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Government May Shut Down At Midnight Due To Last Minute Cromnibus Vote SNAFU

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Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:33 | 5541450 holdbuysell
holdbuysell's picture

Promise?

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:39 | 5541460 Ruffmuff
Ruffmuff's picture

Shit cheap gas, and bonus. Bring it.

Actually shutting down is not that great, as having those assholes shutting the hell up. Go fucking hide in a septic tank or something more useful, for a change I can believe in.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:39 | 5541469 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

What a lovely holiday gift - joy to the world!

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:41 | 5541473 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Government shutdown = 95% to real productivity, efficiency & GDP

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:55 | 5541537 pods
pods's picture

Somebody pinch me.

Wait, nevermind, I don't wanna wake up.

pods

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:58 | 5541552 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

How can there be a shutdown?  Don't we have unlimited ceiling?  Someone help me understand this.

 

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:07 | 5541578 Just Take It All
Just Take It All's picture

ceiling = limit on borrowing

budget = limit on spending

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:22 | 5541644 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Crucial services such as White House tours will grind to a halt. Can you imagine? You're in DC for some reason and someone in the group says, let's take the tour. You are slightly uncomfortable, but think it might be neat to stand where Jefferson and Washington did. So you're in there and Shazam!!! It pops out into the hall. There is nothing but 20 feet of air between you and the Wookie! We would scream like girls and have to live with it the rest of our lives.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:44 | 5541728 Creepy A. Cracker
Creepy A. Cracker's picture

Yeah... Government shutdown = 83 percent still on the "job."  The 17 percent who were told to stay home will get paid for that time without having to take vacation or sick leave.  It's a bonus vacation for 17 percent of government. 

Government employees are the true 1 percent: They make more than their private sector counterparts, get more vacation than their private sector counterparts, never have to fear being laid off, and many have multimillion dollar pensions (with health care) after sitting at a desk for 20 to 30 years, harassing the people who pay for their salaries and benefits.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 18:07 | 5541813 PT
PT's picture

"Shut down" = the part that is useful shuts down.  The part that costs you money stays open.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 21:36 | 5542450 max2205
max2205's picture

Who said Burn this bitch down?

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:57 | 5541546 nuubee
nuubee's picture

Even during shutdowns... the most expensive parts of the government don't shut down.

  • Interest on the debt still gets paid, so the treasury stays open.
  • Defense still needs to pay attention, so the DoD and many contractors stay open.
  • Goods still need to be imported, so Customs stays open
  • Congress has to flap it's junk in front of the camera, so the legislature stays open.
  • The President might stop golfing during a shutdown, but it remains to be seen.

 

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:15 | 5541607 ThirdWorldNut
ThirdWorldNut's picture

Billion dollar question is - Can the shutdown still be used to justify lower than expected Q1 2015 GDP print? Or will the experts have to keep looking for the reason? 

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:19 | 5541625 gatorengineer
gatorengineer's picture

the fact that there was weather is reason enough.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:26 | 5541658 ThirdWorldNut
ThirdWorldNut's picture

I have been thinking something exotic, here goes:

The start of Day Light Saving on March 8th, led to significantly reduced consumer spending on 9th. Ergo low Q1 GDP of -3%. Adjusted for Day Light Saving seasonality, Q1 was up 5%. 

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 18:30 | 5541882 edotabin
edotabin's picture

Isn't that stat weather dependent?

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 20:39 | 5542296 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

The last time they shut down I had a copyright application disappear down a black hole along with my $35.00 fee.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 21:37 | 5542456 max2205
max2205's picture

Yeah, but Fed Employeecritters got full pay for shutdown days....

Win Win

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 22:33 | 5542629 jerry_theking_lawler
jerry_theking_lawler's picture

Even during shutdowns....when people go back to work, they get paid fully for all time (even during the shutdown).

 

Isn't this just paid leave?

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:41 | 5541476 froze25
froze25's picture

I wish this was good news I really do but I think they will just pack it with Moar pork.  Those Undocumented Democrats need some cheddar.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:43 | 5541489 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

And summer sausage, don't forget the summer sausage.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:57 | 5541529 The_Dude
The_Dude's picture

Taquitos....mas taquitos, por favoooorrrr!

 

It's a human right, dontcha know.....

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:40 | 5541713 JRobby
JRobby's picture

IRS efile window opens late again? What about all those $9k EIC refunds?

Oh no!

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:41 | 5541483 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

I hear ya,

  but it only helps if they STAY shut down.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:52 | 5541516 MarketTruth
MarketTruth's picture

JOB OPENING: FREE PAID VACATIONS
Work for the US Gov, enquire within.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:51 | 5541517 MarketTruth
MarketTruth's picture

.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:57 | 5541545 mr1963
mr1963's picture

AKA, gooberment "workers" want a paid Christmas holiday...

