Carlyle

Standing in Legoland in Carlsbad, California in 2011, fulfilling a promise to my then eight-year-old son William, it hit me. I was strolling around a Blackstone-owned property. We'd woken up in a Homewood Suites, owned by Blackstone-backed Hilton. We'd driven to the park in a rental car from Hertz, owned by private-equity firms Carlyle and Clayton, Dubilier & Rice. Practically every time I'd opened my wallet that day, it had been to a company owned by private equity. Even on vacation, I couldn't escape. A few months later, I had dinner with Greg Brenneman, who'd held top positions at Continental, Burger King, and Quizno's, all private-equity-owned at the time he was involved. Brenneman is now the chairman of CCMP Capital, whose investments have included 1-800-Flowers.com and Vitamin Shoppe. We talked at length about the ubiquity of PE ownership -- my J. Crew sweater, the Dollar General store in my wife's hometown in the Catskills. I started a running list on my BlackBerry that quickly grew to dozens of examples. Brand names piled up, from Toys "R" Us to Petco. The more I looked, the more I found it.  The numbers are staggering. Private-equity firms globally and collectively had almost $3 trillion in assets at the end of 2011. The companies they own account for about 8 percent of the U.S. gross domestic product by one estimate.

• No Joy on Wall Street as Biggest Banks Earn $63 Billion (Bloomberg)
• And more good news: IMF’s Blanchard Says Crisis Will Last a Decade (Reuters)
• Hobbit Returns to Find Middle Earth Has Become Expensive (Bloomberg)
• Freddie's Foreclosure Plan Hits Roadblock (WSJ)
• Who will buy the FT? Pearson CEO Scardino Will Step Down as Fallon Takes Over (BBG)
• Jeremy Lin Said to Be in Talks With Harvard on Licensing Deal (Bloomberg)
• Jon Weil tears apart the NYAG "prosecution" - Eric Schneiderman Will Have to Do Better Than This (BBG)
• Portugal Offers to Exchange Bonds as It Seeks Debt Market Access (Bloomberg)
• Is unlimited growth a thing of the past? (FT-Martin Wolf)
• European Bank Capital Results Overtaken by Tougher Global Rules (Bloomberg)
• China’s Slowdown Reverberates as ADB Cuts Forecasts (Bloomberg)
• Tokyo has no plan to extend currency swap deal with Seoul (Reuters)

Lately, it has become particularly fashionable to bash private equity, especially among those workers in the employ of the state. The argument, in as much as capitalism can be summarized in one sentence, is that PE firms issue excess leverage, making bankruptcy inevitable (apparently those who buy the debt are unaware they will never get their money back), all the while cutting headcount to maximize cash flow (apparently the same PE firms don't realize that their investment will have the greatest terminal value to buyer if it has the highest possible growth potential, which means revenue and cashflow, which means proper CapEx investment, which means streamlined income statement, which means more efficient workers generating more profits, not less). The narrative ultimately culminates with some variation on a the theme that PE firms are responsible for offshoring jobs. While any of the above may be debated, and usually is especially by those who have absolutely no understanding of finance, one thing is certain: when it comes to bashing PE, America's public workers should be the last to have anything negative to say about Private Equity, and the capital markets in general. Why? Because when it comes to fulfilling those promises of a comfortable retirement with pensions and benefits paying out in perpetuity, always indexed for inflation, and otherwise fulfilling impossible dreams, who do America's public pension fund administrators go to? The very same private equity firms that have suddenly become outcast number 1.

• JPMorgan provided rescue financing to Knight (WSJ)
• HSBC hands U.S. more staff names in tax evasion probe (Reuters), HSBC, Credit Suisse Sacrifice Employees to U.S., Lawyers Say (BBG)
• Hong Kong shares slide to two-week closing low, China weak (Reuters)
• Israel Would Strike Iran to Gain a Delay, Oren Says (Businessweek)
• Britain 'threatened to storm Ecuador's London embassy' to arrest Julian Assange (AP)
• You have now entered the collateral-free zone: Spain Said to Speed EU Bank Bailout on Collateral Limits (BBG)
• China Can Meet Growth Target on Positive Signs, Wen Says (BBG)
• Risk Builds as Junk Bonds Boom (NYT)
• Berlin maintains firm line on Greece (FT)
• Brazil unveils $66bn stimulus plan (FT)

