Your EBT Card Has Been Denied... At The Spearmint Rhino

Tyler Durden's picture

America's welfare state is about to suffer a double whammy of epic proportions. On one hand, extended unemployment benefits are now running out at a pace of 100,000+ per week, as more and more American's lose eligibility for Komrade Samov's 99-week sponsored vacation, meaning millions of Americans heretofore sitting comfortably on their couch playing Call of Duty and collecting $400 a week will now start having to think for a change - never a good thing for any regime that relies on its electorate to be docile as drunk and fat Hindu cows. And now this: "New York would prohibit welfare recipients from spending their tax-funded benefits on cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, and strip clubs under a bill passed overwhelmingly by the state Senate on Tuesday. "I understand that people need food stamps," said Republican Sen. Thomas Libous, a Broome County Republican. "What I don't understand is why they need to go to strip clubs, buy lottery tickets, go to a 'racino' or buy alcohol." Wait, you mean you can't spend other people's money to pay for a lap dance? What crazy form of inhumane austerity is this. And isn't spending taxpayer dollars at the Spearmint Rhino one of the amendments to the post-Obama constitution? But perhaps the scariest implication is that New Yorkers actually do spend their EBT money at the Spearmint Rhino right off the card, being ripped off with the traditional 15% plastic surcharge instead of just paying cash. Now that is really stupid.

More on the "Public Assistance Integrity Act"

Libous said New York must restrict the spending by recipients whose benefits are linked to debit cards to conform to federal law. President Barack Obama signed a law in February that will require states to restrict how the cash portion of social services is spent, or lose 5 percent of Temporary Assistance to Needy Families funding. New York risks losing $125 million next year.


Others questioned the need for the restrictions, saying they were a slap at the poor.

And though this Act is far from being voted through, already the civil rights brigades are screaming bloody strip club murder:

"It's a prejudice, I think, about poor people that we are seeing represented more than any statistical or study of behavior," said Sen. Bill Perkins, a Harlem Democat and one of the few senators to vote against the measure. "If they have evidence that there's a rash of that, I'd like to see it."

Then there is the GOP response:

New York's Republican senators who led the bipartisan 56-3 vote Tuesday said New Yorkers are amazed the law allows such spending now. The law prohibits the use of food stamps to buy alcohol or tobacco products, but it's allowed under the "cash allowance" contained in the EBT cards.


"'They can do that? Are you kidding me?'" said Sen. John DeFrancisco, a Syracuse Republican, in recounting constituents' reaction. "That outrage is well placed," he said.


"Right now, under the law, you can use the cash assigned for gambling, alcohol and lottery tickets," Libous said. "We get quite a few complaints on an annual basis."


Some state officials are concerned the federal measure, and its 5-percent penalty for failure to enact restrictions, infringes on states' rights to distribute federal welfare benefits under their own rules.

Of course, since most strippers, despite their name, are not equipped with magnetic strip readers, and since most EBT cards will still dispense cash, we can't help but wonder just what is the whole logic behind the idiocy of on one hand generously handing out welfare benefits to anyone with a pulse, and in some zombified cases. without, and on the other coyly posturing for political reasons.

Either way, this sadly may mean that the time to officially short RICK has come.

It, of course, also means that soon enough the #OccupyScores crowd will be firmly in place on the main dancing area, beating their bongos in sync to Pour Some Sugar On Me.

In conclusion, what else but... My EBT.

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Waffen's picture

The banks get money for free. Fiat paper is a joke, why not just give each American $100,000 a week, let this charade end as it should.

ghengis86's picture

+1 for the comment and two thumbs up for the boobs

The next time some dickbag claims 'deficits don't matter', the '$100,000 for each warm body' stimulus should be beat into their smug-fugly faces.

Fucking morons

PC Load Letter's picture

I'd rather see the money go to strippers then propping up insolvent banks. At least they are contributing to society

AldousHuxley's picture

didn't you watch inside job?


bankers do spend money on strippers....actually they go even deeper....prostitutes.

Spider55's picture

Right, having more welfare babies

rambo1028's picture

Party of the century in the USA! Would definitely increase tourism...

world_debt_slave's picture

don't worry, soon to be app for the ipod and the "cube" that connects to the ipod to swipe your gov benefits to that fav stripper of yours.

Hard Assets's picture

Nice panties !

Is she pregrant?

A Nanny Moose's picture

Where does she keep the card swipe thing-a-ma-jig?

FeralSerf's picture

She's (it's) a robot.  There's a nearly hidden slot between her legs.  Ain't technology wunnerful?

wee-weed up's picture

Let's just say it's a "lip-reader" - and not on the face!

