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Was Your Apple Watch "First Day" Experience Comparable To This?
As the de minimus supply of Apple Watches meets the stupendous demand from wrists everywhere, The Daily Mash offers one satirically-conjured man's perspective of his first day wearing the device...
Sales manager Tom Logan’s new Apple Watch has been unexpectedly ridiculed by his work colleagues.
32-year-old Logan felt confident that his futuristic timepiece would attract admiring glances rather than unflattering Knight Rider comparisons.
He said: “I had it all planned out – not saying anything about it, but then somebody just notices and goes ‘is that the new Apple Watch?’. I would respond simply with a wry Clooney-esque smile and they would mouth the word ‘awesome’.
“What actually happened is somebody said ‘what the fuck’s that weird-looking thing?’
“I explained that it was the brand new Apple Watch and they went ‘HAHAHA’ in a really deliberately hurtful way. The accounts assistant said it was the opposite of a fanny magnet and everyone cracked up.
“Then everyone started pretending to talk into their watches, saying things like ‘come in KITT, I am a massive tosser, please help’.”
By 10am Logan had removed the watch. He explained: “It wasn’t because people were being sarcastic, I just had a hot wrist, everyone gets a hot wrist sometimes.
“People get jealous of early adopters.”
But it gets worse... Do not drop your up-to-$17,000 watch... ever!
Especially not from your wrist!
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Hey, I don't know why everyone is bashing this thing... I think Elton John wears one, no?
Can you sing any better? I didn't think so!
"I am a massive tosser" ....funny as hell
Might as well fuck me in the ass with the large end of a baseball bat.
On DHgate and other bootleg chinese amazon sites they got similar watches for like 20$.
http://www.dhgate.com/product/u8-bluetooth-smart-watch-wristwatch-for-i/...|1929549058
looks the same to me.
http://www.dhgate.com/product/air-gesture-5-7-inch-note-3-1-1-android-4/...|1929549058
http://www.dhgate.com/product/gear2-aplus-smart-watch-with-touch-screen/...|1929549058
But w.e
http://www.ebay.com/itm/like/381237824446?lpid=82&chn=ps
Forgive me if I just can't tell why its special and why its worth more than say 40$?
It obviously isnt made of anything worth more than say 100$ (are they making this thing clad in gold or something?)
I mean if its not made with any precious metals (case) then I just can't see more than say . . . 12$ worth of parts, and if the crystal is indeed saphire the crystal cant be worth more than say 40$.
The pcb we all know is o/c worthless chinese foxcon garbage (probably) made for under 2$ a unit.
So I value the apple watch at around 75$ fair value , throw in 20$ for the branding and fanboyism and maybe another 20$ for software gimmics and 115~120$ max.
It's kinda ugly, I mean . . . square watches? still? in this day and age?
Ill stick with my http://www.amazon.com/Omega-2210-51-00-Seamaster-Chronometer-Chronograph... ^^... which I have dropped, and its still not even scratched.... I guess stainless steel and sapphire holds up fairly well compared to plastic , wires and batteries.
My next watch will probably be one of those Citizen eco-drives, because . . . you need a reliable watch for the Apocalypse. . . solar is the way to go Imo, automatics are nice but meh . . . . solar
I can't see anyone giving you a compliment on a giant square wrist heater . . . tho ^^....
Honestly, stopped wearing my Rolex watch during 2007 Greenspan debacle. I'll just hand it down to one of the kids or both, they can split the proceeds.
Watches are outdate a bit, everyone just checks their phones nowadays.
But im a bit old-school and nostalgic and I like to remember "better times", namely times where everyone wasn't trying to get on welfare and become a cyborg Obama spydrone.
The (C)(r)Apple iPopTM... coming soon!
Just read the latest WS urinal magazine today. Yes the WSJ, magazine version What a bunch of detached douchebags.
Appears the Federal Reserve is going into NIRP to save their sorry asses.
Go ahead in downvoting. We will clean up this depot system by a gun shot. Ask Kenyon Nigger on new policies. That fucker will lie. The anti-globalislm remark caught Kenyan nigger into another lie. He wants Chaos to complete adgenda.
my son doesn't have a chance. i'm going to force him to become gay for his own good.
What kind of a fruitcake would wear one of those ridiculous Apple watches?
The Iwatch is good for midget porn on its tiny screen. Not so much for anything else because its screen is just too small.
That's it! We have officially jumped the shark! Apple, please get back to work and create some value, not some trendy piece of shit toy.... My God, what kind of vacuous F*&K buys this shit...
WTF!
"People get jealous of early adopters". Tosser indeed. Adopt to what? Apple's marketing strategy?
No, they make fun of people who think they are special because they consider themselves "early adopters". Like these people wearing these bluetootch thingies in their ears.
Does it come in a pocket protector model?
If that ugly thing ever caught on (it won't) we'd see wrist cancer spike 17,000%.
This is funny as Apple put out some regulations on the apps for the Apple Watch, no fart apps allowed. There was already an app written for that called @fartwatch who's on Twitter and making a "stink" about it. Can't make this up.
