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Researchers Expect Over 20 US Ebola Cases In Weeks, "You Don't Want To Know Worst Case"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

"We have a worst-case scenario, and you don't even want to know," warns Alessandro Vespignani, a researcher creating simulations of infectious disease outbreaks, but there could be as many as two dozen people in the U.S. infected with Ebola by the end of the month. The projections only run through October because it’s too difficult to model what will occur if the pace of the outbreak changes but, as Bloomberg reports, Vespignani warns if the outbreak becomes more widespread in other regions, it "would be like a bad science fiction movie."

As Bloomberg reports,

Alessandro Vespignani, a Northeastern University professor who runs computer simulations of infectious disease outbreaks warns there could be as many as two dozen people in the U.S. infected with Ebola by the end of the month.

 

...

 

The projections only run through October because it’s too difficult to model what will occur if the pace of the outbreak changes in West Africa, where more than 8,900 people have been infected and 4,400 have died, he said. If the outbreak isn’t contained, the numbers could rise significantly.

 

“If by the end of the year the growth rate hasn’t changed, then the game will be different,” Vespignani said. “It will increase for many other countries.”

The model analyzes disease activity, flight patterns and other factors that can contribute to its spread.

“We have a worst-case scenario, and you don’t even want to know,” Vespignani said. “We could have widespread epidemics in other countries, maybe the Far East. That would be like a bad science fiction movie.”

The worst case would occur if Ebola acquires pandemic status and is no longer contained in West Africa, he said. It would be a catastrophic event, one Vespignani says he is confident won’t happen.

The CDC disagrees...

It’s unlikely that Ebola will ever exceed 20 cases in the U.S. or Europe because of their extensive health care infrastructures, said Ramanan Laxminarayan, director of the Center for Disease Dynamics, Economics & Policy, a non-profit think tank in Washington, D.C. The problem in the developed world will center more on the economic impact, he said.

“The damage is not as much in the number of deaths as much as in the panic it creates and all the disruption it creates in trade and travel,” he said. “It’s important for public health officials to strike a balance between being serious and certainly not creating panic.”

“It’s not going to be like the movie ‘Contagion,’” he said.

And Eli Perencevich, professor of epidemiology at the University of Iowa Carver College of Medicine, said average Americans shouldn’t see any risk from the virus outside of the medical community because patients aren’t terribly infectious until the disease peaks...

“There’s a high probability that there will be another person who comes in, no matter what we do, but the risk is in the hospital,” he said in a telephone interview. “As long as people who know they have been exposed to the virus get themselves quickly to the hospital, even after they have started a fever, it should be OK because they aren’t that infectious.”

*  *  *
Let's hope he is right!

 

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Thu, 10/16/2014 - 23:31 | 5345096 seek
seek's picture

"hey i wonder if there is any money in this"

There absolutely is depending on where you want to take it, but it's probably not much. However, that little diatribe is going to be incredible click bait for the whackadoos -- I'd definitely use an anonymous domain service... and then post your link to beforeitsnews.com

Fri, 10/17/2014 - 00:48 | 5345243 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

okay I did it. what a jape!

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 16:37 | 5343350 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

ebolahoaxtruth.com

bookmark it! expect updates any time i am gripped with insanity!

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 19:46 | 5344340 cheech_wizard
cheech_wizard's picture

Visitor #31 !

Two minor suggestions...change the background image to biohazard symbols and ebola pictures. Add an ebola body counter, and link it to the number of visitors.

 

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 19:59 | 5344405 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

I almost did that for the backgrounds but then decided it didn't fit with the "it's a hoax" line. So I used something that looked like ebola instead. maybe I should change to the ebola plushie (yes there is a toy). a infection counter is likewise not in keeping with the line, but on the other hand might be fun to have anyway like "this many peole are not infected because it is a HOAX!"

Thanks for the suggestions.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 23:34 | 5345098 seek
seek's picture

Awesome! Now you need a bitcoin donation address. on the left side of the page.

I love soft pretzels!

