Conservatives Smash Keurig Machines In Social Media Uproar

Tyler Durden's picture

Over the weekend, CNBC reported on five companies that halted all advertisements of their products on Fox News’ Sean Hannity show. These companies included:

  • 23 and Me
  • Eloquii
  • Keurig
  • Nature’s Bounty

The story began last Thursday, with the sexual allegations against Roy Moore, the Alabama senate candidate who, The WaPo reported that day, made sexual advances towards four teenagers when he was in his early 30s. As of today, there is even a fifth women accusing Moore of sexual misconduct.

After the story broke on Thursday, Fox host Sean Hannity came out and asked his audience to give Moore the benefit of the doubt. According to NYTimes,

Mr. Hannity, describing those actions on his radio show while speaking with a co-host, Lynda McLaughlin, seemed to justify Mr. Moore’s reported conduct by calling one of the encounters “consensual.”

Hours later "On his television show, Mr. Hannity said that the statement “was absolutely wrong” and that he “misspoke.” He then brought up the possibility of accusers lying for money, or for political purposes."

The following day, Angelo Carusone, President of Media Matters, a ‘politically progressive media watchdog’ that monitors “conservative misinformation in the U.S. media” said this to Keurig:

On Saturday, Keurig responded by saying “we worked with our media partner and FOX news to stop our ad from airing during the Sean Hannity Show”.

What happened next was a firestorm on social media that swept across the United States late Saturday into Sunday. The bulk of the trend #BoycottKeurig exploded on Sunday, as many conservatives who have boycotted the NFL because of kneeling problems, decided they had to urgently get involved in the latest bitter debate splitting America. We start with ‘Snoop Baily’ who smashed the living hell out of Keurig with a driver.

To keep it short, this is what it looks like when a sizable chunk of the US decides to go "Office Space":

For a while, Hannity played along with the trend empowering it to grow through his enormous social media network as conservatives were called to action to smash Keurig machines. As the day closed, he then told his audience that he was buying 500 coffee makers to give away on Monday.

On Monday, however, the Krush The Keurig fun ended when Hannity told his audience to stop smashing the Coffee machines, after Keurig CEO apologizes for ‘taking sides’…

Moore's sexual allegations aside, which have yet to be rejected or confirmed, what is more concerning is the blind willingness of substantial portions of the population to succumb to instant mobilization through social media and or a media figure(s), to collectively work as a unit in completing tasks, in this case the destruction of one's own property. Ironically, something tells us that for Keurig the news that its machines were being "Office Spaced" across the nation, was music to the CEO's ears (think replacement value), not to mention the unprecedented media exposure as virtually everyone spent the day talking about the incident (think unlimited advertising).

There's more: as The Atlantic writes, "in destroying Keurig machines also clearly aligns these people with a global environmentalist movement. In 2015, the “Kill the K-Cup” campaign took hold among those concerned about the net waste of so many pods. A Canadian advocate encouraged people to publicly abandon the machines."

Now America finds itself in the midst of hordes of angry people with clubs who will soon be going through caffeine withdrawal. They could go to Starbucks, though the chain has also been condemned and boycotted by some isolationist conservatives, since earlier this year it promised to hire 10,000 refugees in response to President Trump’s executive order barring them from the country.

Meanwhile, always eager to ride on the latest social media trend, corporate America has promptly noticed the events over the past 72 hours, and it is guaranteed that many more companies will follow in Keurig's activist footsteps. Who knows: the resultant breaking and smashing of various "resistance" products may just end up being the CapEx spark that the US economy so desperately needs...

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343 Guilty Spark's picture

They get most of their money from the actual k cups and not the machine....

83_vf_1100_c's picture

 I think they operate on the Inkjet Printer sales model. We'll sell you a printer below cost and fuck you forever on overpriced replacement ink cartridges. Luckily ebay is flooded with aftermarket cheap carts. Ebay is also flooded with aftermarket K cups to feed your Keurig. I am a coffee addict. I drink it in a 20 oz Contigo thermos so those cute Keurig 1 cup servings don't work well for me. A cheap drip machine 12 cups at each brew with good dark roast is the way to go.  No keurig, no k cups, don't watch Fox or any other tv news so passing on yet another social protest.

