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Billionaires Troll Middle Class With "14 Things Successful People Do Before Breakfast" Listicle
At first we though the Twitter account of the World Economic Forum, best known for its annual Davos boondoggle catering only to billionaires, had been hacked.
Either that, or the world's billionaires (who previously were so very concerned about rising inequality they have since greenlighted numerous new cases of QE and a few dozen rate cuts to push stocks, and inequality, to even recorder highs) now have nothing better to do than to troll everyone else, not only by parading with their wealth (and lamenting rising global CO2 levels after creating a traffic jam with their private jets in Davos, Switzerland), but by, drumroll, release a listicle laying out "14 Things Billionaires Do Before Breakfast."
No, we are not joking. Here it is.
Here is the summary of what appears to have been a serious "article":
“If it has to happen, then it has to happen first,” writes Laura Vanderkam, a time-management expert and the author of “What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast.”
Those among us who have managed to find professional success and eke out a life actively embrace this philosophy. They must set aside their first hours of the day to invest in their top-priority activities before other people’s priorities come rushing in.
Science supports this strategy. Vanderkam cites the famous finding of Roy Baumeister, a Florida State University psychology professor, that willpower is like a muscle that becomes fatigued from overuse.
Diets, he says, come undone in the evening, just as poor self-control and lapses in decision-making often come later in the day. On the other hand, early mornings offer a fresh supply of willpower, and people tend to be more optimistic and ready to tackle challenging tasks.
So what do successful executives and entrepreneurs do when they are rested and fresh? From Vanderkam’s study of morning rituals and our own research, we outline the following 14 things that the most successful people do before breakfast. While they might not do all of these things every morning, each has been found to be an effective way to start the day.
And the details:
They wake up early.
Successful people know that time is a precious commodity. And while theirs is easily eaten up by phone calls, meetings, and sudden crises once they’ve gotten to the office, the morning hours are under their control. That’s why many of them rise before the sun, squeezing out as much time as they can to do with as they please.
The bottom line: Productive mornings start with early wake-up calls.
* * *
They drink water.
Many successful executives reach for water instead of coffee first thing in the morning. Kat Cole, president of Focus Brands, parent company of Auntie Anne’s, Carvel, and Cinnabon, wakes up a 5 a.m. every morning and drinks 24 ounces of water.
Huffington Post founder Arianna Huffington and Birchbox Man chief Brad Lande start their days with a glass of hot water with lemon.
Drinking water in the morning helps you feel more alert, rehydrates your body, and kickstarts your metabolism, says Rania Batayneh, MPH, a nutritionist and author of “The One One One Diet.”
* * *
They make their beds.
This one-minute habit can make you happier and more productive all day long.
In his book, “The Power of Habit,” Charles Duhigg writes that getting into the routine of making your bed every morning is correlated with increased productivity.
Making your bed doesn’t necessarily causeyou to get more done at work, Duhigg writes, but it’s a “keystone habit” that can spark “chain reactions that help other good habits take hold.”
In addition to being more productive, people that consistently make their beds also tend to have “a greater sense of well-being and stronger skills at sticking with a budget,” Duhigg writes.
* * *
They exercise before it falls off the to-do list.
The top morning activity of the rich and powerful seems to be exercise, be it lifting weights at home or going to the gym.
For example, Vanderkam notes that Xerox CEO Ursula Burns schedules an hour-long personal training session at 6 a.m. twice a week. Plus, “Shark Tank” investor Kevin O’Leary gets up at 5:45 every morning and jumps on the elliptical or exercise bike, andentrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuk starts every day with an hour-long workout with his trainer. “These are incredibly busy people,” says Vanderkam. “If they make time to exercise, it must be important.”
Beyond the fact that exercising in the morning means they can’t later run out of time, Vanderkam says a pre-breakfast workout helps reduce stress later in the day, counteracts the effects of high-fat diet, and improves sleep.
* * *
They work on a top-priority business project.
The quiet hours of the morning can be the ideal time to focus on an important work project without being interrupted. What’s more, spending time on it at the beginning of the day ensures that it gets your attention before others — kids, employees, bosses — use it up.
Vanderkam uses the example of a business strategist who dealt with so many ad hoc meetings and interruptions throughout the day that she felt she couldn’t get anything done. She started thinking of the early mornings as project time, and chose a top-priority project each day to focus on. Sure enough, not a single colleague dropped in on her at 6:30 a.m. She could finally concentrate.
* * *
They meditate to clear their minds.
