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“An Unstoppable Zombie Holiday” – Humanity Shudders As America Exports Black Friday To the World

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Because nothing gives "Thanks" like Americans fighting over things they don't need...

Exhibit 1: Doorbuster deals at a Wal-Mart in Michigan City, Indiana, had shoppers literally stealing items from other people’s carts.

 

Things appeared to get a little out of hand Thursday night, as shoppers swarmed the Wal-Mart in Michigan City, pushing and shoving as they fought to grab heavily discounted merchandise.

 

A shopper named Rich grabbed his cell phone camera and filmed as one man tried to grab what appeared to be a home theater system from another man in a Bears jersey. The Bears fan was able to wrestle it away, and get out of the scrum.

 

Some bystanders seemed amused by the chaos, others looked a little frightened.

 

It appeared the scene was about to repeat itself, with a woman as the victim, but she also managed to get away with her prize.

Exhibit 2: 2 Women Fight At Norwalk Walmart Over Barbie Doll

 

Authorities said two women got into a pushing and shoving match — with at least one of them reportedly throwing a punch — over a Barbie doll on Thanksgiving evening.

 

Sheriff’s Deputies has to be called to the Walmart store in the 11700 block of Imperial Highway after reports of the fight broke out.

 

Witnesses said the two women began fighting over a Barbie doll just before 7 p.m.

 

Deputies were able to diffuse the situation and said no one was arrested.

 

Officials also said no one was injured in the altercation.

 

“The whole thing was pretty stupid,” said a shopper named Sonia, “that was very dumb.”

But it's not just America, it appears the UK as caught the post 'Thanksgiving Day'? bug...

Exhibit 3: Girls fight over cheap panties...

 

Exhibit 4: Americans celebrating Thanksgiving in Britain may have felt right at home as Black Friday shopping chaos caused disruptions.

The practice of offering bargain basement prices the day after Thanksgiving has spread across the Atlantic, with some retailers opening overnight to lure shoppers.

Police were called early Friday morning to help maintain security at some supermarkets and shopping outlets that offered deep discounts starting at midnight.

As Liberty Blitzkrieg's Mike Krieger notes,

Greater Manchester Police said two arrests were made and injuries reported as police closed some stores to prevent more severe problems. One woman was injured by a falling television set.

 

The force tweeted “Keep calm, people!” at one point.

 

There were problems in many parts of Britain, including Wales and Scotland.

 

– From the Associated PressBlack Friday Chaos Hits Britain

Black Friday is one of those days when all the hope and optimism one possesses for the future of humanity is threatened by the gross, primal, in-your-face reality. I’ve written about the holiday before, specifically, in the piece, The SDR: The Same Demented Regime. Here’s an excerpt:

The great game is of course the never-ending global struggle for power and dominance.  The current entrenched powers that be have been in their positions for a very long time and they have no intention of giving up that role.  What the moral and decent percentage of humanity need to understand in no uncertain terms is that these folks and their minions have no conscience.  They could care less how many starve to death, get blown to bits in war or waste their lives away in front of the television set watching Snookie on the Jersey Shore.  In fact, I am certain that they totally get off on these things.  Degrading humanity into an animal-like state clearly appears to be their aphrodisiac.  Notice how the media encourages people to go out and trample each other for a $2 waffle maker on Black Friday.  The scenes of people running into Wal-Mart or Best Buy in the early morning hours when they should be at home with their families having conversation after Thanksgiving dinner reminds me of scenes of cattle being shuffled into a sorting pen. 

It was always a uniquely American embarrassment. A day when the rest of the world could smugly and confidently sneer at the their consumption-obsessed, overweight, and violent brothers and sisters abroad; secure in the fact that were distinctly different.

Well, as Bob Dylan sang, “The Times They are a Changin’,” and the highest-holy day of the American religion of consumerism is coming your way whether you like it or not. Naturally, it is gaining its most robust foothold in the United Kingdom. I thought Arriana Huffington summarized it well in the following tweet:

Here are some of the observations from that article:

LONDON (AP) — Americans celebrating Thanksgiving in Britain may have felt right at home as Black Friday shopping chaos caused disruptions.

 

The practice of offering bargain basement prices the day after Thanksgiving has spread across the Atlantic, with some retailers opening overnight to lure shoppers.

 

Police were called early Friday morning to help maintain security at some supermarkets and shopping outlets that offered deep discounts starting at midnight.

