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How JPMorgan's Latest PR Stunt Blew Up In Its Face

Update: In a shocking turn of events, the FT reports that JPM just canceled the #AskJPM event. The bank said: "#That idea back to the drawing board."

Today, in what is a clear attempt at faux transparency and social media openness, JPM tweeted the following:

Unfortunately for the criminal organization (because after all JPM did admit to violating securities laws), the outcome was not quite as planned...

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Head Of India's FBI Says “If You Can’t Prevent Rape, You Might As Well Enjoy It”

Just in case anyone thought the entire world's wasn't going to the tenth, centrally-planned circle of hell in a handbasket, here comes the head of the Indian FBI to disabuse everyone out of such childish sentiments, thanks to a comment that not even the PR brain trust behind #AskJPM could have conceived. To wit: "India’s top police official was under fire Wednesday for saying, “If you can’t prevent rape, you might as well enjoy it.” And scene.

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"It Is High Time That Central Banking Is Recognized For The Disease It Is"

The notion that the euro area crisis is over has recently been heavily propagated  by EU politicians and the mainstream media. However, it is way too early for such victory laps. Hans-Werner Sinn is perfectly correct in pointing out that the ECB's attempts to restore the 'monetary policy transmission mechanism' by suppressing interest rates in the periphery is going to perpetuate capital malinvestment,delay the necessary reforms and these interventions have actually scared private capital away, as investors require adequate compensation for the risks they are taking. Meanwhile, savers are ultimately paying for this ongoing waste of scarce capital. It is high time that central banking is recognized for the disease it is. Without central banks aiding and abetting credit expansion, this situation would never have arisen. Even a free banking system practicing fractional reserve banking could not possibly have created such a gigantic boom-bust scenario. Money needs to be fully privatized – the State cannot be trusted with it.

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NY Fed Compares The Current Reach-For-Yield To South Sea Bubble Of 1720

Financial innovation is a recurring theme in the NY Fed's review of historic crises. The 1720 South Sea Company structured the national debt in a way that was initially attractive to investors, but the scheme to finance the debt-for-equity swap ultimately proved to be noncredible and the market collapsed. Now fast-forward to 2013 and the five-year anniversary of Lehman's failure. As Fed Governor Jeremy Stein pointed out in a recent speech, a combination of factors such as financial innovation, regulation, and a change in the economic environment, contribute to an overheating of credit markets. So, the NY Fed asks - has the current reach for yield led to ever more complex, leveraged investments and the next credit market bubble? Or will the lessons from the Great Recession last at least a lifetime?

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Guest Post: A Grand Unified Economic Theory?

Last month’s US government shutdown – the result of a partisan standoff in congressional budget negotiations – epitomizes the polarization that prevails in modern economic-policy debates. In developed countries, many advocate a greater role for the state, in order to ensure that promised social benefits are delivered to rapidly aging populations. But relegating free-market principles to the past would simply create a new set of imbalances.

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Something Is Very Wrong With This Picture

Just because very few actually understood the severity of the Cisco earnings guidance, in which the company forecast an 8-10% drop (let's call it 9%) in quarterly revenues when Wall Street was expecting a 4% increase, we have compiled and presented in chart form the historical and projected quarterly revenue data for CSCO to show today's preannouncement in all its gruesome context.

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Bernanke "Explains" 100 Years Of The Federal Reserve (And It's War On Gold?) - Live Webcast

With Janet stealing the limelight, we really don't expect any market-moving fireworks from the lame-duck Bernanke's town hall presentation to US educators this evening. Discussing the Fed's 100-year history and his efforts to bring greater transparency to the central bank's actions, Bernanke will also take questions (which may well be much more interesting than the speech itself). But, to ensure some 'fair-and-balanced' coverage, we offer an alternate history of the Fed's 100-year war against gold (and economic common sense).

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Humpday Humor: Batman Falls On Hard Times - Caught Stealing

You know it's bad when...

