Jamie Dimon

• Sensitive Market Data Leaked After Government Phone Call (WSJ)
• This is a actual Bloomberg headline: China Fake Data to Skew More Export Numbers (BBG)
• This is another actual BBG headline: U.S. as Global Growth Engine Putt-Putts Instead of Purring (BBG)
• Ukraine wants to buy European gas to boost energy security (Reuters)
• JPMorgan Profit Falls 19% on Trading, Mortgage Declines (BBG)
• Record Europe Dividends Keep $2.8 Trillion From Factories (BBG)
• Why is Goldman shutting down Sigma X: SEC eyes test that may lead to shift away from 'dark pools' (Reuters)
• Ebola Outbreak Empties Hotels as West Africa Borders Closed (BBG)
• Australian PM says searchers confident of position of MH370's black boxes (Reuters)
• Gross Says El-Erian Should Explain Reason for Exit (BBG)

When one thinks of the bailout-taking, London-Whale-suffering, regulatory-fine-paying, pay-rise-taking CEO of JPMorgan, the first analogy is not the philosophical similarities between Jamie Dimon and Martin Luther King. But, according to Dimon's letter to shareholders below, he feels injustice has been done and quotes MLK on the future ahead. "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice" Progress, sometimes painful and slow, has been happening all around us all the time, and the optimist in me believes that it will continue." What a year... he begins.

Most Buy Side managers have no idea about the disparate business models of the four largest US banks by assets. 

after shocking the world with its unilateral decision to halt Russian money transfers without a direct order from the administration, Reuters reports that JPM has folded and will process said payment from Russia's embassy in Kazakhstan to insurance agency Sogaz, easing tension after Moscow accused the U.S. bank of illegally blocking the transaction under the pretext of sanctions.

A week ago we wrote: 'While it has been public for a long time that i) JPM is eager to sell its physical commodities business and ii) the most likely buyer was little known Swiss-based Mercuria, there was nothing definitive released by JPM. Until moments ago, when Jamie Dimon formally announced that JPM is officially parting ways with the physical commodities business. But while contrary to previous expectations, following the sale JPM will still provide commercial gold vaulting operations around the world, it almost certainly means farewell to Blythe Masters." Sure enough:

JP MORGAN COMMODITY CHIEF BLYTHE MASTERS LEAVING, WSJ SAYS       

Farewell Blythe: we hope your replacement will be just as skilled in keeping the price of physical gold affordable for those of us who keep BTFD every single day.

It just hasn't been JPMorgan's year. Or several years for that matter. The bank which has been on a steady downward slope when it comes to paying billions in quarterly "non-recurring, one-time" legal settlements and charges, and for which engaging in criminal behavior which is neither admitted nor denied, yet which has cost JPM nearly $30 billion in the past several years, has just had its latest "wristslapping" incident, one which involves none other than the recently departed CEO of JPM Asia, Fang Fang, whose office was raided on March 26 by Hong Kong's anti-corruption agency amid a U.S. investigation into the bank’s hiring practices as reported by Bloomberg.

• One-Ship Ukraine Navy Defies Russia to the End (WSJ)
• Crimea-Induced Trading Surge Stokes Moscow Exchange Rally (BBG)
• Moscow says Ukraine stops Russian crews disembarking in Kiev (Reuters)
• New images show more than 100 objects that could be plane debris (Reuters)
• Anger of Flight 370 Families Explodes in Beijing (BBG)
• Murdoch Promotes Son Lachlan in Succession Plan for Empire (BBG)
• Facebook to buy virtual reality goggles maker for $2 billion (Reuters)
• Syrian Regime Exploits Rebel Despair (WSJ)
• King Digital IPO price may not bode well for stock (Reuters)
• Rothschild in Twitter Spat as Bakries Cut Ties With Miner (BBG)