• World’s Oldest Shipping Company Closes In Industry Slide (Bloomberg)
• Japan Growth May Slow to Half Previous Pace as Exports Wane (Bloomberg)
• China Export Growth Slides As World Recovery Slows (Bloomberg)
• Weidmann tries to muffle not spike Draghi's ECB guns (Reuters)
• Draghi lays out toolkit to save eurozone (FT)
• Concerns grow over prospects for sterling (FT)
• RIM Said To Draw Interest From IBM On Enterprise Services (Bloomberg)
• UN urges US to cut ethanol production (FT)
• Goldman Sachs Leads Split With Obama, As GE Jilts Him Too (Bloomberg)
• New apartments boost US building sector (FT)

• Gu Kailai Trial Has Ended, verdict imminent (WSJ)
• Greek unemployment rises to 23.1 pct in May, new record (Reuters)
• Greece’s Power Generator Tests Euro Fitness Amid Blackout Threat (Bloomberg)
• Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac Results May Ease Wind-Down Push (Bloomberg)
• Monti takes off gloves in euro zone fight (Reuters)
• U.S. Fed extends comment period for Basel III (Reuters)
• HP in $8bn writedown on services arm (FT) - must be good for +10% in the stock
• News Corp in $2.8bn writedown (FT) - must be good for +10% in the stock
• Japan to Pass Sales Tax Bill After Noda Avoids Election Push (Bloomberg)
• China May Set New Property Controls This Month, Securities Says (Bloomberg)

• Regulators irate at NY action against Standard Chartered (Reuters)
• Recession Generation Opts To Rent Not Buy Houses To Cars (Bloomberg)
• Egypt launches air strikes on militants in Sinai (Reuters)
• Loan-Shark Lending Surge Feared In Japan (Bloomberg)
• US seeks $3bn for Sudan oil deal (FT)
• Home Prices Climb as Supply Dwindles (WSJ)... not really- just money laundering in the form of ultra luxury home purchases soars
• A lifeline is thrown to the periphery - Smaghi (FT)
• Standard and Who? Greece Credit-Rating Outlook Lowered by S&P as Economy Weakens (Bloomberg)
• BOE Cuts Growth Forecast, Sees Inflation Below Goal in Two Years (Bloomberg)
• S&P Takes CreditWatch Actions On Four Spanish Banks (Reuters)
• Japan Gets Reprieve as Drop in Oil Eases Trade Impact (Bloomberg)

• This is just hilarious on so many levels: Japan Will Provide $60 Billion to Expand IMF’s Resources (Bloomberg) - just don't look at Fukushima, don't look at the zero nuclear plants working, don't look at the recent trade deficit, and certainly don't look at the Y1 quadrillion in debt...
• US Senate vote blocks ‘Buffett rule’ (FT)
• Reserve Bank of Australia awaiting new data before considering rate move (Herald Sun)
• Merkel Offers Spain No Respite as Debt Cuts Seen As Key (Bloomberg)
• RBI cuts repo rate by 50 bps; sees little room for more (Reuters)
• China allows banks to short sell dollars (Reuters)
• Central bankers snub euro assets (FT)
• Shanghai Econ Weakening’ Mayor Vows to Pop Housing Bubble (Forbes)
• Wen's visit to boost China-Europe ties (China Daily)
• Madrid threatens to intervene in regions (FT)

• Downgrades Loom for Banks (WSJ)
• China Loosens Grip on Yuan (WSJ)
• Sarkozy Embraces Growth Role for ECB (WSJ)
• A Top Euro Banker Calls for Boost to IMF (WSJ)
• Wolfgang Münchau - Spain has accepted mission impossible (FT)
• Hong Kong Takeovers Loom Large With Banks Lending Yuan: Real M&A (Bloomberg)
• Banks urge Fed retreat on credit exposure (FT)
• Drought in U.K. Adds to Inflation Fears (WSJ)
• France faces revival of radical left (FT)
• Euro Area Seeks Bigger IMF War Chest as Spanish Concerns Mount (Bloomberg)

• Euro zone formally approves 2nd Greek bailout: statement (Reuters)
• In a First, Europeans Act to Suspend Aid to Hungary Unless It Cuts Deficit (NYT)
• UK Chancellor Looks at 100-Year Gilt (FT) - What? No Consols?
• Hilsenrath: Fed's Outlook a Tad Sunnier - (WSJ)
• Banks Shored Up By Stress Test Success (FT)
• U.S. dangles secret data for Russia missile shield approval (Reuters)
• Wen Warns of Second China Cultural Revolution Without Reform (Bloomberg)
• Wen Says Yuan May Be Near Equilibrium as Gains Stall (Bloomberg)
• Merkel Says Europe Is ‘Good Way’ Up Mountain, Not Over It (Bloomberg)