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:34 | 5541451 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

What?  Did the crony bus blow a tire?

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:39 | 5541472 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

Maybe it hit a Boehner that was thrown underneath it.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:35 | 5541453 Eagle Keeper
Eagle Keeper's picture

Who gives a shit....

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:42 | 5541492 SHEEPFUKKER
SHEEPFUKKER's picture

<--------------------- shut it down

<--------------------- burn it down

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 18:46 | 5541938 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

<- Shut it down & burn it down

<- Just burn it down

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:37 | 5541695 Magnix
Magnix's picture

I do give a shit to get my income tax check!

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:52 | 5541755 Armed Resistance
Armed Resistance's picture

You do know that filing taxes is voluntary, right?  I learned this during the IRS hearings...

Join the club of peaceful resistance.  Just say no!

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:57 | 5541776 Magnix
Magnix's picture

Im broke and need $$$ to pay off my debts and move on stacking up with peace in mind!

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 18:09 | 5541815 rayduh4life
rayduh4life's picture

Exactly Eagle Keeper!  Who gives a shit.  You're all going to get fucked either way.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:34 | 5541454 Glass Seagull
Glass Seagull's picture

 

 

AKA, "Pelosi needs to buy your fucking AAPL and ES positions before snaking your asses at 11:59pm"

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:40 | 5541479 Ruffmuff
Ruffmuff's picture

Let me know when pelosi buys her coffin at costco. That would excite my middle leg.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:35 | 5541455 realWhiteNight123129
realWhiteNight123129's picture

if only it could shut down for good, and then auction out the buildings... I can´t wait to go to a Chinese restaurant in the building of the White House.... 

 

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:35 | 5541457 Oldballplayer
Oldballplayer's picture

Do I give a shit? Wait a sec... Let me check.

Nope. Can't find a shit to give.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:35 | 5541461 dbystrowski
dbystrowski's picture

I guess they need more time to read the bill?

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:36 | 5541462 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Will this be a real shutdown or just another paid vacation like the last time?

Details matter.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:46 | 5541498 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Paid vacation with bonuses.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:49 | 5541506 Ruffmuff
Ruffmuff's picture

yep, just likethe auto plants , gotta retool for new tools coming in as congresscritters.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:49 | 5541508 GoldenGeezer
GoldenGeezer's picture

No "extraordinary measures" this time either huh?

What happened with the black congressional staffers and their Ferguson walkout protest today? Looks like it might be a 4 day weekend.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:36 | 5541464 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Oh noez! Gubmint, i dont care how or what you need to do, just please please save meh!

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:44 | 5541493 froze25
froze25's picture

Wow they really want that pipeline.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:38 | 5541466 franzpick
franzpick's picture

Oh, please don't throw us in the briar patch. What a disgraceful, corrupt charade we have...

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:37 | 5541467 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

It's a dream come true then.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:41 | 5541475 10mm
10mm's picture

Last minute thrills and spills.Then its passed.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:40 | 5541477 Gunga
Gunga's picture

Shut the Feral government down and keep the bitch shut down

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:40 | 5541480 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

They drove the cromnibus straight into a ditch....now eat your peas...and get your shovels ready. 

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:42 | 5541490 Eagle Keeper
Eagle Keeper's picture

If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding!!!!

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:41 | 5541482 valley chick
valley chick's picture

There IS a Santa!

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:42 | 5541484 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

So, let's review:

Funding off, nothing gets done as opposed to NOTHING GETS FUCKING DONE ANYWAY.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:53 | 5541527 Ruffmuff
Ruffmuff's picture

What yo talking about Willis, they get many things dung. All the dung things they dung are dripping all over. "hey, that smell"

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:46 | 5541494 replaceme
replaceme's picture

Question:  If the government is shut down while all its employees are taking holiday party lunches and leave, do they have to retake those when the government opens up again? It IS that time of year - I'm sure employees on vacation are already worrying about whether or not they'll be wasting leave.  Which they would be, I think.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:46 | 5541497 F.A. Hayek
F.A. Hayek's picture

Go ahead and shut it down. The only people who will notice are the geriatric veterans trying to pay their respects at a national monument somewhere.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:10 | 5541590 Bunghole
Bunghole's picture

The MSM will show some poor SillyCON Valley families Christmas riuned by not being able to go to the lodge in Yosemite for their annual snowmobile jamboree.

The Horror!

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:47 | 5541500 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

Shut it down for good.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:50 | 5541505 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

What does a Govt shut down actually entail?  Mr Owhatever sitting in the dark in his office?  HDDs offline in Utah?  Is it even possible for them to do less work?

