Jamie Dimon

• Microsoft prepares U-turn on Windows 8 (FT), Microsoft admits failure on Windows 8 (MW), After Bumpy Start, Microsoft Rethinks Windows 8 (NYT)
• China reports four more bird flu deaths, toll rises to 31 (Reuters)
• Republicans shift stance on US budget (FT)
• NYC Tallest Condo Corridor Gets New Entrant With Steinway (BBG)
• U.S. Says China's Government, Military Used Cyberespionage (WSJ)
• China rejects Pentagon charges of military espionage (Reuters)
• Bank of China Cuts Off North Korean Bank (WSJ)
• Libya defense minister quits over siege of ministries by gunmen (Reuters)
• London Recruiter Says City Job Vacancies Rose 19% (BBG)
• Colleges Cut Prices by Providing More Financial Aid (WSJ)  or, said otherwise, loans
• Jeweler agrees to plead guilty in KPMG insider-trading case (LA Times)

One year after the infamous Jamie Dimon "tempest in a teapot" fiasco, which promptly turned out to be the biggest TBTF prop-trading desk debacle in history, things were going well for JPMorgan. On one hand, the chairman of the TBAC (and thus US Treasury advisor and policy administrator), and former LTCM trader, Matt Zames, was just recently promoted to the sole second in command post at the biggest US bank (and 2nd biggest in the world) by assets, and first in line to take over from Jamie Dimon. On the other hand, one of Mary Jo White's former co-workers, and a JPM defense attorney from Debevoise just became head of the SEC's enforcement division, in theory guaranteeing that the US government would never do more than slap the wrist of JPM in perpetuity. And then, when everything seemed like smooth sailing ahead, the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission (FERC) showed up on March 13, the day before Carl Levin's committee released its latest report on JPM's prop trading blunder, and according to the NYT, alleged that JPM in the past several years, quietly became nothing short than the next Enron. ... But what is worst for JPM, and its brilliant (abovementioned) employee, often times credited with creating the Credit Default Swap product and market (simply an instrument to trade credit with negligible upfront collateral and thus allow equity option-like speculation in the credit realm), is that FERC may be seeking to throw the book at none other than Blythe Masters.

• Euro-Area Unemployment Increases to Record 12.1% Amid Recession (BBG)
• Fed faces calls for radical reform (FT) - Has Jamie Dimon approved of this message? No? Carry on then
• CEO Pay 1,795-to-1 Multiple of Wages Skirts U.S. Law (BBG)
• Ex-UBS Executive Convicted of Paid Sex With Underage Girl (BBG)
• Six months after Sandy, New York fuel supply chain still vulnerable (Reuters)
• Older, richer shoppers lead Japan’s surge in consumer spending (FT)
• Sharp euro zone inflation fall, joblessness point to ECB rate cut (G&M)
• Gold Rush From Dubai to Turkey Saps Supply as Premiums Jump (BBG)
• Japan Industrial Output, Retail Sales Disappoint (MW)
• Gunmen surround Libyan justice ministry (Reuters)
• Insider-Trading Probe Trains Lens on Boards (WSJ)
• Best Buy exits Europe (WSJ)
• Banker Roommates Follow Zuckerberg Not Blankfein With IvyConnect (BBG)

• Gold Bears Defy Rally as Goldman Closes Short Wager (BBG)
• Still stuck on central-bank life support (Reuters)
• Ebbing Inflation Means More Easy Money (BBG)
• So much for socialist wealth redistribution then? François Hollande to woo French business with tax cut (FT)
• Billionaires Flee Havens as Trillions Pursued Offshore (BBG)
• Companies Feel Pinch on Sales in Europe (WSJ)
• Brussels plan will ‘kill off’ money funds (FT)
• Danes as Most-Indebted in World Resist Credit (BBG)
• Syria says prime minister survives Damascus bomb attack (Reuters)
• Syria: Al-Qaeda's battle for control of Assad's chemical weapons plant (Telegraph)
• Nokia Betting on $20 Handset as It Loses Ground on IPhone (BBG)
• Rapid rise of chat apps slims texting cash cow for mobile groups (FT)
• Calgary bitcoin exchange fighting bank backlash in Canada (Calgary Herald)

The man who is the chief advisor to the US Treasury on its debt funding and issuance strategy was just promoted to the rank of second most important person at the biggest commercial bank in the US by assets (of which it was $2.5 trillion), and second biggest commercial bank in the world. And soon, Jamie willing, Matt is set for his final promotion, whereby he will run two very different enterprises: JPMorgan Chase and, by indirect implication, United States, Inc.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you take over the world.

When just one firm accounts for 99.3% of the physical gold sales at the COMEX in the last three months it’s not what most of us on this side of the rainbow would consider “broad-based” selling.  Of course discovering this kind of relevant information requires an internet connection, 2nd grade math and reading skills, and the desire to do a teeny-weeny bit of reporting.  Sadly they’ve wandered so far down the rabbit hole that the concept of “physical demand” (i.e. people actually wanting to take possession of the stuff) is puzzling to them because the vast majority of the world’s so-called “gold-trading” takes place in the realm of make believe (which is their natural habitat).  It’s all fun and games until somebody loses their metal and “somebody” has lost one hell of a lot of metal in the last 90 days... J P Morgan has fumbled ownership of 1,966,000 Troy ounces of gold since February 1.  That’s 74% more gold than the US mint delivered through the US mint’s American Eagle program in all of 2012.  I mention this because there’s little doubt in my mind that the US government is one of JPM’s gold “customers.”  So (if I am correct) the same US government who just let the Morgue dump its gold on the COMEX floor will once again be suspending gold sales to peasants.

