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The Only TV News Report On The Economy You'll Ever Need
Confused as to whether good news is bad news, bad news is good news, or no news matters whatsoever, this brief clip summarizing every mainstream media report on the economy explains it all...
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h/t Lance R
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And now you know why the British make the best comedy.
Dimwit Economist
Good plan! Buy the dip ..... lol
Zero Hedge is reporting
THIS.IS.THE.BIGGEST.BUBBLE.EVER
http://www.cnbc.com/id/102517094
That got me right in the feels.
Good but the English accent made me want to puke.
Its not my fault that I can't listen to anyone that has an English accent. As an English major I have converted all English accents in the hundreds of English novels that I've read into the accent of the Q99X2. Through great effort I have changed history and forced the English to conform to my understanding. Most except for the accent, a few Queens and Kings with cloven hooves, pedophile oligarchs and banksters have successfully been converted into something civilized. Listening to Max Keiser helped too.
The stereotypical american accent is an offshoot of old English accents- live with it bitch.
Really?
Chances are you wouldn't understand the English spoken twenty miles out of the cities.
Winston is correct! I lived in Wigan for 6 months and only understood maybe 1/10 people. It's an accent even my co-worker from Birmingham could not understand. I would just nod and smile yes to them as I did my work there.
Geordie accent has to be one of the hardest to understand.
A good friend of mine was brought up as a child in Newcastle before moving to South Wales.
When we were in US, I ended up pretty much being his interpreter!
We were in a bar in rural Pennsylvania - the barmaid asked me what language he was speaking.
She was going inside for a "TWIX"?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Twix
And I thought it was a chocolate candy bar...
I went for this explanation:
Twix When you are fucking your woman, just as you about to cum, you jamb two fingers in her ass and then reach around and shove them up her nose. I must be so pedestrian. I honestly can say this variation never occurred to me.Well, that certainly cleared up a number of questions that have been nagging me for quite a long while now.
Very concise too. … Nice score Tyler.
~ DC
i thought i detected some gray matter there.
My turn to try to add rational content from a freegold perspective, sounding certain but clueless as to timing....back to you Emily.
Nice job Emily. Both comments regarding the fucking appendice helicopter shot and twix reference had me in tears laughing. Bravo my dear. Keep up the great reporting at financial business state of true affairs.
At ending of video, bet 80% of the global population doesn't realize that you're standing in front of the World Bank.
"bet 80% of the global population doesn't realize that you're standing in front of the World Bank".
So I am that 80%, that appears to be The Gerkin to me, what am I missing?
30 St Mary Axe (widely known informally as The Gherkin and previously as the Swiss Re Building) is a commercial skyscraper in London's primary financial district, the City of London.
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As of January 2015, current occupiers of the building include:
Standard Life
SuperDerivatives - now owned by Intercontinental Exchange
Allied World Assurance
Regus
ION Trading
Kirkland & Ellis
Deutsche Pfandbrief bank AG
Hunton & Williams
Coleman Bennett International Consultancy Plc
Falcon Group
IPsoft
Liberty Living
Well thanks for that. Am I still being slow? Non of those names leap out to me as 'world bank' type players.
Sorry I should have said I agree with you. It is not the BIS. Not doubt these are big money players, but I don't know them at all.
Hidden in Plain Sight.
Cool, well just wondered if someone (the orginal commenter) had something more specific, To me those names look like the oil rags that keep keep the engine running, not the engine drivers.
Trying to chase this down(I don't see anything):
- Swiss reinsurance company
- Gherkin bought by Brazilian banking giant for £700m - Telegraph, Safra Group - the Brazillian banking empire controlled by billionaire Joseph Safra.
trading floors, some of the offices of Sky News.
United Kingdom Home - World Bank
www.worldbank.org/en/country/unitedkingdom -
Millbank Tower, 12th Floor, 21-24 Millbank, London SW1P 4QP. +44 20 7592 8400. londonoffice@worldbank.org. STAY CONNECTED. Facebook · Twitter · Blog ...