 

Fri, 10/17/2014 - 04:29 | 5345429 cheech_wizard
cheech_wizard's picture

Up to 114473 visitors... LOL!

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:29 | 5342945 boattrash
boattrash's picture

Coog, a bad case of the Clap is also "absolutely epic" but only to the person who has it.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 19:45 | 5344339 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Hyperlink it, so ppl can click on it.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:36 | 5342981 New World Chaos
New World Chaos's picture

Awesome.  I will forward it to my friend who has been telling me the same thing, and wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 16:38 | 5342995 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

sure go ahead. link back to ZH they love the traffic.

 

edit: or link to the source: ebolahoaxtruth.com

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 19:47 | 5344346 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Why would Christian Missionaries, and Christian organizations as Doctors without Borders lie...or even be complicit in a hoax?

 

It would destroy their credibility and their organization in the long term as they get their funding from donation.

 

Christians do not think like unbelievers. We do not believe that the ends justify the means. And if there were corrupted individuals within those organizations then they would be outed by those within the organization whom are faithful to Christ.

 

Principles over profits.

 

(In a sense I hope that you are right that it is a hoax. But somehow...it is just not a hoax this time.)

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 19:47 | 5344350 cheech_wizard
cheech_wizard's picture

Time to make your page go viral... a few well placed links on Congressional members Facebook pages should do the trick.

 

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 20:08 | 5344443 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

you have my permission :)

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 21:57 | 5344821 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

Lemme guess. Ain't no vaccine for the Filohoax Ebola Tejas virus nedder.
I read on dem dar Natural News healtnRangers that it mutatered again.
Your still shit blood and all your gizzards out n'all, but you also shit flaming hot chili sauce, too, right out the ol' tailpipe with it.. And it's like, WAY BIGGER cause they do everything BIGGER in Tejas y'all don't ha know it even down to things like blastin' shitty flaming hot blood out the nickel slot yehahhaw flamin pile a munkey nuts yeah, sumbitch. Sheeiittt, we goon' show ya'll how we do the opackolips Tejas style! Yeah we may all be dead but BIGGER DEAD than them Yankee queers who only die small and wear skinny jeans and slippers while doin' it. That ain't no way to die, emo boy! Step up and die like ha got a set. Hot damn watch me blast fire n blood out my Diamond Gussets!

It's true though. I read it. Said it just like that.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:24 | 5342912 90's Child
90's Child's picture

By 'zone' you mean 'high' right?

That's the only time I can stretch the current situation into something more crazy than it really is, to the point I almost don't believe it.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:28 | 5342940 MakeMineADouble
MakeMineADouble's picture

ha ha ha.  

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:13 | 5342828 Latitude25
Latitude25's picture

Speaking of idiots.  Our own president Obola admitted to hugging and kissing nurses who have treated Ebola patients.  Either he's going to get very sick or else he knows something about this disease that you and I don't, like it's a fucking hoax.

http://rt.com/usa/196556-ebola-obama-us-protocol/

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:30 | 5342952 exi1ed0ne
exi1ed0ne's picture

Or he is, you know, dumb.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:48 | 5343063 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

"Our own president Obola admitted to hugging and kissing nurses who have treated Ebola patients."

Pictures or it didn't happen!!

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 16:17 | 5343231 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

They were male nurses. The Secret Service confiscated all evidence at gunpoint.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:58 | 5343133 TheMeatTrapper
TheMeatTrapper's picture

Exactly. Never attribute anything to malice that can be explained by stupidity.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:32 | 5342971 CrimsonAvenger
CrimsonAvenger's picture

No, he just knows that even ebola is afraid of a Joe Biden presidency.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 19:59 | 5344399 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Obola is immune to Ebola.
Different genus.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 23:06 | 5345012 cheech_wizard
cheech_wizard's picture

I think it sounds better to say Ebola is immune to Obama...

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:15 | 5342848 Cthonic
Cthonic's picture

LOLZ!