It appears Chuck has finally met his match, and his name is Jamie...

Let's get down to the facts of the recent banker gold & silver paper price smash and the lies about the banker gold & silver paper price smash being propagated by the mass media and banking shills like Paul Krugman so everyone can understand why this smash will blow up in the face of the very bankers that executed it at some point down the road. Retail individuals AND global institutions all around the world are finally beginning to understand that physical ownership of gold and silver is how to counter banker fraud & intervention into the gold and silver markets and this realization is going to produce massive blowback.

Earlier today, as part of our JPM earnings recap we observed that "VaR plunged from $106 to $62" and wondered if it was just just "another excel copy/paste error" which as we reported previously, is what JPM's internal audit attributed much of the confusion surrounding JPM's VaR calculation around the time the London Whale blow up nearly doubled the firm's VaR. Because it is always better to blame a clueless intern for botching Excel than to put the blame where it rightfully belongs.  It turns out that as frequently happens, there was a dose of financial surreality behind the humor. As Bloomberg reports, the reason for the nearly 50% collapse in the company's reported maximum value at risk was because of, drumroll, yet another change in the model. 'JPMorgan said today it employed a new formula to judge the risk of its credit derivatives position, at least the fourth such model it’s used since January 2012. The portfolio was built by Bruno Iksil, known as the London Whale because his bets were so big they moved markets."

Now is the time to think about how you would live your life if your real value was appreciated and fairly compensated.

Reclaiming the Founding Fathers' Vision of Prosperity

• Euro zone call notes reveal extent of alarm over Cyprus (Reuters)
• Stagnant Japan Rolls Dice on New Era of Easy Money (WSJ)
• Cyprus, European data batters shares and euro (Reuters)
• UK cuts taxes to revive stagnant economy (FT)
• "Quality Control" Rat Body Linked to Blackout at Fukushima (NYT)
• North Korea issues fresh threat to U.S., South probes hacking (Reuters)
• South Korea Says Chinese Code Used in Computer Attack (BBG)
• Osborne paves way for Carney to retool Bank of England (Reuters)
• Carney Gets ‘Escape Velocity’ Mandate With Limiter (BBG)
• Osborne Pledges Five More Years of U.K. Austerity (BBG)
• Bernanke Saying He’s Dispensable Suggests Tenure Ending (BBG)
• Senate Passes Bill to Fund Operations (WSJ)

• Cypriot Bank Levy Is ‘Ominous’ for Bondholders, Barclays Says (BBG)
• Euro, Stocks Drops; Gold, German Bonds Rally on Cyprus (BBG)
• Total chaos:Cyprus tries to rework divisive bank tax (Reuters)
• More total chaos: Cyprus Prepares New Deposit-Tax Proposal (WSJ)
• Euro Slides Most in 14 Months on Cyprus Turmoil; Yen Strengthens (BBG)
• Osborne to admit fresh blow to debt target (FT)
• Even the Finns are giving up: Finnish Government May Relinquish Deficit Target to Boost Growth (BBG)
• Moody’s Sees Defaults as PBOC Warns on Local Risks (BBG)
• Australia Faces ‘Massive Hit’ to Government Revenue, Swan Says (BBG)
• Inside a Warier Fed, Watch the New Guy (Hilsenrath)
• Obama to Tap Perez for Labor Secretary (WSJ) - and with that the "minorities" quota is full
• Finally, this should be good: BuzzFeed to Launch Business Section (WSJ)

On April 13, 2012 Jamie Dimon described the situation at the CIO as massively overblown and said it was just "a tempest in a teapot." A few days later, the head CIO trader, Javier Martin-Artajo, when speaking to the former JPM Chief Investment Officer, Ina Drew, had a less sanguine description: "and, and, you know, things like this, it's like the twin towers falling down." Let's agree to disagree and just compromise on "tempest in a towering inferno." But that's not the point of this post. The point is in the same transcript we learn that it was none other than Ina Drew who told Artejo that "it would be helpful, if appropriate, to get, to start getting a little bit of that mark back" and instructed the Spaniard to go ahead and "tweak" the daily P&L on the CIO portfolio by "an extra basis point." Nothing like your supervisor telling you to fudge marks just to demonstrate that the "curve is starting to trend."

On October 2, 2012, news hit that Barry Zubrow, JPM's Chief Risk Officer from November 2007 to January 2012 (in other words, key supervisor of the risk onboarded by the CIO, aka JPM's prop trading desk, for the biggest part of its existence), and then briefly head of corporate and regulatory affairs, would retire from JPMorgan. As Bloomberg reported then, "Now is the right time in my life" to retire, Zubrow, 59, wrote to colleagues in a note today. "We have learned from the mistakes of our recent trading losses." We wonder, if the time was "right" for Zubrow's retirement because the firm realized that the Senate was in possession of the following email sent from Zubrow on April 12, a day before the first fateful Q1 earnings preview conference call in which Jamie Dimon, responding to media reports of Iksil's blow up, said the whole situation was a "tempest in a teapot", in which the Chief Risk Officer essentially told the firm's executives: Braunstein and Dimon, to lie to the public and shareholders?