This has got to be the most important:
Intercontinental Exchange, Inc. (ICE) is an American network of exchanges and clearing houses for financial and commodity markets. ICE owns and operates 23 regulated exchanges and marketplaces; ICE futures exchanges in the US, Canada and Europe, Liffe futures exchanges in the US and Europe, New York Stock Exchange, Equity options exchanges, OTC energy, credit and equity markets. ICE also owns and operates 5 central clearing houses; ICE Clear Europe, ICE Clear U.S., ICE Clear Canada, ICE Clear Credit, and The Clearing Corporation.[2] Headquartered in Atlanta, Georgia, ICE has offices in New York, London, Chicago, Houston, Winnipeg, Amsterdam, Calgary, Washington, D.C., San Francisco and Singapore.
Well thanks for the continued interest in this. World Bank UK offices, not even in the City of London, pfft, what are they thinking???
Well ICE may be a player, the New York Stock Exchange Wiki page says 'This article is about the stock exchange. For its parent company, see Intercontinental Exchange' made me laugh for some reason. ICE Headquarters are in Atlanta so guess The Gerkin offices are the UK office.
A+ video!
Another stupid vid about an important issue. She should at least show her tits.A complete waste of time.
See my above post, guess who is renting Bank of London rental space? Hence my references to Emily standing behind the glasshouse dildo.
https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/bis-quarterly-construction-pric...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2064806/More-half-City-Londons-f...
I was thinking the same thing! What numbers are her titties?
What happens when the police and the military join the mob?
CHANGE!
It means the oligarchy ran out of money.
That reminds me of the conversation Leonidas had with Xerxes in 300.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NV9DSykTbo
Everyone has to decide to do what is right or what is easy and comfortable.
I hope those who've lost their comforts don't give up.
Xerxes had six fingers and toes per hand/foot, and a much larger skull.
I wish Hollywood could have portrayed Xerxes as the Nephilim creature he was.
I was deeply mooved.
Sad to say these kinds of reports do nothing but confuse. Until the people understand difference between currency and money in our fiat system there will be no change. Stack.
Oh Sh!t that was awesome. I'm subscribing to the youtube channel now.
It's all in the format.
I get a kick whenever I see any (and almost every) MSM story about a significant market event still using pics and video clips of panicked floor traders and exchange brokers as a backdrop. It’s as if to suggest these people still represent some meaningful example of how our markets work today, or ever were responsible for assessing and deciding the impact of world events on markets (has anyone but me ever thought these guys with nametags on their smocks kind of resemble auto mechanics and the nighttime cleaning staff in their office building). They even went as far as planting Rick Santelli and his Rants on the floor to try and convince us they’re plugged into the hub of market action and decision making.
Show me a half hour of activity on Goldman’s bond trading desk, and the percentage of trades done by mindless computers everyday. That’s the truth I want to see on CNBS.
This level of satire could appear only on a place called Charlie Brooker's Weekly Wipe. Truly inspired. My love for you, Emily Surname, is as deep as the sadness that has suddenly overcome me for reasons I don't understand.
Emily I got your surname.
I like it when she said fuck.
OH MY.........
I can't cope with the numbers...I am sad now.
Here is a the latest Craig Hulet http://www.eliasound.biz/hulet/mp3s/2015/04.03.15.mp3
He is the best according to all of the Q99X2.
HR399 New form of Government for the United States. Authorization for all militarized US forces to be used against US citizens on behalf of oligarchy.
Legislation Sponsored or Cosponsored by Michael T. McCaulThanks. I like his voice. Someone here pass him on to me Last year from ZH.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nd_Z_jZdzP4
hmmm, numbeers!
Did anyone else get a Chubby when she said fucking? My number for her however is 69 & 71. 71 is the same thing as 69 except with two fingers up her ass..
And a Twix in amerca is called a filthy Sanchez.
Even better is the word chooms is slang for testicles. So does that mean Barry was in a testicles smoking gang?
Barry inhaled the chooms of some folks. Par for the course. No wonder he likes golf with all those balls.
Darn, she was off camera when she said it.
lol........
Finally, some business news that's relevant and worth watching!