Update: the NYT chimes in, just to make the point all too clear: "Hedge Funds May Sue Greece if It Tries to Force Loss"

Five minutes before market close yesterday, Bloomberg came out with an "exclusive" interview with Marathon CEO Bruce Richards, who may or may not be in the Greek bondholder committee any longer, in which the hedge fund CEO said that the Greek creditor group had come to an agreement and that the thorniest issue that stands between Greece and a coercive default (and major fallout for Europe) was in the bag, so to say. To which we had one rhetorical comment: "Well as long as Marathon is talking for all the possible hold outs..." As it turns out, he wasn't. As it further turns out, Mr. Richards, was just a little bit in over his head about pretty much everything else too, expect for talking up the remainder of his book of course (unsuccessfully, as we demonstrated earlier - although it does beg the question: did Marathon trade today on the rumor it itself spread, based on information that was material and thus only afforded to a privileged few creditors, especially if as it turns, the information was false - we are positive the SEC will be delighted to know the answer). Because as the supposed restructurng expert should know, once you have a disparate group of ad hoc creditors, which is precisely what we have in the Greek circus now, there is nothing even remotely close to a sure deal, especially when one needs a virtually unanimous decision for no CDS trigger event to occur (yes, ISDA, for some ungodly reason, you are still relevant in this bizarro world). Which also happens to be the fascination for all the hedge funds, whom we first and then subsequently repeatedly noted, are holding Europe hostage, to buy ever greater stakes of Greek bonds at 20 cents on the dollar. Because, finally, as the FT reports, the deal is nowhere in sight: "Several hedge fund managers that hold Greek debt have said they have not been involved in the talks and will not be agreeing with the “private sector involvement” (PSI) deal – which centres on a 50 per cent loss on bondholders’ capital and a reduction in the interest they receive... Even members of the committee concede the process is unlikely to succeed in time for the crunch date: a €14.5bn bond repayment falling due on March 20." But, wait, that's not what Bloomberg and Bruce Richards told us yesterday, setting off a 100 point DJIA rally. Time to pull up the Einhorn idiot market diagram once again.

• Hedge Funds Try to Profit From Greece as Banks Face Losses (Bloomberg)
• Spain Doubles Target in Debt Auction, Yields Down (Reuters)
• Italy 1-Year Debt Costs More Than Halve at Auction (Reuters)
• Obama to Propose Tax Breaks to Get Jobs (WSJ)
• GOP Seeks to Pass Keystone Pipeline Without Obama (Reuters)
• Debt Downgrades to Rise ‘Substantially’ in 2012, Moody’s Says (Bloomberg)
• Petroplus wins last-minute reprieve (FT)
• Geithner gets China snub on Iranian oil as Japan plans cut (Bloomberg)
• Fed officials split over easing as they prepare interest rate forecasts (Bloomberg)
• Draft eurozone treaty pleases UK (FT)
• Premier Wen looks at the big picture (China Daily)
• US Foreclosure Filings Hit 4-Year Low in 2011 (Reuters)

Lately, Bain founder and GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney has found himself in a spirited defense of the private equity industry, doing all he can to spin decades of data which confirm, without failure, that PE Leveraged Buy Outs are nothing but "efficiency maximizing" transactions whose only goal is the "maximization" of EBITDA in the pursuit of dividend recap deals, IPOs or outright sales, while loading up the company with untenable amounts of leverage. All this with a 3-5 year investment horizon, which ignores the long-term viability of a company and seeks to streamline (read fire as many as possible) operations as quickly as possible in the goal of maximizing short-term returns. We wish him luck in his endeavor. As for the other side of the equation, we recreate a post we penned back in November 2009 which analyzes just how effective the mega-LBOs have been for the economy, and the workers involved. In other words - the facts. In a nutshell, here they are: "The Disastrous Performance Of Private Equity: Of The Top 10 LBOs, 6 Are In Distress, 4 Have Defaulted." Read on for the full details.

AlpInvest Partners, Europe's largest private-equity investor, has been sold to Carlyle Group and the AlpInvest management in a move that looks set to shake up Europe's buyout landscape.

In an early precedent of Bank Failure Friday (and a LOT of work for the CNBC green shoot spin doctors for early Friday am consumption) BankUnited just expired, in the largest blow up of a bank to date in 2009. The bank will be "sold" to Carlyle, Blackstone and WL Ross. But why should Carlyle et al "pay up" for the asset when they can get Sheila Bair to use taxpayer money to backstop the entire sale for them. And when we are talking $12.8 billion in assets, it surely is much better to get Joe Q. Sixpack to make sure you (Wilbur Ross et al) don't have any risk exposure.