Obama Addresses America's Illegal Aliens, Bypasses Congress

Tyler Durden's picture


Obama is about to address (as of 1:15 pm Eastern, so the sandtrap was obviously a monster) America's illegal immigrants, and critical Hispanic vote, advising them he has successfully avoided this pest known as Congress, and that henceforth not all of them will be deported. The immigrants that is, not Congress... although that too may change. Because remember: the only thing better than record part-time jobs is recorder part-time jobs. Also remember: one can't affix a price to securing the vote... of those who are ineligible to vote.

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Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:19 | 2530105 TheCanimal
TheCanimal's picture

Obama is horrible.  Sadly, i doubt Romney will be any different:  More illegal immigration, more wars, more money printing, more crony capitalism, more too big to fail bailouts, more inflation.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:21 | 2530119 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

They call that "peaceful transition of power."

I call it "same shit, different asshole."

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 05:09 | 2531613 Kobe Beef
Kobe Beef's picture

You're right, but Romney POTUS means no Eric Holder AG. That's enough for me.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:38 | 2530106 fuu
fuu's picture


Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:19 | 2530107 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"If you are a citizen, we are making sure you can't leave and your assets are ours.  If you aren't a citizen please come and visit for a while and make use of all those services citizens are taxed out the ass for; and we need your cheap labor and inability to get a fair wage, overtime, or sue for being treated like slaves."

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:19 | 2530109 SeverinSlade
SeverinSlade's picture

Obama's a little on edge today.  Wonder why.

Maybe because he's about to find out if he's going to be re-elected? 

If the Fed doesn't announce QE3 on the 20th and merely extends Twist =>>>> Obama loses to Romney.

Fed announces QE3 on the 20th =>>>>> Obama beats Romney.

Maybe he already knows that Bernanke will do nothing in about a week?

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:20 | 2530112 Watts_D_Matter
Watts_D_Matter's picture

Does that mean Uncle Bongo and Zetuni stay? Dam.... Well I'll be a monkeys uncle!

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:47 | 2530259 TrainWreck1
TrainWreck1's picture

Then you can stay too!


Sat, 06/16/2012 - 05:11 | 2531618 Kobe Beef
Kobe Beef's picture

Bring your family. Here's a free house and cell phone.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 05:55 | 2531639 The Navigator
The Navigator's picture

You mean a monkeys nephew.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:20 | 2530113 larry david
larry david's picture

obama: this is NOT the time for questions!


immediately after speech ends, he walks the fuck away.  made me lol.  

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:20 | 2530114 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

the illegals have already left in droves

this is just to remind them to apply for absentee ballots

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:22 | 2530124 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture


Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:20 | 2530116 CURWAR2012
CURWAR2012's picture

Bad direction, he looked nervous (as he should be)

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:20 | 2530117 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

After 3 years of pondering, I have concluded that president Obama is satan.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:22 | 2530125 Satan
Satan's picture

I am so deeply offended.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:41 | 2530232 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

Sorry Satan.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 16:51 | 2530717 HellFish
HellFish's picture

Belly laugh.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 16:51 | 2530718 HellFish
HellFish's picture

Belly laugh.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:53 | 2530286 Chaos_Theory
Chaos_Theory's picture

You owe me a keyboard, monitor and another Mountain Dew...

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 15:04 | 2530324 CaptainObvious
CaptainObvious's picture

You can have another Mountain Dew IF AND ONLY IF it has a unit measurement of less than 16 ounces.

  --Nanny Bloomberg

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 15:58 | 2530524 Chaos_Theory
Chaos_Theory's picture

Damn...that was the ZH equivalent of "checkmate."

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 05:59 | 2531640 The Navigator
The Navigator's picture

AND ONLY you write it off as a thingmagig (or Chingamadera) costing $3,000 - otherwise, not an acceptable IRS write-off.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 11:20 | 2532058 logically possible
logically possible's picture

Satan for POTUS.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:33 | 2530189 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

If you think Obama is smart enough to be Satan, you are seeing a much different Obama than I am.