 

Some of the worst problems were in the Manchester area in northwestern England where police were summoned to seven Tesco supermarkets after disturbances.

 

Greater Manchester Police Chief Peter Fahy said he was “disappointed” that stores did not have enough security personnel on duty for the after-hours shopping.

 

“This created situations where we had to deal with crushing, disorder and disputes between customers,” he said.

 

Fights broke out at some stores and major websites stopped functioning because of too much traffic as shoppers sought online bargains.

But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. As Glenn Greenwald notes, the Black Friday virus has also infected his adopted home country of Brazil. See below:

 

Think you’re safe in Africa? Think again. Check out this piece from MarketWatch:

NEW YORK (MarketWatch) — Funmi Adeyemi has been saving all year for Black Friday. Since October, she’s been surfing U.S. websites and has picked out $300 worth of merchandise, including Ralph Lauren apparel for her two-and four-year-old kids and shoes from Neiman Marcus for herself.

 

And she’s made her selections from the comfort of home — in the Nigerian capital, Abuja.

 

Black Friday “is when I wait to do most of my shopping,” Adeyemi said. “I can buy everything in one day. I buy whatever catches my eye and whatever is the right price. It’s a big thing here and has gone viral. A lot of people are waiting for (U.S.) Black Friday sales.”

 

The 32-year-old project manager is waiting until Friday to see what discounts she can get before placing final online orders. And she’s a pro. This is the fifth Black Friday that she has spent shopping for U.S. deals from Nigeria with the help of mobile shopping app, MallforAfrica.

 

Major U.S. retailers do not ship directly to Nigeria, so MallforAfrica acts as middleman, shipping the goods bought on U.S. websites to the West African country. MallforAfrica CEO and founder Chris Folayan, a Nigerian who lives in the U.S., said there has been a spike in signups to the app in the past two days.

 

And Adeyemi and her fellow Nigerians aren’t alone. While Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving that traditionally kicks off the U.S. holiday shopping season, may be losing its sizzle in its home market, it’s gaining ground overseas.

 

“We’ve certainly exported the Black Friday madness to the world,” said Borderfree CEO Michael DeSimone. “It’s become a big shopping day around the world. We don’t just see (orders) from Canada and Australia but also the Middle East and China.”

Here’s a billboard from Nigeria:

Screen Shot 2014-11-28 at 11.58.37 AM

Just in case you needed further proof that the religion of consumerism knows no borders.

 

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Fri, 11/28/2014 - 17:50 | 5497585 FreeShitter
FreeShitter's picture

Going to be one hell of a freakshow ...fuck prepping time to ge the fuck outta here!

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 17:46 | 5497575 djsmps
djsmps's picture

If zerohedge keeps posting tweets of article links to the Huffingtonpost, you'll not only lose all credibility, I'll quit following this. The Huffingtonpost represents yellow journalism at its worst.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 17:52 | 5497588 jiggerjuice
jiggerjuice's picture

Reddit repost commencing in 3, 2, 1... Then they link OP's source link to the article rather than the Reddit link to look more legit sourcy. 

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 17:55 | 5497601 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

HuffPo aint nuthin - Tyler posted from the Daily Mail the other day.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 18:31 | 5497663 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

Early last century, when I had a Paper Round (in the UK we were introduced into the "Workforce" early in Secondary school . . . .), the Daily Mail was one of the most popular Dailes.

Then the Sun came out (with the "Page Three" content), and it was noticeable how many changed from Mail to Sun.

Most popular Sunday paper (we delivered 7 days a week, all weathers . . . .)?? -  News of the World, with Sunday People in second place.

Out of my 120 or so customers, only ONE household had the Times (weekly and weekend), for which I was very grateful indeed!!!!

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:29 | 5497853 walküre
walküre's picture

At least people were READING something then....

We're going downhill faster. Every new "upgraded" version of "smart"phone is expediting the downfall.

If TPTB were to arrange for a greater culling, who could really blame them?

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 23:03 | 5498244 The9thDoctor
The9thDoctor's picture

If zerohedge keeps posting tweets of article links to the Huffingtonpost, you'll not only lose all credibility, I'll quit following this

Instead of threatening to quit, just quit.

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 06:37 | 5498684 elegance
elegance's picture

It is hard to quit this GRU-sanctioned propaganda.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 21:33 | 5498135 Ward no. 6
Ward no. 6's picture

well at least she said Zombie Holiday

right on, right ? !

