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"A Great Disturbance In The Bourse"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

"I felt a great disturbance in the Bourse, as if 216 hedge funds suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened."

What happened? Cook is speaking at the Apple shareholder meeting, and the topic of a dividend of the company's $100 billion in cash has come up.

  • COOK IN 'ACTIVE DISCUSSIONS' ABOUT WHAT TO DO WITH APPLE CASH
  • COOK SAYS APPLE'S CASH IS 'MORE THAN WE NEED TO RUN A COMPANY'

Of course, if there is a dividend, the magic is over. In the meantime, a drop in the stock is still inconceivable.

Next up: iBook?

  • APPLE CEO COOK SAYS FACEBOOK `FRIEND,' NOT FOE
  • APPLE CEO SAYS APPLE, FACEBOOK `COULD DO MORE TOGETHER'

Or maybe facebook merely helps Apple create an app that helps it run Twitter?

title inspired by Chris Adams

 

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Thu, 02/23/2012 - 15:58 | 2190207 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

iForgot

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 21:13 | 2191361 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

iHurt. too much laffing.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 15:36 | 2190079 gmak
gmak's picture

lol to you all. Good stuff!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 15:39 | 2190087 Kastorsky
Kastorsky's picture

Bush, Fed, Europe Banks in $15 Trillion Fraud, All Documented

http://www.veteranstoday.com/2012/02/21/intel-exclusive-trillion-dollar-terror-exposed/

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 20:53 | 2191320 Revolution_star...
Revolution_starts_now's picture

"Bush, Fed, Europe Banks in $15 Trillion Fraud, All Documented "

Ishock?

Idoubt it.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 15:43 | 2190101 Budd aka Sidewinder
Budd aka Sidewinder's picture

ONE Tech company - Minister of Information

ONE Energy company - Minister of Sun & Wind (Krum)

ONE Bank - Minister of Finance (already completed)

ONE Ag company - Minister of Corn

ONE Retailer - Minister of Garments & Soylents

ONE Health Care co - Minister of Health & Anti Depressants

ONE Media co - Minister of Word Warlockery

Does that about cover it?  Everything flows up through these entities to Washington and vice versa.

 

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 15:41 | 2190106 geotrader
geotrader's picture

The bource has a "Dark side", which feeds off emotions such as ianger, ijealousy, ifear, and ihate.

 


Thu, 02/23/2012 - 15:44 | 2190116 WoodMizer
WoodMizer's picture

icanhasfail

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 15:46 | 2190130 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

I am Dyslexic of Borg.  Prepare to have your ass laminated.

What!  Wrong genre... I'm so embarrassed.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 15:48 | 2190143 steve from virginia
steve from virginia's picture

 

Ha haha! Thanks for making me laugh!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKtciRCVpFE&feature=related

Okay, is Apple a buy w/ a dividend? What SORT of divvie?

What is long-term prospects for AAPL? It was Job's company, strip away the nice plastic and you have a fucking computer. I have a computer right now. (Can I get another ten years out of it? Yes.)

Fuck you AAPL. Add a divvie and AAPL becomes GM, a dinosaur.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 16:52 | 2190503 trav7777
trav7777's picture

if you've seen their products lately, you know they already are.  the iPhone4 weighs as much as an average dinosaur.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 21:19 | 2191372 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

iDino4 ?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 15:50 | 2190152 TradingJoe
TradingJoe's picture

iShort :(|):

 

STFD

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 21:21 | 2191374 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

me. me. iHates Applz.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 15:50 | 2190156 Iconoclast
Iconoclast's picture

No one's done I Spartacus? ..too subtle..?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 15:52 | 2190170 Pennywise
Pennywise's picture

Help me Obi Wan Bernanke, you're my only hope.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 15:53 | 2190176 Pennywise
Pennywise's picture

I am Bernanke of Borg, resistance is futile.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 16:04 | 2190260 The Shootist
The Shootist's picture

iThink

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 16:11 | 2190290 anonnn
anonnn's picture

Iboxed--thinking you are thinking out-of-the box.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 16:21 | 2190342 lotsoffun
lotsoffun's picture

the personal vacuum cleaner.  great t-shirt.  'Isuck'.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 16:29 | 2190374 Jena
Jena's picture

uniform for hookers?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 16:50 | 2190471 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Or male senators' pages. It's a boy's club ya know. 

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 21:23 | 2191380 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Put your hair in a ponytail and don't wear lipstick; you'll get by alright.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 21:32 | 2191397 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Put your hair in a ponytail and don't wear lipstick; you'll get by alright. oh noz; two stupid posts instead of one. my ibad.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:22 | 2190651 ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

You know what they say...An Apple a Day

 

Just enDOW it with an Apple

 

http://www.cnbc.com/id/46498385

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 17:26 | 2190675 flyonmywall
flyonmywall's picture

iFaceMicroApple merger !

 

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:34 | 2191109 johnjkiii
johnjkiii's picture

Wait & see what happens when the announce the iPencil, esp. the iPencil2

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