Each day the general population gets at least one dose of teleprompter humor. So for a bit of variety, courtesy of William Banzai, we bring you some teleporter tragicomedy (which also explains so very much...)
A game of 20 questions with the Fed Chairman...
Today, the world has replaced Messrs.. Cleese, Chapman, Palin, Gilliam, Idle and Jones with a new ‘Flying Circus’. Their names are, for the most part, equally well-known and, sadly, becoming ever-more identified with high comedy as they try to convince the world that the dollar is, actually, in rude health. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you ‘Ben Bernanke’s Flying Circus’ - starring Ben Bernanke, Timothy Geithner, Janet Yellen, Bill Dudley, Charles Plosser, Richard Fisher & featuring Barack Obama.
Goldman's Jan Hatzius, who whether he likes it or not, is probably the biggest variable as to whether there will be a QE3 or not, as every other Wall Street "strategist" immediately parrots what Hatzius says will happen (in no small part due to Hatzius' close relationship with NY Fed's Bill Dudley) has just released a hypothetical Q&A session in which he provides what potential answers to questions during Bernanke's first ever scheduled press conference on April 26 of this year might look like. In order to keep the dodecatuple reverse psychology mystery to a maximum, Hatzius also provides what Goldman's answers would look like pari passu with those of the Fed (which is not all than ironic: after all the Fed gets its teleprompted lines straight from the corner offices at 200 West). So for all forensic linguist/economist/psychologists who are hoping to get an extra ounce of informational clarity on the future of monetization post June 30, here it is. Good luck.
“There is no room for a king or guardian or President to replace Banksta power.”
Ben Bernanke, who is expected to appear before the Senate for his biannual Humphrey Hawkins presentation any second, has just released his latest Monetary Policy Report to the Congress. Some of the highlights from the report: i) Bernanke says longer-term inflation expectations will remain stable, and risk of deflation has become negligible; ii) The Fed has tools needed to withdraw stimulus, and reiterates rates will remain low for extended period; iii) A sustained oil price rise would be a threat to growth, price stability, particularly if it unmoors inflation expectations; iv) The recent rise in commodity prices likely will lead to only temporary and modest increase in US inflation; The live CSPAN webcast can be watched here.
Dear Ben: I don’t know if you read ZH. I bet you do. It would be disappointing to learn that you didn’t read some of the leading edge financial blogs. But if not, I bet at least one of your staffers does. If you’re any kind of manager, they won’t be afraid to bring this to your attention. Or perhaps Ron Paul’s staffers can shoot a copy over to your office. It’s a simple petition, really, in the traditional sense. I hope you will consider it. I understand the conclusion you came to in 2008 and early 2009 after a career spent studying the Great Depression, and I also understand that you feel justified in using whatever channels are available to you as proxy helicopters to drop cash. And it works. You’ve essentially manipulated the US and world markets as though they were remote control funny-cars, bent to whatever short-term route you desire, though we have yet to see what the second and third-order effects are. I mean, beyond food riots, destabilization of the Middle East, gas prices that American citizens won’t ultimately be able to afford, agriculture prices that will play havoc with corporate margins and retail food prices, the US dollar losing its reserve-currency status… things like that.
Bernanke tells the public and Congress that the reason we need low interest rates is to support housing prices. He doesn’t mention that $188 TRILLION of the $223 TRILLION in notional value of derivatives sitting on the Big Banks’ balance sheets is related to interest rates. Yes, $188 TRILLION. That’s thirteen times the US’s entire GDP and nearly four times WORLD GDP. If even 4% of this money is “at risk” and 10% of that 4% goes wrong, you’ve wiped out ALL of the equity at the top five bank
The lies come hot and heavy:
- Initial claims for unemployment insurance have generally been trending
down, and indicators of job openings and firms' hiring plans have
- QE 'Effective at easing financial conditions'
- Recovery likely to be 'more rapid' in 2011 than 2010
- 'Overall inflation remains quite low'
- Recovery in consumer, business spending may be solid
- Economy seems to have strengthened in recent months
But here's the only one that matters:
- Unemployment, inflation likely to defy Fed mandate
Which mandate is that Genocide Ben: would that be the mandate to kill off half the world with your revolutionary policies before the Russell hits 36,000?
"To rebalance debt loads and re-equitize financial institutions that should have known better, central banks and policymakers are taking money from one class of asset holders and giving it to another. A low or negative real interest rate for an “extended period of time” is the most devilish of all policy tools. And the asset class holder that it affects, or better yet, “infects,” is the small saver and institutions such as insurance companies and pension funds that hold long-term fixed income assets. It is anyone who holds bonds with coupons that cannot keep up with inflation or the depositor in a local bank who cumulatively holds trillions of dollars in time deposits that don’t earn a real rate of interest. This is the framework that has been created by modern-day policymakers who have innovated far beyond their biblical counterparts. To put it bluntly, they are robbing savers and taking money surreptitiously from longer-term asset holders who are incorrectly measuring future inflation." - Bill Gross
I can't help wondering if Ben Bernanke can even read. I realize that sounds harsh, but how on earth can he claim inflation is under control? I mean, does this guy even bother reading anymore? He’s an academic right? Isn’t his entire job supposed to consist of reading and thinking?
The ongoing collapse in bond prices is making John Meriwether blush with envy at the wholesale wanton destruction of capital undertaken by Ben Bernanke. Keep in mind LTCM - the organization which proved definitively that Nobel prizes in economics are given only to the most consummate destroyers of value, logic, reason and humility - lost "just" $4.6 billion from its peak before it became the biggest systemic risk in the world back in 1998 and had to be rescued by a consortium of banks. The bottom line: with about $10 billion in SOMA losses today alone, Ben Bernanke has generated more than double the losses that nearly destroyed western finance 13 short years ago. And nobody cares.
Sick of bears explaining QE2? Prefer to watch Jon Stewart roasting the monetary Hewlett Retard instead? Here is your chance. Somehow catching Ben Bernanke lying on national TV has become not only a national sport, but one that provokes uncontrollable laughter... Ironically that is the laughter of all those whose money on a daily basis is worth less and less, courtesy of the Chancellor (Chairman is so QE1) buying back $50 billion in debt every week. Presumably laughing as one's net worth is getting destroyed makes it more palatable. Just wait as the country collapses into uncontrollable hysteric guffaws as the 30 Year mortgage passes 5%, then 6%, then 7%, etc. destroying up to 25% of household net worth.
Ben Bernanke: Economic Recovery May Not Be Self-Sustaining, May Buy More Bonds Depending On InflationSubmitted by Tyler Durden on 12/05/2010 20:23 -0400
Bernanke: Economic Recovery 'May Not Be' Self-Sustaining
Bernanke: Could Buy More Bonds Depending On Inflation, 'How Economy Looks'
Bernanke: Getting 'Awfully Close' To Range Where Prices Start Falling
Bernanke: Could Be 4-5 Years Before US Sees 'More Normal' Unemployment Rate
Bernanke: Defends Plan To Buy Treasury Securities
Bernanke: High Unemployment Rate 'Primary Source Of Risk' To Economy
Bernanke: Double-Dip Recession 'Doesn't Seem Likely'
I would like to feel sorry for Ben Bernanke because of his bumbling and confusion about what to do about the economy, but I can't. Every time he turns around he does the wrong thing. Can you say "cognitive dissonance?"