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The Charlie X Solution
Like other members of the sane world, I have been disturbed and distressed about the latest doings of the religion of peace, as Islamic nut-jobs terrorize the gentle citizens of Paris with murder and mayhem. As a writer myself, I feel strongly about the need for uncensored speech, and to see these members of what surely must be the universe's most psychologically-insecure religion slay satirists is deeply saddening.
And yet on Friday morning, the solution came to me in a shot. And, as with most good solutions, it comes from no less a place than Star Trek: The Original Series. Hear all now my idea:
The pilot episode of Star Trek was called Charlie X. Purists will argue that The Cage, with Captain Christopher Pike (and an oddly emotional early version of Spock) was the pilot, but, sorry, Kirk is the man, and they had to recycle the Pike episode into a two-parter later, so......shove it. It's Charlie X.
Anyway.
Charlie has taken over the Enterprise, and near the end of the show, Kirk finally decides what to do about this teenage menace: he turns on every single system the ship has. Spock and McCoy, on Kirk's orders, flick on every switch the bridge has, causing much beeping, buzzing, and booping. Kirk correctly assumes that Charlie can't handle the massive swirl of activity, and faced with all this pressure, he is effectively incapacitated.
And that, my friends, is what we need to do about the demands from the Muslim world that no one dare print images of the Prophet. My suggestion? Everyone print the images. Every. Body.
What I'm suggesting is a worldwide, coordinated effort among every magazine, newspaper, tabloid, scandal sheet, high school newspaper, and blog on Earth. On a given day (or for a given week.........or a given year.........let's see how long it takes) completely saturate the world with the Prophet (peas be upon him). Cartoons. Line drawings. Illustrations. Photoshopped exposes. You name it.
These pictures don't need to be obscene or pornographic. From what I understand, even flattering images (such as, I dunno, Muhammad sitting on a golden throne with rainbows and unicorns in the background) are considered blasphemous. Let your imagination run wild.
The problem with the handful of brave departed souls at Charlie Hebdo is that they made themselves an easy target. No one else had the gonads to stand up against terrorist threats (and I suppose I can't blame them). And don't give me this schtick about not wanting to offend a group: nobody gives a flying crap about respecting the beliefs of these clowns. They just don't want to end up with a bullet through their brain. The political correctness is just a front for self-preservation.
So pull a Charlie X on these guys. Give them not one target, but tens of thousands. Show them that the world of free speech is not going to be cowed into submission. Hell, balance things out with a worldwide mockery of Jesus, Buddha, and Moses for all I care. I'm a lifelong Christian myself, and every media outlet on the planet could show Jesus hanging out in a gay bar tongue-kissing Andy Dick, and I couldn't care less. It doesn't affect my beliefs, and it certainly isn't going to compel me to hurt anyone. (I also have the added advantage of not being a latent homosexual, which, errr, seems to be a bit of an issue with some of these bearded chaps. But I digress).
The question, of course, is where leadership will come from. Who will stand up and set the date? Obama? Ha! Ha ha ha! Oh, that's rich. This is a man who's afraid of his own shadow; he's not about to take a stand (particularly a politically incorrect stand). It'll have to be someone else.
Will this ever happen? I suppose not. But I at least wanted to toss the idea out there, because I think an impossibly diffuse target would drive radical Islam to the point of madness, perhaps to the point where they can focus on more important topics, such as the bitterly-dividing point as to whether the Prophet shaved his armpits or not (and, no, I'm not making this up). Until then, let us keep the sacrifice of the brave staff at Charlie Hebdo in mind. They were, after all, the real martyrs.
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FUCK ISLAM
Fuck Allah and the prophet he rode in on.
I'll second that....
Islam is the world's Ebola.
Bigotry is the world's Ebola.
FIFY
Alternatively, how about the West affording Moslems the same rights and privileges to practise their religion here that the goat-fucking ragheads pulling the strings in Riyadh give to Christians at the home of Mecca? Basically, fuck all and worse.
CuttingEdge- your statement- "Alternatively, how about the West affording Moslems the same rights and privileges to practise their religion here that the goat-fucking ragheads pulling the strings in Riyadh give to Christians at the home of Mecca? Basically, fuck all and worse."