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:15 | 5342857 angel_of_joy
angel_of_joy's picture

So that's how Ebola looks like... in writing.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:18 | 5342879 Tenshin Headache
Tenshin Headache's picture

lol at the up and down arrows

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:21 | 5342897 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

that is my favorite part.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:37 | 5342993 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

Cougar_W what made you write that the way you did?  That is James Joyce-like stream of consciousness.  I hope that folks will understand what you did there.  I like it.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:40 | 5343011 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

wow thanks for the compliment. but you should know that really I'm just insane.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:55 | 5343111 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

I would hope that you are insane.  If you aren't insane by now then I would worry.  I am told that you and I should get a room.  Well, that is fine with me as long as the room is filled with liquor and a couple of nice reclining chairs so we can get piss drunk and talk about philoshophy. 

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 17:11 | 5343565 ILLILLILLI
ILLILLILLI's picture

Ah...the love of shops.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 20:01 | 5344409 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Coug', didn't Tyler tell you that you're supposed to take only ONE Red Pill a day?

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 23:10 | 5345029 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

Cougar, I have a request. Will you please feed Tommy Frieden to a tiger (or 2 or 8)?

Thanks in advance,

e_

 

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:21 | 5342895 hazden
hazden's picture

Well done.

I'm protected because I made this hat from aluminum foil.

http://youtu.be/w-0TEJMJOhk?t=1m16s

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:26 | 5342923 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

omg that was brilliant

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:38 | 5342996 centerline
centerline's picture

Love his work.  Remember first hearing him on the radio in Chicago when I was kid.  That was really good. 

Thanks!

In return:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFNO2sSW-mU

 

 

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:22 | 5342903 PenchantForHoarding
PenchantForHoarding's picture

WHEN YOU WRITE IN ALL CAPS IT FEELS LIKE YOU'RE YELLING AT ME!!!

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:27 | 5342928 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

GOOD BECAUSE I'M YELLING WHILE I'M TYPING THIS SO IT'S WORKING!!!!1!!

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:49 | 5343064 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Sorry...I'm hard of hearing. What was that again?

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 16:27 | 5343273 Cortez
Cortez's picture

GOOD.......BECAUSE...I...AM...........YELLING!!!!

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:43 | 5343035 joego1
joego1's picture

Go outside it will cure that- AND TAKE 100MILIGRAMS OF COLIDAL SILVER>...!!!LOL

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 16:15 | 5343216 83_vf_1100_c
83_vf_1100_c's picture

"COLIDAL"

Yes, scream your poor spelling skills, wouldn't want anyone to miss that.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 16:21 | 5343243 Boxed Merlot
Boxed Merlot's picture

TAKE 100MILIGRAMS OF COLIDAL SILVER...

 

 

I think you mint to say "coloidal" like I meant to say US Mint. 

Anyway, where can a person get a decent review of the Blessed Trinity's, (Father Paulson / Only Begotten Geithner and the Holy Bernanke), testimonies from last week's AIG trial besides the market's wild rides of late?  Seems ZH is still on sabbatical with this one.

 

just askin' 

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:28 | 5342934 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

Couger is one of the best on ZH.  I was concerned when I saw all caps but then I read it and I get it... and I laughed.  Cougar tried a different style of writing and I liked it.  I say plus one for going a fecetious rant like that.     

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:31 | 5342955 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

thx i try to take it up a notch now and again.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:34 | 5342978 Bendromeda Strain
Bendromeda Strain's picture

Get a room you two...

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:43 | 5343033 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

OK

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:38 | 5342989 wtf1369
wtf1369's picture

Bravo sir.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:39 | 5343008 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

I never took you for a mainframe coder, cougar.  You working PL/1 or COBOL?

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:40 | 5343020 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

FORTRAN mostly

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:45 | 5343050 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

Good Thangz.  I espaped PL/1 for IBM COBOL and then signed onto a java slave galley to get away from that!

I've seen people here get all bent out of shape on email because some poor nerd still wearing a polyester 3 piece doesn't bother to take his caps lock off.

Shouted at them, you know, being rude and all OMG!!!

