BAC

Maybe because, gasp, it wasn't the weather?

• California couple finds $10 million in buried treasure while walking dog (Reuters) ... not bitcoin?
• Dimon Says Threats to JPMorgan Span Google to China Banks (BBG)
• Stocks So Many Love to Hate Buoyed by Fed’s Jobs Priority (BBG)
• White House Weighs Four Options for Revamping NSA Phone Surveillance (WSJ) ... to pick the fifth one
• Credit Suisse Executives Weren’t Aware of U.S. Tax Dodges (BBG)
• Militias Hunt Kiev Looters From Central Bank to Bling Palace (BBG)
• Crisis Gauge Rises to Record High as Swaps Avoided (BBG)
• Obama to Propose Highway-Repair Program (WSJ)
• Ukraine Pledges to Protect Deposits as Kiev Rally Called (BBG)

• Ukraine leader denounces coup bid, West weighs sanctions (Reuters)
• Time to buy Imodium calls: Kuroda Easing Doomed as Yen Seen Missing 120 Level (BBG)
• Teens Disappear From U.S. Workforce (BBG)
• Fed Sets Rules for Foreign Banks (WSJ)
• Quant Funds Feel Investor Bite After Underperforming (BBG)
• China Probes Qualcomm, InterDigital Over Monopoly Concerns (WSJ)
• Capital One says it can show up at cardholders' homes, workplaces  (LATimes)
• SEC Gains Power to Take Profit Made From Insider Trading (BBG)

• Goldman to Fidelity Call for Calm After Global Stock Wipeout (BBG)
• Turnabout on Global Outlook Darkens Investor Mood (Hilsenrath)
• EU Said to Weigh Extending Greek Loans to 50 Years (BBG)
• Second Storm Hitting Northeast Halts Planes, Schools (BBG)
• Small Banks Face TARP Hit (WSJ)
• As Sony prepares PCs exit, pressure mounts for reboot on TVs (Reuters)
• IBM Uses Dutch Tax Haven to Boost Profits as Sales Slide (BBG)
• ECB faces dilemma with inflation drop (FT)
• London Subway Strike Snarls Traffic as Union Opposes Cuts  (BBG)

• Winter Storm Expected to Make Northeast Commutes Harder  (BBG)
•  Invasion of Spanish Builders Angers France Struggling to Compete  (BBG)
• Toronto mayor, caught ranting on video, admits drinking a 'little bit" (Reuters)
• IBM's Hardware Woes Accelerate in Fourth Quarter (WSJ)
• Sharp Divisions Come to Fore as Peace Talks on Syria Begin (NYT)
• Afghanistan cracks down on advertising in favor of U.S. troops (Reuters)
• Microsoft CEO Search Rattles Boards From Ford to Ericsson (BBG)
• Banks Sit Out Riskier Deals (WSJ)
• Netflix Seen Reporting U.S. Web Users Reach 33.1 Million (BBG)

If yesterday it was JPM's turn to shock and awe everyone with its adoption of FVA and impress with its non-GAAP revenues, today it is the turn of Bank of America to confuse everyone with its traditionally indecipherable earnings release. So here is the punchline. BAC reported revenues of $21.7 billion which beat expectations of $21.14 billion, although more importantly EPS of $0.29 vs expectations of $0.27. So how did BAC generate the better than expected top and bottom line? Simple - the top line beat was driven by the bank's return to an aggressive extraction of non-income income from loan-loss reserve releases, which in the current quarter rose to $1.246 billion, up from $900 million a year ago. Considering the Bank had non-GAAP pretax income of $3.8 billion, this amount to just about a third of its earnings. Additionally, the company paid only $406 million in reported taxes on pretax income of $3.845 billion, or a 10.6% effective tax rate. How does this compare to the historic average of 25%? Obviously, it's much lower.  In fact, if BAC had used its historic tax rate of 25%, the EPS "beat" of $0.29 would have become a $0.25 miss. But all is fair in sellside analyst love and making up non-GAAP numbers.

It's not just Bank of America that is 'worried' about the health of its junior employees. As Bloomberg BusinessWeek reports, Americans eat at their desks, work longer days, and retire later than their counterparts in most other parts of the world (especially France). But, while the likes of Oprah offer holistic solutions to harness yopur stress, and bosses insist that you take your weekends off (or else), the workload itself is not reduced. Do not fear though as Senator Glenn Grotham is pressing to undo a "goofy" law requiring employers to give workers a day off - "all sorts of people want to work 7 days-a-week," he noted... indeed they do Senator.