We don't have govt shutdown in my country - it just goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on....

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:17 | 5541620 mastersnark
mastersnark's picture

Is it even possible for them to do less work?

 

Hahahahaha. Made my Thursday.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 19:10 | 5542035 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

Does watching online porn at home count as working from home for .gov employees?

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:48 | 5541509 p00k1e
p00k1e's picture

Government agents will still get paid.  The ‘symbology’ is ridiculous.  

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:53 | 5541511 TheRideNeverEnds
TheRideNeverEnds's picture

 I remember the last time they shut it down, they spent more money shutting it down and opening it up while squalking loudly the whole time about how the world would end without the full force of the US government.  Then they went out of their way to make the shutdown actually matter to anyone by putting up blockaids at monuments and stationing guards to keep people out of parks.    

 

After that the S&P went straight up for a couple years and a thousand points or so, if anything this is bullish.  

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:53 | 5541526 Eagle Keeper
Eagle Keeper's picture

That would actually help Christmas, er ah, Holiday retail sales. Less people in DC, more at the stores.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:56 | 5541536 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I was beginning to think that I was the only person who remembered all of the work it took government to "shut down" the last time, as all they did was to kidnap "public property" while negotiating terms for  release of the hostages.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:13 | 5541603 F.A. Hayek
F.A. Hayek's picture

I can see it already. The next shutdown will be marked in the gov't ledger as 'optimized sunk-cost expenditures.' I.e. using the surplus national park shutdown signage and crowd control barriers they stocked up on last time. Forward!!!

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:54 | 5541524 foodstampbarry
foodstampbarry's picture

Smoker tan will ultimately fold like a cheap lawn chair to King O. All theater.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:57 | 5541547 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

So is the folding to the alleged king. Neither of these men have any real say in what goes on in the world. They are but hollow suits for hire within the facade.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:06 | 5541581 hootowl
hootowl's picture

But they sold their souls to the wrong people.  It wouldn't be so bad for us, if they would have sold their souls to the right people.  Geez!!!

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:53 | 5541530 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

Breaking:  Congressional staffers walk off the job in support of Michael 'bitch slap' Brown and Eric "loosey" Garner.

 

I have officially lost my mind.  

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:52 | 5541752 JR
JR's picture

In September: "The Daily Beast asked spokespeople for House Speaker John Boehner, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell what percentage of their staffs were minorities.

“Only Pelosi’s office originally responded with a figure: 33 percent of their staff consists of people of color, including senior staff positions like chief of staff, member services director and “

"After this story published, Reid's office told The Daily Beast that 30 percent of their staff consists of people of color.”

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/09/30/why-are-black-staffers-fleeing-capitol-hill.html

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:58 | 5541549 vote_libertaria...
vote_libertarian_party's picture

Come on...we all know their definition of 'gvt shutdown' is 'parks and monuments'.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 16:59 | 5541556 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

"Government May Shut Down At Midnight Due To Last Minute Cromnibus Vote SNAFU"

A better headline: "War, and Treason May Abate Some Come Midnight, If Only For a Short While."

An American, not US subject.

 

This just in: "Greater Israel Says That They Will Maintain the War Tempo Until the US Returns."

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:01 | 5541561 F.A. Hayek
F.A. Hayek's picture

We are about to witness the narrative for a new slack Christmas economic report season - Polar Vortex 2.0 and a government shutdown put a damper on otherwise stellar economic indicators. More folks got laid off, and durable goods orders were down because it was really cold somewhere.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:06 | 5541580 Otrader
Otrader's picture

Dec 26th normally a work day declared federal holiday for federal workers but not the contract personnel. 

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:07 | 5541586 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture

AIPAC is open 24X7 and that's all one needs to know.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:09 | 5541591 OldE_Ant
OldE_Ant's picture

god damn ANOTHER PAID FURLOW for govt workers. 

 

fuck this shit make them work until govt reopens or lose their jobs.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:12 | 5541597 nobodysfool
nobodysfool's picture

What difference does it make?   Really...

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:42 | 5541715 TalkToLind
TalkToLind's picture

National parks would close and monument tours would be cancelled.  Think of the children.  THE CHILDREN!

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 18:08 | 5541812 corporatewhore
corporatewhore's picture

I'm ready for Hillary /sarc/  

How about you?

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 21:25 | 5542416 tarabel
tarabel's picture

 

 

Someone around here once mentioned that if we were ready for Hillary, we were sure as hell ready for Ebola.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:21 | 5541635 JR
JR's picture

Unless those House members who are voting against this measure resign their office now and go home, then their opposition is meaningless. If they are going to sit there after this and support the leadership and just say they voted against this bill, that’s not enough.

