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Breaking News: Steve Jobs to take Medical Leave Until End of June





"Team, I am sure all of you saw my letter last week sharing something very personal with the Apple community. Unfortunately, the curiosity over my personal health continues to be a distraction not only for me and my family,but everyone else at Apple as well. In addition, during the past week I have learned that my health-related issues are more complex than I originally thought.

 
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Market Not Sure Why It Is Rallying But Doing So Anyway





S&P posting a 20 point rally in past hour. Talking heads speculating this is due to expections of more taxpayer money about to come and bail everyone out via TARP 2 any second. This obviously did miracles last time around.

 
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More On The Secretive Frank and Charlie





Good to see we are on to something. In our breaking expose from Wednesday we presumed that there is more than meets the eye with Frank DiPascali and Charlie Wiener, the other, heretofore secretive Lipstick building 17th floorites.

 
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Survival of the Gatest





Well the 2008 hsbc numbers are out. In a year that one would be shocked there were any winners at all (except for Paulson of course... Paulson could make money on Pluto, blind, limbs chopped off, without oxygen, a bloomberg terminal or his copy of Dow 100,000: Fact or Fiction), here are the funds that will shortly need to raise all gates once investors realize these are likely the only places where money can still be redeemed:

 
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Quick Robin, to the Mad-Mobile, so We Can Escape with the Mad-Plane





Because we all know the old man has an escape plan up his sleeve, that may very well include a top secret Mad-Cave somewhere deep inside 133 East 64th street (if anyone has blueprints for the house, please send to us), Zerohedge is very curious to find out where exactly Bernie's Legacy 600 is parke

 
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Mad-Cave Museum Deal Closer Than You Think





Seems Mad-Man overestimated his triathlon skills in getting to Tetterboro and the Mad-Jet before the FBI could catch up with him.

 
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There Can Be Only One!!!





We all know about West vs. East, 2-Pac vs. Notorious B.I.G., LA vs NY, etc... How does this express itself in the HF community where most managers are either grads of Steinberg-Dietrich Hall (that Huntsman hall phallic monstrosity will never take the place of the brick facade that Saul Steinberg's Reliance renovated with a whole pile of hard-earned, scandal-free dollars) or ex-Yale Lacrosse players, yet where on occasion you may find the odd Westsider... And they can be quite floral....

 
Tyler Durden's picture

Quick Robin, to the Mad-Mobile, so We Can Escape with the Mad-Plane





Because we all know the old man has an escape plan up his sleeve, that may very well include a top secret Mad-Cave somewhere deep inside 133 East 64th street (if anyone has blueprints for the house, please send to us), Zerohedge is very curious to find out where exactly Bernie's Legacy 600 is pa

 
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Semi-Breaking News: Citi Out With Confirmation of Nothing





Citi Statement

Business Wire

NEW YORK -- January 13, 2009

Citi today said that the company is in discussions with Morgan Stanley (NYSE: MS) concerning a possible combination of the retail brokerage business operated under the Smith Barney name and the wealth management business operated by Morgan Stanley. No definitive agreement has been reached, and no assurance can be given that any such agreement will be reached. Beyond this statement, Citi has no further comment at this time.

 
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Investing Was The Beginning, Now It's Moved Out Of The Basement, It's Called Project Mayhem





And Mayhem it is, as investors are running for the hills, unwilling to find out who the next Madoff turns out to be, and end up stuck with a big fat donut. According to an analysis done by Hedgebay, a secondary hedge fund interest market maker, the average dollar invested in hedge funds traded for an all time low of 87 cents as of November (waiting for December numbers with baited breath).

 
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One Day Archeologists Will Care About This





This explains pretty well why some people still choose to make the mega rich even mega richer (although less so with each passing day). Why there is a video of it out there is really odd... Props to hedgefundblogger for tracking this down.

 
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Money-Grubbing, Cholesterol-Spiking Idea of the Day





As anyone who has ever visited the West Coast will attest, Jack In The Box is the greatest hamburger joint that has ever lived. In-N-Out (mmmm....

 
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Steel Partners in Need of Serious Rust Removal





Steel Partners, the fund of activist investor and up-to-now wunderkind manager Warren Lichtenstein, has fallen for some tough times.

 
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Another Kick in Cox' Balls





All you ever needed to know about Icon Wealth Management, that the Government already knew of course. Courtesy of Marc Schrenker

http://www.adviserinfo.sec.gov/IAPD/Content/Search/iapd_OrgSearch.aspx

type in Icon Wealth and read to your heart's delight.

Looks like this is Mini-Bernie at best. He has filed $27mm in assets with the SEC, and only 182 accounts.

 
Tyler Durden's picture

Money-Grubbing, Cholesterol-Spiking Idea of the Day





As anyone who has ever visited the West Coast will attest, Jack In The Box is the greatest hamburger joint that has ever lived. In-N-Out (mmmm....

 
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