• Here comes JPM's next multibillion legal reserve: Federal Probe Targets Banks Over Bonds (WSJ)
• Mulally Bows Out of Microsoft CEO Race, Staying at Ford (BBG)
• United States sending more troops and tanks to South Korea (Reuters)
• Eurozone unemployment sticks at record high (FT)
• China-Japan 'Voldemort' attacks up ante in propaganda war (Reuters)
• Alternative Lenders Peddle Pricey Commercial Loans (WSJ)
• John McAfee: glad Intel dropping name from security software (Reuters)
• Jobless Benefits Bill Stays Alive Amid Talks on Offsets (BBG)
• Chicago Colder Than South Pole as Frigid Air Clamps Down (BBG)
• Former Miss Venezuela shot dead in attempted robbery (Reuters)

Bottom line for financials is that 2014 is looking to be a tough year, even if the Sell Side wants to believe that growing earnings is still possible on flat revenue

• Threatening snowstorm may be early test for N.Y. Mayor de Blasio (Reuters), U.S. Northeast Threatened With Blizzard, Travel Delays (BBG)
• Scarred U.S. consumers a hard sell for traditional retail (Reuters)
• Edward Snowden, Whistle-Blower (NYT)
• A Few Brave Investors Scored Huge, Market-Beating Wins (WSJ)
• Fiat gets full control of Chrysler for $4.35 billion (Reuters)
• Billions Vanish in Kazakh Banking Scandal (WSJ)
• SAC’s Cohen Focus of Trial as Martoma Rebuffs U.S. (BBG)
• World's first state-licensed marijuana retailers open doors in Colorado (Reuters)
• Hyundai, Kia face fading growth as currency tides buoy Japan rivals (Reuters)
• Bond investors braced for new year shock (FT)
• Putin vows total destruction of 'terrorists' after bombings (AFP)

And they're back:

2,277 sq.ft. - Median new-home size in 2007
2,306 sq. ft. - Median new-home size in 2012

Just as that crowning achievement of the last housing bubble, the McMansions, have once again returned with the second and final return of the Fed-blown housing bubble, the Bluths picked a perfect time to also come bac on the scene. But instead of analyzing the reasons for just why the US economy now desperately needs to jump from bubble to bubble, we will simply constrain ourselves to discussing... interior decoration. The infographic below from BusinessWeek shows how times, and tastes, how to decorate one's McMansion have changed in the past few years.

• When it fails, do more of it - Bank of Japan hints at extending ultra-loose monetary policy (FT)
• PBOC Says No Longer in China’s Interest to Increase Reserves (BBG)
• Fed casts about for endgame on easy-money policy  (Hilsenrath)
• Big trucks still rule Detroit in energy-conscious era (Reuters)
• Debt Limit Rise May Not Be Needed Until June, CBO Says (BBG)
• Some Insurance Regulators Turn Down White House Invitation (WSJ)
• Say Goodbye to the Car Salesman (WSJ)
• U.S. drone kills senior militant in Pakistani seminary (Reuters)
• French business sector contracts sharply (FT)
• How Germany's taxman used stolen data to squeeze Switzerland (Reuters)
• Fed casts about for endgame on easy-money policy (WSJ)
• France, Italy call for full-time Eurogroup chief (Reuters)

• JPMorgan $13 Billion Mortgage Deal Seen as Lawsuit Shield (BBG)
• J.P. Morgan Is Haunted by a 2006 Decision on Mortgages (WSJ)
• World powers, Iran in new attempt to reach nuclear deal (Reuters)
• Keystone Foes Seek to Thwart Oil Sands Exports by Rail (BBG) - mostly Warren Buffet?
• How Would Fed Deal With Debt Ceiling Crisis? Look to Minutes for Clues  (Hilsenrath)
• Anything to prevent the loss of prop trading: 'Volcker Rule' Faces New Hurdles (WSJ)
• BOE Sees Case for Keeping Record-Low Rate Beyond 7% Jobless (BBG)
• Obama Backs Piecemeal Immigration Overhaul (WSJ)
• Abenomics Seen Cutting Japan Bad-Loan Costs to 2006 Low (BBG)

• China to Ease One-Child Policy (WSJ), China announces major economic and social reforms (Reuters)
• Consumers line up for launch of PlayStation 4 (USAToday)
• Trust frays between Obama, Democrats (Politico)
• Yellen Stands by Fed Strategy  (Hilsenrath)
• Hero to zero? Philippine president feels typhoon backlash (Reuters)
• Brussels warns Spain and Italy on budgets (FT)
• Moody’s Downgrades Four U.S. Banks on Federal Support Review  (BBG)
• CIA's Financial Spying Bags Data on Americans (WSJ)
• Germany Digs In Against Risk Sharing in EU Bank-Failure Plan (BBG)
• Bill Gates wants Norway's $800 billion fund to spend more in Africa, Asia (RTRS)

Here is a summary of the key stock additions, sales, initiations and liquidations conducted by the most prominent US hedge funds in the third quarter.