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 17:52 | 5497586 Q-Q-Q
Q-Q-Q's picture

Presented without comment.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 17:55 | 5497600 bidaskspread
bidaskspread's picture

Thunderdome!!! Break a deal spin the wheel.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 17:57 | 5497604 Nexus789
Nexus789's picture

Imagine what it would be like if they can't get the basics like food. 

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 18:38 | 5497611 smacker
smacker's picture

WOW...in yer face debt-fueled consumerism. Doncha just luv it ;-)

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 18:06 | 5497617 Karaio
Karaio's picture

It makes sense.

The higher unemployment more TVs on sale.

In the crisis of 1929 unemployed packed libraries.

hehe.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 21:23 | 5497622 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

To think, we won major world wars to protect this type of raycist friday.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 18:24 | 5497656 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

What am I doing on Black Friday? Well, working! It's a standard weekday for me. As far as I can tell, the only people who can afford to camp in front of stores and chase deals today are the unemployed.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:00 | 5497764 Bumbu Sauce
Bumbu Sauce's picture

Hope you got double-time and a half like I did.  I used to work T-day and the day after(both holidays) before the economic crapout.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 18:26 | 5497660 quietdude
quietdude's picture

Watch carefully folks, the USSA is circling the toilet bowl for the third time. We traded our freedoms for some Fucking Chinese plastic, and the bill will come due shortly :-(

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 18:30 | 5497667 Karaio
Karaio's picture

"Users of social networks complain of possible false discounts during Black Friday in Brazil. The main complaint of Internet users is related to" prices of makeup. "In social networks, many claim that the Brazilian event Products are sold" at half double "the original price.

The social and the #blackfraude #blackfridaybrasil hashtags are popular among netizens, who created many memes to mock the date. "

link:

http://economia.terra.com.br/black-friday-brasil-vira-meme-tudo-pela-met...

It's what I always say, if you want to screw up something, bring to Brazil!

Neither the Italian Mafia escaped!

hehe!

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:25 | 5497843 smacker
smacker's picture

Nothing surprises me in Brasil. R$25 for a small scraggy sandwich and R$15 for a cafezinho in São Paulo airport (GRU) is the tip of the iceberg. It's a wall-to-wall rip-off and one of the world's most protected economies. But it is a socialist country, so one cannot expect anything better.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 18:46 | 5497707 TalkToLind
TalkToLind's picture

I was told the longest line in the mall was filled with 12 - 56 year old girls waiting to get into Pink (Victoria's Secret), LOL.  As a guy I can assure you I would NEVER wait in line with a bunch of other dudes just to buy a pair of drawers.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 18:48 | 5497726 Dre4dwolf
Dre4dwolf's picture

As a guy I can tell you that honestly, we wonder sometimes why we even own underwear.

^^

 

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 20:10 | 5497951 Equality 7-25-1
Equality 7-25-1's picture

You aren't moarman. The undies give you magical powers. The history of those undies predates judaism... ahura mazda

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 20:33 | 5498018 TalkToLind
TalkToLind's picture

Temple garments at Pink...LOL!  That's funny right there, I don't care who you are.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 21:31 | 5498133 Ward no. 6
Ward no. 6's picture

lol

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 18:52 | 5497710 Dre4dwolf
Dre4dwolf's picture

Yea , enjoy your discount on a 4 year old tv thats been marked up 300% and then marked down 50%.

Americans...make me sad to be an American sometimes.

 

 

Sometimes I feel like the banksters make up these stupid events like Black-Friday so they can make fun of how stupid we are as an average.

 

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 18:45 | 5497711 walküre
walküre's picture

as the US corporate kleptocracy goes global, so does the matching consumer craze

for our sanity and to show that not all humanity is lost, please show us pictures of orderly and calm citizens perusing the malls and shopping streets of Moscow

 

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 18:54 | 5497721 Arthur Schopenhauer
Arthur Schopenhauer's picture

Black Friday 1983 vs. NOW  <iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/623Oga9NPvE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

(Sorry I can't figure out how to embed a video).