Mazzy's picture

No.  Just stop buying Keurig cups. 

It was a waste from the start and I could see it when the scam first came out.  Pay a dollar for what should cost about 3¢?  No thanks.

ParticularlyStupidHumanoid's picture


It is best to destroy the machines. Otherwise, someone may acquire the habit through the secondary market.

trippy64's picture

While true, they never wanted your money for the actual appliance, they wanted your money every week as you bought cups. This will screw Kreuig over

ParticularlyStupidHumanoid's picture

THAT'S NOT TRUE!!!! YOU ARE WRONG!!!!! Keurig relies on selling the K-cups. The machines are the Gillette handles, andt he K-cups are the Gillette blades. It's like the X-Box One X (and all videogame consoles): Sold at a loss, but quickly recouped in the first year of purchases, and thereafter high profit margins.

E5's picture

Put your money where your mouth is.

In the housing crisis did you move to pay your mortgage every 90 days instead of 30 when they gave your money to the banks and bent you over?  Or were you too concerned about your banking credit rating?  All these people who won't put skin in the game are just loud mouth shnooks.

One day we wil draw your blood.

Bes's picture

so fucking stupid

all of this


pedophiles are only liberal hollywood types

no one from alabama could be one ever

..... right


fucking pathetic

Giant Meteor's picture

I hear ya Bes. It's getting harder and harder to ridicule this shit .. running out of material .. 

It's either that or this stuff writes itself ..

Implied Violins's picture when do we get to take baseball bats to Teslas? Or do we have to actually own one first?

swmnguy's picture

Nope, actually owning one would take all the fun out of destroying it.

Giant Meteor's picture

No no,  ...

I'd say just as quickly as we can get a posse together.

We ride at sunup  ..

monk27's picture

The advantage with of a Tesla is that it tends to self-destruct to a nice crisp, eventually (more exactly, every time battery's membrane gets perforated...)

11b40's picture

Can you name any PROVEN pedophiles from AL?  

Didn't think so.

11b40's picture

Cute, but I didn't see Sessions name on the list.....and you had to look it up.  Could not name one without research.

Pernicious Gold Phallusy's picture

They behave like British and American aristocrats.

swmnguy's picture

Yeah, wasn't it just last week we all believed all the allegations because they were against liberal Hollywood pizza partiers?  But now that "Judge" Moore is the target, we can all get back to comfortable territory, in which all women are lying gold-digging bitches who are either making it all up or just frustrated because their schemes to screw their way to the top didn't work out.  

Never mind the question of consent, which is of course the only issue.

I put "Judge" in quotation marks because if there's a guy with more contempt for the Western legal tradition, I can't think of him; Joe Arpaio, the Clinton's, and whomever else one might name included.

Even President Trump didn't support Moore until it was a fair accomplished.

Too, too rich.  This is awesome. I so hope he stays in, wins, and tries to claim his seat.  It's an anarchist's dream.

Bay of Pigs's picture

You are so off the mark it’s fucking mind bending. If Moore is guilty, every person here would support his public hanging, which all of you libtards have already decided on his guilt.

Ex-Oligarch's picture

The difference is, Moore denies the allegations, which he claims are a carefully timed dirty trick to derail his campaign, invented by the accusers and not evidenced by any contemporary testimony or complaint.

Whereas Weinstein, Spacey, and many of the other entertainment and media figures have admitted and apologized for their conduct, and in most of those cases there are contemporary records of the victim's complaints to employer human relations departments, police departments, or at least friends and family. 

And while the accusers who name Moore may hope to alter the national political balance by causing a spurious scandal, no similar objective is apparent for those accusers in the film and media industries, who take a very real risk that their careers will be permanently harmed by taking on powerful figures in their chosen fields. 

dark pools of soros's picture

legal consent is 16 in Alabama so i doubt there's a desire to go younger... leave that for Hollywood

Giant Meteor's picture

I do not know a fooking thing about Moore, the accusations made against him, nor validity of said accusations ..