Finally, some business news that's relevant and worth watching!
Generic Obama comment.
FINANCIAL MEDIA BULLISH ON IMBECILE HEADLINES
Sensationalist headlines at top media outlets, forecast to grow triple digits till there is no more financial media.
Source: www.financialpaparazzi.com
Excuse me. Doesn't ANYONE care about GMO, global warming, fracking, and Christian fundamentalists?
Happy Easter
The majority of people doesn't care about all that or is too dumb or too afraid to have an interest. Instead, people want to entertained. They don't entertain themselves, they want TV, religion, gadgets and toys and sports and other mindless forms of entertainment do it for them. Cause it is safe, it feels warm, it makes you feel good about yourself, like you are part of something or unique. TPTB facilitate that. Cause it helps them to keep people where they are. They don't need well informed and educated masses. They need mindless sheep that consume what they produce for them. But remember, they can also take it all away if they want to.
Absolutely brilliant. Kudos to the creators and thanks to ZH for the post.
Don't blame the bees.
yeah, I'm a bit worried the banksters are setting the bees up to take the fall when it all implodes, along the lines off, 'sob, we modeled our entire economy on the Beehive, its not our fault its flawed, its those Bloody Bees fault'
All news outlets are for entertainment only. ZH included : ) )
True, The news outlets rightly conclude that ' the truth' would;-
1) Turn off viewers and advertisers
2) Upset their paymasters and the security agencies with painful results.
3) Be so ugly that they would cause mass uprisings and suicide.
4) Be incomprehnsible to their viewer 12 year old mental profile.
It must be like within government, diplomacy, advertising, spokesmen of all kinds. etc.....'the truth' is a laughably naive term which would never enter into the converations of grown up professionals.
Here's a BBC example, with the same hand movement, vocal emphasis, over-the-top attempt at symbolism, war video, river shots, "the finger" - all to make a point that could be made in three sentences.
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-32013534
I hope that sick motherfucker and his family stand on a firing line. Look at the new Kenya war. The kids are beautiful.
This sick person needs to be removed from United States of America President .
dafuq? da news starts to tell da truth? *head explodes*
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YI3NoBeNwfk
That last shot - white balance! White balance!
the reporter emily surname is actress Catriona Knox...she has other vids on youtube.
oh heck, just get on with the reset already!
brilliant
I was strangly calmed by that broadcast
The Bauers became the Red Shields, became the Rothschilds. But then, you knew that, didn't you?
. dup- apologies all around
Hey, a lot of broadcasting in Europe is non-hysterical, especially the BBC.
In the US they think they need hysterical hyperbole, shouting and jerk jerk editing to retain the attention.
I got yer meme bullshit right here! ( Beetlejuice crotch grab w/ 'honk honk' sound effect )
Dispite Emily's credentials; CNBC, CNN, MSBNC or ABC couldn't hire her credentials based on Council of Public Relations. That's why we have the bald fuck named Steve Liesman on CNBC. Do you remember Benny Hill?
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVYsmpcbvk
Enjoy £! Hehehehe
How refreshing! Any of you fuckers find it ironic that the brits are starting to challenge the facade?
Nah, didn't think so.
It's not just the Brits!
All of western europe is revolting against the central banks, multiculturalism, mass immigration, etc. They are SO MUCH MORE democratic and aware than americans.
In germany, one of the populist parties, PEGIDA, has had large demonstrations of white people against the central banks, multiculturalism, mass immigration, etc.
Do you know how far away we americans are from that sort of awareness and democracy?
"Do you know how far away we americans are from that sort of awareness and democracy?"
Why worry, Uncle Sam has got your back. Soon, Jade Helm 15 snatch and grab military exercises will begin and you won't be disturbed by broadcasts like this anymore. Just go back to sleep. (/sarc)
Methinks it is due to the cycle. Europe has "experience" the awesomeness of socialism whereas in America a growing number think socialism is a solution.
Europe is still experiencing some awesome aspects of socialism, like universal free health care and education . Also they seem to be way way behind on policemen shooting citizens - in fact, anyone shooting anybody.