 

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 20:26 | 5497990 TalkToLind
TalkToLind's picture

Nothing is wrong with your code;  I think the Tylers have to grant some special magical powers for that to work.  Heck I want to embed stuff too, they should hook a brother up.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 21:28 | 5498126 Ward no. 6
Fri, 11/28/2014 - 21:27 | 5498122 Ward no. 6
Ward no. 6's picture

u have to disable rich- text to make it work

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 21:57 | 5498158 TalkToLind
TalkToLind's picture

Thanks but it's not working for me, Word #6. I disabled rich-text and then embedded an image in this comment with html but it got stripped from the page.

Sat, 12/06/2014 - 23:14 | 5525083 Ariadne
Ariadne's picture

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 18:49 | 5497724 reader2010
reader2010's picture

subhuman beasts!

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:05 | 5497777 silentsock
silentsock's picture

Idiots all...

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:04 | 5497779 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Custom Fathead® Graphics - fathead.com‎

Dead Can Dance - Amnesia

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:06 | 5497782 yellowsub
yellowsub's picture

The day that epitomizes excessive consumerism is still alive and well...

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:10 | 5497788 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

To think, I stayed home all day today. Did not want to, nor feel like going anywhere. I will be going out for dinner this evening though. Same restaurant I always go to, same time. 

My five year old flip phone still works, don;t need no "smart phone", because all they do is dumb you down.

Have 50 inch LED tv, rarely ever even bother to turn it on, since all I ever see there is fucking commercials.

All my vehicles are paid for, not replacing a one of them. Keep them tuned up and in excellent running condition, don't need no new vehicle and the payment that comes with it. 

No credit cards now, nor ever. 

Happy Thanksgiving to the lot of you losers. LOL  ;-)

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:11 | 5497796 kowalli
kowalli's picture

THis is why they are debt slaves...I need more money for bigger tv, for bigger car,for bigger house, so i will borrow more money. You lose freedom when you have debt.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:13 | 5497806 yellowsub
yellowsub's picture

On this day, there's some reprieve from all that.  However you have to literally fight for the heavily discounted crap...

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 20:00 | 5497929 Flamin Rhoid
Flamin Rhoid's picture

I am the working poor of Merika.I earn $12.50 as a maintenence specialist in a hotel in a small resort town.

Today I went to my LCS and bought 9oz. of silver bullion.If I can afford it,these plebes suerly can.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:11 | 5497797 nakki
nakki's picture

Sad thing is its not just the US. Its humanity, because in reality we're all just a bunch of fuckin chimps.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:16 | 5497816 bunnyswanson
bunnyswanson's picture

You got that right.  On local TV news, the broadcasters annouce sales, give updates to TV shows and encourage the masses in sublimal messages to get with the program (shop, watch, do what we tell you) or be a freakish degenerate with outdated electronics. 

The sales these people are after are worth going to the store for, the problem is there are not enough items on the shelf for everyone, so the fight begins.  It's taunting and daunting all at the same time.  Priced to buy if you get there first.

You would think local leaders, Chamber of Commerce, would encourage responsibl advertising, but nowadays, everyone is "in it for the money."

This is a failure of leadership.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:16 | 5497818 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Chimps don't cut each others heads off. Although certain Chimp packs have been known to eat members of other invading packs to assert dominance.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:14 | 5497805 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Didn't spend yesterday, nor Black Friday. Go panic over Edward Bernay's economic forecast.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:15 | 5497807 Iam Yue2
Iam Yue2's picture

Progress.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:25 | 5497840 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Collective Progress. Crony liberalism style.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:23 | 5497831 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

70-80% off on Christmas sales will be Hilarious. Dump inventory to break even.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:25 | 5497846 walküre
walküre's picture

exhibit #3, the white dude is a brave guy.. there is hope maybe.. but then again, what is he doing there in the first place? shopping for panties as well? who knows anymore for sure?

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:27 | 5497848 Solio
Solio's picture

It is a pathetic life that is taught to the children. Shame!

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:28 | 5497849 DipshitMiddleCl...
DipshitMiddleClassWhiteKid's picture

In americans defense..they are so tapped out and so hungry for nice things that days like today are actually worth it to them cause they dont got the $$ for most of this shit any other time of the year.

 

ya heard'

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:47 | 5497896 bardot63
bardot63's picture

NICE THINGS AT WALMART?

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:37 | 5497870 Karaio
Karaio's picture

Here it's probably more fun than trying to pile discounts:

http://www.unclaimedbaggage.com/

hehe.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:41 | 5497877 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  If you want to throw on your body armor and fight the Ebola infested masses at "Best Ebola" have at it.