Type-A personalities typically demand as much from others as they do from themselves, so it can be difficult for them to disconnect from their mental to-do lists and calm their minds. Before they head out the door, many successful people devote themselves to a spiritual practice such as meditation or prayer to center themselves for the rush of the day.
Manisha Thakor, a financial adviser and former corporate executive, practices transcendental meditation to clear her mind. She does two 20-minute sessions a day, the first before breakfast and the second in the evening, and focuses on breathing and repeating a mantra in her head. She’s found it to be “one of the most life-enhancing practices” she’s ever experienced, she told Vanderkam.
* * *
They check their email.
While time-management gurus may suggest putting off email as long as possible, many successful people start the day with email. In fact, one recent survey found that the first thing most executives do in the morning is check their email.
They may quickly scan their inboxes for urgent messages that need an immediate response or craft a few important emails that they can better focus on while their minds are fresh.
For instance, Gretchen Rubin, author of “The Happiness Project,” wakes at 6 every morning before her family’s up at 7. She uses the time to clear her inbox, schedule the day, and read social media. Getting these tasks out of the way from the start helps her concentrate better when she moves on to more challenging projects, she told Vanderkam.
* * *
They read the news.
Whether it’s sitting in the corner diner and reading the papers or checking the blogs and Twitter from their phones, most successful people have a pre-breakfast ritual for getting the latest headlines.
For example, GE CEO Jeff Immelt starts his days with a cardio workout and then reads the paper and watches CNBC. Meanwhile, Virgin America CEO David Cush uses his mornings to listen to sports radio and read the papers while hitting the stationary bike at the gym.
By the time they get to work, they have a good idea of what’s going on in the world. Then, they can get down to the business of changing it.
* * *
There were more "things" the successful do in the seemingly endless hours billionaires have "before breakfast" (it appears they "drink water", "make their beds" and "connect with their spouses" but don't actually make their breakfast) in the full WEF "article" of what is next-level middle class trolling, although we were laughing too hard by then to notice. And then we read the disclaimer:
This article is published in collaboration with Business Insider.
Suddenly it all became clear.
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Translated from klepto:
They wake up early.
Its 4:20 somewhere, Lebowski. Change my diaper. Check my 6 goy baby a day blood drip irrigation system.
They drink water.
Cottonmouth.
They exercise before it falls off the to-do list.
Fucking burns more calories than tennis. I prefer to exercise with Muffy before I change the sheets, the night before, when we don’t both have cottonmouth & one of us has BO..
They work on a personal passion.
I’m going to get that sob.
They work on a top-priority business project.
I’m going to suck up to that sob. Until I get a clear shot.
They spend quality time with famly.
Kama sutra.
They connect with their spouses.
Kama sutra, before 40.
They make their beds.
Rang the maid the night before, after pm exercise.
They network over coffee.
They shoot off a dozen demented emails that eerily resemble their edumacation programming… and CNN. Glen Beck. The ADL. The JDL. CAIR. The KKK. The nun from daycare, who they forgot long ago...
They meditate to clear their minds.
They take a shower, or commute to their cubicle in utopia.
They write down things they’re grateful for.
They shoot off a dozen apologetic emails to patch up what they said earlier.
They plan and strategise while they’re fresh.
I’m going to tell that sob's current wife about his affair with his slut secretary. His client list is mine, now.
They check their email.
They shoot off a dozen assertions about why everybody should be outsourced, drafted, taxed or euthanized, except them.
They read the news.
ZH, BICHEZ
You made my afternoon. Now I go for a run but only after I service myself....
But they do not buy bitcoin, that's why we will get all their money one day.
OH LORD!!! MY EYES!!!
i can tell from the comments that most the people are in the undesirable catoragory for the next holocaust...................hey guys all you got to do is act like an adult, its not that hard.have fun in the fema camps
We are going to eat the pilots at a sushi bar.
Don't they have to piss and brush their teeth before anything else?
I can envision the fucking sheeple fuck faces just out of business school lapping this shit up.
If you told these jack asses that Jack The Jerk Off (and he is a total fucking jerk off) sucked off his dog before breakfast --- these clowns would ask.... What kind of dog was that?
THAT"S what I've been doing wrong all this time. Fuck it, I'll just start getting up at midnight instead of 4AM so I can do all this shit. The quality time part might be tricky, I'll just hang out over their beds like a weirdo for a few minutes or so.
This kind of article is fucking pointless. The author can shampoo my crotch.