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JPMorgan To Issue CMBS Backed By... Defaulted Loans

Tyler Durden's picture




 

No, this is serious news. Dow Jones reports:

JP. Morgan Chase & Co. (JPM) next year plans to issue the first U.S. commercial mortgage-backed securities supported by defaulted loans since the 1990s as it revives a practice that regulators used to extricate the nation from the savings-and-loan crisis.

 

The investment bank has approached rating agencies with two pools of distressed loans that it acquired from European banks and other financial institutions, according to people familiar with the matter.

Uh.....

111011010010101010101011 Buffer Overflow

#Ref! #Ref! #Ref! #Ref! #Ref! #Ref! #Ref! #Ref! #Ref!

 

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Tue, 11/15/2011 - 17:04 | 1880228 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

I'll design the prospectus. They can pay me in .999 fine physical - in advance.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 17:05 | 1880229 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

Don't see it yet? They're cashing out after 4 years of false starts in the market. They don't want to be the bag holders. They want you to be. 

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 17:06 | 1880231 YesWeKahn
YesWeKahn's picture

This time, it isn't Banker's fault, it is 100% encouraged by the fraud reserve headed by the dickhead Bernanke.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 17:07 | 1880237 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

just because Jamie Dimon can

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 17:07 | 1880239 Daedalus
Daedalus's picture

Actually, securitisations of NPLs (Non Performing Loans) have been done for a number of years.

The idea is this:

Loans which are secured on adequate collateral can be money good, even after they have defaulted (assuming the security is sufficient and enforceable)

However, banks may have to hold punitive levels of capital against such loans, or otherwise might be incentivised to dispose of them.

Investors who are interested in taking the credit risk on such defaulted loans may need leverage since they have limited funds and seek high returns.

The senior ranking tranche of a portfolio of NPLs can be highly rated since the question is simply one of timing of recovery.

So that how it 'works' - of course the degree to which the rating agencies or investors really understand the enforcement and/or recovery risk on the security is another matter...

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 18:19 | 1880527 saulysw
saulysw's picture

I suspected it would be something like that. Thanks for the clarification. It still smells fishy to me though, I think a lot of valuations and even claims of title are dubious these days.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 18:45 | 1880671 cdub
cdub's picture

Yep, these were done quite a bit back during the RTC days.  I kept up with a few that I saw come out of non-performing pools from good bank / bad bank arrangements and the higher rated tranches did ok.

Of course the economy was turning around by then so the value of the collateral wasn't much in question, it was just a matter of timing.  Also back then the nature of commercial real estate was a little more gentlemanly than today as well such that street reputation from your last deal could effect your forthcoming deal.

All that said, I'm sure the ratings agencies will put their best people on it!  And it will still be a crappy analysis since their best just aren't that good at anything other than historical statistics.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 17:07 | 1880240 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

When I think we cannot get a more insane financial system, I get proved incorrect.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 17:08 | 1880242 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

BS of CMBS can surely be abbreviation for bull and s**t.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 17:13 | 1880254 Tsunami Wave
Tsunami Wave's picture

Really JP Morgan? Really?????

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 17:13 | 1880255 Ecoman11
Ecoman11's picture

Rated BBB. Backed By Bailouts.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 17:14 | 1880256 TooBearish
TooBearish's picture

JPM needs to "originate" this instrument so Paulson can buy CDs on it....

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 17:16 | 1880260 nyse
nyse's picture

Smart. Makes sense.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 17:16 | 1880262 Tsunami Wave
Tsunami Wave's picture

How about they explore selling ABS's from worthless crap to african governments so they can easily dupe them into buying them..  From there they can split the principles from the agents on their end and leave them holding the bags when their derivatives expire

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 17:18 | 1880267 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

 

 

Soylent Green!

Food!  Food!  We have Food!

Soylent Green!

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 17:33 | 1880285 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

CNBC just flashed the headline that Soros has got some put options on GLD - huh ?

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 17:27 | 1880286 s2man
s2man's picture

Wow.  I look away for a minute, and, well, I don't know what to say.  I would try to say something witty, but I am dumbfounded. Wow.

Um, gold Bitchez!?

Edit: I know. Don't they have a moral obligation not to sell shit?

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 17:26 | 1880290 buzlightening
buzlightening's picture

Until all risk; bad failing debt is dumped on the sheeple in pensions, 401K's; IRA's, or any other fund to stuff we the people with worthless paper, nothing should surprise anyone.  western bankstering vampire squids are the most heartless bastards to walk the earth.  Monetary scorched earth policies of an evil empire. 