Obama works for the political guy, who works for the money guys, who work for the serious money guys, who work for the spooky guys, who work for Satan.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:56 | 2530295 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Spooky guys are the two popes, right?

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 16:22 | 2530630 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

The really spooky guys are guys you have never heard of.

Powerful people are not famous.  Famous people are servants.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 04:23 | 2531590 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

i'm from that pirate ship and i'm here to help

the hierarchy of spookery:  yup the servants are spooks, the famous people are spooks and the powerful people are spooks

blame it on the bossa nova?  you'll find when you reach the top:  you're on the bottom... 

when i first landed here i was impressed by the boilerplate about the black helis and this  manifesto

clothing optional...

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:35 | 2530199 verum quod lies
verum quod lies's picture

Yes, I agree; and yet, incredibly stupid and arrogant, even while reading the teleprompter. It would seem the underworld believes all can be solved with a speechwriter and a teleprompter.


Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:22 | 2530128 newworldorder
newworldorder's picture

Not to put too fine a point on this but due to our current Affirmative Action Laws, anyone who gains an authorization to work under this program in the US and is defined as minority moves to the head of the line for consideration on employment, education, etc.

While these young people are deserving of a chance to live their American dream, all minority non US citizens will more than likely be given opportunities FIRST before non minority citizens and in many cases othe minoirity citizens.

That we as a country approve this under the guise of multiculturalism is byond comprehension. Where is Congress on this issue? Where is the debate in the MSM ? Where are American born minorites on this issue?

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:58 | 2530301 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

US citizenism has done such a wonderful job that the first black US citizen president is not a guy from the black US citizen communauty but a first generation citizenship holder whose father is an African.

Success of US citizenism humanity advancement program. Even negro culture beat it.

Tells it all.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 15:06 | 2530338 akak
akak's picture

Please tell us again your fairy tale about how the inhabitants of Easter Island were somehow infected by your mythical "US Citizenism" not only long before they had ANY contact with the outside world, but literally centuries before the USA was even founded as a nation! I really like that one.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 03:29 | 2531553 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

'Americanism' is a myth. 'Americans' are a myth. They do not exist.

Easier to understand the whole stuff of conspiracy theory when US citizens are so easy in denying their own existence.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 04:28 | 2531591 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture


Sat, 06/16/2012 - 06:09 | 2531650 The Navigator
The Navigator's picture


I see you can spell words, and then assemble them into sentences, but the sentences have no meaning. A dictionary is useful but it doesn't mean you can speak or write in that language.

Please seek some assistance in assembling words into meaningful sentences.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 08:46 | 2531793 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

Meaning sentences?

So I cant assemble words into meaningful sentences which means or does not mean that the current sentence is a meaningful sentence.

US citizen logics. Once again.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 15:12 | 2530365 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

keep trying to piss us off and you just might accidentally do it.  Then we'll cut your food off.  And your sea lanes.  and then you, along with the whole of entire southern hemisphere excluding Oz will eat one another.

for real, ask your masters and you'll know the truth from the nervous looks on their faces.

Rong Pohk, and all that good shit.

PS, you still have those SKS's that your buddy managed to swipe from the norinco factory, right?  the ones they lost track of when the clintons put that import ban down back in the 90's and it created that big paperwork mess when the shipments got canceled. you're going to need those pretty soon I think.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 17:02 | 2530750 ffart
ffart's picture

I don't think this guy is actually chinese but whatever. He seems to have the same malthusian viewpoint as ORI, who is another troll on this board. They like to pat each other's backs too.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 18:35 | 2530939 akak
akak's picture

Oh, he/she/they is/are most definitely Chinese --- you must have missed the part where he/she/they spun the fantasy of how the Red Chinese "liberated" Tibet and "ended slavery" there.  Not to mention his/her/their kneejerk defense of every vile crime of Mousy Tongue and the Chinese Communist Party, not the least of which being the political purges and psychotic "Great Leap Forward (Into Starvation)" of the 1950s, in which Mao killed tens of millions of his own countrymen in the greatest mass murder of a population by its own leaders in recorded history.

