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Caught On Tape: Self-Driving Car Ploughs Into Journalists

Tyler Durden's picture




 

While there is much debate whether the latest and greatest Apple fad is a dud...

or a hit...

... Apple has, in case the fading wearables mania is the former, a Plan C: a self-driving car

Or maybe not, because for a company built on the successful creation, execution and marketing of gadgets with a two year average lifespan, the worst thing that can happen is for the world to glimpse the unpleasant reality behind the glitzy, futuristic facade for sale every day (usually with a 4-6 weeks delivery delay) in Cupertino.

Such as this video, taken in the Dominican Republic, showing a self-parking Volvo XC60 reversing itself, waiting, and then slamming into journalists who were gawking at the "fascinating" if somewhat homicidal creation, at full speed.

As the Independent reports, the horrifying pictures went viral and were presumed to have resulted from a malfunction with the car.

Only it wasn't a malfunction.

Instead, in what is perhaps the most epic "option" in the history of automotive history, Volvo decided to make the special feature known as “pedestrian detection functionality” cost extra money.

It gets better: the cars do have auto-braking features as standard, but only for avoiding other cars — if they are to avoid crashing into pedestrians, too, then owners must pay extra.

“It appears as if the car in this video is not equipped with Pedestrian detection,” Volvo spokesperson Johan Larsson told Fusion. “This is sold as a separate package.”

 

The feature uses a radar and camera to see pedestrians.

 

“The pedestrian detection would likely have been inactivated due to the driver inactivating it by intentionally and actively accelerating,” Larsson said. “Hence, the auto braking function is overrided by the driver and deactivated.”

 

The blog that uploaded the video said that the two men “were bruised but are ok”. They said that “sources” had told them that “the drivers forgot to turn on ‘City-Safe’ mode”.

Indeed: a "self-driving" parking car which conveniently has an optional extra that stops the car from smashing into people.

In other words, unless you can fork over the extra couple thousand bucks, the future "self-driving" car becomes a war truck right out of Mad Max, filled with an insatiable desire to mangle and crush any carbon-based life forms that have the misfortune of crossing its path.

Just like in the video below. Presenting: the future.

 

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Wed, 05/27/2015 - 00:33 | 6135028 MATA HAIRY
MATA HAIRY's picture

always love to see journalists take it where it hurts....

 

YOU HAVE 20 SECONDS TO COMPLY!

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 00:41 | 6135038 sunkeye
sunkeye's picture

There's gotta be a Progressive "Flo" commercial in this.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 00:59 | 6135061 One And Only
One And Only's picture

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA omg I Love the future.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 01:31 | 6135093 Yperkeimenos
Yperkeimenos's picture

The terminator car,made to hunt down mankind.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 01:36 | 6135100 The Ingenious G...
The Ingenious Gentleman's picture

If you listen closely you can hear the car mumbling "Fuck you!" as it crashed into them.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 02:48 | 6135170 Mercuryquicksilver
Mercuryquicksilver's picture

"Tape"   

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 02:52 | 6135176 Rastech
Rastech's picture

Isn't Volvo a Chinese car company now? Maybe the car just hates Socialists and attacks them on sight?

 

I suppose the essential questions have to be asked, whether driverless cars come with the paid for option of being immune to hacking, whether being immune to hacking is a free option as a standard feature, or whether being immune to hacking is an unavailable feature?

I don't know about you lot, but there's no way I am ever getting into a driverless car that DOESN'T run on rails (small train type vehicle) so it can't be hacked into a wheeled guided missile with people stuck in it, let alone buy one. Heck I'm not that enthused even if a driverless vehicle DOES run on rails (maximum speed with deactivated brakes can still be a problem, right?). 

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 02:54 | 6135182 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

The self driving car will go the way of the digital watch.

Most people still enjoy driving a car (at least in Europe) and thats why manual transmissions are still so popular here.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 06:19 | 6135366 GoldSilverBitcoinBug
GoldSilverBitcoinBug's picture

I drove in Paris in manual transmission and it just suck:

1) disengage clutch.

2) put 1st gear.

3) then engage it and accelerate.

4) disengage put 2 nd.

5) engage it.

6) now 50 meters after another of those fucking red traffic signal.

7) so brake and disengage.

8) put neutral, stop the car.

9) Goto 1) when traffic light goes green...

Now automatic:

1) Switch from P or N to D.

2) accelerate.

3) brake.

4) While waiting after a red traffic light stay in D, release brake, goto 2) when green.

European take manual mainly because of cost to get an automatic car who are sold in option here unlike Japan, China, USA who are nearly 100% automatic car sold.