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:49 | 5343071 joego1
joego1's picture

I don't care about the caps but if you go rebooting on me thats when I start heading for the door.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 16:07 | 5343175 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

THIS kind of "Fortran":

http://madscienceunlimited.com/fiction/theexchange.html

"all-caps" pretty much explains Fortran to a tee.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:59 | 5343135 Five8Charlie
Five8Charlie's picture

Well, that explains the message in all caps.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:39 | 5343012 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

well coug, that's a pretty good advertisement

for learning to Trust your own intuition/reality

 

after you've done a bit of real re-search of course.

 

and the Truth is, everyone has "one", no two exactly alike.

perspective, that is.

 

best get 'em in order, its sure to be a wild ride incoming.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:47 | 5343059 Callz d Ballz
Callz d Ballz's picture

Holding a clip board eh?

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:50 | 5343082 CHX
CHX's picture

Cougar, take a trip to W-Africa and report back to us, will ya?

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 17:31 | 5343677 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

r u kidding? people are dying over there.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:55 | 5343113 real
real's picture

Idiot

Fri, 10/17/2014 - 01:41 | 5345306 Tom Terrific
Tom Terrific's picture

Do you look like a Smurf?

Fri, 10/17/2014 - 05:36 | 5345482 ListenToTISM
ListenToTISM's picture

Anybody who questions the msm and government's agenda in hyping up the ebola fear must believe in lizard people?

The good news for you is that if and when the US version of Operation Condor takes place, you will likely be safe.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Condor#U.S._involvement

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:07 | 5342776 1000yrdstare
1000yrdstare's picture

Hard to say at this point....I am waiting for pix of liquified victims..

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:15 | 5342850 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Will US obesity slow down the liquification progress ?

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:29 | 5342948 pods
pods's picture

Does in infect fat cells?
Shit, there goes my soap business.

Of course, that will mean a constant supply of raw materials?

pods 

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 22:10 | 5344855 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

No. But Brawndo will.

Electrolytes! Waters for toilets.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 23:12 | 5345034 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

More to work with, so probably yes.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:05 | 5342783 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

After the Sandy Hook hoax, the Boston Bombing false-flag and the MH-17 escapades, need you ask?!

An American, not US subject.

 

"The only 'epidemic' is an epidemic of FUD."

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:33 | 5342976 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

I believe the talking points being blasted over the TV are working.  I just heard someone in my office say, "I am so scared.  When are they coming out with the vacine?  You know, I wouldn't be surprised if ISIS came over here with the virus.  They don't care if they die because they are going to get their virgins."

I could barely contain my laughter.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 16:20 | 5343247 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Yup, nothing like FUD to short circuit critical thinking skills, what little there was in the first place.

A commenter, TimBrady, on use of fear in 1984:

I would add that one of the key elements they use is "reality creation."  It's part of their "who controls the present controls the past; who controls the past controls the future."  Citizens never know if anything that they were told was "true" yesterday is true today --- or if it ever was true.  If people make their decisions based on the available information, and the information can be manipulated to get the citizens to believe anything, then they are under the governments control with a shot being fired --- by their side, at least.

http://www.enotes.com/homework-help/how-the-party-control-citiznes-ocean...

An American, not US subject.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:40 | 5342998 Bendromeda Strain
Bendromeda Strain's picture

I would love to hear which part of your statement the downer gang were protesting. It is actually one of the least controversial things you have posted, imo.

Ebola? I blame Boooosh (meat)

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:07 | 5342792 Government need...
Government needs you to pay taxes's picture

Real, but the government's potential to use Ebola to tyrannize is an even larger threat.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:17 | 5342876 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Again..."shelter and pace"...I mean "shelter in place."

It's "hard tellin not knowing." And we'll probably never know until we're dead anyway so...

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 16:28 | 5343277 XAU XAG
XAU XAG's picture

There would be no need for governments potentila to  tyrannize

If you are all dead or dieing

 

Think about it.

.GOV does have a stake in every tax paying citizen to pay off it's debt

Who is going to worry about the debt if every one is dead?

