KKR

According to CNBC, Goldman is now seeking to sell its prop trading desk. And somehow private equity firm KKR is rumored to be involved. Let's say that again: a private equity firm (that typically has a 3-5 year investment horizon and a capital lock up even longer) is alleged to be looking at a principal trading desk (i.e. a hedge fund that has a 3-5 second investment horizon). So either KKR is becoming a hedge fund, or the firm's principals have decided to shorten their lock up to the industry average +/-3 days. Nonetheless, as this news was most certainly better than expected, the KKR follow-on offering should now have no problems to be completed without a glitch.

It's official - KKR has pulled its US Offering (S-1). It appears distribution is actually a relevant metric when it comes to pricing overbloated, DOA PE corpses (especially when the memory of BX and FIG is still fresh). HFTs get an F for pushing the market up 10% on next to negative volume. And since when is a parabolic move up of almost 10% considered "Unfavorable Market Conditions." Just how much bullshit is going on behind the scenes of this market?

Just like Blackstone's IPO marked the market peak to the very day back in 2007, so the latest incarnation of the top tick indicator, KKR's commencement of trading on the NYSE is now scheduled for July 15. Mark your calendars appropriately. And for those who are dying to find out all there is about the KKR founders bank accounts and private net worth, the WSJ has done a good job of drilling down almost to bank account level detail for the Co-CEOs (who both got paid $250,000 in 2009).

Discount retailer Dollar General, which KKR acquired in March 2007 for $7 billion is about to be sold to a new batch of investors who believe in top ticking the market.

Canadian door manufacturer Masonite, which in 2005 was acquired by KKR for $2.5 billion, has prenegotiated the terms of its upcoming bankruptcy with its lenders. The company which breached covenants as long ago as middle of 2008 has long been expected to file for chapter 11.

Probably not the best thing to tell your investors who are dying to pull their money after this morning's sterling announcement. Comments coming from a KKR conference call. Adds Kravis "The financial system has not yet normalized." This the kind of laser insight you need to get several rooms in the MOMA named after you.