  Any rational person knows you aren't going to get the "Internet Deal" unless you're a fucking cyborg plugged into Skynet®

  I bought (4) 24" LG Hi Def monitor TV's for my trading station. I Paid just over $500.00 usd for the transaction. Shipping is free and yes I paid sales tax on top of that figure.

   These TV/Monitors retail for 240-250 $usd. I did my due dilligence and know they're reliable, and from a reliable company.

 Now I can hammer all you Z/H brainiacs into the ground with vivid detail. I've got a beautiful new trading station, and I can run (1) simple HDMI cable to everything for Hi Def TV.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 23:18 | 5498272 mkkby
mkkby's picture

Wow, you are so smart.  Trading over a slow internet connection after the HFTs have picked you clean and left you watching their stale orders.  But at least is looks pretty on your new tv.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:47 | 5497892 Statetheist
Statetheist's picture

"Because nothing gives "Thanks" like Americans fighting over things they don't need..."

Who the fuck made you the god of deciding what different people need and don't need?

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:46 | 5497893 bardot63
bardot63's picture

One day, maybe soon, gift giving at Christmas will no longer be.  The givers aren't the  Three Wise Men, and the recipients are nowhere near Messiahs.  At one time it may have been a wonderful thing to give loved ones gifts at this time of year, but I haven't seen the wisdom in it for many years.  Except for gifts to little children, who would rather have the box it came it. 

If Obama and his Islamic army have their way, we'll just do away with Christmas altogether. And if that came to pass, none of the brain dead morons in these videos would understand what happened to their scalps. 

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 20:46 | 5498050 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

"Mom, can we go see Santa Mohammed?"

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 11:52 | 5498965 css1971
css1971's picture

You know that the only thing Christmas has to do with Christ is the name... Right?

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 19:50 | 5497907 bardot63
bardot63's picture

I cannot imagine who in his right mind or any frame of mind would want to touch those skanky hides those cheap panties will end up covering.  I get choking shudders just thinking of it...

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 20:06 | 5497923 koan
koan's picture

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 20:00 | 5497928 Ginsengbull
Ginsengbull's picture

There should be a "White Friday", when nobody buys anything.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 20:07 | 5497943 rickv404
rickv404's picture

"Just in case you needed further proof that the religion of consumerism knows no borders."

 

You say that as if it were a bad thing. If people can get a bargain, more power to them.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 20:26 | 5497997 walküre
walküre's picture

Fuck, are you stupid? The shit is marked up 1000% to begin with. It's made in slave labor land China for the most part and our folks are beating each other up over shit.

Bargain.. gimme a break. Let me guess, you got a bargain on your education as well.

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 11:50 | 5498957 css1971
css1971's picture

Walmart has a 25% gross profit margin. That is 25% of their revenue is profit. Add in costs, taxes and it's about 4% profitable over all.

They might well have marked up item X by 1000% but it means they're subsidising other stuff substantially.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 20:45 | 5498044 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

One of those asses I saw needs some Really Big Panties.

Probably a Kardashian.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 20:07 | 5497945 Racer
Racer's picture

Exports junk food and now 'black friday'

more like 'black eyes friday'

US stop being the world's bully, stop killing people, stop exporting fake food, just plain STOP

 

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 20:09 | 5497948 Romanov
Romanov's picture

Shame on you for mindlessly consuming… you mentally enslaved morons going deeper into debt that you will soon regret… spending money you don’t have on things you don’t need.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 20:20 | 5497981 Leraconteur
Leraconteur's picture

I am a huge music fan, and I have been since 1970.

I was excited when I could buy music at the Columbia Record Club and get them shipped to my house and listen to LP's. I bought LP's.

I was excited when 8-tracks came out and I could listen to music without having to flip the LP. I replaced my LP. with 8-tracks.

I was excited when cassettes came out and I could play music in a portable music player. I replaced my 8-tracks with cassettes.

I was excited when CD's came out and I could play music repeatedly without getting up to flip the cassette. I replaced my cassettes with CD's.

I was excited when 1, then 2, then 3, then 4th generation improvements in digital sound improved the sound of CD remasters. I replaced my CD's 4 times.

I was excited when 128bps MP3's came out and I could store so much music on a computer. I replaced my CD's with the MP3's.

I was excited when 320bps MP3's came out and I could store so much music, with higher sound quality, on my computer. I replaced my MP3's.

