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Monday Humor? Christmas Day Condom Catastrophe
As Americans stuffed their faces with food and stuffed their sacks with gifts, three young German men had another 'stuffing' on their mind. As The Guardian reports, a man died on Christmas Day in Germany after he was hit in the head by a flying piece of metal from a condom machine that he and two accomplices blew up in an apparent robbery attempt.
The 29-year-old man was taken to hospital in the western town of Schöppingen, near the Dutch border, by the two other men who fled the scene of the explosion in a car, leaving behind condoms and money scattered around the gutted vending machine.
The two men told hospital officials that their friend had fallen down the stairs, injuring his head. Suspicious of their story, the officials called the police.
During questioning, police said, one of them admitted that the three had blown up the condom machine, and that their fellow conspirator was hit in the head by metal as he tried to take cover.
* * *
Somewhere in here is a circular "Darwin"-esque joke, and/or a whole new meaning to the word "blow" - but we leave that to the reader. But for now - practicing "safe sex" seems even more relevant.
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He should have worn a condom.
Got in just under the wire for the 2015 Darwin Award! Good on ya!
He wanted to fuck, instead got blown.
he should have just tongue punched the old fartbox, it had to be said.
R U drinking? ;-)
I thought that we always drank.
I just hate it when they blow up the condom machine out on the back forty.
why. will they send me someplace special?
Yep. He just squeeked past the guy in CA who walked off a cliff while reading his cell phone. iFell.
hard to swallow
now thats gay
Either with a condom or through death, his genes will NOT be infecting a new breed of idiots.
"Germans." "Youths."
I'm sure the 3 who did this were named Hans, Stefan, and Janis. Not Muhammed, Muhammed, and Muhammed.
"Germans."
The Pope sent them. That is only the beginning.
They'll wish they had a condom when Bubba blows a wad in their asses.
Armed Rubbery.
See Condom Say Bomb-um
The machine came on his face.
Conned dumb.
The Trailer Park Boys are in Germany?
+100 for Trailer Park Boys
And just for shits and grins ... explain this one to me.
http://www.kittyhell.com/2007/11/12/hello-kitty-condoms/
The Hello Kitty Condoms are twisted - Those wacky Japanese!
What in the wide, wide world of sports is a-goin' on here?
knuks,
I can't believe you need this esplained. It's all about the pussy. Meow!
Helllllooooooooo KITTY! Mmmmmmm!!! lol
That it was ever for children always seemed, er, uh, tongue and cheek to me. Kinda like Pee Wee Herman, the kids enjoy it at face value while the adults watch it and try not to laugh at all the double entendres.
On the flip side, later the teens "get" the sexual edge, and pretend to their parents they don't, all the while grinning at how stupid their parents are.
i always thought the hello kitty thing was completly twisted. had i girls instead of boys they wouldn't be having any of it
Older girls have a mind of their own... do all kinds of things dad don't like..
i know, but don't tell anybody..........................
double plus good.
Why is there a condom machine in the woods?
My thought exactly! Not too long ago you could only find condom machines in the gas station mens room where you could make your purchase in private.
Famous German pastime, Black Forest Buggery.
it that like a black forest tort?
He said wood
Black Forest Ham Wallet?
For all the gays running around in the woods?
Europe.
"Why is there a condom machine in the woods?" (I love that a chicken avatar [probably crossing the road] asks this!)
My response, "And if there is no one alive to hear it explode, did it make a sound?"
I suppose having a condom machine in the woods answers the age old question of "Does a bear fuck in the woods?"
cause he had his dick stuck in a chicken?
He probably fell on the chicken:
British man who told police he 'may have penetrated teenager after falling on top of her' cleared of rapehttp://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/british-man-cleared-rape-falling-t...
Daesh false fag blown!
You awful young to be round here in these parts of the interwebs, shaw-ty. Your parents know where you at, 18 week? Lots of predators around here. Best get on home now, before the sun goes down. I can't help you then...
Reminds me of the bear joke, "You're not here for the hunting, are you?"
I dream of a better world where a chicken may cross the road without having its motives questioned. The avatar is actually one of my chickens. A Buff Orpington named Brooks. Go figure!
i was thinking that it's a roadside sex locale. You meet prostitutes there, and go have sex in your car.
and i thought the "death by selfies" piece was the most F'd up story id ever see on ZH
HOGAAAAN!!!
Holy crap, I spit on my monitor. Funny
a condom machine next to what seems to be a park...
why would those 2 guys be there?
well, it was gonna be a 3 way, but you know, flying condom machines happen
Are you smarter than a condom machine? I guess not...
I'll have a ribbed french-tickler..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2O1Lb69AfQ
tickler? ... i hardly knew her
rectum hell, it killed im
Noble effort to win the Darwin award but I think this deceased guy in CA takes the honors in 2015.
http://fox59.com/2015/11/29/burglar-tries-to-escapes-through-chimney-get...