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 17:27 | 1880291 koperniuk666
koperniuk666's picture

Hi Tyler - i couldnt find that report on DJ (or JPM)......

would be glad for a link.......

I ALWAYS check......

Sorry to doubt  - but my name was Thomas in a previous life.....

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 17:28 | 1880296 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

Expect a fund crammed full of vacation property next to Fukishima.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 17:38 | 1880333 SwingForce
SwingForce's picture

They didn't buy them from ANYBODY, come on, guys. Are you gonna fall for that?

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 17:39 | 1880335 New American Re...
New American Revolution's picture

That's funny.    This means that the Federal Reserve wouldn't even buy the stuff and put it into its phantom reserves like Maiden Lane (lain, as in turbo virgin skull fuck), Maiden Lane I, and its sequel, Maiden Lane II.    Not to mention the QE 2.5 we are experiencing now as the FED buys MBS from the insolvent to put alongside the likes of AMLF, CPFF, PDCF, TSLF, TALF, & TARP.   

After eating all that shit, the FED can't (or won't) try to digest this shit, so you know its really SHIT.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 17:43 | 1880352 El Gordo
El Gordo's picture

Look, just buy a portfolio of crap with a face value of $1,000,000 for a cash outlay of $100,000.  Obviously, you would book the crap at face value, and walah, you're a millionaire and it only cost you $100,000 to become one.  This enables individuals and small firms to realize some of the fancy book keeping techniques the big boys get to use.  Of course, for tax purposes, you would show a loss of $90,000 on the $100,000 that you initially spent.  See how easy this is.  Next thing you know you will have your own TV show driving a fancy car to a big McMansion and telling people how easy it is to make money with your simple program which you will sell them for the low, low price, today only, of $39.95 while they last.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 18:20 | 1880534 TheJokingJollyRoger
TheJokingJollyRoger's picture

First Bank Of America and now JPMorgan.

 I wonder who is next on the chopping block......

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 18:26 | 1880564 Hannibal
Hannibal's picture

Anyone still turning over his cash to the Wall Street scum deserves to loose his ass.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 18:31 | 1880589 Bansters-in-my-...
Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

Which European Banks...?

What Financial  Institutions...?

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 18:34 | 1880607 Stuart
Stuart's picture

How perfectly captured in a single headline, all that is broken!

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 18:48 | 1880684 Georgesblog
Georgesblog's picture

They might as well be selling rotten produce. This smells as bad as the settling ponds at a sewage treatment plant.

http://georgesblogforum.wordpress.com/2011/11/02/the-daily-climb-2/

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 19:00 | 1880730 jomama
jomama's picture

what's even more of a joke, is that when i showed this article to my co-workers they either gave me a blank stare or just plain didn't care. 

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 19:01 | 1880736 chunga
chunga's picture

UPDATE jpm_docket
   SET entry_type='AFFIDAVITS', entry_subtype1='AMOUNTS DUE AND OWING', entry_subtype2='NOTICE'
WHERE entry_type=''
  AND MATCH(entry) AGAINST('+aff* +amount* +due* +notice*' IN BOOLEAN MODE);

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 19:06 | 1880752 Paul Thomason
Paul Thomason's picture

What should happen is that when they submit this they should be summarily arrested and sent to jail.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 19:09 | 1880764 FlimFlam
FlimFlam's picture

Endgame desperation: must get money.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 19:10 | 1880769 Coldfire
Coldfire's picture

JPMoron.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 19:10 | 1880770 TuesdayBen
TuesdayBen's picture

Just had a flashback to a long-ago hunting trip, when I crapped in the woods and my dog wolfed it down.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 19:11 | 1880774 steelhead23
steelhead23's picture

Brilliant!  Let's see, there are likely thousands of pension fund managers looking to increase yield.  I'd bet JPM will be offering 5% or more on these hot rocks.  The real question is: how much for a CDS based on this stuff?  Is that John Paulson I see smiling in the next room?

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 19:13 | 1880780 Alex Kintner
Alex Kintner's picture

Uh oh , More more Cow Anus Sausage to be crammed up the taxpayers arse at 100 cents on the dolla'. Terrific...
Fubar Overflow.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 19:14 | 1880781 Spooky Polish
Spooky Polish's picture

Bail me out from this madness...

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 19:18 | 1880790 quacker
quacker's picture

Why is there not revolution?

We're way past any injustice that was done to the colonists by the Crown. Way past it. The American people are being openly gutted, why are bankers not being killed?

