European Mission Accomplished: Everyone Is Now Thoroughly Baffled With Bullshit

Tyler Durden's picture

Some time ago we suggested that in lieu of actual practicable solutions (and a promise to recapitalize several trillion worth of insolvent banks absent some magic money printing tree or gold coin defecating unicorn, is so stupid only the market ramping vacuum tube algos can believe, if only for a few hours), the only thing left for Europe's leaders is to baffle absolutely everyone with relentless bullshit. Judging by the following Bloomberg news screencapture, they have now succeeded.

Presented without further snark.

h/t Charlie

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CashCowEquity's picture


eureka's picture

No big deal - scizophrenic information is spawned every day at Bloomberg.

flacon's picture

The non-edible barbaric yellow metal is up, despite the European "tradition" of obfuscation. 

HoofHearted's picture

Maybe I'm missing something, but isn't this what seems to happen all the time whether it is Timmay or the Beard or Merkozy? The markets are so fucking confused, that we have actually had several up days. I've decided to play along and take some profits by playing follow the sheeple. It's worked way too nicely...

I know how this ends, so I've got plenty of PMs plus the necessities. We won't discuss those in case the government trolls are out looking for new homegrown terrorists...

DeadFred's picture

I'm pleased they've at least got a new headline. For the last few weeks the headlines have been flipping between

Stocks higher on hope of euro fix


Stocks drop on Greece contagion fears

Lazy writers were just recycling the same stories day after day with a few edits.

tumblemore's picture

"The markets are so fucking confused"

They're being so manipulated by Bernanke's little mood-altering computer pixies the "markets" aren't operating as genuine markets at the moment. They're financial Hollywood.

Shvanztanz's picture

I was just over on but the last entry was three hours ago, last entry had something to do with an emergency secret mobilization? I dunno. Crazy Germans.

Shvanztanz's picture

Wie sagt man, "strike a nerve" auf Deutsch?

PY-129-20's picture

Standardübersetzung: "einen wunden Punkt treffen" :)

Die Weiße Rose's picture

as for Europe,

we have been through Austerity before and we have learned our lesson well.

most Europeans I know have lots of savings stashed away,which is what Europeans do:

Make hay while the sun shines,so you can hold out for the dark and cold winter.

as for the USA, this will be a very long and dark, cold winter of discontent -

so take care...


deeznutz's picture

savings in a potentially worthless currency?

Idiocracy's picture

exactly.  every good journalist needs to hedge their bullshit

Crisismode's picture

Merkel farts and the markets melt-up.

Sarkozy farts and the markets melt-down.

When they both fart simultaneously the markets become manic-depressive for a few nanoseconds.

And then resume the climb upwards on bad news, good news, no news at all.


derek_vineyard's picture

Just read your charts......words are worthless.

bullonparade's picture

This is Bloomberg bullshit, not European bullshit. If Merkels bullshit gets interpreted in 2 distinct ways only one can be true bullshit. just goes to show how anxious the market is to explain the the European governement has ny executive power at all.

slaughterer's picture

Markets getting filled by hot air just like the Hindenburg blimp. 

chump666's picture

The BS trade is upon us.

also China just cut fuel prices ala curb inflation, more like China's massive deflation dump coming.

Asia is looking tasty again

Sheens Liver's picture

Wow, and butterflies are flying out of my ass too!

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

A flying unicorn is circling my back yard.


MsCreant's picture

I have decided to become a surrealator and sell surrealestate.

nasdaq99's picture

indeed. they are trying to wear the world out so that somebody will make the mistake of handing them large sums of cash with which to deal with this problem, because the problem is to big for them to actually fix.

Oracle of Kypseli's picture

The sad thing is that they themeselves believe that shit. the world is upside down and yes it can get more convoluted.

Vendetta's picture

Which shit do they believe?   I tend to believe it is the shifts in the dung beetle migration patterns that move the markets.

Newsboy's picture

OK, where is the money from all those Treasuries that got sold?

I smell a rat.





And now it's over, crashing hard...

upWising's picture

OK boys and girls, it's time for ART.

Take a crayon out of your box.  Any color will do and you can use either end of the crayon.

Now, boys and girls:  draw a square circle.  Or a round square.

¿ Wasn't that easy ?

reader2010's picture

They need to lure lots of zeros and lots of Os back to the game.

Cursive's picture


Many a commenter has accussed the public of being fat, dumb and stupid and those criticisms are warranted; however, I think the current economic malaise has enlightened much of the public to the lies and theft of the political and banking class.  We're in the final stage now.

reader2010's picture

Final stage? You really think so? I have talked to a lot of people,  and my general feeling is that most of them still firmly believe the lies in the form of popaganda sold by MSM. You really think those OWSers can aim at the root cause of their agony? 

