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And Now, Expert Financial Advice From Jessica Alba
In a world in which neither the Fed, nor the sellside (Goldman was forecasting $100 oil for years to come as recently as October 29), and certainly not tenured economists have any idea what lies beyond the next corner, perhaps the best place to look for financial answers are Hollywood celebrities such as Jessica Alba. So, in our pursuit of truth, financial answers and the Hollywood way, we give you... Jessica Alba.
Yes, the shapely artist alternatively known as Cash Money, was at yesterday's DealBook conference sharing deep insight. Why? Because among all the other ridiculous capital misallocation opportunities presented to West Coast venture capitalists in recent years thanks to the Fed, her diaper delivery startup, Honest, launched in 2012 and which is unbelievably valued at $1 billion, is preparing for its IPO as reported previously.
Here, courtesy of DealBook, is what she had to say:
1. “I appreciate being an actress now more than ever, because being in business is so stressful.”
Credit Thos Robinson/Getty Images For New York Times
2. “Board meetings are so long.”
Brian Lee and Jessica Alba are co-founders of Honest Company.Credit Andrew Renneisen for The New York Times
3. Raising money is “like pitching a movie all the time.”
Credit Andrew Renneisen for The New York Times
4. “My 30-plus-page deck got condensed into a 10-page deck, with a lot less words, a lot more pictures.”
Credit Andrew Renneisen for The New York Times
5. “I had this idea of this brand where people could really outsource their trust.”
Credit Andrew Renneisen for The New York Times
6. With a movie, “it’s not like your whole life is hanging on this thing. With a business, your whole life is hanging on this thing.”
Credit Andrew Renneisen for The New York Times
7. “We don’t test our products on animals. We test our products on our kids. And on ourselves.”
* * *
Finally, for all those who would rather watch rather than listen, here is the 21 minutes clip of Jessica Alba explaining why all one needs to be valued in the hundreds of millions, however briefly, is stunning good looks, B-ish grade Hollywood celeb status, VCs with ridiculous amounts of cash to burn, and the biggest equity bubble in history. Oh yes, and an idea involving excrement.
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I heard derek jeeter gave her the herps. You guys can have her
I love herps. I had numerous snakes and even a 4 foot Nile Monitor.
pods
Did he give her the onset of "turkey wattle neck" also? Or is that caused from too much sucking, not enough blowing?
Keep talking I'm almost there !
My office now looks like an Elmer's glue factory exploded in here...
I need an IV and some rest.
BOOOYAH!
i'm sold ... where do i send money?
on her hands and knees with her dripping flower blossom in my face is worth, at least, a coupla hundred million dollar investment.
She's hot, who cares.
Another jew mutt ( another name for the "hunting list")
wow.
sad to see such a beautiful woman reduced to being a poster child for a diaper company.
she must have lost all the money she made on her movies?
wow.
sad to see such a beautiful woman reduced to being a poster child for a diaper company.
she must have lost all the money she made on her movies?
- second post by some click latency error (or the gubment hacks watching my machine)
no.
I wasn't trying to emphasize my sadness.
The Frog will do whatever it takes Jessica. I am here on bent frog leg. I love you. Marry me.
Come blow me baby!
Open your legs. Profit.
She is an impressive person and our world is better because of her and others like her.
Imma gonna skin me a three bagger off that IPO.
I'm all in.
Yup. That's what I'm gonna do.
I don't know who the Chinese guy is but he must be a douche because he is sitting next to two other douches. I thought Alba was a little cutie until she started spouting about how great BHO is back before the slide to third worldism really got going.
Just the tip... Honest....
She's worth $200MM, the internet is always true, isn't it?
http://www.celebritynetworth.com/richest-celebrities/actors/jessica-alba-net-worth/
"your whole life is hanging on this thing.”
Her whole life had ALWAYS hung on that 'thing.'
She used to call me all the time bitching and moaning about Hollywood.
I finally had to change my cell phone #.
I think she could get a bigger IPO by including a pair of her used panties with every $1M purchase.
Wait 'till she gets a load of her unwanted business partner "Uncle Sham"
Get back to me.
She has no fucking idea what SKIM and GRAFT mean, .......she'll learn fast.
Comment threads like these make life worth living.
I wonder if I could eat her pussy?
Three blue pills later, 4 bottles of Founders Dirty Bastard ale and I'd glue her eyes shut with throat yoghurt. Wait 'till she sees my angry inch!
I'd let her fuck me if she asked me nicely
Don't look...
What
Color
Are
Her
Eyes?
Look at every photo in the chain.
Celebrities branching out into other stuff, you know, besides Hollywood. Hollywood has been in a bear market since Napster came out. 25% of Hollywood was fired in the last 2 years. It'll be but a windswept desert tourist attraction/ruin in 10 years. Remember rock and roll? Remember movies with original plots? They can't make them any more.
The smartest thing I ever did was give up on my Hollywood dreams and move to Taiwan.
I have two friends in bands in California. One, his song is becoming the theme song to a TV show on CMT. He STILL isn't making more than he's spending. He's still technically an amateur!!
I mean, how many people are going to starve to death, because their parents told them "Never give up!" Is there a way I can save their lives, and not crush their dreams?
Better than Tony Robbins's advice. At least she isn't giving out some stupid investment advice.