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US Department Of "Baffle With Truth" In Just Two Quotes

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Confused? You are not alone...

ISM's Nieves: "services in strong uplift in recent months"

 

Markit's Williamson: "moderating growth in the service sector is a sign of domestic demand weakening... services collectively growing at a much reduced rate"

Trade accordingly...

 

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Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:33 | 5512475 PartysOver
PartysOver's picture

OK,  Which one has contacts or affiliation with any gov't agency.

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:39 | 5512504 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

No..  Give them each a loaded 50 caliber muzzle loader pistol, take 20 paces away from each other and fire!

Fucking idiots.

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 12:06 | 5512641 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

Of course! It's the Schroedinger Economy!

"It's a great time to buy OR sell a home!"

http://ochousingnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/z_nar_propaganda_2006.png

It's a great time to buy or sell stocks!

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 14:13 | 5513323 KnuckleDragger-X
KnuckleDragger-X's picture

Things are going well, just don't open the box....

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:29 | 5512476 The Merovingian
The Merovingian's picture

 LIES ... the new truth!  And the algos are eating it up.

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 12:02 | 5512618 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Baffle the American people with bullshit - it's the Chewbaca defense:

Chewbacca defense

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwdba9C2G14

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:30 | 5512482 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I reject Markit's reality and substitute ISM's version of reality.

 

Sincerely,

S&P 500

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:41 | 5512510 indygo55
indygo55's picture

At the very end of the Markit piece it reads

"Price pressures have meanwhile fallen, meaning

policymakers can enjoy a ‘goldilocks’ scenario of

robust growth and low inflation, providing greater

leeway to hold off with raising interest rates.”

Anything to keep from raising rates. 

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 12:04 | 5512628 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Yes, but unfortunately, a period of "robust growth" always has high/increasing interest rates historically.  So I don't see how that memes helps the oligarchs.

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:31 | 5512486 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

Don't know how much more of this Good News i can take.

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:40 | 5512511 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Hooray! Lets jump off a cliff together!

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 12:08 | 5512648 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

"You'll be whistling Zippity Doo Daa out of your assholes!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eRtv-d8k6g

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:33 | 5512489 Dungholio
Dungholio's picture

If you push something hard enough it will fall over -  Fudd's First Law of Opposition

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:32 | 5512490 madbraz
madbraz's picture

why not show us the names of the people interviewed and their contact information.  why not double check to see if it's real or rigged, right?

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:37 | 5512497 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Oh, the surveys are real.  It's what's done with the data before you see the results that's where the monkey business happens.

You don't think they just add it up and divide by the number of people surveyed, do you?  Oh, no no.  They do a lot of other special statistical stuff to normalize the data, apply seasonal adjustment factors, etc.  It's like.... math stuff.  And math is hard.  Better we don't know how the process actually works.

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:48 | 5512546 Bollixed
Bollixed's picture

Let's not forget the 'dart board modifier'.

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 12:04 | 5512633 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Mark Twain:  "There are three kinds of lies:  lies, damned lies, and statistics."

At the end of my second statistics course I knew enough to manipulate any data set to get the results I wanted.

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:35 | 5512495 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

In GUBBY we trust, NOT!

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:36 | 5512500 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

The wonks never heard of him or his video confessions.  They continue to point to CBO numbers to prove their positions.

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:34 | 5512496 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

They're bookies, cover both sides and clean up with the vig.

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:38 | 5512501 Bell's 2 hearted
Bell's 2 hearted's picture

King Dollar having a good day

 

DXY hit 89 earlier ... trading just under now

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:37 | 5512502 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Just define your audience.

I would think only one of these guys "represents" a group, such that any glimmer of hope is magnified through a prism of positive bullshit. The other might be a bit more open since he "represents" a group that would have to act on information such as this. Thus he would be a bit more pragmatic, not to mention honest.

Too much sunshine, not enough open honesty. Just walk around your neighborhood and evalaute what is going on. Check out the shops, the stores, the people. I don't get a good feeling about things.

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:40 | 5512507 auntiesocial
auntiesocial's picture

here's another story ZH'rs should jump all over- The FDA can force mandatory calorie counts for the little guys and food chains, yet they are scared shitless... or on the dole... to tell Monsanto to label their GMO's...

HELP A MOTHERFUCKER UNDERSTAND.

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 13:24 | 5513019 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture
Study Shows Dramatic Correlation Between GMOs And 22 Diseases


Millions have marched against Monsanto urging labeling or the banning of GMO products. There is a  national consensus in favor of labeling but the government has been unable to respond. Indeed,  President Obama's food czar is a former Monsanto executive. The deep corruption of government is putting the health of the American people at serious risk.

The research highlighted below, "Genetically engineered crops, glyphosate and the deterioration of health in the United States of America," was published in  The Journal of Organic Systems this September and links GMOs to 22 diseases with very high correlation. We reprinted many of the graphs from the study that show an incredible correlation between the rise of GMO crops that use the herbicide glyphosate and a wide range of diseases.

http://www.fooddemocracynow.org/blog/2014/dec/2-2?utm_medium=twitter&utm...

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:39 | 5512508 Bell's 2 hearted
Bell's 2 hearted's picture

these "soft" surveys are a joke

 

riddled with survivor bias ... need to be in existence to respond 

 

surveys sent to shuddered businesses are Lost In Translation

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:45 | 5512530 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Better still, I can't believe that the media keeps pushing the "a falling Yen is good for Japan, but a falling Ruble is bad for Russia" meme...

fucking idiots.

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 12:03 | 5512622 ShorTed
ShorTed's picture

An excellent point.  The Russians may be re-enforcing the perception by trying to (rightfully) defend the Ruble.

At least the Russians understand that impoverishing their people is no way to grow their economy.

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 12:05 | 5512643 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

The cognitive dissonance is even worse if one is to consider the DEBT of the japanese government compared to the DEBT of the Russian government. 

ECON 101.  If you have low debt, deficit spending really isn't a problem.  Even better, Russian exports just got a whole lot cheaper for China and Iran.

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:49 | 5512544 luckylongshot
luckylongshot's picture

The desperation that is evident  in the elite now having to falsify pretty much all the US economic data is getting ever more extreme. The problem is that it has got so bad that now everyone knows what appears in the MSM  is unreliable. The tipping point must be close....time to short everything but gold!

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:50 | 5512554 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Yet,

Homeland Chief Unable to Explain How Executive Amnesty Helps Americans.

Brussels directive steering committee for Global Governance must be shitting their pants.

/LOL

 

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 12:09 | 5512653 semperfi
semperfi's picture

"When it becomes serious, you have to lie"
-- Jean-Claude Juncker

And everything is now a lie.

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 14:16 | 5512654 SweetDoug
SweetDoug's picture

'

'

'

I think they've reprogrammed the 'chomskybot'.

 

Nobody believes anyone anymore.

 

•?•
V-V

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 12:13 | 5512669 mastersnark
mastersnark's picture

So...buy straddles?

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 12:17 | 5512696 Pumpkin
Pumpkin's picture

When you are deep into the business of lies, it is really hard to keep shit straight.

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 13:23 | 5513014 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

Eddie's in the spacetime continuum.

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 13:42 | 5513118 CaptainSpaulding
CaptainSpaulding's picture

According to the book of cool terms, "Confused " was 2013...'"Its complicated" is 2014

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 13:48 | 5513173 mendigo
mendigo's picture

Things are improving in a moderated fashion at the margins

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 14:27 | 5513394 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

Lie Harder with a Vengeance 67

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