I was excited when FLAC lossless encoding came out and I could store CD-audio level quality music on my computer. I bought FLAC of all my MP3's.

I was excited when HiDef lossless encoding came out and I could store better than CD level quality music on my computer. I bought HD of all my FLAC.

Then I heard an HD rip of a vinyl LP and realised that the vinyl sounded as good or better than the HD.

Now I sold all my HD gear, and go to garage sales to buy old vinyl that I play on an analogue, tube valve, stereo system. No home theatre, no 5.1, 7.1, 9.1, 11.1 speaker set ups. People who know me constantly tell me ''You need a new phone"" ""Phones are disposible"" ""Phones need to be replaced each year"" ""You need a bigger screen"", and I tell them that they are financially foolish.

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 01:38 | 5498502 falconflight
falconflight's picture

We have cheap cell  (dumb) phones w/ no contracts, a 32 inch TV that is a CRT, yes but it's a flat screen! and after 20 years just replaced my Pioneer reciever, which now I'm one high yella with my promotion from 2 to 7 channels. Whooa

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 12:06 | 5498961 edifice
edifice's picture

You, sir, need a laser turntable. The base model is a cool $16k, going up to $20k. Each is handmade to order, in Japan. Watch the promo video to the end; he plays a 45 containing Red October. :)

http://www.elpj.com

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=W_4sooWCh_Y

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 20:23 | 5497993 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Humans do this on Black Friday.

HFT algos do this every day.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 20:40 | 5498030 Oswald did it
Oswald did it's picture

How dare these people go out shopping for holiday gifts on their day off. Purchasing gifts for children and loved ones...it makes me sick!

I say crucify them!

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 20:53 | 5498063 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

In 5 years they will dump that electronic crap for what they almost risked their lives.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 21:00 | 5498075 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Black Friday is a Sexually Transmitted Disease.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 21:04 | 5498082 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

Hard to believe our species is on the verge of WW3.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 21:39 | 5498143 FreeShitter
FreeShitter's picture

Im 44 and have seen this coming for many, many years.

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 01:29 | 5498496 bid the soldier...
bid the soldiers shoot's picture

Maybe we'll become extinct first.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 21:05 | 5498086 LoneuhRanger
LoneuhRanger's picture

I fucking hate myself right now.

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 01:23 | 5498485 Solio
Solio's picture

Whudja buy?

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 21:22 | 5498113 Panic Mode
Panic Mode's picture

For some people, there are reasons why they are poor.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 21:26 | 5498124 FrankieGoesToHo...
FrankieGoesToHollywood's picture

Black Friday.  My favorite Southpark episode.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 21:34 | 5498138 california chrome
california chrome's picture

Same sheeple who voted for iShit in the White House showing off their genuine side today.

Consumption makes the USSA tick.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 22:02 | 5498174 BeerMe
BeerMe's picture

next up Small Business Saturday presented by Chase

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 22:22 | 5498198 Incubus
Incubus's picture

Ah, the pinnacle of humanity.

 

Take it in folks.  Two thousand fucking fourteen.

 

This is it.

 

Wonderful, ain't it?

 

(where's my fucking gun, I need to shoot myself through the mouth and heart and brain)

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 22:31 | 5498203 Hamm Jamm
Hamm Jamm's picture

SAD how easily people are Manipulated into acting like fools !

 

WAKE UP !

 

 

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 23:02 | 5498242 Circle of DNA
Circle of DNA's picture

A bunch of hippo looking humanoids fighting over worthless pieces of plastic…Exceptional nation indeed – saviors of the world. Even the CIA enhanced ebola shouldn’t be wasted on these genetically challenged creatures…Pathetic.

 

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 01:54 | 5498247 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Conversation between two Irishmen:

Friend No 1: You can't have everything

Friend No 2: Why not?

Friend No 1: Where would you put it all?

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 23:10 | 5498250 European American
European American's picture

Blacks Friday.

 

On the other hand, take Wal Mart out of the equation and this rabid, materialistc violence is cut down, 90%.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 23:38 | 5498323 Bryan
Bryan's picture

I did pick up 2000 rounds of .22 ammo at Field and Stream --- and at a sale price.  At least I got that going for me, which is good.

Fri, 11/28/2014 - 23:51 | 5498350 IronForge
IronForge's picture

Just wait 'til KSA makes a Oil Dumping Binge on top of the current Surge!  People will be fighting over each other over unreasonally cheap Gas, while the higher cost producers and USA Shale-mongers bite the dust en masse.

