Chinese Media Almost Sets Off Military Action With Erroneous North Korea Headline

Tyler Durden's picture

As expected - and feared - during the annual "Day of the Sun" celebration parade (celebrating the birth of the nation's founder), Bloomberg blasted a headline that Chinese news agency Xinhua reported that North Korea has fired a projectile.


On its website, Bloomberg immediately picked up the story, and ran with "North Korea Fires Projectile, Media Says: Xinhua" (at a url which still reads: "")

However, it appears that the headline scanning algos made a collosal error, and that Xinhua interpreted events quite incorrectly as it was, as CBC and Reuters reports, the appearance of a new submarine-launched missile at the parade for the first time:


North Korea displayed its submarine-launched ballistic missiles (SLBM) for the first time on Saturday ahead of a massive military parade in the capital, Pyongyang.

State TV showed images of the Pukkuksong-2 SLBMs on trucks waiting to be paraded in front of leader Kim Jong-un.

Immediately after, Xinhua - and Bloomberg - rushed to issue a clarification to avoid what may be a military confrontation.


As a result, the BBG headline - with a URL that still says that "North Korea fires a projectile" - now reads the following:

And that's how World War 3 almost occurred.

As CNN reports, a military parade in the heart of Pyongyang is underway where it's expected the North Korean regime will show off some of its latest arsenal. Pictures on state television showed thousands of soldiers marching in formation alongside tanks, balloons and enormous crowds. Leader Kim Jong Un was shown clapping and smiling from a reviewing box.

At one point, the soldiers directed a chant toward him. "We will die for you!" they yelled, CNN's Will Ripley, who was at the event, reported. For North Koreans, April 15 is an auspicious date that sees millions celebrate the birth of the nation's founder.

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Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

TeamDepends's picture

General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, do you recall what Clemenceau once said about war?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No, I don't think I do, sir, no.
General Jack D. Ripper: He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50 years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

TeamDepends's picture

General Jack D. Ripper: Your Commie has no regard for human life, not even his own. And for this reason, men, I want to impress upon you the need for extreme watchfulness. The enemy may come individually, or he may come in strength. He may even come in the uniform of our own troops. But however he comes, we must stop him. We must not allow him to gain entrance to this base. Now, I'm going to give you THREE SIMPLE rules: First, trust NO one, whatever his uniform or rank, unless he is known to you personally; Second, anyone or anything that approaches within 200 yards of the perimeter is to be FIRED UPON; Third, if in doubt, shoot first then ask questions afterward. I would sooner accept a few casualties through accidents rather losing the entire base and its personnel through carelessness. Any variation of these rules must come from me personally. Any variation on these rules must come from me personally. Now, men, in conclusion, I would like to say that, in the two years it has been my privilege to be your commanding officer, I have always expected the best from you, and you have never given me anything less than that. Today, the nation is counting on us. We're not going to let them down. Good luck to you all.

Insurrexion's picture

I'm thinking a YouTube (the old Adolf Hitler in the bunker scene) with Korean voices, English subtitles.

Déjà view's picture

98lb. weakling kicking sand at Mr. Muscle...

TeamDepends's picture

Major T. J. "King" Kong: Survival kit contents check. In them you'll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days' concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.

Laowei Gweilo's picture

pretty exciting news story now


let me guess Bloomberg there were also TRUCKS there? and.... PEEEEEOPLE ?!

Laowei Gweilo's picture

>>> And that's how World War 3 almost occurred. <<<


yeah, almost, it was so close, like, totally almost happened right then and there.


damn mang feels good to be alive.

TeamDepends's picture

General "Buck" Turgidson: If the pilot's good, see, I mean if he's reeeally sharp, he can barrel that baby in so low... oh you oughta see it sometime. It's a sight. A big plane like a '52... varrrooom! Its jet exhaust... frying chickens in the barnyard!

Nobody For President's picture

General "Buck"Turgidson: Doctor, you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?
Dr. Strangelove: Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious...service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.
Russian Ambassador: I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor.

J Jason Djfmam's picture

General "Buck"Turgidson: Mr. President, we cannot allow a mineshaft gap!

Richard Chesler's picture

Language limitations...

Trump is building a Wall ->

Tlump is building a Wall ->

Tlump is making a Wall ->

Tlump is making Wall ->

Wall? Wall??? -> File! File! File!

daily westerner's picture
daily westerner (not verified) Richard Chesler Apr 15, 2017 6:47 AM

If we still have to end it in such an ugly fashion, can we have at least a good old hard on?

Is not the best ... but hey...can't be picky when time is about to go up

Dozens of Miley Cyrus’ Nude Photos Hacked and Leaked Online


Shocker's picture

We have enough troubles, let try to stay focused and not start a new war this way.