HungrySeagull's picture

Forget the panties. =)

I had a hard time reading the article. However, I think People will find a way to trade on EBT because there is plenty of ways to swipe cards such as on Cell Phones and such that are equipped with a card reader.

If the gal is preggo, and your EBT is bad, you could pay for the lapdance with say... baby formula bought and paid for with your EBT.

cranky-old-geezer's picture



Nope, that's perfect female form right there  ...about as good as my avatar I would say.

TeMpTeK's picture

What No camel Toe either?


LongBalls's picture

I can't get past the photo long enough to read the article. Damn I love women!!! How could any man be into da' frank n beans? I'll never get it. And thank God for that.

Lednbrass's picture

And thank you for changing your avatar!

Spider55's picture

She is a drag queen, look closer between the legs

Freddie's picture

Hope & Chains while illegal alien Obama and RINO Fidel Rubio want more amnesty.

midtowng's picture

This law will have the same effect as preventing the poor from buying yachts, pro baseball teams, and senators.

francis_sawyer's picture

enter... Black Market for SNAP cards... In other news... "SPEARMINT RHINOS BITCHEZ!"

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

I've been in line at stores and had someone ask me if I could buy their stuff in trade for their snap credits.

"It's an even trade!"  I was told.

And no, I did not trade my paper for credits.  Funny because there was a point when I didn't think it could get worse than using funny money.

lizzy36's picture

50 cents on the dollar exch rate for SNAP cards.

The government is stupid and so populist in their thinking and their behavior.

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

The government?  The same government that has "hired" Central Banks to issue the supply of "money"?

Really Lizzy, who is the idiot here?  The government, the economists and bankers, or the people that allow these two regemes to run their world?

BitingTruth's picture

Well Said.  I love the name too.

SeattleBruce's picture

This didn't happen overnight.  The solution will take a while to coalesce.  Certainly longer than we'd like.

francis_sawyer's picture

no doubts on all of the above...

40 oz. Olde English High Gravity ought to command a premium...

ghengis86's picture

SNAP cards are backed by the extractable amount of Steele Reserve from the Kwik-E-Mart mines

JPM Hater001's picture

This is good info.  After my 6 figure severence and other hot to trot assets fail I look forward to this fun and apparently quite musical money.

francis_sawyer's picture

Better start stakin out your terrain now... It's quite territorial in that part of town...

HungrySeagull's picture

I rather keep the 40 ounce silver thank you.

At least I managed to flee the land of 20/20.

bdc63's picture

"50 cents on the dollar exchange rate for SNAP cards"

... sounds like the kind of business JPM might be interested in -- I'll give Dimon a call and see if he wants a piece of the action ...

The Gooch's picture

While you're on the phone with him, whisper- "g u i l l o t i n e" .


FeralSerf's picture

I think JPM is in the SNAP card business.  They get a fee for each swipe.  Who knows who gets the card balances that are never used.  Ask Jamie.  It might be a substantial sum.

The Gooch's picture

50 cent (or less) on the "snap dollar" has been the motto of the pusherman since... well... the snap card. 

The other economy. 

I'm willing to bet >30% of social-security checks in the big city go to the pusherman too for predatory drug lending.


francis_sawyer's picture

didn't think of that until you just brought it up... Thanks for bringing it back to the forefront of everyone's attention...

The Gooch's picture

I think most tend to NOT think about it anymore. It's a foregone conclusion.


GOSPLAN HERO's picture

Blackmarket -- da hood be one big ass market.

It be rayciss.

HungrySeagull's picture

The kind of ass you need to take a bus and a train to get around to the good side.

At least these little wee ones are still able to perform without danger of heart failure.

If the wee ones were not allowed to work at the Rhino, the Mammys at the Project can put on something for you.

Better bring sufficient drink to ease the shock on your eyes and brain.

iDealMeat's picture

No Bitches, Bitchez..


bdc63's picture

file this one under "you just can't make this stuff up"

Gully Foyle's picture

A dollar spent is a dollar spent.

I don't give a shit if they buy food, booze, or overpriced booze at a strip club.

How many dumbasses are actually buying the requirements for a meal, and fuck you organic food tools because you pay twice as much for nothing but the word.

And why should any of you idiot fucks care if your tax dollars go to food or booze? It's still leaving your hands and going into someone elses.


Pass all the fucking laws you want, no way around what I just wrote.



bdc63's picture

Uhm ... I think the "anger management" seminar at the YMCA starts at about 8pm ... just say'in ...

francis_sawyer's picture

Marla Singer is going to be at 'testicular cancer', just so you know...

The Gooch's picture

Also, their (YMCA) soda machine will accept your EBT, Mr. Foil.

forexskin's picture

*snif - snifFFF* trav? is that trav7777?