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:08 | 5342806 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

<---- Death by Ebola is Real

<---- Death by Ebola is Fake

 

BOHICA

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:11 | 5342812 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

So, BTFBOHICA then?

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 23:14 | 5345041 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

No reason to btfanything.

Wait it out long enough and there will be plenty to go around.

 

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:19 | 5342824 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

For me, it has overtones of the whole terrorism meme. In other words, if it's such a threat, why are the borders wide open? Why are planes still flying into and out of west Africa?

So I see two possibilities: A) it's fake or highly exaggerated; B) it's real and the "authorities" are highly inept. Either way, it will be used to centralize even more power and further erode civil liberties.

EDIT: Third possibility — it's real and the "authorities" are insane/evil/satanic/demonic/reptilian.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:19 | 5342887 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Its a drill w/ live elements, IMO.  To what extent they are willing to 'go live' I don't know.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:36 | 5342982 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

I think the pictures of the house being quaranteened show the bredth of the police state that is in place and the fact that the public will allow for government agents to do "whatever it takes" to keep them "safe". 

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:38 | 5343006 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

The Boston Marathon bombing proved that Americans will actually cheer for martial law.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:44 | 5343043 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

well, if "Americans" accept their corporate labeling, and the uni-form that goes with it, and the brand-flag, and the invisible lines that define the territory. . .

 

then yeah, "martial law" is an inevitable double-plus good.

 

blue pills like candy!

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:56 | 5343121 Anarchy 99
Anarchy 99's picture

Yes, sad but true.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:36 | 5342973 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

This seems to be consensus among those who are critical and aware of a) media-suggested perceptions and b) state-enacted realities.

There was a video posted by El Oregonian a few days ago - I haven't had any time to keep up to date, so I have yet to watch this in full. From the few minutes I did see, the speaker managed to present enough datapoints to make me question any and all information regarding this 'scare' (word of great importance and effect).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZonCVRQ-2s

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:55 | 5343085 centerline
centerline's picture

Will watch later. 

In general, the turn of events here just dosn't add up.  I do tend to lean towards it being real... kind of hard to fake something on such a scale.  I also tend to lean towards Hanlon's Razor regarding the handling of the situation.

The economy (and geopolitics) are hanging by a thread.  I think priority one is to downplay this straight away - and right up until the math rolls over them (or it brought under control/fizzles out).  Big gamble - but they dont really have any other option (from thier perspective... keeping the ponzi going - barbarians at the gate, etc.).

Along the way, the media just can't help themselves.  TPTB can't just swing this one way or the other like is done with politics and policy.

 

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 20:16 | 5344465 The_Prisoner
The_Prisoner's picture

Gates Foundation enlists CSL to explore plasma treatment for Ebola. Usual suspects involved.

http://headlines.ransquawk.com/headlines/gates-foundation-has-enlisted-csl-csl-at-to-explore-plasma-treatment-for-ebola-16-10-2014

CSL are the people behind the Cervical Cancer Vaccina Gardasil, which are causing leg paralysis on girls around the world.

Do a search for Gardasil Paralysis and weep. Those people should be thrown in Jail.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 20:10 | 5344455 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

You forgot another possibility: Timing.

They could very well be rolling out the closing of borders and air travel, to coincide with a Monetary Reset, and thus trap any Capital trying to flee.

One hand washes the other.

p.s. If this is indeed the case, then you do realize the irony of ZHers asking for borders to be sealed?

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 22:33 | 5344918 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

Agree on timing, but...
By all means, Kirk. Cross over into Mehico now. Report back your results.

Take your gold and silver and FRNs with you. You can't get out now and you wouldn't even be able to bribe 20 feet in. An amigo on that side will take it and your ass will go to jail. Try claiming refugee status and signing up for welfare. You'd actually have a better case for it now than the beaner babies...

Face it folks. They went for it. They don't do false flags every fucking time. They let it in. They wanted it in. Then, they lost control.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 19:07 | 5344160 cnmcdee
cnmcdee's picture

<<-- Ebola is REAL

<<-- US Government reaction is faked

THERE FIXED IT FOR YAH..