If the leadership of both parties is now under the total control of the banker cartel, then Congress no longer is fulfilling its Constitutional responsibility for representing the people of America.

If a Congressman replies I opposed this from the very beginning and worked against it, What else could I do?, answer, Stop pretending to represent your constituents with your “losing” vote. The people, if you notice, always fail on every important issue that's in their interest by only one or two "votes."  IOW, the leadership, confident of its vote count, will allow the No votes in districts where there would be a tremendous backlash against a renegade Congressmen. But, if those Congressmen would leave office, the whole country would know the significance of the issue, namely that the tyranny of the bankers has become unacceptable. And unacceptable means it will not be accepted.

This vote is for all the marbles: socialized medicine so vast that it will sink the personal liberty of every American (funded Obamacare), job and culture destroying amnesty (funded welfare and anmesty through September by not shutting down the government), and treasonous theft of the people's property through the derivatives measure and blackmail through campaign financing. If these measures are not important enough for an American Congressman to do his duty to his country, then he is a traitor to the American people.

We're not asking these Congressmen to fall on their swords. All we're asking is, Be an American. Do something with your life. The sincere opponents to this measure could serve the country by underscoring just how worthless the Congress has become.

Can’t we all see that these votes come directly from the banking cartel? The Congress, it comes down to it, is an enemy of the people.  Unless a dramatic walkout by sitting Congressmen occurs it now appears that the country can only be saved by an action of the people. In NO WAY can the people allow these politicians to bail out these bankers again by raping the people.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:31 | 5541676 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

There goes the banker survival packages...were the POs signed?

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 17:54 | 5541766 Gort
Gort's picture

So... literally ONE federal worker will be fired, Michelle will unscrew one light bulb on the White House Christmas tree and, of course, Honor Flight veterans in walkers and wheelchairs will be (rudely) turned away from their closed memorials.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 18:16 | 5541841 Spungo
Spungo's picture

Republicans: The democrats caused the market crash!
Democrats: The republicans caused the market crash!
Yellen: LOLOLOLOLOLOL 

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 18:18 | 5541843 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Quick, set up those barricades around the Washington Mall.  Ask for IDs and only allow people that have no ID or a foreign ID.  I'll be able to play 36 holes a day until this thing is resolved.

-Signed O

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 18:23 | 5541861 surfer433
surfer433's picture

How can we take advantage of this crisis and do something to some folks?

 

 

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 18:24 | 5541865 bankonzhongguo
bankonzhongguo's picture

Please. Please!

Shut the fucking government down.

Maybe there will be less crime, corruption and gross negligence for a small while.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 18:26 | 5541873 Golden Showers
Golden Showers's picture

This will be our chance to privatize everything.

The corporation, having closed before, and perhaps closing again, is in default and dishonor to all it's citizens.

When the corporation goes dark, I claim the railroads and the EPA. They will be my toys. I called it.

Furthermore, I expect that none of my federal taxes will be withheld while the America is dark.

I also expect that any contracts entered into with the corporation of America are desolved.

This is Public Notice.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 20:58 | 5542341 countryboy42
countryboy42's picture

As long as I can have the BLM, you have my vote. I fucking hate the BLM.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 21:21 | 5542405 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

I claim NASA, I will kick out the moon-worshippers and return to the Moon!

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 19:48 | 5542134 WorkingPawn
WorkingPawn's picture

Interesting that this time it appears to be the left wing of the Democratic party joining forces some the fiscally responsible Republicans to block the bill.  Obama and the Republican house leadership are actually working together to get this thing passed...hard to fathom.

Elizabeth Warren appears to be leading the Democratic rebellion...I assume if it the government shuts down at midnight she'll get the blame?

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 19:54 | 5542152 Fred123
Fred123's picture

Applause.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 19:58 | 5542166 WeTheSheeplez
WeTheSheeplez's picture

During the last government shut down...wasn't it just one young white guy that got layed off...

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 19:59 | 5542173 q99x2
q99x2's picture

See them government boys are like the police that pepper spray themselves. The trick to gettin rid of them is not to protest but only suggest at a little revolt and they'll take care of the rest on their own.

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 21:17 | 5542391 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

(cia hq)

"Bad news, Jim, but we're letting you go-- budget and all."
What, Leonard? After everything I've done for the Company? You replacing me with one of those Mexicans?"
"No, a fish."
"Hey I can swim. SCUBA, too!"
"Sorry, Jim. Orders."

http://hamptonroads.com/2014/12/navy-spy-fish-could-be-operational-next-...

Thu, 12/11/2014 - 21:49 | 5542495 Duc888
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