Yikes!
I saw that earlier. I just chalked him up as one of the early victims of localized climate change.
So how did you get that scar? War wound?
Shrapnel from a condom machine?........Bwahahahaha!
The next time you want to get protection....be sure and wear protection
Use our new condom VAVOOOOM, you'll explode in ecstasy.
Catholic terrorists?
now thats funny, hahhahahahahahhhahaahhah. or they could use the rhythm and blues method. only during the normal rhythm cycle while listening to ray charles records.
Do you know what they call couples that use the rhythm Method?
Mommy and daddy.
Happens when you tango to a waltz.
Even more humorous.
http://www.politico.com/story/2015/12/state-department-claims-peace-syri...
peace with honor, lol
State dept spokespeople must have learned their trade from Baghdad Bob
Double post.
hopefully Tyler's this is not an attempt to compete with that pole smoker drudge..............clickbait story.
First ever head job from a condom vending machine.
why didn't they just hit the old glory hole
Aren't free generic condoms for cheap fuckers a right over there?
What a degrading way to die...
" Mom, how did uncle Biff die?"..."He was hit in the head with shrapnel while robbing a condom machine Biff Jr."
Two Greek friends talking.
Harry asks Spiro how his sex life with the wife is going.
Spiro replies that he is getting bored.
Harry suggests he should turn her over and fuck her the other way.
Spiro replis tyat he had given it some thought but that he decided gainst it.
Harry asks why?
Spiro replies: she might fall pregnant.
Fkn Pricks got Busted
Sex w/o condom can get you Assanged.
Hands down some of the *funniest* comments I've ever read on ZH:
"Armed Rubbery"
"Why is there a condom machine in the woods?"
etc.
W A N K E R S
Great idea. Install booby trapped comdom machines wherever there's a herd of goats in Syria. ISIS will be wiped out in a week.
What makes you think they know what a condom is, how to use it, or have any desire to do so? It is not a goat-to solution. It cuts down on sensation.
Oh, they know what they are. They fill them with helium and float them as anti-aircraft flac.
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2015-10-23/isis-tries-blow-russian-bombers...
Oh they know. You ever try living with a pregnant goat?
Goat Boy...
https://screen.yahoo.com/charlie-rose-goat-boy-000000994.html
Another penetrating tail.
If a condom machine blows in the woods, does it make a sound.
Only if nobody is around.
Wrong kind of body armor or amour
He swallowed it all.
Open casket funeral? Lid held up by wood.
Maybe they thought it was a slot machine. (should read slut machine)
Guess he was a "dickhead".
its a fucking terrorist attackt..........hahaha......get it.................im gonna off myself now............thanks society for the cheap jokes.............i mean fuck it......humanity dont matter any god dammn way
If he already has kids how can he be a Darwin Award winner?
No kids in that gay crowd
Didn't even get enough for a tip.
Someone else gets screwed by BIG BLUE
People like to steal condoms.
That's why at Walmart, person w/ bird splat on the back of their uniform has to open a glass vitrine to get you one.
Safer on the long run for some.
After they split the 'loot' three ways..what the fuck were they going to do with it?...I dont think German hookers are THAT cheap....or are they?
20 euro a fuck is standard. In the peripheral nations like Italy, Portugal, Greece etc. it is even cheaper.
But there's no reason, under Jewish Bolshevism all girls are raised to be whores and put out for just about anyone. And rape isn't a crime in Europe, especially rape of white women by non-white men. Even young teen girls gang raped by non-white immigrants see no justice. The most harsh punishments doled out are community service.
Europe's white women are lucky if condoms are used. At least abortion is legal or there wouldn't be a fertile white girl or woman in Europe that wasn't carrying a shitskin baby right now. Part of the white genocide project.
20 Euros for a lay is affordable but that's Europe.
Have you looked at USD/CAD lately? The best bargains may be north of the border.
hint: "three young German man"
"Germans" near the Dutch border are known to be criminals and possess explosives. Oh wait.
Yea, this is 3 shitskins and one of them offed himself. One down, 20,000,000 to go.
You're talking about the East Frisians no doubt. But German and 'German' is no longer quite so clear. They tend not to give any hint whether or not they're immigrants. There was one pastor who demanded the government ought to provide free 'ladies' to reduce rapes. It's a fascinating country, now that it is so colourful.
They left the Money lay, I mean if you are going to run a Heist and somebody get's offed it's a two way split.
but then we knew they were Amateurs. Just like the guys who were Looting the Fergusson " Dollar Store "
our condoms are da bomb.
I wonder if this is the begining of the War on Sex.
ISIS new plan, instead of IEDs we can kill more combatants with exploding condoms.
p = plenty
An indication of German consumer confidence reaching all time lows.
Killed by a prophylactic machine, well...
Late term abortion.
Mabbe they themselves are the products of some burst condoms their fathers had worn.
Btw they were not after condoms
they were after the MONEY