It's mid-March, which means it is time for the annual confidence boosting theatrical spectacle known as the Fed's stress test (for those who may have forgotten last year's farce when Jamie Dimon preempted the Fed by announcing a dividend in advance of the results, can read here). And like in the past, there were absolutely no surprises with 29 of 30 banks passing with flying colors. Of course, since it is a "test", and someone has the be sacrificial calf, this year that honor falls to Zions Bankshares. Last year its was Citi, SunTrust and MetLife. In both years the results are completely meaningless, as the Fed neither then, nor now, has any methodology for how to calculate capital in case of the same kind of counterparty failure chain as happened during Lehman, and when no amount of capital would have been sufficient to preserve the financial sector. Like we said: theatrical spectacle. But at least everyone's confidence has been boosted. So Buy stawks, and build your paper wealth! And here is the truly funny part: in the baseline stress test scenario, the Dow Jones "plunges" to 11.4K in Q3 2014, and then somehow surges back to all time highs by Q4 2016! Does the Fed understand the word Stress?

While it has been public for a long time that i) JPM is eager to sell its physical commodities business and ii) the most likely buyer was little known Swiss-based Mercuria, there was nothing definitive released by JPM. Until moments ago, when Jamie Dimon formally announced that JPM is officially parting ways with the physical commodities business. But while contrary to previous expectations, following the sale JPM will still provide commercial gold vaulting operations around the world, it almost certainly means farewell to Blythe Masters.

Is the U.S. economy steamrolling toward another recession?  Will 2014 turn out to be a major "turning point" when we look back on it?  Before we get to the evidence, it is important to note that there are many economists that believe that the United States never actually got out of the last recession.  In fact, that would fit with the daily reality of tens of millions of Americans that are deeply suffering in this harsh economic environment.  But no matter whether we are in a "recession" at the moment or not, there are an increasing number of indications that we are rapidly plunging into another major economic slowdown.  The following are the top 12 signs that the U.S. economy is heading toward another recession...

It was less than a month ago when Barclays announced it would fire 12,000 workers after posting abysmal earnings with Q4 banking income crashing 37% and overall income sliding 9%. So, one would think, its employees would be punished with lower pay - those that are lucky enough to keep their jobs of course. One would be wrong. Reuters just reported that 481 of Barclays employees were paid 1 million pounds ($1.7 million) or more last year, 53 more than in the year before, and most of them were based in the United States. Barcalys' immutable rationale - fear of losing the traders to a better-paying competitor. Like who - is the Fed hiring again?

Jefferies, Deutsche Bank, and now Citi and JPMorgan are all facing a collapse in trading volumes as Bloomberg reports the two banks brace for a fourth straight drop in first-quarter trading revenues - a period of the year when the largest investment banks typically earn the most from that business. “It sounds like more bloodletting on Wall Street,” warns one analyst, as Citi expects trading revenue to drop by a “high mid-teens” percentage.

The last time JPMorga had an investor day, Jamie Dimon explained to Mike Mayo why he is richer than him (and pretty much anyone else). This year, Jamie will be more focused on explaining to 8,000 JPM workers why after firing 16,500 people in consumer and mortgage banking, the bank will now let go another 2K and 6K in those same two groups (which will bring total mortgage and consumer banking headcount reductions between 2013 and 2014 to at least 17K and 7.5K, respectively). This may be tricky especially in the context of, you know, the housing and economic recovery, and stuff.

Take a wild guess...

• Yellen's first test (Reuters)
• Let weak banks die, says eurozone super-regulator (FT)
• Yellen, Carney Face Explaining Policy as Benchmarks Near (BBG)
• Commerzbank Said Seeking Debt Buyers in $6.8 Billion Spain Exit (BBG)
• Junk Yield Premiums Soar on China’s Looming First Default (BBG)
• Millions Trapped in Health-Law Coverage Gap (WSJ)
• Mandel Tops Best-Earning Hedge Funds for Clients in 2013 (BBG)
• Swiss Brace for Sour EU Relations After Immigration Vote (BBG)
• Detroit Bankruptcy Talks to Resume (WSJ)