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President Obama To Deliver Hope For The Weekend - Live Feed

Tyler Durden's picture




 

What will it be? A gloat about 6 months of 200k-plus jobs growth (but ignoring rise in unemployment and drop in wage growth)? Republican-bashing over the Border Bill? Putin-panning after their phone call this morning (better not discuss costs)? Israel-condemnation (and funding)? Why you should buy the dip because it's patriotic? Stay hopey... (not cyniccy)

 

President Obama is due to speak at 1435ET (so plan accordingly)

 

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Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:33 | 5033974 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

ah yes....o' seinfeld in 3...2...1...1...1....1....cpt

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:37 | 5034002 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Fundamental Ebolization.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:48 | 5034072 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

==========================FUCK OBAMA THE LIAR===================================

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 18:02 | 5035234 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

...deliver dope. 

Now that would make sense.

 

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:37 | 5034014 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Obongo should do something useful like deliver some pizza instead!

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:44 | 5034048 Relentless101
Relentless101's picture

You see here... uh... I support pizza delivery and... uh... small town pizza delivery people. Now if congress... uh... could be reasonable, I think we... uh... could find a lot of common ground here.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:47 | 5034068 PartysOver
PartysOver's picture

Hmmm, how many people working in how many departments overseeing how many regulations to deliver that one pizza.   Not to mention the tip.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:57 | 5034126 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

.gov regs always guarantee just the tip.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:10 | 5034226 Anarchy 99
Anarchy 99's picture

"the tip"      be careful there,

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:51 | 5034094 ACP
ACP's picture

Choom Wagon Express Delivery?

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:21 | 5034290 DeadFinks
DeadFinks's picture

I wouldn't want a pizza that already has half the slices taken out of it.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:54 | 5034464 stant
stant's picture

No way, he's the soup nazi

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:07 | 5034199 Remington IV
Remington IV's picture

Obama ... selling us out again

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:08 | 5034202 Ozy_mandias
Ozy_mandias's picture

Fuck this guy is hard to watch

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 16:27 | 5034679 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Why do you do it? Go for a walk. It's summertime. Look at some flowers. I wouldn't look at him if you paid me.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:10 | 5034227 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

Stop the hatin!

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 17:15 | 5034966 Eireann go Brach
Eireann go Brach's picture

FUCK YOU OBAMA!

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:33 | 5033976 foodstampbarry
foodstampbarry's picture

Obama loves America like O.J. loved Nicole.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:34 | 5033978 Nate Taggart
Nate Taggart's picture

OK, how late will he be today?  My guess: 3:05pm...

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:42 | 5034042 pods
pods's picture

He's looking for his shinebox.

pods

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:35 | 5033979 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Boorish!  I wonder what kind of crap he going to say now?

FREE Ebola treatment?  FREE food along the S border?

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:38 | 5034010 Taterboy
Taterboy's picture

"Ebola victims,come to America we have obamacare!"

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:34 | 5033981 robochess
robochess's picture

and here he is in his freakin' glory: https://vine.co/v/hh3nQMpqvD2

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:39 | 5034016 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I'll have to save that one.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:57 | 5034127 knukles
knukles's picture

Now that's enough to scare Putin off...

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:36 | 5033982 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Fuck him and his executive orders...Cock sucker!

 

http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2014/07/31/executive-order-re...

 

How many diseases or viruses do you suppose are making their way across the border now in the form of future democratic voters? 

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:51 | 5034077 NYPoke
NYPoke's picture

I posted a comment here, a few weeks ago, about needing something like Swine Flu, to clear off the SS & Pension Rolls.  Only way we could afford it.

 

It was a JOKE.  Apparently the White House thought it was a good idea.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:58 | 5034138 knukles
knukles's picture

Keep your thoughts to yourself

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:05 | 5034185 NYPoke
NYPoke's picture

LOL.  Probably a good idea.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:35 | 5033984 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

How is this not a joke?  I mean, does President Jarrett really think we are buying this bs?

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:36 | 5033987 Taterboy
Taterboy's picture

More Marxist Magic. At least Castro showed up on time.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:37 | 5033994 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

He'll be announcing that he has conclusive proof that Putin is behind the Ebola outbreak and is currently skinning live puppies with a cheese grater.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:10 | 5034221 Eyeroller
Eyeroller's picture

Appropriate words from the dog-eater-in-chief.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:39 | 5034000 Mercury
Mercury's picture

We will stop the deluge of amnesty seeking, Central American immigrants by granting amnesty to Central American immigrants.


Because of the children.

Also, racism.

Thank you.

Line forms over here to touch the hem of my garment.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:37 | 5034006 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

   Zero should do his propaganda speeches on CNBS... There's always room at the bottom.

 

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:38 | 5034011 Relentless101
Relentless101's picture

Awesome. Tune me up before I get the chance to enjoy the weekend. Thanks a lot you fuck.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:38 | 5034015 PlusTic
PlusTic's picture

Enough of this Mook already...what the fukk kinda propaganda can he be slinging that he hasn't already slung 1,000 times...

