THE GLOBAL BANKSTA SEXICON
(Jargon used in the Symbiotic Global Financial/Sexual industrial complex)
Collected by Banzai7 Institute of Banksta Behavioral Studies
ALL NIGHT MAN: One who frequents bottle bars.
ALT A: An angle of approach.
ANALYST: John who talks too much.
ANALYST CALL: Phone sex
ARB: One who exploits price differentials for call services at different venues.
ARRANGEMENT FEE: Madam's cut.
ASSET CLASS: Quality of lady.
ATM: A regular John
BAILOUT: Session on credit.
BALLOON: Condom
BANK LETTER: A client reference
BARBARIAN: Client employed in Private equity industry.
BARBARIAN AT THE GATE: Private equity CEO soliciting services.
BARE BACK TRADER: One who does not use a condom.
BASH AND DASH: A quickie
BIG BOARD: Craig's list
BIG UGLIES: Bankers over 50
BILLABLE HOURS: Client time
BLACK BOX: Proprietary tricks of the trade.
BOILER-ROOM: Internet call girl operation.
BUCKET SHOP: Asian massage parlor.
BULL RUN: Doing it with Viagra
BEAR RUN: Doing it without Condom
FRENCH BOUDOIR: John Thain's office.
BOUTIQUE SERVICE: Specialized services
BUTTERFLY SPREADER: Client who skips around
CABBAGE STAINS & MORE LLP: Prominent Wall Street law firm
CALL DATE: An appointment.
CAP AND COLLAR: S&M session
CAR SERVICE: Session in a limousine.
CDS: Creamy delicious sex
CHURN: Foreplay
CLOSING BELL: End of session
COMMODE: In suite.
COMPOUNDING: Multiple partners in one session
CROWN JEWELS: Genitalia
DAY TRADER: Client who only books in the afternoons.
DEAD BEAT: Banker from a bailed out firm.
DEAD CAT BOUNCE: Getting it up at the end of a session.
DEPRECIATING ASSET: Effects of aging
DERIVATIVE TRADING: Exchanging clients.
DOWN-TICK: Unaroused
DSK: French kissing.
EXIT STRATEGY: Client specified happy ending
EXOTIC OPTION: Special services.
FAT TAIL: Big booty
FIBONACCI NUMBERS: Menstrual cycle
FIDUCIARY DUTY: Code of silence (imagined just like in Boardrooms)
FIRM COMMITMENT UNDERWRITING: Firm paying the bill.
FLIP OVER: Both sides
FORBES RICH LIST: Maddam's field guide
FOREX DEALER: Establishment making a market in foreign service providers.
GOLDEN PARACHUTE: Designer condom
GOING DOWNTOWN: Off to a session.
GROSS SPREAD: Ungroomed
HEDGING: Arranging two call dates on the same day.
GOING LONG: Overnight
GOING SHORT: short session
GOING TO THE PRINTERS: An all night session.
GOLDEN HANDCUFFS: Popular accessory
GREEN MAIL: First timer
HOSTILE BID: Competing bid for an appointment.
INFLATED ASSETS: Silicon enhancement.
JOHN: Client; also a well known former CEO of a well known investment bank.
LBO: The smell of a French John
LEVEL 1, LEVEL 2, LEVEL 3: Service strata
LOCK UP AGREEMENT: Exclusive use of a girl.
LUNCH OUT: Lunch session
MILE HIGH CLUB: Girls who have done tricks on French built corporate aircraft.
NAKED SHORT: Elliot Spitzer
OFF BALANCE SHEET TRANSACTION: Creative financing
OFFSHORE TRANSACTION: Out of country session
ONE STOP SHOP: Full service provider like a universal bank.
OPENING BELL: Start of session
OUTLIER or BLACK SWAN EVENT: Deviant sexual behaviour
OUT OF THE BOX: Sex without penetration.
PIMP: Wall Street headhunter
POISON PILL: Counterfeit Viagra
POMO: A common downtown pole dancing style
PONZI SCHEME: Using client money to pay for services.
PRIME RATE: Highest fee payable.
PRO BONO: Without charge
OTC: Over the counter Viagra
PINK SHEETS: Back section of Village Voice.
RANDOM WALK: A trick without a reference or bank letter
RATING: Bust size (DD, DDD etc.)
RATING AGENCY: Call girl operation.
RISK FACTORS: Everyone has his or her own.
ROAD SHOW: Taking the girls out on the town.
SECURITIZATION: issuing false credit card invoices for sexual services.
SMITH BARNEY: Client that likes doing it "the old fashioned way."
SPREAD: Difference between bid and asked prices.
STANDARD DEVIATION: Normal sexual behaviour.
STREET NAME: Alias identity
THE STREET: 8th Avenue
TIGER WOOD: A perpetual hard on
SUB-PRIME DEALER: Street Pimp
TIME SHEETS: Daily tally of Billable hours
2/20: Performance based fee arrangement.
TOP UP: Extra time
TRADING BOOK: Madam's list of clients.
TRADING ROOM: S&M lair
TRIPLE WITCHING: Three girls at once
UNDERWRITER: He who foots the bill
UP-SELL: Renegotiating price mid transaction.
UPTICK: Aroused
USEFUL LIFE: 30 minus age of call girl.
WATER SPORTS: Service provided on client's yacht.
WHITE NIGHT: Client who becomes spouse or boyfriend.
ZOMBIE: Banker from former Lehman or Bear Sterns, on Ambien
Suggested additions are welcome...