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:05 | 5342775 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Yeah... Terrible... So what's next? Because this ebola crap isn't cutting it...

That IOS 8.02 ON THE OTHER HAND!!!

Man!!!!!

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:05 | 5342786 sixsigma cygnus...
sixsigma cygnusatratus's picture

So, it sounds like they're saying it's contained then, right? Okay...

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:06 | 5342788 spieslikeus
spieslikeus's picture

But.......that's assuming there are no more 'Duncan's who decline to tell anyone of their contact.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:23 | 5342908 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"We've only got...2,647...or is it 2,648? Seven?...2,647 of those Mr. President.

Yes, sir we're working on that.

No, sir we don't think It Came From Outer Space.

What's that?

Well...all options are on the table sir..
Sure...we can do take out. Mexican or Chinese?

That's for food you idiot!

What?

Uh, oh...

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:07 | 5342798 UTICA CLUB XX PURE
UTICA CLUB XX PURE's picture

[Ebola is real] [Obola is fake]

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:08 | 5342800 Otto Zitte
Otto Zitte's picture

Apparently Obama doesn't think getting a pardon will be adequate.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:11 | 5342801 Tenshin Headache
Tenshin Headache's picture

I was waiting to hear from the modelers. In about 2 weeks we'll have a pretty good idea who is right.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:08 | 5342803 DelusionalGrandeur
DelusionalGrandeur's picture

If you like your infection, you can keep your infection! All hail king obola!

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:16 | 5342805 Overflow-admin
Overflow-admin's picture

 

infected=$((infected << 1))

00000001
00000010
00000100
00001000
00010000
00100000
01000000
10000000
00000000 [NO V FLAG]
00000000 [NO V FLAG]
00000000 [NO V FLAG]
00000000 [NO V FLAG]

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:20 | 5342893 madcows
madcows's picture

excuse me stewardess, I speak Binary.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:23 | 5342911 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

clever girl

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 16:21 | 5343248 clade7
clade7's picture

Jurasiac Park reference..I like it!  Certainly applies..

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 18:24 | 5343950 ILLILLILLI
ILLILLILLI's picture

Isn't that what Mr. Hadden says to Ellie Arroway...?

 

 

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:37 | 5342986 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

You need to upgrade to a 32-bit processor.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:09 | 5342809 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

[sound of long inhalation]

There'll be no one to stop us this time.

[sound of respirator]

hahahahahahahaha

[sound of respirator]

[sound of throat clearing]

It just isn't as ominous after a hit of helium.

[sound of respirator]

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:11 | 5342814 Bernoulli
Bernoulli's picture

Markets are turning red again.

But CNBC people are still optimistic and excited.

"The damage has been done"

"Buy the dip"

Only one guy makes sense. Santinelli. Santinelli on Bullard: "What he said didn't make any sense"

I want to see the terror in their faces again when the indices tank in the last half an hour... it was so much fun...

 

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:17 | 5342863 Bell's 2 hearted
Bell&#039;s 2 hearted's picture

Jawboning ... besides, Bullard has no vote this year ... or in 2015

 

"voters" need to speak up

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:17 | 5342874 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

I wouldn't buy this dip with your money, let alone mine.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:29 | 5342947 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Yep.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 20:02 | 5344424 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Goldman Sachs would buy this dip with your money. Then they'd sell and take your money...muppet.

 

Goldman Sachs..."Doing God's work"

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 16:03 | 5343152 fightapathy
fightapathy's picture

When a person drowns, they feel a rush of euphoria -- shortly before the embrace of death.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:12 | 5342816 1000yrdstare
1000yrdstare's picture

Frieden= band director on the Titanic.....play on...

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:14 | 5342840 FredFlintstone
FredFlintstone's picture

These over-paid political hacks never expect to have to actually do anything. Once in a while a crisis happens and their incompetence is laid bare for all the world to see.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:18 | 5342869 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Is Tiny (Tiptoe...) Tim available as guest soloist?

No?

Well, crap.