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:38 | 5034020 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

moar free arms for iz ray hole in 3, 2, 1...

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:41 | 5034028 Taterboy
Taterboy's picture

I would do a drinking game everytime he said I or me but my wife would be pissed when she came home and found me in an alcohol-induced coma.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:41 | 5034030 souljaboy
souljaboy's picture

Have the markets ever gone up while this guy was speaking?

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:42 | 5034034 DosZap
DosZap's picture

Who, at this point, does he think will BELIEVE anything he has to offer?.Even his pwn party,and Dems are going Independent.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:57 | 5034495 Bossman1967
Bossman1967's picture

he's a looser

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:42 | 5034035 Utah_Get_Me_2
Utah_Get_Me_2's picture

He'll be announcing that the charade is over. The order has been given, the MRAPS are rolling, wheels up on the black helicopters. Brigade Homeland's newly formed La Raza Division will be escorting you to your new residence at an 'emergency management center'.  

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:43 | 5034039 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

I'm opting out. Fill me in (or bury me) later bitchez.......

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:44 | 5034050 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

    I've had enough of this knuckledraggin podium ape for the week... I'll read Tylers bullets later.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:59 | 5034147 fuu
fuu's picture

Can you choose something other than "ape"? It gives the rest of us a bad name.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 16:10 | 5034571 BigRedRider
BigRedRider's picture

@yen, Use "Silverback" not "Ape".  It sounds more refined and dignified.

 

Ape...me arse.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:46 | 5034058 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

He must have a 3:30 tee time, he was only 10 min. late.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:46 | 5034059 thismarketisrigged
thismarketisrigged's picture

the asshole is bragging about the jobs report. wow

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:46 | 5034061 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

maybe he'll explain the action in the phony paper Silver market....

http://www.kitco.com/charts/livesilver.html

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:47 | 5034063 Minge
Minge's picture

Victory (?) Lap!

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:47 | 5034071 I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

He wants to spend moar moneys.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:48 | 5034075 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Obama:  "Get the false sense of wealth indexes in the green by the close."

FED/Treasury pump team:  "Yes Sir, but we'll have to check in with Dimon and Blankfein first."

THE ECONOMY SUCKS ASS YOU LYING PUPPET.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:49 | 5034079 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

2:47 NY time....as it's speaking....

I just want to say;

SHUT UP FUCKBAMA!

Jesus H. Christ SHUT.............UP!

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:50 | 5034080 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Blah blah blah don't be hateful.... blah blah blah. ... it's their fault...... blah blah blah...republicans...... blah blah blah don't be hateful. They they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they ........

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:49 | 5034081 CharliePrince
CharliePrince's picture

i would like to get a job  giving speeches for 250,000$ a pop..

any help ?

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:49 | 5034083 I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

He's whining.  He's actually, literally, whining.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:54 | 5034109 Taterboy
Taterboy's picture

"Putin's picking on me. Reggie make him stop!"

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:14 | 5034248 Anarchy 99
Anarchy 99's picture

sure, after I pull out

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:49 | 5034087 craus
craus's picture

Hopefully Obama's clown Yellen don't take her hand off the NYSE volume knob.

She turned up the volume around 1:30 pm.

Maybe she'll turn up the intensity just as he gets done with his B.S.

 

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:51 | 5034096 craus
craus's picture

So that's what this speech is about a hissy fit with the House.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:58 | 5034136 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

One would think it's an election year.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:53 | 5034100 IANAE
IANAE's picture

summarizing, yet again...
1. I rock
2. Congress sucks (cue whining...)
3. Remain calm...thanks to me all is well

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:53 | 5034106 I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

He spends ten minutes calling the Republicans shitheads, then whines that he will keep trying to work with them.  OK, they are shitheads, but that's no way to proceed with them.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:01 | 5034108 knukles
knukles's picture

WTF was that all about?
I mean this is nothing short of Kafkaesque

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:54 | 5034112 Utah_Get_Me_2
Utah_Get_Me_2's picture

Congress should stop preventing me from descending the nation into a despotic police state insane aslyum run be yours truly.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:59 | 5034123 Nevsky
Nevsky's picture

If you cannot bring yourself to unmute the broadcast of the Puddle above, I present to you a 1 min recap.

I promise it's more palatable.

 

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:07 | 5034195 knukles
knukles's picture

Awesome!

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:57 | 5034130 fuu
fuu's picture

If I were in line for the Sierra Leone ambassador post I would be quite all right with Congress taking their time appointing me. Not really the strongest rhetorical point.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:58 | 5034141 I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

He's trying, he really is, he's very trying.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:58 | 5034143 moonman
moonman's picture

He is such a tool.

He needs to realize more than half of us think he is an idiot and we do not want Congress to bow down to him.

