Apple

Being a careful analysis of what happens when a snippy cheerleader grows up to interview a pleasantly-bearded economist on what folks should be doing with their surplus cash.

If you borrow cash then it’s not income. No one in his right mind borrows to buy consumer goods... But what if someone else borrows, is that your income?

The global Bubble is bursting – hence financial conditions are tightening. Bubbles never provide a convenient time to tighten monetary policy. Best practices would require central bankers to tighten early before Bubble Dynamics take firm hold. Central bankers instead nurture and accommodate Bubble excess. It ensures a policy dead end -  the faltering global Bubble has progressed beyond the point where Fed rate policy has much impact.

"This is a risky business. Can they get it wrong? Absolutely they can get it wrong."

• Stocks slip for fifth straight day, euro holds steady (Reuters)
• VW recall letters in April warned of an emissions glitch (Reuters)
• VW Cheating Scandal Threatens to Ensnare BMW as Probe Widens (BBG)
• Pope Francis set to address fractious U.S. Congress (Reuters)
• Norway Cuts Rates to Record Low to Save Economy From Oil Slump (BBG)
• Taiwan Cuts Rate for First Time Since 2009 as Exports Falter (BBG)
• Janet Yellen to speak at UMass on Thursday (Daily Collegian)
• A Big Bet That China’s Currency Will Devalue Further (NYT)
• Debt Relief for Students Snarls Market for Their Loans (WSJ)

"The politicians cannot understand that they are destroying your future. All they can see is their need to retain power... We are reaching the end of this noose around our neck that was placed there by Marx. What you need to do is take back government. You cannot create a solution with the same line of thinking that created the current mess. The future belongs to the youth. Understand the devil you are dancing with. It is time to become politically active and challenge the establishment for that is the only way to save the future."

• Global Stocks Steady Despite China Slowdown (WSJ)
• European Recovery Saves Markets From China Gloom as Stocks Rally (BBG)
• Pope starts U.S. trip with tone of conciliation (Reuters)
• FBI Said to Recover Personal E-Mails From Hillary Clinton Server (BBG)
• Volkswagen chief faces grilling by board over diesel scandal (Reuters)
• 'European Detroit' Fear Grips VW Company Town as Scandal Widens (BBG)
• Berlin finds itself caught up in Volkswagen scandal (FT)

• Pressure builds on Volkswagen CEO as emissions-cheating probe spreads (Reuters)
• Volkswagen Emissions Scandal Relates to 11 Million Cars (WSJ)
• Volkswagen Emissions Investigations Should Widen to Entire Auto Industry, Officials Say (WSJ)
• Germany's Bosch makes VW's U.S. diesel components (Reuters)
• Volkswagen scandal will have personnel consequences - state economy minister (Reuters)
• Glencore Falls to Record as Mining Shares Lead Stock Losses (BBG)
• Despite Slump, China’s Xi Jinping Pledges Economic Reforms (WSJ)

While Asian trading overnight started off on the right foot, chasing US momentum higher, things rapidly shifted once Europe opened as attention moved back to global growth fears, global central banks losing credibility, as well as miners and the ongoing Volkswagen fiasco.

AsiaPac stocks are opening mixed after the US session gains. Perhaps the biggest news of the evening is, as China's bankiong regulator has been meeting with foreign banks to express concerns over lack of risk control around non-performing loans. As CBRC said, rather stunningly honest for a government entity, "the current situation is more severe than the time in 2008 during the financial crisis." With stocks up while commodities (Zinc) limit-down, PBOC injects another CNY50 bn and devalued the Yuan fix for the 2nd day in a row.

News That Matters

• Fed is out so...BOJ brainstorms stimulus overhaul as options dwindle (Reuters)
• And... Yellen Pause Ups Pressure on Draghi as Global Pessimism Mounts (BBG)
• But... Eurozone Nears Limits of What Monetary Policy Can Do (WSJ)
• Global shares struggle on global growth concerns (Reuters)
• VW's Emissions Cheating Found by Curious Clean-Air Group (BBG)
• David Cameron allegedly fucked a dead pig's head (Mirror)

For China's middle class, whose dreams of market bubble riches just went up in a margin call, there is still hope to pretend to be richer than one's neighbor courtesy of a faux rose gold cell phone. The answer: a tablespoon of sperm. As Xinhua reports, "technophiles may not have to reach far to find the cash for Apple's latest model. According to an advertisement with the Shanghai Sperm Bank - all you have to do is donating." "No need to sell a kidney...Shanghai sperm bank can make your iPhone 6s dream come true," says the ad which has gone viral on China's most popular social networking app WeChat this week.