Cursive's picture


What's an OWSer?  People deal with grief differently and it is difficult for people to change ingrained behavior/responses overnight.  Have you asked them how they like this economy?  Asked them how wonderful their lives have changed for the better in the last 3 years?  Asked them if their savings have gone up or down and how they feel about it?  Asked them how they feel about bankers in general?  Maybe you have, but I can tell you I get very direct and very negative responses to all of the above.

JLee2027's picture

OWS = Occupy Wall Street.

Is this the beginning of the war? OWSer's versus the Elites? Cage Match!

Cursive's picture


Thanks for the help.  Haven't given OWS much thought.  I'm thinking the AA DDOS hack on 10/10/11 is much bigger than OWS.

Shvanztanz's picture

300 million men enter! 299,900 leave!


300 million men enter! 299,900 leave!


300 million men enter! 299,900 leave!


skip the violence, just occupy all the cabs and subways, then no one can get to work! 



reader2010's picture


You're right and people are fed up with, guess what?, politicians. They hope they will be able to vote some others, such as Ron Paul,  in to "change" their lives for better real soon. At least that's I was led to believe. However,many of them fail to comprehend that  the real problem is the Infinite Growth monetary paradigm,  that requires more and more debt serfs created everyday in this world.  What those in the Occupy protests all over the country are masturbating to is their glorified American Dream, that's sold to them by the MSM/Hollywood/Very Big Money. No change is possible, I am afraid, as long as they can't go after the root cause of their agony.

Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

They say Americans are a billion + pounds over weight cumulatively.  I for one think a crash will do America good.  We can live off our fat stores for a long time and then we will all be good and skinny with less health problems and therefore less health care costs.  


PS has anyone seen the Big Wet Fart Rynak around.

Vendetta's picture

I'm not so sure what people believe makes a difference as to what 'stage' in the collapse we are in.  Its the level of the deception that they believe in likely correlates to the level of psychological trauma they will experience when the final stage, monetary system exit stage left, occurs.

Pavlov's dogs' conditioning to salivate at a ring of a bell was erased by the trauma of torrential floods wiping out his laboratories in Moscow. 

cranky-old-geezer's picture



The only "stage" we entered was Sept '08 when really massive bailouts started.  We've been in that "stage" ever since.  And it's going to continue until the Euro and US dollar are simply worthless.

This isn't a sovereign debt crisis.  It's the biggest citizen looting spree in human history.

If bailouts weren't possible, banks would have told irresponslble governments to sink or swim a long time ago.

But banks know they can tap citizens' wealth anytime they wish, so they keep lending money they know will never be paid back.

It's a huge fucking plan to bleed citizens dry.  Slowly.  Steadily.  Under the cover story of "sovereign debt crisis".

This isn't going to end.  It's going on and on till they bleed everybody dry.

Shvanztanz's picture

I had to give you an up, since I agree 100% and to give you props for upgrading from ass to pussy.

Sorry, just couldn't pass up a watermelon like that.

Shvanztanz's picture

So, I guess now it's ass again.

Whether you meant to or not, you've proved that all it takes to occupy an idiot is to show alternating images of ass and pussy.

Problem solved, angry masses sedated, print away!

cranky-old-geezer's picture



I don't know why it switches back and forth.  I uploaded that luscious cameltoe this morning, much clearer in the larger shot, these 40 x 40 gif avatars lose much (lovely) detail :)

If I could post a pic I'd post the larger shot.  Let's just say it's lickingly good :)

Shvanztanz's picture

one or the other, it suits me fine, and the other readers probably don't know they have you to thank for distracting me long enough to write that much less inane shit

good on you

Mariposa de Oro's picture

I believe a name change is in order.  May I suggest horney old geezer?

cranky-old-geezer's picture



Perhaps you're right.

I chose that handle back when I was really pissed about all the Wall Street looting going on. But since then I've realized, hey, it's just how things are now. They're going to bleed the people dry eventually, no one is gonna stop 'em, accept it, prepare for it individually, everybody else is going down, just the way it is.

So I'm not really cranky anymore, and not really old either, and not really a geezer either come to think of it.

Women say I look like a slim version of Mike Ditka, mustache and all, if that gives you some idea. I don't know, just reporting what they say.

So yea, maybe a handle change is in order.

And it's h-o-r-n-y btw :)

PonziBeaver's picture

We do need a bit more resolution than 40 x 40. I can barely see my tinfoil hat.

I caught a glimpse of that camel-toe for a moment before it flipped back. It was luscious!

buzzsaw99's picture

this is bullish

Yen Cross's picture

 This was planned! Buzz, I did my Bratwhorst and loved it ! Offt o  / a  spoon fed Asia.  Stay long Green Backs>

williambanzai7's picture

A pledge ain't worth the piece of paper it's written on.