It never occurs to him at all that we agree with the House?

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 14:59 | 5034154 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Now for some really tough unrehearsed questions. 

 

Oh Glorious Leader? Who would you like to see win the super bowl this year?

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:02 | 5034168 Nevsky
Nevsky's picture

Lilkely repsonse:

"Ungrateful peon, ME, of course ME, ME, ME, ME, ME..."

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:02 | 5034164 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

Umm does O00 look like he's coming down of a cocaine high?

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:09 | 5034203 monad
monad's picture

"People don't always act rational, they don't always act in their medium & long term interests. We just have to keep at it."

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:14 | 5034241 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

As if the Russians are going to bow down to the likes of him and the neo-Nazi's of Kiev; that would be irrational insanity.

What a fucking tool he is; unbelievable - if I weren't witnessing it.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:35 | 5034358 monad
monad's picture

He's not acting rational and he's not acting in our medium or long term interests, but he's going to keep at it.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:08 | 5034208 monad
monad's picture

IMPEACH. PROSECUTE. EXECUTE. ALL OF THEM.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:08 | 5034209 I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

Why is he here when he could be playing golf? 

We could be listening to Mr. Earnst or Ms. Psaki or Ms. Harf.

Or Joe "Babe" Biden.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 17:37 | 5035060 Froman
Froman's picture

Biden is probably out skinny dipping in his pool in front of the female Secret Service Agents which apparently happens frequently.  There is a new book out that claims that among the Secret Service details the Biden detail is the second worse detail you can be assigned to...the worst is the Hillary detail.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:11 | 5034232 fuu
fuu's picture

At least he just admitted we've run out of money. A little truth leaking out around the smugness.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:12 | 5034236 I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

"I'm doing what a white guy would have done."

oh here we go ... he's going to close the Washington Monument again to pay for the Guatemalan childrens, oh boy this is one for the ages, or the 25th amendment.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:15 | 5034262 Ariadne
Ariadne's picture

Play this soundtrack to negate the effects of Obamahear

Judas Priest: Tyrant

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_ZsERw4pWo

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:17 | 5034273 moonman
moonman's picture

"A country as wealthy as ours"

oh I see he has no idea we are bankrupt?

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:58 | 5034492 RichardENixon
RichardENixon's picture

I see you have no idea that debt is wealth

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:17 | 5034274 q99x2
q99x2's picture

I wonder if anyone thinks he is lying?

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:19 | 5034284 ljag
ljag's picture

I think we should send those poor children back home then pull a Castro and empty out our toughest prisons instead. Give the kiddies milk and Mookies...er cookies!

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:20 | 5034289 JRobby
JRobby's picture

remain calm

we are fucked

remain calm

we are fucked

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:24 | 5034303 papaswamp
papaswamp's picture

so according to the prez, letting 'immigrants' into the country will help the existing middle class ( what's left of it ) get jobs and make more money...

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:50 | 5034448 Bossman1967
Bossman1967's picture

lies lies and more lies

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:27 | 5034312 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture
  1. 3:26p

    Obama: U.S. did some things wrong post 9-11

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:30 | 5034332 XitSam
XitSam's picture

He indirectly admitted the border was insecure. If the border was secure there would be no need for a supplemental funding bill for border enforcement.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:50 | 5034441 Bossman1967
Bossman1967's picture

he needs to re up his Obama cash find for these lazy no good dick was supporters.....

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:32 | 5034340 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Impeach him. Prosecute him for treason.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:49 | 5034435 Bossman1967
Bossman1967's picture

fuck him that Looser

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 19:43 | 5035758 XitSam
XitSam's picture

Waste of money. After the treason execution, no need to impeach.

Sat, 08/02/2014 - 04:15 | 5036925 22winmag
22winmag's picture

...and have to deal with watching Shotgun Joe Biden be sworn in as President??

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:33 | 5034347 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

Isolate, quarantine, ship them 7,000 miles, .... makes NO sense!

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:34 | 5034353 Headspace
Headspace's picture

still talking.....

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:38 | 5034382 esum
esum's picture

and now the "president of the united states of america".... thank you .... eh....em.... ah ... eh... ah.... der ah ..... um der ah.... ah.... eh....em... any questions? 

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:47 | 5034429 Bossman1967
Bossman1967's picture

he just wants to give us all free coke and pot so we will be in a daze as he bends us over and sticks his Ebola up our collective asses. party time Barry the funking asshole Obama

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 15:57 | 5034470 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

CNBC read the transcript and the take away:

"Short of going to War" we are constrained on Russia.

http://www.cnbc.com/id/101888164

 

Nice weekend.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 16:56 | 5034834 fukidontknow
fukidontknow's picture

He's being blackmailed by Michelle - a black male.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 17:45 | 5035145 jubber
jubber's picture

WHO chief says Obama out of control but can be stopped 

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