My first iPhone in 07, my office mates laughed at me. Two years later, 90% of them had iPhones. Someone wants to track me with it? Well, it stays somewher else when I want to "disappear".
My first iPad - they laughed at my "oversized iTouch". Less than two years later, they were equipping their whole families with iPads. I can put a whole library of books in there, as well as movies for travelling.
The Apple Watch is not for me, though. I already have a real watch - Omega, bitchez! No need to charge. And if things get bad, I can cross borders with thousands of dollars on my wrist and the border guards would not even know. SHTF, I can even barter it. The movement is considered one of the best, and it will more than likely appreciate it price as time goes by. And oh yeah, the gold digging bitchez know what it is. I'm cool with that since I'm not after them for their brains either.
By the way, the apple watch that "broke" in that picture is the Sport version, which is under $500, not $17k.
I had a smartphone in 2003 , the Palm Treo. Apple fans are non tech shitheads.
and BTW., lots of the components in iphones is Samsung. LOL
Under 500 ?
You can buy a knockoff at Geekbuying for less than 50 bucks.
check it out.
Wow, I have a 128 GB micro SD card I can slip into my Galaxy S5. You know how many movies and e-books? I have one folder with 1800 E-books. (thanks Bittorent).
Only decent thing you said there was your Omega Watch. I have Seiko Kinetic for last 20 years . Been diving with it., shower with it on. dropped it, beat it up. and its still like new.
Here is Geek Buying site. Look at the prices. those items all are as good as the iWatch. Enjoy paying thru the nose for your LOGO. ROFLMAO.
http://www.geekbuying.com/category/Wearable-Devices-1549/
Watch this and compare
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0ub3uPfFeQ&feature=youtu.be
may well be that in 2 years time people would much like to own the GOLD inside the golden version of the watch, but not for the watch part of the watch. we'll keep watching the case.
With the IOS 7 fuck up why would you trust Rotten Apple.
It wasn't bold enough from Apple. Even before it came out I thought , I hope they make it about 4-6 inches long , like a wrap around gladiators flexi screen cuff tablet, worn around forearm .
Something usuable . Not this. It deserves to be laughed at.
That's pretty muchit ... sums it up nicely.
Since I started freelancing I've been bringing in $90 bucks/h… I sit at home and i am doing my work from my laptop. Th? best thing is that i get more time to spent with my family and with my kids and in the same time i can earn enough to support them... You can do it too. Start here... www.globe-report.com
The perfect accoutrement for a Tesla. Now you are a complete douchebag.
The design of the Apple watch is a complete let down. It looks like a cheap cross between a watch and a I-phone. Coming from Apple this is a criminal lack of innovation.
A better and more forward looking approach would have been to create an electronic bracelet linked to the I-phone with a sleek, flat design and a flexible screen. Something which changes colors for e-mails, calls, etc... while just giving you the name of the caller or the tittle of the incoming message with reduced functionality. Cancel, hold, accept, etc...
Just a mater of time I guess before they stumble on the right design.
lol
a mickey mouse of a watch
without mickey mouse
Looks like cheap toy watch made in china for kids. Anyway no idea why there are so many newses in web about this crap. Maybe becouse apple is supposed to be "snoobish electronic" producer. But this toy looks like crap.
Idea for next apple product:
Put your dead loved one's ashes in a dildo
http://dangerousminds.net/comments/because_love_never_dies_put_your_love...
Can you sell your Apple shares with that watch?
what watch ?
Mr. Leuchtag: Come sit down. Have a brandy with us.
Mrs. Leuchtag: To celebrate our leaving for America tomorrow.
Carl: Oh, thank you very much. I thought you would ask me, so I brought the good brandy. And - a third glass!
Mrs. Leuchtag: At last the day is came!
Mr. Leuchtag: Mariechen and I are speaking nothing but English now.
Mrs. Leuchtag: So we should feel at home when we get to America.
Carl: Very nice idea, mm-hmm.
Mr. Leuchtag: [toasting] To America!
Mrs. Leuchtag: To America!
Carl: To America!
Mr. Leuchtag: Liebchen - sweetness, what watch ?
Mrs. Leuchtag: Ten watch.
Mr. Leuchtag: Such much ?
Carl: Hm. You will get along beautiful in America, mm-hmm.
iDouche. Lady's. You will love it. Men will buy it for that special girl in their life. Granny will finally have an apple product she understands.
"Set phasers to stun."
Are they thus quite stupid, if I escape my Rolex on cement it also will break and then? What do they want to prove?
It screams, "Help I have fallen and can't get up". It is just one more urban metrosexual piece of trash that is supposed to move you up a notch on the pecking order because it costs so much. Pitiful products for pitiful people.
My Moto 360 has survived a fall from several feet on concrete just fine without shattering. Thats the problem with sapphire glass that crApple is using... its very scratch resistant but impact - not so much.
Everyone either doesn't notice my 360 (because you know, it actually looks like a watch and not a bubblegum machine dispensed plastic toy) or they think its really cool.