Eh, figuratively speaking of course.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:52 | 5343079 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

They were a quartet, without a director. . . and they played on volutarily.  You insult them with the comparison to this useless political hack.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:11 | 5342817 Latitude25
Latitude25's picture

Speaking of idiots.  Our own president Obola admitted to hugging and kissing nurses who have treated Ebola patients.  Either he's going to get very sick or else he knows something about this disease that you and I don't, like it's a fucking hoax.

http://rt.com/usa/196556-ebola-obama-us-protocol/

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:51 | 5343088 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

There's a third possibility - he's a lunatic inflated narcissist who thinks he's above a mere disease -- and he's going to catch it and die.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 19:10 | 5344180 cnmcdee
cnmcdee's picture

Please! Please! Please!! If only we could be so lucky.  I think the whole US Senate should go give Vinson a big kissing hug and Obama don't stop!! Keeping kissing the nurses!!! Don't give up you can win that inverse lotttery..

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:13 | 5342826 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Alexander O'Neal on Ebola: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJUmUWW4Lv0

An American, not US subject.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:14 | 5342834 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

My sister looks cute in her braces and hazmat suit
A handful of sanitizer in her hair...

[/saturday night's alright for ebola fighting]

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:14 | 5342837 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

2-4-8-16-32-64-128-256-512-1024-2048-4096-8192-16384-32768-65536-131072-262144-524288-1048576-2097152-4194304-8388606-16777216-33554432-67108864-134217728-268435456-536870912- GAME OVER. 

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:20 | 5342890 madcows
madcows's picture

who do we appreciate:  Obola Obola Obola.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:30 | 5342949 BORT
BORT's picture

I would like to see an estimate of how many cases inthe US would overload the system

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 16:02 | 5343147 fightapathy
fightapathy's picture

So far we have 2, and the Obolacare website's crashed six times and Yale New Haven hospital has quarantined itself.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 23:17 | 5345059 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

How many positive pressure treatment rooms do we have in the US?

Last I read, it was only 15 or so.

Fri, 10/17/2014 - 04:40 | 5345440 cheech_wizard
cheech_wizard's picture

Long Pennram, Zeeco, Incinco, and Masterburn...

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 19:12 | 5344195 cnmcdee
cnmcdee's picture

20 we are there now.

GLP has people reporting there are cases all over the place and we are under a media black out at this time. Edmonton, Carolina, Florida, California.

 

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 22:42 | 5344940 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

Count 5 sets over.

And that's the optimist in me talking.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 20:34 | 5344553 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Seasmoke...

 

29 doublings at 21 day doubling rate = 609 days...which is a little over 20 Months.

 

This outbreak started in March of this year. That was 8 Months ago. So now our survival time has diminished to 12 months.

 

We can also garner that it started roughly 230 days ago.  Dividing that by 21 days yields 10.9 Doubling Cycles.

 

210.9 = 1911 cases.

 

But we are well over that reported.

 

Thus one must conclude that the doubling rate is faster than the 21 days reported.

 

So we have a year of survival on the outside...My bet is that it will not last that long.

 

This is not surprising. And I expect that the Doubling Rate will continue to increase as the Differential of an Exponential Function is an Exponential Function. The rate of change of the Doubling Rate is also an Exponential Function.

 

The numbers do not lie. This will not end well.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:16 | 5342852 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I love how these people caveat their research with stateme like " if the outbreak isn't contained". They're flying all over the place you idiot. I think it's safe to say it's not contained.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:16 | 5342854 CunnyFunt
CunnyFunt's picture

"... the risk is in the hospital."
Damn right it is. Go in with a broken nose, and leave in a body bag. Avoid hospitals like this plague.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:49 | 5343077 Smiddywesson
Smiddywesson's picture

Avoid health care workers, dentists, people who cut hair, anyone who deals with the public.  Doctors are the new lepers.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:16 | 5342856 laomei
laomei's picture

please infect india already.  ebola in india would be hilarious.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:18 | 5342881 FredFlintstone
FredFlintstone's picture

Are you picturing a group of scrawny guys gang-raping a girl lying in the street bleeding and dying of Ebola?