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 00:27 | 5498406 macambaman
macambaman's picture

Disgusting and depressing.

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 00:44 | 5498427 Bubba69
Bubba69's picture

Thar she blows - Land whales at  Victoria's Secrets - likely blows, but I digress.

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 01:55 | 5498515 DeusHedge
DeusHedge's picture

i <3

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 00:50 | 5498437 blindman
blindman's picture

are there refined and interesting new exemplars of
stupid and despairing? is america the source of that
problem? oh, .....
it goes well beyond that. go figure.
america, what is that? no one will report on that,
honestly, could they?

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 01:26 | 5498488 Solio
Solio's picture

Ahhh....  Burp!

It don't get no better than this!

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 01:31 | 5498497 falconflight
falconflight's picture

I submit that the governing elities, our luminaries are an accurate reflection of these 'shoppers.'  

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 01:52 | 5498512 DeusHedge
DeusHedge's picture

sigh...
UK is all about the dvds...
Africa needs new shoes...
and brazil is laughing their asses off, just like ZH.
But, isn't sovereignty the heart of the great experiment? It is. For those who don't know what I mean, just check out how Southern Russia, the far east outside of China, and others are doing. It is for these that they will go to war, and it is these that we, the fat, greedy, plutocrats must leave outside in the cold.

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 01:57 | 5498521 Solio
Solio's picture

Forces are hard at work to make people shallow and insipid everywhere- and now it's all on sale!

Get yours before they all run out now, ya hear!?

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 02:08 | 5498527 DeusHedge
DeusHedge's picture

Decentralizing the heart
The world you were born in must have been plutocratic

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 02:19 | 5498536 backwaterdogs
backwaterdogs's picture

wow...it literally is black friday

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 02:35 | 5498552 ross81
ross81's picture

someone needs to tell the overfed female baboons that cut price lingerie will really not cure fat and ugly.

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 11:39 | 5498926 edifice
edifice's picture

Hair-Hatted-Hooligans...

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 02:49 | 5498559 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

How does it feel getting outwitted? Rolling out new free shit is going to make you like a ponzi playing monkey running crook.

Dashing off with the shoebox of cash headed out to agroithm Wall Street fucknobs, boosting Janet 'captain kangaroo' Quantitative Easing elevation.

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 03:09 | 5498569 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Your sociopolitical banking mind ends with a high velocity bullet. Derivatives go bye,bye.

End to the means of the premeditated counterfeit money printing end. Nice knowing you. Blessings wanker. 

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 03:29 | 5498582 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Clean up this mess. If the nigger speaks, throw him into the basket hoop. 

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 04:31 | 5498617 basho
basho's picture

you are doomed. disgusting.

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 08:12 | 5498724 Comte d'herblay
Comte d&#039;herblay's picture

Don't make the mistake of generalizing what you see in media presentations of america.  There are far more of "us" than there are of  "them".

What you are witnessing is aberrational behavior by a fraction of our people. 

The tip of the iceberg is what they represent.

That goes for all the rest of the 'productions' of media.  

Exceptions, not representative of the whole. 

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 11:34 | 5498910 edifice
edifice's picture

There are 4,344 Walmart stores in the United States (excluding Sam's Club) . If each store is filled to capacity with the kind of people that participate in the Black Friday consumerist holiday, then this represents a sliver of the poplulation. If you extrapolate further and include all retailers on Black Friday, then this represents far more than a sliver and shows clearly the systemic problems we face.

Sun, 11/30/2014 - 18:04 | 5502437 Comte d'herblay
Comte d&#039;herblay's picture

Many of the same people who do the consumer thing go to the other retailers as well.  The customers, I would bet, are not unique to each brand.

A lot, mostly in fact, of overlap.

 

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 04:55 | 5498629 One Eyed Jack
One Eyed Jack's picture

I have often wondered to what degree that these events are staged initially for the crowd to witness. Both as a means to build frenzy and to further reinforce this psychopathic consumerist behavior,

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 11:40 | 5498923 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Look in the Temp. Help Wanted ads for "Grossly overweight negros, preferably with bleached hair, wanted to pose as screeching maniac Wal Mart shoppers to excite the crowds. Apply at your local DHS Center before November 26. Free 3X size Spandex pants for accepted applicants"

 

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 05:56 | 5498662 GreatUncle
GreatUncle's picture

Black Friday for a reason?????????????????????????????????????