Companies actually hiring:


MarsInScorpio's picture

Releasing sexually oriented photos, videos, or other media lacking any social-redeeming value labeled as "hacked," or "stolen," or some other adjective designed to inspire viewers to think they are something the subject would N.E.V.E.R. want the world to see is the last bastion of desperation for either a completely do-nothing worth-nothing, you can't name anyone more talentless, but unimaginably wealthy wannabe (exempli gratia Paris Hilton), or an end-of-the-line, tried every sick sexual trick to stay in the headlines, out-to-pasture old nag (exempli gratia Miley Cyrus or Madonna).

If you want virus-free, endless, no-matter-what-makes-you-hot vids, and pictures, go to: 

Jim in MN's picture

I woke up this morning thinking clear as a bell:

WWGD?   What Would Goldman Do?

Iran is the real target

HardAssets's picture

Yep, a bit over the top.

"U.S.A., S. Korea, and Japan launch massive attack . . . after reading headline in Beijing newspaper"

nmewn's picture

"At one point, the soldiers directed a chant toward him. "We will die for you!" they yelled, CNN's Will Ripley, who was at the event, reported." 

Well the crazy fruit doesn't fall very far from the tree.

Donald Trump's picture
Donald Trump (not verified) Laowei Gweilo Apr 15, 2017 6:43 AM

Can't wait for it to end, and see the results

Mr 9x19's picture

years ago i said " one day when idiocracy will lead the world, a single misinterpreting of any action will lead to catastrophic results "

it seems to me the time has come or is about to.


Rusty Diggins's picture

Oh god, thank you, that's all good stuff.

Charles Wilson's picture

"Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff..."

History Factoid: The original line was supposed to be:

"Shoot, a fella could have have a pretty good weekend in DALLAS with all that stuff..."

Then, the Kennedy Assassination.

Perhaps, Senator Hollings might be appropriately paraphrased here: "Thay's a lotta assassinatin' goin' on around here".

We certainly live in interesting times...

TheReplacement's picture

Rolling weapon systems through your own capital is not kicking sand at anyone.

Sending 59 cruise missiles to hit someone else's airfield in the desert is kicking sand.


Big Twinkie's picture

Only getting 23 missiles through to make pockmarks on taxiways and knocking over a few storage cannisters is like dry-humping a mannequin to prove what a stud you are.

nmewn's picture

Paraphrasing that great US statesman at the pinnacle of his prime, the former lawyer never practicing so never lost a case in...Arkansas, that grandad of the tarmac set and semi-reducto hobbyist raconteur of the English language in informing us all of the meaning of what the word "is" is...none other than Bill Clinton...

"No weapon system rolling through your capital ever fed a starving Nork child!"

(Bites bottom lip for added emphasis & the awww, swooning affect for the ladies)

But again I say, send Jimmah Carter back to negotiate an even betterer nuclear deal!!! ;-)

CNONC's picture

If you're sending Jimmy, it is for a better nucyular deal. 

Pasadena Phil's picture

Those NorKo submarines, all 70 of them, are ancient old-tech relics. The main reason they have so many of them is to keep their own population from escaping. They are only useful for coastal operations such as policing access, in AND out but mostly out, to their harbors. 

And cruise missiles? Really? So instead of using their ICBMs that always seem to land in the Sea of Japan, they can simply fire them directly into the ocean without the risk of hitting their own country. 

Almost triggered a US attack? Give me a break. What a joke. I'm sure it gave Fearless Glorious Leader a hard on though.

Jim in MN's picture

I have this eerie feeling that all of this is feinting and practicing for hitting Iran.......the one country they're not talking about.

Akzed's picture

Yeah but it got ZH a headline on Drudge!

ZeroPointOn's picture
ZeroPointOn (not verified) Akzed Apr 15, 2017 5:30 PM

I'm making over $7k a month working part time. I kept hearing other people tell me how much money they can make online so I decided to look into it. Well, it was all true and has totally changed my life. This is what I do...

Luc X. Ifer's picture

"We will die for you dear leader!" - well, I guess wish granted, the wait shouldn't last long.

QuadrupleH's picture

Not very different from the 50,000 that might be sent into Syria.

Nexus789's picture

More small town america cannon fodder. 

general ambivalent's picture

You headed over to prove your support of Zionist Destiny, trumptard?

tmosley's picture

>WWIII almost occured

For that to happen, someone would have to be on the side of North Korea. Both the US and China are against them, and most everyone else is neutral.

This will be a regional conflict, even if it goes nuclear.

divingengineer's picture

Japan and South Korea against also.
You would have to look long and hard for an ally, Iran, in principle, maybe.

Overfed's picture

I don't think the Iranians would touch NK with a 10 foot pole.

Michael Bay's picture
Michael Bay (not verified) tmosley Apr 15, 2017 6:46 AM


>against it`s own instrument


Still delusional, I see.

greenskeeper carl's picture

CD - Im pretty sure 'almost' counts with nuclear weapons, too.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

The actual saying is 'close', not almost. ;-)

TheReplacement's picture

When dealing with nukes, isn't almost close enough?

pugilist's picture

almost is almost always almost close enough.

pugilist's picture

and WW3 has probly already started.