Growing up there I was a promising but desperately poor lad. The state noticed this ,picked me up out of the gutter and paid for as much education as could absorb. Equality of opportunity they call it.
My wife had childhood polio and needed years of attention to get full functionality. The state saved her life and didn't send a bill.
Believe me, socialism is not a four letter word.
The US pays more than just about anywhere else on the planet.
US healthcare sucks.
See what corrupt politicians can pull off?
They've managed to convince the population that affordable health care is a bad thing.
Meta is a bee colony soldier, his job is being threatened. Best to have a Union meeting over this ordeal.
/sarc
"Occupy Wallstreet" comes to mind. Did I miss something?
I thoroughly enjoyed that video!
I like the metacommunication!
I used to think Alex Jone at www.infowars.com was crazier than a shithouse rat.
I now realize that the people running the country are crazier than a shithouse rat.
The rest of us are just behind misinformed ala Twain.
I knew there was a reason I missed England... the Sloane'ies never disappear.
THANKS, OBAMA!
No reset for at least 20 years!! They will hold it together for as long as Americans for the most part continue believing in the bullshit propaganda.
Happy Easter Zerohedge. Apparently Charley did another version of this before. Both are excellent.
Charlie Brooker's How to Report the News - Newswipe - BBC Fourhttps://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aHun58mz3vI
Thanks Emily, you need to get fu.ked!
At this point gmak comes in with a snarky-sounding comment about we are what we produce and then tosses out some allusion to broken clocks.
"US prison labor is now the cheapest form of labor available with prisoners paid between 93 cents and $4.73 per day. Prisoners make office furniture, work in call centers, fabricate body armor, take hotel reservations, work in slaughterhouses, manufacture textiles, shoes, and clothing, process agricultural products like milk and beef, package Starbucks coffee, shrink wrap software for Microsoft, sew lingerie for Victoria’s Secret, produce the military’s helmets, shirts, pants, tents, bags, canteens, and a variety of other equipment, make circuit boards for IBM, Texas Instruments and Dell. Sew McDonald’s uniforms, and perform labor services for Boeing, Motorola, Compaq, Revlon and Kmart."
"Americans are distracted by sex, entertainment, the difficulty of providing for themselves and for families. They are locked into the disinformation that sustains the American Matrix, blinded by their patriotism and the 4th of July speeches and by their indoctrination that Americans are “exceptional and indispensable.” And, of course, by their ignorance and arrogance. Americans simply have no clue...."
http://www.paulcraigroberts.org/2015/04/03/can-evil-defeated/
Insane, who needs China?
So there's our solution to the unemployment problem. Just get thrown in jail.
The US has the best numbers. LOL.
And this is the point at which everybody has stopped reading the comments and I complain that the bank hasn't sent the check for my "cash for keys" deal, and how I'm only living in a foreclosed house because I inherited it and that I can't talk about it any more, even though I've been here almost six years, because I signed a non-disparagement agreement.
Otherwise, Emily Surname! I'd do her.
This video spot is:
a. Brilliant
b. Stupid
c. Kim Kardashian
d. I don’t know
Do you think Kim has pretty feet?
They look kind of stubby to me.
a. Brilliant, and
e. Absolutely not what I expected.
the Fed is using this power of the publics fascination with nominal numbers to justify ZIRP, since interest rates set at half the rate of inflation are devastating to savers, as long as the nominal rates of both are low, there's no problem, say 2% return on investment versus 4% inflation, but if you move those numbers to 5% return and 10% inflation the public outcry is deafening. the fed is already showing reluctance to raise rates, their lagging indicator is where Fed policy is going to be for a long long time. Bernanke has said he really doesn't like TIPs, because they offer an alternative to losing 100% of fix income returns to inflation, and then paying taxes on top of that. you can buy TIPs and the government has to give you back what they are stealing. no fair says the Bernank!
gotta feel sorry 4 the bees in a way...
all that hard work for nothing...
Well, they are making honey, for themselves to...
Oh, never mind.
by god, that is awesome
reportage.