I just see Xmas sales brought forward so when Xmas finally comes around in a few weeks the sales are poorer.

The other observation is that all places like Walmart need to be made to declare their import taxes because most of this shit is not made here so how much do they pay in import taxes in a year?

Now allow the ordinary citizen globally under free trade purchase directly from wherever they want no import taxes and watch all the supermarket chains fold. The manufacturer of goods can then charge a little more suppying directly to the population with increased profitability whilst the cosumer has a pernament saving but crushing the supermarket giants who ...

... destroy supplier profitability (maximising profit one side) then fleecing the punter (on the other side).

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 06:10 | 5498668 germanycalling
germanycalling's picture

Anyone else notice that it seems to be mainly blacks doing all the fighting ?

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 12:54 | 5499118 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

That's what's called a hate fact.

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 07:05 | 5498692 didthatreallyhappen
didthatreallyhappen's picture

democrats in action

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 09:37 | 5498784 Solio
Solio's picture

Merry Consumitmas! Merry, merry Consumitmas!

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 11:22 | 5498884 edifice
edifice's picture

Kwanukkahmas, man. Kwanukkahmas. 

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 10:04 | 5498804 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Rick Perry, start reversing laws and then receiving donations. Don't get things ass backwards as a hired servant. Get to work. 

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 10:12 | 5498808 p00k1e
p00k1e's picture

Since these shoppers must be poor and desperate for these deals, how do they pay to operate and maintain this equipment?   

Flat screens need an Internet connection to work. 

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 11:20 | 5498879 22winmag
22winmag's picture

motherfuckingfreeinternetforwelfarefolksuniversalservicechargewillgetyoueverytime

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 10:50 | 5498842 cassotto
cassotto's picture

'our universe' is soooo smalllll

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 11:20 | 5498877 yearight
yearight's picture

Aren't those last year's pictures ?

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 11:21 | 5498882 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

I'm thinking that I'm going to be disappointed by the death numbers of this Black Friday Sales day.

I've always enjoyed them in the past, but I don't see that energetic will to die for a sale this year. The bright side of the tapped out American consumer is now the ritual sacrifices to the Retail Gods is going global so we can expect those numbers to rise.

I get choked up by the willingness of the few to die for the benefit of the collective society. The Retail Gods must be appeased and I don't give them much to chew on.

The Dollar store now provides my annual 2 tins of Real Danish Butter Cookies. You have to watch out though, because 2 years ago I got gypped by cookies made under license in Mexico. That probably filled my nutritional need for rat feces for the whole year in just those 2 tins.

When you can't trust even the Danes for cookies, you know that the collapse of modern civilization can't be far away.

 

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 11:27 | 5498894 no more banksters
no more banksters's picture

"... the father of Public Relations, Edward Bernays, using the theories of his uncle, Sigmund Freud, will transform America of the Twenties into a huge experimental laboratory of mass consumption. It is the birth of the man-consumer or homo consumericus."

http://failedevolution.blogspot.gr/2014/01/how-western-societies-lost-th...

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 11:31 | 5498903 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

I don't begrudge anyone that wants to shop on Thanksgiving as I do like to watch football on Thanksgiving but the violence is nonsensecal.  I also don't understand that if you are protesting violence against black people in Ferguson, why you would loot and burn down black owned businesses.  Idiocy is plentiful in the world.

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 11:55 | 5498970 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

I think it would make a great alternative veiwing experience for those who don't watch football.

Watch the Walmart Hunger Games where hundreds go in but only one will come out with a full shopping cart.

I'd even stay awake after turkey for that.

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 11:43 | 5498934 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

They have a bad case of Herpe$ $implex $

America's brand of goodwill that is a disease and will kill the rest of life as we know it if it isn't stopped by everyone else outside our borders!

 

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 12:50 | 5499101 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

"Think you’re safe in Africa?"

Er, no.

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 17:18 | 5499686 Reptil
Reptil's picture

exhibit #3 ... girls?
they look like rampaging hippos

Sat, 11/29/2014 - 19:46 | 5500022 Otto Zitte
Otto Zitte's picture

Arianna Huffington needs to be sued

Sun, 11/30/2014 - 06:19 | 5500997 dreadnaught
dreadnaught's picture

lol, at least they wont be lining up for ZUNEs or Windoze 8

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