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Bloomberg "Surrealistic" Headline Of The Day
Once upon a time, Bloomberg had the best, most bizarre and/or cryptic headlines in all of finance. It is certainly bidding to regain this lost reputation with the following:
And the lede:
- The U.S. labor market is looking a little surreal these days.
Yes. Whatever the author had, er, said.
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<-- Fuck cnbc
<-- surprise butt sechs
Way back when...
In '67....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzfwtX2kgOA
when i hear yellen's name, i imagine her as a zombie on the walking dead. instead of her kneeling over a body and pulling out someone's liver, she's kneeling over a buffet and just going to town on everything. the only time she looks up is when the busboy brings a new tray of mashed potatoes with gravy.
She looks like she got some of the brown acid.
"What are you sick? I'm a slick stupid scientist, rhyming that you can't comprehend but your buying this."
The Cuervo Gold...the fine Columbian...
So that bitch woody allen sounding bowl cut wearing gorgon is a jive soul bro?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypriog7h2OQ
Considering the Fed lives in the land of unicorns and rainbows, what's so unusual?
"Considering the Fed lives in the land of unicorns and rainbows in the service of a felony, what's so unusual?"
Well, the current media/propaganda circus, and the (completely unrelated, FED-driven) market behavior IS akin to a mushroom or acid trip I suppose.
perhaps we are the ones on acid?? perhaps it is the zh faithful that have oversimplified a 16 trillion dollar economy? perhaps we are the ones who underestimate the abilities of the fed and its cohorts to maintain stability for infinity?
sounds good to me.
Yeah like wow man...
It's like way farmed out there..
Like, if you remember the 60's.. you weren't there man..
Fuckin A... where's my bong now when I need it...
And all those hippie chicks..
I gave up on that long ago, and take advantage of the free currency to BTFD.
Infinity is an odd concept. Take this question for example: On the real number line, are there more numbers between 0 and 2 than there are between 0 and 1? The answer is no, there are not. For any number between 0 and 2 that you can give me, I can give you a number between 0 and 1 that you need only multiply by 2 to get your number.
Yet I can find algebreac expressions that have points that, without calculus, boil down to infinity/infinity, but with calculus (or a simple graph,) boil down to an actual non infinite number, such as 3/2 or 3.3333333 or whatever. So there are different "degrees" of inifinity.
So, what kind of infinity is the Fed dealing with here?
When they flunked calculus, the economists were shamed and invented their own flavour of math.
And to answer your question, even Cantor can't help.
- Ned
Maybe in the US. In every other part of the world economists need higher tier mathematical abilities. Sure most aren't as mathematically proficient as a physics, or a mathematics graduate, but they are more mathematically proficient than the average citizen.
The dickhead talking heads which you hear about such as Krueger and Berspankme are actually the dumbasses of the class based on their areas of specialty (mostly fucking history, or public sector economics- see: how to think up inventive ways to tax the average citizen). Anyone with brains gets further qualifications and goes into the private sector.
You can't mix math with economics it just does not add up.
so you are saying us : 1+ infinite < 0+ infinite
then you speak of multiplication...
no doubt, you are an american.
did you find hong kong & crimea on map ?
I'm talking about counting the elements in the set of numbers defined by 0<=x<=2 and comparing that to the set defined by 0<=x<=1.
It will work until it doesn't, and ZH has zero insight as to when that's gonna happen.
Those were the fun Jefferson Airplane years, this is more like the Grace Slick of music abomination Jefferson Starship.
So true.
Or even worse - just plain Starship.
In college, the student council had a choice to bring to campus either Starship or the Violent Femmes. They went with Starship, who I've hated ever since, along with my fellow alums.
You missed out, you poor bastards.
Or even worse - just plain Starship.
"We Build this [Strike]City[/Strike] Country on [Strike]Rock-n-Roll [/Strike] Quantativve Easing!"
[For those that don't get it, the Group Starship had a popular and very anonying song called "We built this city" back in 1985]
Plastic Fantastic Lover
"One pill makes you larger,
and one pill makes you small
And the ones the Fed gives you
don't do anything at all
Go ask Janet . . ."
"Go ask Janet,
He'll out-print you all!!!"
Have you heard the Fed's "After Bathing at Bernanke's" album? Ambitious and trippy . . .
Yellen thought "feed your head" meant put a bowl on it.
Yellen is to Volcker what mid-80s Starship was to Jefferson Airplane.
"Janet in the Fed with printers" to the music of "Lucy in the Sky with diamonds"
Picture yourself at a resort in Wyoming
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies
Somebody dropped rates; they’ll raise them quite slowly
A gal with big, Keynesian eyes
Equity prices of yellow and green
Towering over your head
Look for the gal with QE in her eyes
And she's gone
Janet in the Fed with printers
Janet in the Fed with printers, ah
Follow her down to a Starbucks in Brooklyn
Where coffehouse people eat marshmallow pies
Everyone smiles as you drift past its stock price
That’s grown so incredibly high
Janet in the Fed with printers
"Janet in the Fed with printers" to the music of "Lucy in the Sky with diamonds"
"A [Strike]girl[/Strike] Hermaphrodite with kaleidoscope [Strike]eyes[/Strike] monetary polcies"
When the Truth is found to be lies
and all the joy within the Market dies
Don't you want somebody to Print?