Besides, the writing style of this freak should be a dead giveaway --- haven't you EVER been mystified by the identical garbled and cryptic prose contained within any Chinese-made product manual?

It is the mettle of the insanitation of Chinese Citizenism citizens to denialize their blobbing-up of resources and offuscation of historical facts in the fabled quest to seduce the world into sharing their People's Liberation Opium Parlor fantasies.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 01:36 | 2531473 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

 Anonymous temporarily subdued...but not by us. Nearby food vendor has special on puppy cutlets.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 03:39 | 2531561 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

All credible from one US citizen whose hubris is such that he thinks he can get away with denying the existence of 'Americanism'

US citizens are pampered by their government state, allowing them to dismiss the most immediate reality.

Dont wish for the state to end too strong. If it happens, you will come face to face with reality and it is too different from what you like to fancy on to make you any good.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 23:49 | 2531548 headless blogger
headless blogger's picture

They are trolls and this one is from Toronto. They monopolize the site called InformationClearinghouse.info (ran by their American counterpart, Tom Feeley, who may be from Ireland, UK).

They comment heavily on Antiwar.com, Truthdig.com, Truthout.com, TheDailyBell.com (until they shut their comment section down), and many other sites. Goal seems to be to smear all Americans and to destroy American "White" culture. They think EVERY American is stupid, racist, and pro-war. 

Also, one of them operates the site called DangerousCreations.com

Either they are crazy fucks, or they are working for someone. They are CONSTANTLY on the internet. I read alot of the Antiwar and truth sites, and after a while you can tell who they are.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 03:36 | 2531559 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

He seems to have the same malthusian viewpoint as ORI,


A malthusian viewpoint? I have one?

And in what way would it differ from the malthusian viewpoint expressed by so many US citizens on this site?

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 03:34 | 2531556 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

keep trying to piss us off and you just might accidentally do it. Then we'll cut your food off. And your sea lanes. and then you, along with the whole of entire southern hemisphere excluding Oz will eat one another.

for real, ask your masters and you'll know the truth from the nervous looks on their faces.

Rong Pohk, and all that good shit.

Who is that we? Is a collectivistic construction similar to that US citizen We the People?

If you had any power of the kind you claim to have through collective association, you wont be lamenting your way on this site.

Better, your position in here, your loss of faith in the actuality of your membership to the US citizen gang, your whim to see a change in US citizenism other than your change in status indicates that you are going to be among people who are going to go through that kind of treatment by that 'we'

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 08:28 | 2531760 akak
akak's picture

More time-traveling algebraic coconut hobnobbing gibberish from the ragingly prejudiced anti-American Chinese Firster.

Don't you have a Middle Kingdom roadside to shit up?  There must be a few spots left uncovered  in deng by your fellow quasi-human post-puppy-gorging Chinese Citizenism citizens.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 03:12 | 2531542 headless blogger
headless blogger's picture



Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:23 | 2530129 kralizec
kralizec's picture

Obadictator's treason goes unchallenged again...this is how a republic dies...to thunderous silence...

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:28 | 2530159 Bob
Bob's picture

Problem is the way these so-called wedge issues divide us. For example, how does a "libertarian" object to this? 

Gays, abortion, the social contract (not that it actually exists), all this bullshit is part of the circus. 

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:24 | 2530132 tongue.stan
tongue.stan's picture

That last question shouted out by an obviously soon to be NDAA'd journalist was so right on: "what about the american workers...?" This POS POTUS turned his back. We are doomed. He's a tin pot dictator. We are ruled by a so callled black muslim kenyan marxist.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:30 | 2530170 Bob
Bob's picture

Actually, you were on a roll there, but in order to legitimately invoke the concept of "so-called," you would necessarily be alluding to a reasonably credible authority for the charge that he's a "black muslim kenyan marxist." 

Nuff said. 

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