GOOG

• Comcast Agrees to Buy Time Warner Cable for $45.2 Billion (BBG)
• Italian leadership squabble weighs as shares halt hot run (Reuters)
• Russia says Syria aid draft could open door to military action (Reuters)
• China trust assets rise 46% in 2013  (WSJ), China Trust Assets Surge to $1.8 Trillion Amid Default Risks  (BBG)
• Australian Unemployment Jumps to 10-Year High (BBG)
• Tea Party Scorns Republicans as House Lifts Debt Ceiling (BBG)
• Peso plunge forces Argentine soya hoarding (FT)
• BNP Paribas Net Falls After $1.1 Billion U.S. Legal Charge (BBG)
• Hacking Joins Curriculum as Businesses Seek Cyber Skills (BBG)
• Android's 'Open' System Has Limits (WSJ)
• Blackstone-Fueled Single-Family Home Boom Lifts Chicago (BBG)

• Frustrated by Karzai, U.S. Shifts Afghanistan Exit Plans (WSJ)
• Yellen Testimony Guide From Payrolls Report to Emerging Markets (BBG)
• Gold hits three-month high, shares up ahead of Yellen (Reuters)
• Tightfisted New Owners Put Heinz on Diet (WSJ)
• Senator describes "gruesome" bin Laden photos (Reuters)
• More reasons for the ongoing economic contraction: U.S. Winter Storm Seen Spreading Snow, Sleet Across South (BBG)
• Barclays Cuts Up to 12,000 Jobs as Quarterly Profit Falls  (BBG)
• Boeing Considering 787-Size Medium-Range Jetliners (WSJ)
• AOL Chief Apologizes for ‘Distressed Babies’ Comment (BBG)

Better watch out, bitcoin!

• Here is why AAPL bounced off $500: Apple Repurchases $14 Billion of Own Shares in Two Weeks (WSJ)
• German Court Refers OMT Decision to Europe's Top Court (WSJ)
• Inflation Fuels Crises in Two Latin Nations (WSJ)
• U.S. job growth seen snapping back from winter chill (Reuters)
• Google to own $750 million Lenovo stake after Motorola deal closes: HK exchange (Reuters)
• Frigid Winter Spells Trouble for U.S. Economy (BBG)
• Winter Games to open, Putin keen to prove doubters wrong (Reuters)
• Regulators Ready to Proceed on Bank Leverage Limit (WSJ)
• Abe Eyes Window for Biggest Military-Rule Change Since WWII (BBG)

• Goldman to Fidelity Call for Calm After Global Stock Wipeout (BBG)
• Turnabout on Global Outlook Darkens Investor Mood (Hilsenrath)
• EU Said to Weigh Extending Greek Loans to 50 Years (BBG)
• Second Storm Hitting Northeast Halts Planes, Schools (BBG)
• Small Banks Face TARP Hit (WSJ)
• As Sony prepares PCs exit, pressure mounts for reboot on TVs (Reuters)
• IBM Uses Dutch Tax Haven to Boost Profits as Sales Slide (BBG)
• ECB faces dilemma with inflation drop (FT)
• London Subway Strike Snarls Traffic as Union Opposes Cuts  (BBG)

• Global makets plunge (Reuters)
• Goodbye Mrs. Watanabe - Japan Sees Worst Developed-Stock Rout as Nikkei 225 Drops (BBG)
• Who could have possibly predicted this - Firms Pinched by Pressure to Hold Down Their Prices (WSJ)
• RBA Shifts to Neutral as It Signals Comfort With Aussie’s Level (BBG)
• Fractures Emerge Between Obama, Congressional Democrats (WSJ)
• Brazil suffers record trade deficit (FT)
• El Salvador fisherman washes up in Marshall Islands after year adrift (Reuters)
• Apple Quietly Builds New Networks (WSJ)
• One-year prison sentence for 21-year-old Twitter user who glorified terrorists (El Pais)

• Emerging-Market Rout Seen Enduring on Low Real Rates (BBG)
• After rocky January, markets eye data and central banks (Reuters)
• Europe will feel the pain of emerging markets  (FT)
• Lloyds delays dividend prospect after mis-selling charge (Reuters)
• Snow Set to Snarl New York Commute as U.S. Flights Halted (BBG)
• Rate Decision to Drive Yellen's Early Agenda  (Hilsenrath)
• Thai protesters move to downtown Bangkok in bid to topple PM (Reuters)
• China says Japan's 'hype' on air defence zone spreads tension (Reuters)
• Hedge funds seek 1.8 billion euros damages from members of Porsche's owning family (Reuters)

• Even Obama's fans has turning on him: "The Decline and Fall of 'Hope and Change'"
• European Stocks Drop, Head for Worst January Since 2009 (BBG)
• Euro-Area Inflation at 0.7% Builds Rate Pressure on ECB (BBG)
• Japan’s Inflation Accelerates as Abe Seeks Wage Gains (BBG)
• Unpossible - this is the USSA: Detroit Debt Proposal Favors Pension Funds (WSJ)
• Keystone Report Said Likely to Disappoint Pipeline Foes (BBG)
• YHOO still pretending someone cares about it: Yahoo says detected hacking attempt on email accounts (Reuters)
• How Google's Costly Motorola Maneuver May Pay Off (WSJ)
• Mexico Surpassing Japan as No. 2 Auto Exporter to U.S.  (BBG)

UPDATE: The miss by GOOG and AMZN (accounting for 13% of Nasdaq market cap) is pushing indices lower after hours...