We are so perfect aren't we- the U.S.- beacon of the free world. Get a grip- this country is as crooked as the rest of them. We do our killing abroad. What's the difference? We let people practice what they wish here and kill their relatives back home. Nationalism is just as destructive as religous zealots.
Last body count I believe shows the West hands down the leader. Murder is murder- the borders are irrelevant unless of course you are using terrorism on the home field to shore up support for a fake war.
Critical thinking is pretty important- how many more tax dollars do you wish to invest in this travesty. Looking the other way or worse yet cheering your government on killing people- and realize there are far more innocents killed than the West's branded terrorists is not smart using any rubric.
One day the goats will have their revenge!
For now it's "attack via Big Mac and the soda jerk." As of course it has been for decades now. "People want chicken." That's the bottom line.
What's killing the human race (and this site) is "bombardment by advertising." I swear to God every living creature will commit hari kari if they have to listen to one more Geico as.
Have you tried installing Ad-Block Plus?
Works for me.
Great idea. To launch it off, get Bill Shatner to do a parody show "The Trouble With Trislums"
Of course doing this might motivate the Jihad to hijack a Russian nuclear submarine and launch all the ICMBs.
You really think any of them are that smart ?
Yeah, their brothers via Abram, the ones with the beanies. Remember, Moses's jihad (struggle) was against the desert. A computer system, still sand, is so much easier to manipulate.
Charlie don't surf.
I proposed the same idea on CBS.com when that newspaper in Denmark published those "blasphemous" depictions of the Prophet. How many more have to die before the "free" press sez enough? These thin-skinned Muslims can't possibly riot for an entire year, so let's put their "religion" in the pillory of public opinion until they relize the futility of trying to fight the rest of the World!
Here, read this:
http://boingboing.net/2015/01/07/all-you-need-to-know-about-ter.html
Be sure to click through to the comment section ... and watch the videos linked from there. Or try to watch them, as they have been censored.
Remember how everyone stood up for Matt and Trey back then? Neither do I. What happened to Charlie is sad, but your belief in free expression may be a bit misplaced.
I stood up for Matt and Trey. I wrote to CC and told them how cowardly they were for not standing by the creators of one of there most successful shows. I still boycott those D-bags.
Content blocked by Viacom, already.
So much for free speech.
Thank you that was my point. Hypocrisy regarding free expression.
Viacom wasn't losing any money to piracy there, because Viacom never shows those episodes. So the economic loss to Viacom was $0. Therefore the only reason for asserting copyright was to censor the material.
You may insult people and cultural groups as long as they are people 'we' don't like.
In a local pub you may exercise your freedom of speech rights and insult and denigrate friends, neighbors and strangers, but be prepared for the consequences.
Well played.
-Chumblez.
I wonder if Content Block is why we can't get video China Blue here in the States?
I saw the whole thing overseas. Here is just like a half hour or hour of the tame stuff. China Outsourcing Censored?? It was about a 15 year old girl who gave up school in the country at her home to move to a Factory, where she didn't get paid for all the hours she worked, frequently got ripped off on hours worked, had little time to eat or rest time, had to work all night sometimes after a long day shift to complete the contract for Blue Jeans. 2-3 weeks pay was held back forever as a deposit. No holiday pay, no weekend pay, no night time differential, no education, shared room, dorm style, no kitchen only bunks, no money for medicine when she got sick...
Maybe equip the media and train them in the use of AK-47 or similar so that they might have a good possibility of ending an attack such as Charlie Hebdo quickly and with far less loss of life.
Same philosophy for teachers in schools.
Never rely on the police. They are most efficient at taking reports after you are dead. SWAT is just a murderous killing team and always too late. Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.
I think you should read this: https://firstlook.org/theintercept/2015/01/09/solidarity-charlie-hebdo-c...
http://removingtheshackles.blogspot.com/2015/01/transpicuous-news-paris-...
Thanks for the link. Excellent article.
No. Just, no.
+100 somaplease
Allow me to expand on this sentiment.
So much for diplomacy and mutual respect. This furor over a "satirical" magazine that makes bathroom stall graffiti look like fine art baffles me. I can read the headlines, and this is not The Exiled. Charlie is agitprop of the lowest sort. Remarkably so; it makes Hustler mag look sophisticated. Not that I believe for one second all the spin around this. A professional masked commando hit; the usual suspects rounded up and terminated without trial. Too easy, but it seems this is what we've come to.