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 19:22 | 1880809 Its_the_economy...
Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

Hey JPM is onto something. Take this vomit w no clear title due to MERS bullshit recordation resulting in splitting of note from det holder w no clear way to rejoin the twain and thus no standing to sue for foreclosure, sell it to retarded portfolio mangers at any price (it doesn't matter because its worthless anyway), take the money, run like hell before the court system delivers the bad news to the buyer. Or better yet, sell it to the G-Mint, have them sue for foreclosure, no federal judge will say no and ice his career, establish new title and sell to crony capitalists , bank the future payback when revolving door starts to turn.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 19:22 | 1880810 Its_the_economy...
Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

Hey JPM is onto something. Take this vomit w no clear title due to MERS bullshit recordation resulting in splitting of note from det holder w no clear way to rejoin the twain and thus no standing to sue for foreclosure, sell it to retarded portfolio mangers at any price (it doesn't matter because its worthless anyway), take the money, run like hell before the court system delivers the bad news to the buyer. Or better yet, sell it to the G-Mint, have them sue for foreclosure, no federal judge will say no and ice his career, establish new title and sell to crony capitalists , bank the future payback when revolving door starts to turn.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 19:24 | 1880813 chump666
chump666's picture

FLASH CRASH ON GOLD! CHECK YOUR 15MIN charts....

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 19:39 | 1880854 Hedge Fund of One
Hedge Fund of One's picture

Ok, so you made me look. Thanks for nothing, chump! 
:-)

 

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 19:24 | 1880815 au_bayitch
au_bayitch's picture

01000110 01010101 01000011 01001011 00100000 01001010 01010000 01001101

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 19:31 | 1880833 FutureShock
FutureShock's picture

Watch there will be a bigger tax break if you purchase than the loss on these investments. So the rich will clean them up, pay less tax and the gov will have to tax us surfs even more so it all works out the tax payers pay without really knowing. Slight of hand is what it will all be about to stick it to the middle class without minimal revolt.

 

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 19:32 | 1880836 Wannabee
Wannabee's picture

Upgrade to 64 bit. Buffer overflow problem solved.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 19:37 | 1880849 Hedge Fund of One
Hedge Fund of One's picture

Maybe they can get Bernie Made-off out of retirement to run it from the joint. He'll know how to operate it and sell it to the dumb money.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 20:02 | 1880911 Dr. Acula
Dr. Acula's picture

Federal Government To Reduce Madoff's Sentence If He Can Infiltrate U.S. Economy In 48 Hours And Turn It Around

http://www.theonion.com/articles/federal-government-to-reduce-madoffs-sentence-if-h,26390/

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 19:47 | 1880869 Killer the Buzzard
Killer the Buzzard's picture

Wow... I think the last RTC securitization I saw was back in 93 or 94.  Interesting how the much maligned technology of securitization is being used again. 

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 19:53 | 1880888 mynhair
mynhair's picture

Can't wait for a DPBS.

(Dead Pool Backed Security)

 

 

I'll buy the ones with Barneys Frank in 'em.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 20:07 | 1880921 Pancho Villa
Pancho Villa's picture

They should call them "pre-defaulted" loans.

Are they really that different than peripheral-euro sovereign debt, which seems very likely to default, but just hasn't officially done so yet?

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 20:40 | 1880983 CoolBeans
CoolBeans's picture

That's what they packaged earlier - the "destined for default" loans. 

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 20:11 | 1880929 Bansters-in-my-...
Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

 

Can you buy Credit Default swaps on them.

You know their as good as gold.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 20:11 | 1880930 Catflappo
Catflappo's picture

Well they needed some new product, didn't they, to rival the inanity of the squid being able to buy CDS on itself

 

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 20:14 | 1880935 djsmps
djsmps's picture

Buffer overflow headline #2:

With US Data Improving, Markets May Ignore Europe

http://www.cnbc.com/id/45312374

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 20:19 | 1880946 razorthin
razorthin's picture

Talk about backed by nothing.  How about less than nothing.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 20:26 | 1880956 Sokhmate
Sokhmate's picture

At least they're not backed up by negatrons.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 20:31 | 1880968 CoolBeans
CoolBeans's picture

Really?  Really Chase?

Hmmm, seems like esactly what Chase did before...only difference... the timing of the "fail". 