Dont ya need somebody to Print?
Wouldnt you love somebody to Print?
you better find somebody to Print....
That's a headline that only an algo would understand. But then, algos run the "markets" as we still call them.
Playing to the only greater fool audience they have left that actually have money in the stock market as stawks and not pensions/401ks, Baby Boomers.
I would also imagine this is also a way to write critical piece of the FED without spooking their precious stock market since the sentiment analysis algos don't have the word surreal catagorized one way or the other.
If that is the case we have clear cut case of algos being a form of an attack against the 1st amendment as form of speach codes limiting what words and how the press can report on things.
I guess "the labor market is tight" is wall st-ese for "that declining incomes situation for working people isn't accelerating enough"
Blue horseshoe likes Anacott steel.
Blue Horseshoe likes fiat paper
Blue Horseshoe loves Anacott Steel at 11:41:45.0002, represented on Nanex chart B3 as the green vertical bar. Notice how at 11:41:45.0003, he no longer loves Anacott Steel, represented by the red vertical bar. This is followed by repeated cycles of love it, love-it-not, until the stock price is just a withering stump of ratty plant matter. That's represented by the hovering gray blob in figure 4H.
FED's promising S&P 2000 for the Holiday Season...
At this rate by this Christmas, they will have really outdone themselves!
They're going all out or is it, going all in?
Very interesting that Yellen would channel Slick, the former manager of Ted DiBiase, the "Millon Dollar Man"!! Maybe she's trying to turn him into the Trillion Dollar Man.
I guess that makes it official: we're down the rabbit hole.
SLICK WATTS ???
Up my FAFSA. Yellen MuthaFukka.
Its cryptic, not surrealistic.
Yellen speaks in forked tongue.
What does this mean?
Usually it's a pronoun to indicate a person, thing, idea, or other noun.
Surreal labor market. There you have it. Lower unemployment stats but nobody's working. Labor participation rate is ugly. Thousands upon thousands working part time. At least the Europeans have the decency to tell it like it is. Greece 30% unemployment, Spain 25% unemployment, not to mention the 50% youth unemployment in either state. Average European unemployment rate is 12%. There is fudging going on as well, but it seems the numbers are less "surreal".
Well. If you read the story, it explains the headline. It is still stupid though.
OT: Bunga is baaack! http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/aug/18/iceland-volcano-risk-raised...
The Eyjafjallajokull volcano will protect Western Europe from Ebola!! Let it rip Eyjafjallajokull!!
I am truly relieved.
You can't just randomly hit letters on a keyboard and then call it a volcano. Can you?
The Bardarbunga volcano will protect Western Europe from Ebola!! Let it rip Bardarbunga!!
I am truly relieved.
< -- Economy is driver-less like an out of control bus approaching a bend
< -- Economic shepherds have things well in-hand and things are going to work out well.
Yeah and the US National Debt back in 67 was 344 billion with a B compared to 17.6 Trillion with a T ! Median household income adjusted for inflation in 67 was 42k compared to 48k today! In 1967 we had a police force that was here to protect and serve where as today we have a police military that shoots first and asks questions later! What the fuck is going on? Our government no longer recognizes the Constitution and thinks it can control and spy on every American! The list is endless however the saddest fact is in 67 our children had hope for a bright future and spent their days playing outside and enjoying life where as today they are caught up in a Totalitarian state that controls them with technology and Corporate owned social media and grooms them to be future serfs. Pretty fucking sad if you ask me seeing how they are the ones that will be responsible for the debt!
I agree with you post except for the statistic:
"Median household income adjusted for inflation in 67 was 42k compared to 48k today!"
That cannot be correct.
One income back in 1967 could support a family of 4, save for college and save for retirement and was backstopped by a pension. What does one average income afford today?
Today, that is so far from true it is laughable.
And get this: Productivity is 17 times greater today than in 1967. That means that the tools used to manufacture goods run by one man hour of labor produced 17 times more product today than back in 1967. Yet TPTB/"Masters of the Universe" wish us to think we are poorer today. I laugh at them. We all should.
We are all being screwed. American work force income has not kept pace with increased productivity. That is truly obvious.
This is post of the year +10000 to you sir. I thought I was the only one seeing it...
"scientia ac labore"
She performed the next night with the band but was so inebriated she could not sing properly but began to attack the audience, mocking the country for losing World War II, and groping both female audience members and band mates. The next day she left the group. That same year she was dragged off a San Francisco game show for abusing the contestants...
yep, sounds like yellen, minus the getting dragged off.
Grace Slick of the Jefferson Airplane.
Album The Surrealistic Pillow.
Song reference The White Rabbit.
Great headline.
Bitch.
Janet Yellen and the Federal Reserve has failed to take serious efforts in pushing the government to take the necessary reforms needed to move the economy forward. Policy makers aided by the media thrive at presenting simplistic answers that solve both economic and society’s problems with little or no effort required from the masses.
What started as a program to support and prop up the economy has morphed into the main driver of economic data. Between the low interest rates that has propelled investors into high risk assets in search of a positive return on their money, and money being pumped into the system, the markets have become distorted and disconnected from the economy. The idea that investors will continue to pour money into the sky high equity market is flawed. More on this subject in the article below.
http://brucewilds.blogspot.com/2014/06/exit-strategy-from-qe-remains-elu...