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Count Vikula Mid-Term Grade in Accounting Alchemy: A+





In the latest round of government-mediated financial synesthesia, Citi is parting with its brokerage crown jewel and making it seems like a sweet deal for investors, tax payers (also investors), and the three or four other people who care about the mass insanity that occurs in present day capit

 
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Ze Germans Are Spending





BN *GERMAN COALITION PARTIES AGREE TO SPEND EU50 BLN ON STIMULUS

Good thing people are at least buying their bonds...mmm wait, nevermind... Oh well, fire up the reichsmark printing press and get those wheelbarrels ready

 
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Wall Street's diarrhea shi(f)ting to Park Street er... Avenue





One can follow the daily creation and destruction of wealth simply by looking at the constantly shifting landscape in New York. Could Ezra Merkin's recent fall from grace, from the top of GMAC, and potentially from duplex 6/7B spell some days of uncertainty in this otherwise inperturbable bastion of high money, 740 Park.
 
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I've got a stomachful of Xanax. I took what was left of a bottle. It might have been too much.





You can't make this shit up. All you Hollywood agents scouring under the skirts of Daily Grill waitresses for your next script look no further (I will merely accept a firm virtual handshake and advance rights for my upcoming book), and all you employed sales people, here is a brilliant idea for how to bring your career to new heights...

 
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Just as All The Media Choppers Vacate Midtown...





BN 17:55 *U.S. GOVERNMENT SAYS IT WILL APPEAL MADOFF BAIL RULING

Time to refuel the Embraer

 
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Bulumics Can Not Save Fake Sugar from Chapter 11





If only sugar free meant debt free... In sweet vindication for fat people everywhere, Merisant today filed for bankruptcy. The maker of Equal and Canderel fake sugar sought Chapter 11 protection. The Pegasus Capital portfolio company (hm...
 
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I've got a stomachful of Xanax. I took what was left of a bottle. It might have been too much.





You can't make this shit up. All you Hollywood agents scouring under the skirts of Daily Grill waitresses for your next script look no further (I will merely accept a firm virtual handshake and advance rights for my upcoming book), and all you employed sales people, here is a brilliant idea for how to bring your career to new heights...

 
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Nortel Bondholders Biting Their Nails





As we reported on January 9, the likelihood of a Nortel bankrtupcy filing this coming Wednesday (coupon payment date) is high to quite high. Recent rumors from the underground community had suggested that Huawei was licking its chops at NT's metropolitan ethernet business and would pay up to $1 billion. However, based on reports from forbes and debtwire from earlier today, the deal is dead in the water. Ooops.

 
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...But Can Lose Even More Weight By Walking There





Is Business Week merely slapping the faces of all those investors who in recent weeks bought a slew of follow-on stock issued by airline companies (probably the only companies raising capital in the past few months as $35 barrel/oi

 
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Show me the mo' money





BN 11:25 *OBAMA ASKS BUSH TO NOTIFY CONGRESS OF INTENT TO SEEK TARP FUNDS

speaks for itself

 
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Mad-Cave Blueprints Procured





Well, it isn't apartment 14A/B in 740 Park, but Bernie's $7 million Guantanamo will make most studio and one bedroom NY dwellers green with unponziated envy.

 
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Citi Lives the Telecom Dream as Nortel is About to Wake





It is good to see that even as the good men leaving the yellow van carrying a straight jacket (specifically outfitted with a bro/manzier for obvious purposes) are climbing up the arduous 59 stor

 
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Dead Men Walking in South Beach





In what is the greatest annual boondoggle in the hedge fund community, the JP Morgan South Beach Conference, this year held February 2-4 in the Loews Hotel, one should be able to spot some very good leading trends of the credit markets for this year.

 
Tyler Durden's picture

Mad-Cave Blueprints Procured





Well, it isn't apartment 14A/B in 740 Park, but Bernie's $7 million Guantanamo will make most studio and one bedroom NY dwellers green with unponziated envy.

 
Tyler Durden's picture

Friday Night Rumor: MGM Selling Mirage to Penn Natl





After losing his shirt, bifocals, and the backup tire of his Jeep Cherokee by assuming that Ford and GM are actually competitive in the global car market, Kirk Kerkorian is allegedly selling one of his prize jewels on the LV strip: the MGM Mirage.

 
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