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:59 | 5343138 fightapathy
fightapathy's picture

We ARE now, Thank you very much!

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 19:13 | 5344202 cnmcdee
cnmcdee's picture

Dirty Little Monkey...

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=5d4_1409234565

that beautiful moment when Ebola meets Avian Flu...

 

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 18:36 | 5344006 Leraconteur
Leraconteur's picture

...whilst Ebola in China would be just another repeat of the same thing that has happened 20 or 30 times. Collapse of society, rise of war lords, partitioning of the country, starvation, cannibalism.

Fri, 10/17/2014 - 08:35 | 5345849 laomei
laomei's picture

not really, china's very capable of enacting strict quarantine measures, and isn't afraid of issuing travel bans.  china doesn't fuck around with stuff like this.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:15 | 5342860 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

I'm doomed if I stay here.  Ebola is now here.  Time to escape to Wisconsin but I have to go pick up some exterior paint at Menards first and use the rebate coupon I finally received in the mail.  Work still has to get done Ebola or not.

http://www.myfoxtwincities.com/story/26805663/cdc-had-ebola-concerns-with-new-york-to-minneapolis-passenger

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:17 | 5342862 wmbz
wmbz's picture

Obola is completely under control, the head asshole at the CDC sez as long as you follow "pro-toe-call" it's all good. Team Obozo is on the case, just ask yourself what are the odds of complete morons screwing things up?

FUBAR!

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:18 | 5342868 1000yrdstare
1000yrdstare's picture

If Ebola does'nt crush the economy, there is always Windows 10 release...

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:44 | 5343041 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

I'm testing the Windows 10 Technical Preview now.

The start button is back, but the media hub is attached to it like an ugly mole.

At installation it asks you to create a profile using a Microsoft account (Hotmail, Live) which tracks you inside, outside, upside down.

You can create a local non-parasitic profile but it is "not recommended".

Microsoft just can't seem to help themselves.

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:58 | 5343131 centerline
centerline's picture

Maybe the final release will have a retinal scanner required for login!

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 18:34 | 5343990 Leraconteur
Leraconteur's picture

Or one could continue using an older or Linux os...

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 19:21 | 5344230 cnmcdee
cnmcdee's picture

And pretty soon they'll sell laptops without harddrives that are thinclients direct to the cloud where Amazon and all the companies will buy access to your cloud-drive so they can tailor ads for you to buy stuff you haven't even thought of yet.

Fri, 10/17/2014 - 06:08 | 5345509 PhysicalRealm
PhysicalRealm's picture

ebworthen -- you know Windoze10 tech preview has a keylogger in it, right?  I couldn't get rid of that thing fast enough.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/10/07/windows_10_data_collection/

http://thehackernews.com/2014/10/download-Windows-10-keylogger.html

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 19:15 | 5344205 cnmcdee
cnmcdee's picture

Fed's already got a come back plan Obola Bucks... Only accepted at the top 5 main banks or at buying stocks.

They may subcontract Canadian Tire and get them to print for them because their gonna need so many of them, and ask Zaire how the people liked their Trillion Dollar Notes.

Fri, 10/17/2014 - 04:37 | 5345438 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

No so....Windows has had a clipboard since Windows 3.

Awesome!

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 15:17 | 5342871 lester1
lester1's picture

STOP ALL FLIGHT FROM WEST AFRICA NOW !

Thu, 10/16/2014 - 19:20 | 5344217 cnmcdee
cnmcdee's picture

Thats Racist!! We need to double the flights out of the Ebola Outbreak Region.  Especially any sick kids!! Put them in class by our kids it will be wonderful and loving!!

Obama Loves you all!! He even kissed and hugged some nurses!!

The Governemt Loves You!! They would never let it spread out of control so they can bring in Medical Martial Law under a UN Mandate with UN peacekeepers and forced vaccination check points?! No!!!

They would never give billions of dollars to the coming GSK Ebola Vaccine which probably isn't going to work and kill off over 25% of the population! They don't have an agenda to get RID OF US ALL!!

 

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