But to imply that kiddie diddlers do not reside in every fooking state in the Union, and I imagine like all else, ranking right up there in the highest echelons of monied elites, the powerful, connected, political movers and shakers and the like, is a tad disingenuous to say the least ..

I'll tell you what is some other really sick shit . the fact that this cancer, these cretins who abuse children are now "politicized' for usage by syncopant team USA and camp followers, for their own nefarious aims and purposes to propagandize ... Not as sick as the crimes and perpetrators of the crimes themselves, I'll grant you, but God Damn, gotta be running a close second ..

Once again ..

Here is a special family story out of Bammy .. read it and weep .. I could not care less how the fuck they voted  .. irrelevant

343 Guilty Spark's picture

Don't be a fucking retard. The Hollywood sex scandal has seen witnesses corroborate the accusers accusations as well as evidence to further support it. So much so that the accused have admitted to it.

In Judge Moore's case the accusers have supplied no witnesses, no evidence, the details of the stories don't hold up well under scrutiny, one of the accusers is known to work for the Judges political opponents, and the news source that published the allegations has been found to be offering money for 'dirt' on Judge Moore.

Until actual fucking evidence is supplied, we all should be suspicious. So please shut the fuck up and go back to your hole.

StreetObserver's picture

Keurig coffee pods contain plastic that causes cancer when heated water flows across it. Plus the aluminum foil causes alzheimer's.

Never use a plastic anything coffeemaker. Get an all glass one.

Mr. Universe's picture

French Press is the way to go. K-cups? What a load of crap. Well I guess it's OK if your like poorly brewed stale coffee.

homiegot's picture

Only fags drink coffee from a Keurig.

swmnguy's picture

No way.  All the real fags I know use a press pot.  Only wannabe fags would use a Keurig.

Giant Meteor's picture

Well done ..

It is important to get our fag memes correct ..

homiegot's picture

So you must be one of the wannabe fags.

AlphaSeraph's picture

Meanwhile in Krugman land, he just can't stop pleasuring himself to this story.

E.F. Mutton's picture

Being a Pussy comes at a cost.

I use a percolator anyway.  More tasty, and with no plastic waste or Pandering Faggotry.

Schmuck Raker's picture

This country's lost it

dark pools of soros's picture

How many people moving to Alabama to fuck 16 year olds now that the nation knows its legal? Will Hollywood rebrand there?

Pernicious Gold Phallusy's picture

I think it's 16 in Massachussetts, too, and probably a few more.

Navymugsy's picture

French press kicks ass. Requires a little more work but at least you won't have to start jones-ing from a boycott.

spieslikeus's picture

This. French Press is the shizz

swmnguy's picture

Ahem--Round these here parts that's a "Freedom Press," and you'd best not forget it.

old_cynic's picture

Well I am in the market for a new coffee maker and I certainly won't be buying a Keurig.

saldulilem's picture

Idiot, boycott means you don't buy the product, not buy the whole lot to give away. The more you buy the more they make money, tricky isn't it?

shimmy's picture

What morons. All this does is show everyone how stupid you are to go and smash something you bought. I imagine many lefties and righties that aren't complete idiots had a good laugh at these clowns. 

This is yet another example of the idiocracy we now live in and I doubt we've reached its peak. 

To Hell In A Handbasket's picture

Nowhere near the peak my friend. Nowhere near it. "Snowflakes to the left, snowflakes to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle of you."

Sofa King's picture

I remember the days of “innocent until proven guilty”. One more nail in the coffin.

Now I’m not passing judgement either way. That should be decided by a jury of his peers not by his persecutors...especially not by some wack-job progressive dickhead.

dark pools of soros's picture

Jury been replace with an app, like taxis

logicalman's picture

Don't hold back, go full Common Law.

It's the only way forward.