What a sh*t company.   Are they really that desperate to sell something that they'd package anything?  Oh yeah, right...sorry.  I forgot myself a sec.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 20:43 | 1880988 blindman
blindman's picture

.
.
.
the sucker of last resort must be in the future.
it is a temporal aberration thing. they are proposing,
market making, a security for a future sucker to bear ,
the burden of the fraud of the past, since become the
systemic fix. the art form of
con artistry, high art. all knives and daggers now,
no harmony or melody, no illusion of depth. plain
blood and guts and stealing in broad daylight. the morons
rule the world now.... and some object to people protesting
in the parks and at the churches and temples.
.
europe has enough trouble and fraud to contend with.
they are rejecting the shit wall street sold them, cds
be damned. someone has to sell it to the sucker of last
resort, that would be jpm. the sucker will be the pensioners
or the fed, aka treasury. (taxpayer).
just a guess.
meanwhile, the criminal murdering death department is seeking
further global plans to occupy regions far and wide, australia..etc
to wage campaigns of death and terrorism for the sake of
ideology and ignorance, not to mention stupidity and elitist
arrogance, against those who object to being debt slaves to
the global banking morons who know nothing, do nothing of value,
and produce nothing, create nothing and cannot think or enjoy
even a simple wet dream. yes, we are bettered by simpletons and
ignorant dunces.
life on earth, 2011.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 20:45 | 1880992 rambler6421
rambler6421's picture

OMG!  LOL.  THis is hilarious.

 

libertarian86.blogspot.com

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 21:11 | 1881047 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

JPM going rogue!! By doing so they would be putting a price on toxic mbs. Since the FED is holding a boat load of these but listed att face value, the FED is a risk of having a major haircut on their balance sheet. Will the other shareholder have the stones to stand up to JPM?

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 21:18 | 1881060 jackinrichmond
jackinrichmond's picture

to me, it seems like a 'debt jubilee' for the banks (again). how about a debt jubilee for everyone ?

since we're the ones paying for the morgue's bad bets, we should be able to play too..  <sarc off>

which protest was it that had the guillotine rolled out on the street ?

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 21:25 | 1881072 blindman
blindman's picture

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/nov/15/money-privatised-ste...
.
Money has been privatised by stealth
The greatest privatisation in history has gone unnoticed. It's time to take from the banks the power to produce money
Ben Dyson
guardian.co.uk, Tuesday 15 November 2011 05.47 EST
but only a fraction of the world's money is physical. Photograph: Paul Rapson/Alamy
.
"It's common knowledge that printing your own £10 notes at home is frowned upon by Her Majesty's police. Yet there's a small collection of companies that are authorised to create – and spend – more new money than the counterfeiters have ever been able to print. In industry jargon, these companies are called "monetary and financial institutions", but you probably know them by their street name: "banks".

The money that they create, effectively out of nothing, isn't the paper money that bears the logo of the government-owned Bank of England. It's the electronic money that flashes up on the screen when you check your balance at an ATM. Right now, this electronic money makes up over 97% of all the money in the economy. Only 3% of money is still in that old-fashioned form of real cash that can be touched.

Hard to believe, isn't it? Martin Wolf, one of the experts who sat on the independent commission on banking, put it bluntly, saying in the Financial Times that "the essence of the contemporary monetary system was the creation of money, out of nothing, by private banks' often foolish lending".

Here's how it works. When you ask the bank for the money to buy a one-bedroom box in London, the money that appears in your account isn't borrowed from some prudent grandmother's life savings. In fact, the bank simply types those numbers into your account, creating brand new money that you can now spend. As other banks do exactly the same, the amount of money in the economy grows and grows. Every new mortgage creates new money, which pushes up house prices just a little more and forces the next buyer to borrow even more from the banks. (A more detailed and fully-referenced explanation of this process is given in the book Where Does Money Come From? published by the New Economics Foundation.)

Through this process of creating money, banks have been able to inflate the money supply at a rate of 11.5% a year, pushing up the prices of houses and pricing out an entire generation.

Of course, the flipside to this creation of money is that with every new loan comes a new debt. This is the source of our mountain of personal debt – not money that had been prudently saved up by pensioners, but money that was created out of nothing by banks and lent to anyone and everyone. Eventually the debt burden becomes just too high, and we see the wave of defaults that triggered the start of the ongoing financial crisis.

But how did something as important as money become privatised? How did the power to create money fall into the hands of the same banks who caused the crisis, with such devastating consequences for millions of ordinary people?

Incredibly, the law that makes it illegal to print your own tenners at home has never been updated to apply to the electronic money that is now created by banks. As we began to use electronic money to make the vast majority of payments, cash became less important and the power to create money shifted to the banks that caused the crisis. Without anyone noticing, the power to create money was privatised by stealth.

So while criminal gangs manage to create about £2.5bn of fake cash each year, the banks collectively create more than £100bn a year without breaking a single law. Their reward for doing so is the interest that is currently being collected on nearly every pound in existence. The cost to the rest of us is a lifetime in debt.
" ......