The S&P 500 And Russell bounced once again off post-December-Taper unchanged levels today but the Dow remains flat from 12/18 as the Nasdaq (led by exuberance in momo social media stocks as AAPL closed <$500) jumped the most in almost 4 months (though remains -1% on the year). The rally in stocks was simply remarkable for its tick-for-tick tracking of USDJPY and EM FX and the S&P was unable to make significant progress past its pre-Turkish-rate-hike levels. Treasuries sold off but remain 3-5bps lower in yield than when Turkey was "fixed". The USD rallied on EUR and JPY weakness (but was almost entirely dead once Europe closed). Precious metals were manhandled instantaneously lower at 8amET then spent the rest of the day trying to recover. Stocks did tumble into the close to recouple with USDJPY but bad news was great news it seems...(for now)

• Only time will define Bernanke's crisis-era legacy at Fed (Reuters)
• Record Cash Leaves Emerging Market ETFs (BBG)
• Investors Look Toward Safer Options as Ground Shifts (WSJ)
• Fed Policy Makers Rally Behind Tapering QE as Yellen Era Begins (BBG)
• Rating agencies criticise China’s bailout of failed $500m trust (FT)
• Russia to await new Ukraine government before fully implementing rescue (Reuters)
• U.S. readies financial sanctions against Ukraine: congressional aides (Reuters)
• Companies resist president’s call for minimum wage rise (FT)
• Secret Swiss Funds at Risk as Italy’s Saccomanni Visits Bern (BBG)
• Top Democrat puts Obama trade deals in doubt (FT)
• Erdogan to Give Rate Increase Time Before Trying Other Plans (BBG)

• Emerging markets pray for Wall Street tumble (Reuters)
• Yellen Faces Test Bernanke Failed: Ease Bubbles (BBG)
• Samsung sets new smartphone sales record in fourth quarter, widens lead over Apple (Reuters)
• China’s Foreign-Reserves Investment Chief Said to Depart Agency (BBG)
• China’s Rescue of Troubled Trust May Stoke Risk-Taking (BBG)
• Ukraine PM Azarov offers to resign 'to help end conflict' (Reuters) ... And Russia says may reconsider aid if this happens
• But... but... it was all gold's fault: India Unexpectedly Raises Rate as Rupee Risks Inflation Goal (BBG)
• Former Belgian king 'boycotting' public events after complaining £760,000 is not enough to live on (Telegraph)
• Greek disposable income tumbles 8% in Q3 (Kathimerini)

• Emerging sell-off hits European shares, lifts yen (Reuters) - but not really if you hit refresh since the latest central bank bailout announcement
• Apple’s Holiday Results to Show Whether Growth Is Back (BBG)
• Israel attacked Syrian base in Latakia, Lebanese media reports (Haaretz)
• Abenomics FTW: Japan Posts Record Annual Trade Deficit as Import Bill Soars (BBG)
• When all else fails, Spain's hope lie in a 16th century saint: Saint “might help Spain out of crisis,” says interior minister (El Pais)
• Global Woes Fail to Send Cash Into U.S. Stocks (WSJ)
• IMF's Lagarde sees eurozone inflation "way below target" (Reuters)
• Minimum wage bills pushed in at least 30 states (AP)
• AT&T Gives Up Right to Offer to Buy Vodafone Within 6 Months (BBG)

• NSA phone data control may come to end (AP)
• China to rescue France: Peugeot Said to Weigh $1.4 Billion From Dongfeng, France (BBG)
• China to rescue Davos: Davos Teaches China to Ski as New Rich Lured to Slopes (BBG)
• Hollande’s Tryst and the End of Marriage (BBG)
• Iran has $100 billion abroad, can draw $4.2 billion (Reuters)
• Target Hackers Wrote Partly in Russian, Displayed High Skill, Report Finds (WSJ)
• Nintendo Sees Loss on Dismal Wii U Sales (WSJ)
• Goldman's low-cost Utah bet buoys its bottom-line (Reuters)
• Royal Dutch Shell Issues Profit Warnin: Oil Major Hit by Higher Exploration Costs and Lower Oil and Gas Volumes (WSJ)
• EU Weighs Ban on Proprietary Trading at Some Banks From 2018 (BBG) - so no holding of breaths?
• Sacramento Kings to Accept Bitcoin (WSJ)

You really can't make this shit up. From the funniest person on financial comedy TV (whose most memorable TV appearance will always be roaring that Bear Stearns is fine days before its collapse), here is his "opinion" on Best Sell Buy, entirely in his own words.

When Google bought Nest (for its smart, intrusive thermostat technology that gives the NSA a front-row seat into the heating requirements of Americans), little did it know that it was purchasing an OTC penny stock with the ticker NEST and a market cap of a few hundred thousand. Or maybe, Google knew very well what it paid $3 billion for, and it was the increasingly prevalent idiots that make up the stock market that were confused. Either way, just like TWTRQ was TWTR for a few short days, so NEST (not to be confused with the GOOG acquisition target if even that is precisely what happened) is now the second coming of the unmitigated idiocy that defines the "market" NEST was up 4900% at its peak yesterday on massive volume.