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Peter Schiff: "Gold Is Being Undermined By The Fantasy Of A US Recovery"

With gold down 10 of the last 11 days (until today), Peter Schiff tells CNBC that this temporary downswing is due to "the fantasy of a US recovery," that so many actually believe and thus, due to this 'recovery' the Fed will taper back its quantitative easing. "It's not gonna happen," Schiff explains, "we have a phony recovery," and the Fed will more likely increase the amount of QE in order to sustain it, "which is very bullish for gold." Crucially, Schiff clarifies that he "doesn't think a taper is inevitable," as many believe, "but an end to QE won't happen by the Fed's choice - the market will force them to tread on the brakes as the USD collapses." As we noted earlier, Schiff also believes there is an attempt to do "whatever it takes" to pull the EUR down to maintain the USD - but as today's price action shows, it's not working... "Long-term, the fundamentals have never been better for gold."

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Sebelius Comes "Clean" On Obamacare Enrollment Numbers - 79% Miss (Full Report)

Despite rewriting history as usual, proclaiming that the administration 'knew' early numbers would be low (not true since they estimated 500,000 and are rumored to only have ~50,000), and changing the definition of what an enrollee is, and managing our expectations via Carney's press conference, we are intrigued to see what the "huge demand" Kathleen Sebelius expected for Obamacare has actually resulted in... Perhaps she needs to call the helpline! Remember, as Peter Schiff noted, the website can be fixed, but Obamacare can't (unless, of course, more keg-standers and sluts sign up).

*OBAMACARE ENROLLS 106,185 IN PRIVATE HEALTH PLANS IN OCTOBER (26,794 on Federal Exchange,79,391 on State Exchanges)

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Tech Giant Cisco Craters Following Horrifying Guidance

On the surface, CSCO's numbers were not terrible: the company only missed its revenue expectation which is fine: after all nobody cares about revenues anymore and the only thing that matters are adjusted, recasted, pro-forma, non-GAAP, made up EPS numbers excluding virtually all COGS, R&D and SG&A items. Just for kicks, CSCO also threw in that last refuge of a company with no growth prospects: yet another massive $15 billion stock buyback. However, in light of the ongoing idiotic hopium that a recovery is just around the corner, as has been the case for the past 5 years always to no avail, what is cratering the company in after hours trading, was its forecast for the next quarter. It was a doozy:

  • Q2 EPS was expected to be $0.52. Instead the company lowered the outlook to a range of $0.45-$0.47.

But the punchline... wait for it:

  • Q2 revenues was expected up 4%. Instead it will be... drumroll... -8 to -10%!

Yup: the company expected an up to a 10% drop in revenues. Welcome to Mr. Yellen's recovery.

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Gold Spikes, USD Dumps On Yellenomics

After spending a day ignoring the reality of moar money printing, it seems 'natural' non-algo forces released Gold and it is spiking after hours. The USD is fading further, stocks soaring moarer, and treasury yields tanking...

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Yellen's Remarks Released Early, Says "Fed has More Work To Do' Assuring More Dovishness

Just as the market was expecting, and may have been leaked once again, Janet didn't let anyone down. Today's exuberance in stocks matched only by confirmation that Janet Yellen has gained her helicopter pilot's license and is ready to take over the reigns of printer-in-chief from Bernanke. Key extracts:  "Unemployment is down from a peak of 10 percent, but at 7.3 percent in October, it is still too high, reflecting a labor market and economy performing far short of their potential...  I believe the Federal Reserve has made significant progress toward its goals but has more work to do." In short: Get to work Mr. Chairwoman, and allow Congress to keep doing more of what they have been doing under the Fed's central planning: nothing.

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Stocks In Furious Melt Up To Fresh Records

Treasuries rallied 4-6bps on the day (with the POMO-driven belly outperforming). The USD dumped back its knee-jerk gains on Europeans trying desparately to talk down the EUR early on. High yield credit banged higher into the close. VIX was man-handled back under 12.5% (despite being bid early). Oh - and every US equity market malted up in an insane intrday swing which seems to be pinned on the back of expctations Yellen will open her shirt tomorrow showing a big red "S" on it. So while every flow-driven market banged higher in a mad scramble of un-tapery goodnesss, gold went sideways and silver was monkey-hammered (-4.5% on the week). The last 3 days have seen "most shorted" names double the market's performance. Nasdaq's swing from low to high is the largest positive intraday move for the index in 5 months!


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Car-B-Q Part 4: Tesla Plant Fire Sparks Stock Stumble - Live Feed

At first it was the cars, now it is Tesla's Fremont, California plant that has caught fire... according to local newsfire trucks and an ambulance are on scene.

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