This hysteria, and this Tim Knight asshole's attempt to escalate it, is just more agitprop to get the left side of the bell curve riled up.
"Charlie X"? Are you serious? No, really.
I've known many muslims and spent 2 months in Oman back before it was opened to tourism. Part of their culture is being kind and generous hosts, and they strike me in general as being more thoughtful and capable of thought than most of the christians I've met. What's being villainized in the msm is not Islam, but the psycho militias the West has created. They get armaments and generous funding and training, etc. ... who would be surprised that they also got alllll the methamphetamine that they need. Jacob's Ladder.
Tim. Tim, Tim, Tim. Stop insulting us.
If you don't like material the solution is simple. Don't read it! For me I will continue to call Islam out for what it is- a threat to modern civilization.
"continue to call Islam out for what it is- a threat to modern civilization."
?????
Four hundred million deaths by government in the 20th century, mainly by the West, and the US leading in killing in the 21st.
Your ingroup morality is riding roughshod over whatever abstract logical thinking you may possess.
Try not to think emotionally - it makes you stupid.
Governments are a net drag on modern civilization for the most part. I suppose you believe in sharia law? Good luck with that sack of shit and stay on your own fucking side of the planet please.
Nice non sequitur, amateur.
I am Chumbawamba.
Modern civilization has proven to be corrupt and decadent. Jihadi hate for modern society is not a sufficient reason to side against them. They provide plenty of reasons to be hated on their own merits.
What you are saying is like preferring nazis over soviets or vice versa.
By modern civilization I'm talking about the part that advanced us past wiping our asses with rocks and chopping someones head off etc. Governments and cronie capitalists can go to hell as well.
Bullshit.
In Saudi Arabia if a woman gets into the drivers seat of a car she will be arrested. If she has an affair she will be stoned and gang raped.
This religion is from the Stone Age , it's worse than the Spanish Inquistion.
In Nigeria they are burning down schools that teach girls and kidnapping them to be sold as sex slaves to muslim men.
Don't even get me started on Quatar or anywhere else. Women are treated as dogs / slaves. Not allowed to read / write , if a woman wants to be a musician she would be beaten to death in most muslim countires.
This religion if from the dark ages and belongs only in the history books.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wahhabism
Thanks for the diplomacy and mutual respect. You are a scholar.
And you'll probably take that as an insult, unless you look it up, then you'll just be confused.
When a bully comes into your neighborhood or town and demands that you change the way you live, you are morally permitted to take up arms to repel the invader. The law of the American western movies.
Does that apply to bullies who are exceptional?
Thus informing the less culturally astute among us that Islam, like any religion, is subject to the cultural bias of the people who practice it. Thus, things like female genital mutilation get ascribed to Islam just because a bunch of backwards tribes in North Africa that practice Islam engage in such barbarity. Or how women not being able to operate a car in Saudi Arabia is because of Islam, and not because of the customs of the backwards tribe known as the House of Saud.
Someone up above nailed it: this is plain and simple staged demonization of an entire group of humans on the basis of their religious practices so that when the time comes it makes it easier to annhilate them, probably with nuclear weapons.
If you fall for this shit then god bless you, and may you be forgiven, and mercy on your soul.
I am Chumbawamba.
That is very christian of you and you are absolved of your limited understanding of the situation
Actually it is called Sharia Law. It is both barbaric and putrid.
What the hell are Muslims doing in Europe anyway? How did they get there ? Who lobbied for mass-emigration from turd world ?
What the hell are Muslims doing in Europe anyway? How did they get there ? Who lobbied for mass-emigration from turd world ?
So what is it - the "culture" or the "religion"? Does it even matter? If a "culture" embraces atrocity then that culture needs to go.
Then by that metric say goodbye to America.
-Chumblez.
*hugs*
Push the hate long enough, hard enough, and it becomes real.
Fuck the Wahhbies and the camels they road in on. The Saudi's don't deserve the oil wealth they have. They use it to return the world mid evil times.
Take any muslim fix reccomendations to the royals and financial elites.