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No Joke! The Onion Predicted All Of This Back In 2003
Submitted by Carey Wedler via TheAntiMedia.org,
“George W. Bush may think that a war against Iraq is the solution to our problems, but the reality is, it will only serve to create far more,” read a 2003 article on The Onion a week after then-President George Bush launched the Iraq War. While a wide variety of organizations and individuals also rebuked that invasion, the satirical newspaper offered one of the most accurate assessments to date. So accurate, in fact, it all but predicted the rise of the Islamic State.
In the mock-debate piece, entitled, “This War Will Destabilize The Entire Mideast Region And Set Off A Global Shockwave Of Anti-Americanism vs. No It Won’t,” The Onion highlighted the very real risks of war.
As fictional debater Nathan Eckert warned:
“This war will not put an end to anti-Americanism; it will fan the flames of hatred even higher. It will not end the threat of weapons of mass destruction; it will make possible their further proliferation. And it will not lay the groundwork for the flourishing of democracy throughout the Mideast; it will harden the resolve of Arab states to drive out all Western (i.e. U.S.) influence.”
He continued:
“If you thought Osama bin Laden was bad, just wait until the countless children who become orphaned by U.S. bombs in the coming weeks are all grown up. Do you think they will forget what country dropped the bombs that killed their parents? In 10 or 15 years, we will look back fondly on the days when there were only a few thousand Middle Easterners dedicated to destroying the U.S. and willing to die for the fundamentalist cause. From this war, a million bin Ladens will bloom.”
More than a decade into the chronic conflict, the Onion’s projects are eerily—albeit predictably—accurate. By 2006, national security experts were warning the war was inspiring further radicalism. One of the Boston Marathon bombers was radicalized by the Iraq War. The Charlie Hebdo shooters were also radicalized by Western intervention in the Middle East.
As the Guardian pointed out earlier this year, “there was no al-Qaida in Iraq until the US and Britain invaded. And the US has certainly exploited the existence of Isis against other forces in the region as part of a wider drive to maintain Western control.”
The Onion article poked fun at empty rebuttals many proponents of war offered at the time.
“Why do you keep saying these things? I can tell when there’s trouble looming, and I really don’t sense that right now. We’re in control of this situation, and we know what we’re doing. So stop being so pessimistic,” wrote the fictional opposing debater, Bob Sheffer.
But the United States was not in control—and the pessimism (read: realism) was warranted. The Islamic State has thrived not only because of radical Islam, but because of resentment sparked by American intervention. A recent report by The Nation details interviews the author conducted with imprisoned Islamic State fighters. Journalist Lydia Wilson explained that while most people in the West believe the Islamic State is rooted solely in religion, it has attracted fighters for other reasons:
“They are children of the occupation, many with missing fathers at crucial periods (through jail, death from execution, or fighting in the insurgency), filled with rage against America and their own government. They are not fueled by the idea of an Islamic caliphate without borders; rather, ISIS is the first group since the crushed Al Qaeda to offer these humiliated and enraged young men a way to defend their dignity, family, and tribe,” she wrote.
As Eckert opined in The Onion over 12 years ago:
“Is our arrogance and hubris so great that we actually believe that a U.S. provisional military regime will be welcomed with open arms by the Iraqi people? Democracy cannot possibly thrive under coercion. To take over a country and impose one’s own system of government without regard for the people of that country is the very antithesis of democracy. And it is doomed to fail.”
Just as proponents of war today dismiss long-term risks of continued intervention, the fictional Sheffer downplayed any negative consequences:
“No it won’t. It just won’t. None of that will happen,” he replied to Eckert.
“You’re getting worked up over nothing. Everything is going to be fine. So just relax okay? You’re really overreacting.”
This is not the first Onion piece to foreshadow real world events. Earlier this year, a satirical article published on the site predicted the United States would offer weapons to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to placate him following Obama’s progress on the United States’ nuclear deal with Iran.
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considering the muslim race or is it an "idea" has been blood thirsty for hundreds of years... (ask the balkan nations) its then a pity and travesty that only the parents got killed, should have killed the children too and the pets in the yard...soon
Look, it's simple: We're Fucked...
