By Michael Every of Rabobank
A Game of Two Halves
“So just a few seconds on the clock left in the first half, and what have you made of it so far?”
“Well, to be fair Inflationistas must be feeling sick as a parrot. They came out storming against Deflationistas and managed to take that key early lead, Bullwhip heading in at both the left and the right post, totally unmarked - 1-0, 2,-0, bam!“
“That’s right. Powell in the heart of the Deflationistas defence looked totally confused. Is his head right? I am sure they will keep him on for the second half because the only real sub, Brainard, is untested at this level: but if it goes to extra time, do you think we will see a substitution?”
“Very likely in my opinion. But would that help the defence or not?”
“Indeed. After going 2-0 up, Inflationistas kept pressing, and sent Biden off on a mazy run – but each he ran into his own team-mate, Manchin, before he could shoot!”
“Inflationistas had many other opportunities too. The powerhouse center-forward Labour -controversially given a one-off bonus even if he wasn’t picked to play- really looked like he might score for the first time in years. But that niggling hamstring injury the team never seem to treat right saw him pull up – why don’t they ever get that treated properly?”
“Yes, you could see it really deflated the whole team psychology – even the crowd too.”
“Then one of the best-performing players for Inflationistas, Beijing, sat back just when the crowd thought he would press forward. He seems really out of puff – would you credit it?”
“Well, he has been doing so much running for the past few years – really carrying the rest. Maybe he is saving something up for extra time, or if there has to be a replay?”
“Perhaps. But then back came Deflationistas to score three times! Lumber smashed in an outrageous goal that really turned a lot of heads; and then Inflationistas were caught napping in their own half twice in quick succession, and Transitory-Rhetoric -who frankly has been trying the same predictable strategy over and over- went through and scored easy goals.”
“That’s right. So 2-3 to Deflationistas, and so much to look forward to in the second half.”
“For me the critical question is if Biden will get his act together with Manchin or not. But they will both need much better supply, otherwise all their efforts are going to be wasted.”
“Also key is the new signing for Inflationistas, Pfizer-Moderna-AZ-Johnson-and-Johnson. He was really putting up a solid defence against pressing attacks from Covid for Deflationistas, but as the half progressed Covid started varying his play more. The other defenders, Sinovac and Sputnik, have not really imposed themselves on the game yet. So it’s really all to play for.”
“Yes, and Deflationistas have a real problem with energy - and Powell really does look wobbly. Meanwhile, Inflationistas still have Steel pushing up, and Drought waiting to make an impact on the wing – and Rent and Housing can always do damage given a chance when they come on, as we saw in yesterday’s stats. But will the manager treat Labour’s old injury, make sure Manchin doesn’t get in Biden’s way – and, crucially, tell the team to keep the ball more rather than always giving away possession to the other team so cheaply?”
“At the end of the day, it’s a game of two halves, and the team who scores the most goals wins.”
Sticking with a football theme today, I must add: “They think Brexit is all over – it is now!” This after England beat Germany 2-0, winning only their second major knock-out game at the Euros since 1996, the first not involving penalties since goodness knows when, and setting up a quarter final with Ukraine – which on paper even looks winnable. The majority of readers of this Daily are not English, but this news still provides an interesting sociological snapshot of how a country’s media reacts:
The Guardian: England beat Germany as Sterling and Kane send them to Euro 2020 last eight
The Times: England beat Germany to reach quarter-finals
The Telegraph: Finally something to cheer about: England knock out Germany to advance to the quarter finals
The Daily Mail: By George, We Did It!
The Daily Express: Thunderstorm erupts over 'devastated' Germany fans in Berlin after Euros thrashing, which is rather sedate for such an anti-EU paper - but only because the main headline is about Boris’s new masterplan to de-regulate the UK into a new global role.
The Mirror: Time to Dream (which might apply to the Boris news as much as the football).
The Sun: It’s Coming Rome! England 2 Germany 0
So set your super soar-away pun-o-meters to Ukraine, which will prove a challenge (‘Chicken Kyiv’ is surely going to be in the mix, ‘O-dear-sa’ a strong second place, and perhaps a punt at something along the lines of ‘Not very Dni-pro’ or ‘From England with Lviv’), your geolocation to Rome, where the game is hosted, and your calendar to this Saturday night Central European time.
And for everyone else, the second half of 2021’s Inflationistas vs. Deflationistas is about to get underway – and did you see the absolute scorcher from rent and housing reports in the US yesterday?