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Complexity Of Fed Message Resumes Rising: FOMC Words Increase From 707 To 734

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Just when you thought it was safe to assume The Fed had any kind of handle on things, they ramp up the confusion level and generate more words than last month to explain their machinations. Though well below the peak confusion levels of September, we hope the trend is not rising again...

 

 

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Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:16 | 5564178 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Yes, but how many syllables?

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:18 | 5564207 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

don't worry Granny shit for brains will blather even more in a minute......that'll really scramble the sheep's brains

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:20 | 5564232 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

No, it's the number of dangling participles multiplied by the square root of split infinitives that really counts most!

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:25 | 5564259 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

Steve Liesman will straighten it out for us if he can pull the dick out of his fat mouth

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:26 | 5564272 Pinto Currency
Pinto Currency's picture

 

 

 

How do I explain this
I mean how do I put this into words
It's one thing or another
But it's neither this nor that
Actually, it's a collection of things
She said, "That's it, that's it, get out"

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:39 | 5564362 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Peak Bullshit!

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 16:49 | 5564795 Pinto Currency
Pinto Currency's picture

Oh yeah.

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:22 | 5564242 KnuckleDragger-X
KnuckleDragger-X's picture

The new Seinfeld... A speech about nothing.... It just amazes me that they can be so vague, so much and get away with it so often.

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:27 | 5564277 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Funny, I don't know if I've ever heard her voice.

Hell, the only reason I ever listened to Bernanke's was for the tell. Between his voice cracking and his lip quivers, the man couldn't lie to save his life.

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:16 | 5564187 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

How many folks will be affected by these words?

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:22 | 5564215 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Roughly 7.2 billion. Actually, provided we avoid WWIII, we are looking at 50+ billion when you look generations out.

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:23 | 5564248 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Not once you account for the increased sterility from living a "modern lifestyle."

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:24 | 5564262 KnuckleDragger-X
KnuckleDragger-X's picture

Everybody will be affected. It will depend on which end of the bending over your on whether it's positive or negative.

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:19 | 5564197 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

so moar then? :shocking:

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:20 | 5564201 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

That's a long winded way to say "Party on bitchez! The tab is on the next generation".

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:20 | 5564211 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Is there a 3X derivative to trade on that statistic?

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:22 | 5564246 rccalhoun
rccalhoun's picture

GS ultra long

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:20 | 5564218 rccalhoun
rccalhoun's picture

goldman couldn't have penned the fomc minutes better

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:21 | 5564237 hwwesq3
hwwesq3's picture

What makes you think Goldman didn't pen the minutes???  They usually do.

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:21 | 5564240 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

They did.

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:28 | 5564287 rccalhoun
rccalhoun's picture

i think citi did

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:23 | 5564247 suteibu
suteibu's picture

It takes more and more bullshit these days.  As words increase, credibility decreases (not that they had much to begin with).

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:24 | 5564251 Spungo
Spungo's picture

Yeah but what happens when you condense the numbers?
707 = 7 + 7 = 14 = 1 + 4 = 5
734 = 7 + 3 + 4 = 14 = 1 + 4 = 5

So it's really the same number

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:24 | 5564253 Captain Willard
Captain Willard's picture

The original Federal Reserve Act was just 32 pages. By the end of QE, Yellen's statements will be 33 pages.

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:23 | 5564257 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

FOMC meeting = time for a gold smackdown overnight!

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:26 | 5564266 Glass Seagull
Glass Seagull's picture

 

 

Isn't that a bullish indicator?

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:27 | 5564283 Just Take It All
Just Take It All's picture

Pathetic.  Mr. Yellen lacked the balls to completely remove the phrase "considerable time," opting instead to refer back to it so as to satisfy the silicon based readership.  Just pathetic.

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:41 | 5564364 B2u
B2u's picture
“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”  Robert McCloskey
Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:41 | 5564384 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Let Inthemix help with those complex machinations my FOMC friends, rather than baffle the proles with bullshit, and I bet twenty quid its less than 734 words you cunts.

For a start you bought and paid for fuckers are bent, you lie continually about everything, everything you say is a lie filled with convolution and mis-direction, thanks to being bought and paid for whores of the corrupt cunts who run the show.

Second, just like the top brass who run banking and politics, there is a ton of strange owned by the likes of GCHQ and NSA on your collective arses abusing children.  Thats how they keep you in line eh?

Third, you think of only yourself and yours first, you never give two fucks about the common good do you?  You're all right Jack, pull the ladder up, just nothing but selfish greed with the NSA latched onto your corrupt balls, making sure you do as you are told you filthy pieces of shit.

Forth, 734 words is a few by a stretch to explain to folks who know, that everything they have ever known is a mother fucking lie, from health, education, finance, politics, and the fucking worse than bent media, that the only thing that is of any constructive use they can do is to hang you fucking child molesting bastards like the dogs you are.

You want to get straight with whoever you fucking pray to cunts.  Dogs coming....

Cunts.

;-)

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 15:43 | 5564394 Rearranging Dec...
Rearranging Deckchairs's picture

Comeon people ! How could anyone have expected anything else?

 

They can't raise rates, but they can't admit that either. All they can do from now on is keep things the same and baffle you with more bullshit. Until things tank again and then QE foreva! 

 

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 17:34 | 5565149 blindman
blindman's picture

drool, drool in my ears. i can't drink it.
i fower shaweel like i need a shower.
happy holidays anyway. tea leaves, tossing bones,
incantations and rolling stones.
.
The Rolling Stones - Neighbours - Official Promo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omGDmvNWLVw

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