Manual transmission is a fucking hassle in large cities and crowded area.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 09:11 | 6135748 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Anyone who drives a manaul pretty much can do all this stuff automatically without much thought.

The advantage of manual stick shift is it is generally more reliable and a lot less expensive to repair.

Buy anything Chrysler especially a Jeep Cherokee and you will learn how expensive an automatic tranny repair is.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 03:13 | 6135204 Conax
Conax's picture

They should consider themselves fortunate it didn't have the optional 'finish the job module'.

Next, the self shooting gun!  The Judge Dredd model has an E-Bike chassis, a 12 gauge belt fed autoloader and Patriot detecting software.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 03:51 | 6135243 Q-Q-Q
Q-Q-Q's picture

Its a car designed by Yellen and her team at the Fed.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 04:02 | 6135249 Jack Daniels Esq
Jack Daniels Esq's picture

Thank God no animals were hurt during this stupid kludge

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 04:52 | 6135282 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Lucky it was only journalists.

I wonder if they have a Bankster option?  I would pay extra for that one.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 05:20 | 6135297 Boscovius
Boscovius's picture

I like how the guy in the pink shirt stands there gawking with his hands in his pockets till it runs him over.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 05:31 | 6135313 22winmag
22winmag's picture

Does this vehicle swerve off the road and slam into a tree to avoid hitting a squirrel?

 

Or is that the exclusive domain of 16 year old girls driving while texting on their iCrap?

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 05:39 | 6135320 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Self-driving cars?!

I can guarantee that the gun and badge thugs aren't going to like that one bit. Going to be bad for their ticket, tazer, torture, and murder rackets.

"The driver wouldn't open the pod bay doors, so I shot everyone in the vehicle."

Liberty is a demand. Tyranny is submission..

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 05:47 | 6135332 wwxx
wwxx's picture

Welcome to the future, where pedestrians are considered 'power-ups'. 

 

Back in the olden days we considered certain pedestrians as 'lubricant'.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 05:50 | 6135339 Hopeless for Change
Hopeless for Change's picture

I was sad to see that Chris Hayes was not the journalist who was hit by this car.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 05:59 | 6135350 sidiji
sidiji's picture

already the robots rebel...lol i thought you were joking about the optional package...jeeze

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 07:33 | 6135450 loregnum
loregnum's picture

I like how the idiot just stood there when it was OBVIOUS there was an issue and the car wasn't going to stop. That pretty much sums up the mental ability of humans these days. Idiocracy in full effect!

Oh and brilliant on Volvo's part to make pedestrian avoidance an option. Again, the idiocracy in full effect.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 07:53 | 6135478 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

Wait'll they program it for overseas wedding parties.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 08:06 | 6135507 Who was that ma...
Who was that masked man's picture

What's the problem?  They're journalists.  I mean, it isn't like they're people or anything.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 08:23 | 6135569 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

it would have been better if they were lawyers

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 08:45 | 6135653 Keyboard Kommando
Keyboard Kommando's picture

It would be MUCH better if they were Jewish lawyers!

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 14:54 | 6137147 Who was that ma...
Who was that masked man's picture

I thought all lawyers were Jewish.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 09:31 | 6135826 Bobbo
Bobbo's picture

Bunch o' bloody Parrots, I say.  Two legged echo chambers.  Necessary distractions when the truth gets too hot elsewhere.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 08:23 | 6135570 FranSix
FranSix's picture

Note to self: do not drive the car with your iPhone like in James Bom'd movies.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 09:02 | 6135712 studfinder
studfinder's picture

I'm upgrading my Pacer to a Gremlin...  you can keep your self driving cars.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 09:10 | 6135744 Mike Honcho
Mike Honcho's picture

"I definitely did not get hit by that car.  I barrel rolled out of the way."  B.Williams

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 09:27 | 6135812 Bobbo
Bobbo's picture

They trained it to do that.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 09:57 | 6135958 css1971
css1971's picture

WTF? The Onion becomes reality.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:57 | 6136211 Yancey Ward
Yancey Ward's picture

Well, if the victims were journalists, then I doubt it was less an accident than a public service.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:58 | 6136214 Yancey Ward
Yancey Ward's picture

Well, if the victims were journalists, then I doubt it was less an accident than a public service.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 12:35 | 6136549 A is A
A is A's picture

LOL. This is exactly what the fed is doing to everyone. Typical sheeple. They are standing there with there hands in their pockets the whole time the car was barrelling towards them as if the omnicient god of tech could do no wrong. Same goes for the fed: Run right over the sheeple while they are still in disbelief that such a thing could have even happened to them.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 20:27 | 6138346 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

Christine?

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