Friday Farce: 16 Year Old Outperforms 99% Of Hedge Funds: "Oh My Gosh, That's So Easy, I Have To Do This"Submitted by Tyler Durden on 02/08/2013 12:31 -0500
Forget Ackman, Einhorn, Bass, And Hendry. There is only one name in the world of equity market performance in 2012 - Rachel Fox, of 'Desperate Housewives' fame. With a 30%-plus performance, the day-trading debutante has turned from actress to activist as she day-trades her way through the day. The 16-year-old actress who made 338 trades last year, based mostly on technicals, ""...fell in love with the idea and the concept of being able to just buy something, have it go up, or have it go down, depending on which way you bet it and have it make you money. I thought, oh, my, gosh, that's amazing, and so easy, I have to do this." If ever there was a sign of the extreme bubble that central planning has re-created for us - it has to be this. Her advice: "you have to really just trade on your own instincts and not just be like, oh, this person says this is great, let me just go for it." LOL, OMG, IKR ;-( Our advice: next time readers are discussing stock tips with a random employee of Hustler Club, Scores or Spearmint Rhino - don't just stare, listen! Said 'random employee' is almost certainly outpeforming the "smart money", and the broader market, by a wide margin. Thank you Ben.
America's welfare state is about to suffer a double whammy of epic proportions. On one hand, extended unemployment benefits are now running out at a pace of 100,000+ per week, as more and more American's lose eligibility for Komrade Samov's 99-week sponsored vacation, meaning millions of Americans heretofore sitting comfortably on their couch playing Call of Duty and collecting $400 a week will now start having to think for a change - never a good thing for any regime that relies on its electorate to be docile as drunk and fat Hindu cows. And now this: "New York would prohibit welfare recipients from spending their tax-funded benefits on cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, and strip clubs under a bill passed overwhelmingly by the state Senate on Tuesday. "I understand that people need food stamps," said Republican Sen. Thomas Libous, a Broome County Republican. "What I don't understand is why they need to go to strip clubs, buy lottery tickets, go to a 'racino' or buy alcohol." Wait, you mean you can't spend other people's money to pay for a lap dance? What crazy form of inhumane austerity is this. And isn't spending taxpayer dollars at the Spearmint Rhino one of the amendments to the post-Obama constitution? But perhaps the scariest implication is that New Yorkers actually do spend their EBT money at the Spearmint Rhino right off the card, being ripped off with the traditional 15% plastic surcharge instead of just paying cash. Now that is really stupid.
So we know that the pro-bailout parties in Greece have failed to form a coalition, and that this will either mean an anti-bailout anti-austerity government, or new elections, and that this will probably mean that the Greek default is about to become extremely messy (because let’s face it the chances of the Greek people electing a pro-austerity, pro-bailout government is about as likely as Hillary Clinton quitting her job at the State Department and seeking a job shaking her booty at Spearmint Rhino). It was said that the E.U.’s existence was justified in the name of preventing the return of nationalism and fascism to European politics. Well, as a result of the austerity terms imposed upon Greece by their European cousins in Brussels and Frankfurt, Greeks just put a fully-blown fascist party into Parliament.
By now if you don't know the trajectory that the federal government has set on with monetizing virtually anything and everything, you must be living somewhere deep in the green shoot forest with only enough WiFi/cable coverage to get CNBC. But while the government and its "reserve" are set on a specific course, the fate of individual states in the US is far less certain (for example, if Arnie could print Spearmint Rhino funny money and buy the miles and miles of unwanted inventory in Long Beach harbor, he would; unlucky for the strippers, and lucky for everyone else, he can't.
After losing his shirt, bifocals, and the backup tire of his Jeep Cherokee by assuming that Ford and GM are actually competitive in the global car market, Kirk Kerkorian is allegedly selling one of his prize jewels on the LV strip: the MGM Mirage.