The Onion's pre-emptive take on Bush's inaugural speech is also spot on.
"our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over."
"During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years."
http://www.theonion.com/article/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of-peac...
Almost as accurate as Glenn Beck, almost as in 1/10000 accurate.
We are going to hear none stop its a Bush fault for the next 12 months, get used to it, its all they have to do is blame all of Obummers nightmares on Bush.
Fuck you Soros, Die you old fart. DIE! and leave us alone alone!
https://youtu.be/y-Yszp3SmxE
I guess the US government did not murder enough children. Maybe next time.
So I'm reading these extraordinarily ignorant comments and I realize that half of you didn't read, or even understand what was written.
Your PROLBEM is your fucking arrogance, your willingness, even salivating at the thought of killing yet another 'enemy'.
It was the Saudis who planned and executed the attack on the World Trade center but your cherished Bush made sure they all got out of American airspace and back home to Sunni-land.
Why don't you do yourselves a favor and stop clamoring for war, war, war. Why don't you try diplomacy and peace instead, because your armed forces are a pathetic fucking joke.
The US government is in the process of killing its own citizens via many ways and it is intentional. It is an intentional as a knife in the back, a shove off the cliff, a drop of poison in the water glass. The US citizens are under attack from all sides and the US politicians from the highest to the lowest levels are colluding in the intentional manslaughter of 300 million people and NO ONE FUCKING CARES! How is THAT FOR A PIECE OF FUCKING NEWS!!!
Actually, the better part of 7 billion.
Stepped outside at 3:00 AM the other night and looked up into a clear moonlit sky. There was a Chemtrail from horizon to horizon. I thought WTF?
Went to Flightradar.com and identified a 757 flight from Sao Paulo to Orlando, going North.
How the fuck do they get even foreign carriers in on this shit???
Predicted? Predicted????
What they added two and two and got four, whoopty fuking doo.
Millions of people these this was the outcome, I guess that was why millions complained against it when it first happened.
Yeah seeing one unfold took a real Eienstein.
Here are some signs of a coming recession.
1. Business loans for M&A not CAPEX.
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2015-10-15/there-goes-final-pillar-us-recovery-loan-growth-paradox-explained
2. Factory orders continue to drop
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2015-10-02/us-factory-orders-flash-recession-warning-drop-yoy-10th-month-row
3. Default risk spikes
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2015-10-02/us-financials-default-risk-spikes-2-year-high
4. M&A set record
http://michaelekelley.com/2015/05/29/mergers-and-acquisitions-set-record/
5. Fed sees 2 bubbles
http://michaelekelley.com/2015/02/20/fed-warns-of-two-bubbles/
o Commercial Property higher than pre-2007 level.
http://nreionline.com/finance-investment/cre-prices-are-now-officially-above-pre-recession-peak
o Global Corporate Debt Market hits $5 trillion.
http://fn.dealogic.com/fn/DCMRank.htm
Here is how to prepare.
http://michaelekelley.com/2014/10/16/8-things-to-do-when-recession-happens/
Here is how to get your mind off this stuff.
http://michaelekelley.com/category/humor/
Good luck!
*
In 12 years of PC lies .... one of their general purpose apocolypse now pox puke fears .... caroms into a bit of the truth .... we all knew bad things were coming ?
it was Eisenhower fault for winning WWII
Well, if you are still scrolling and reading for the record I would like to note this type of article going on "USA this USA that blah blah blah, it's like that fake Felak Pema dweeb truly fantastic detail while never ever calling out the bankster sum puppetteers. HEY! it's 2015 and there is a thing called the internet and with a little effort one can easily verify ALL WARS ARE BANKSTERS WARS but no ZH continues to post polical puerility for jacking off. Tyler please get rid of the jackass Synder and let's up our game because if you don't this place will be nothing special anymore, like a NY Post for libertarians. Is that what you want?
ZH should create a forum for "predictions"
They could title it:
"Nostradumbass"
1. Collect predictions via articles and comments
2. list those predictions every New Year
3. ZH visitors have a month to vote, add comments, and perhaps even have a month of laughs too!