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 21:26 | 1881076 bluestone
bluestone's picture

If they do, at least we will get price discovery.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 21:38 | 1881104 lunaticfringe
lunaticfringe's picture

Are these rated triple A so I'll feel better when I buy?

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 21:39 | 1881106 clocksun
clocksun's picture

so how soon can i buy some cds?

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 21:40 | 1881109 Encroaching Darkness
Encroaching Darkness's picture

Can you pre-emptively sue someone for fraud? Before they even act?

How about putting someone away involuntarily to an asylum, before major anti-social tendencies appear?

Anyone who would touch any of this deserves to be institutionalized, one way or another; final incarceration location dependent only on whether they tried to buy or sell this abomination.

 

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 21:43 | 1881117 chindit13
chindit13's picture

In what few would call "the good ole days", in the hermit kingdom of Bhutan, the Palace staff would clear the monarch's bedpan each morning, dry out what was there, and have it sold in the local market to subjects who knew exactly what it was they were buying (counterfeits aside).  The subjects would then sprinkle the manna from heaven on their own repast, feeling sublime owing to their brush with royalty.

This is the closest historical precedent I can find to what JPM now is trying to do.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 21:52 | 1881146 Nolsgrad
Nolsgrad's picture

Seems kinda a good thing to me actually

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 21:53 | 1881150 LookingWithAmazement
LookingWithAmazement's picture

There will be a massive run to it. Simply demand. No crisis.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 21:54 | 1881160 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

Here's a question for you ...  if they discount these defaulted loans by say 95% then can I buy my loan back?

Lets say you owe $100K and have stopped making payments.  Can you buy your loan back for $5K?

 

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 22:05 | 1881183 RSDallas
RSDallas's picture

Dear ZH'ers,

 

This appears to be a good thing.  They are taking a non performing asset and selling it.  YEA!  My problem is that they stated that these assets were bought from Europe.  We need this to happen in the good old USA!

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 22:08 | 1881189 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

HOW did this help us get tf outa the S&L crisis which was also somewhat fraudulent?

(paste): ...since the 1990s as it revives a practice that regulators used to extricate the nation from the savings-and-loan crisis.

extricate

we need extrication from execration of banksters' excretions?

fade that!

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 22:19 | 1881211 Chuck Walla
Chuck Walla's picture

Pure alchemy - turning shit to gold.

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 22:22 | 1881223 Malachi Constant
Malachi Constant's picture

This innovation reveals that in the nearest future it will be once again legal to sell and buy individuals as slaves (not bank slaves - actual, physical slaves). The first batch, personally blessed by the Archbishop of Detroit, will be made up of loan defaulters. And the eagle of American economy will soar again!

Tue, 11/15/2011 - 22:40 | 1881286 blindman
blindman's picture

and.. the game of illusion has deadly consequences.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_Zhe2UUfcw
Former Ohio Rep. Jim Traficant "Israel Controls America"
.
http://www.australiamatters.com/cms/

http://verbewarp.blogspot.com/2011/03/operation-death-star-australis.html

This morning the words is that by Nov 1 2011 most Australian workers on Australian work sites in Australia owned by US firms will be sacked. Note: Obama signs the Permanent US Military Occupation Agreement with PM Julian Gillard this week.

We are being arse raped!

.
ass raping is not a sustainable model for human progress.
think about it.
it always comes around, that which goes around. call it karma?
you have the power, keep it and use it.

Wed, 11/16/2011 - 00:29 | 1881615 jonjon831983
jonjon831983's picture

So this gives the buyer the right to go... "collect"? Aka break some knees?

Wed, 11/16/2011 - 01:34 | 1881741 Leraconteur
Leraconteur's picture

They are packaging their worthless assets so that at some point in the future they can be marked to fantasy and sold to the FOMC to baillout the 20 TBTF's. This prevents marking to market, price discovery and bank detonation, but it does transfer every ¢ of the bad debt 2003-2011 on to sovereign balance sheets and the taxpayer.

JPM & Crew are end-gaming their garbage so that they can sell it to us at par.

All the bad mortgages, All of 'Em!, will be paid for by the taxpayer.

Wed, 11/16/2011 - 03:06 | 1881829 Overflow-admin
Overflow-admin's picture

DIV/0!

Wed, 11/16/2011 - 06:00 | 1881920 Blkhat117
Blkhat117's picture

of course it makes sense because wall street is living in a finanical fantasy land where the big banks and the fed cannot be wrong so everyone dont worry the US. dollar is safer then gold LOL

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