Paul Ryan Pans Schumer, Pokes Clinton, Picks On Trump At Al Smith Dinner Roast

As opposed to the awkward cat calls and snide looks of last year's Al Smith Memorial dinner (roast) - just days before the election, Speaker Paul Ryan's comments last night had a little for everyone... and no one booed!

He began with some jabs at President Trump to soften the audience up...

"Enough with the applause... You sound like the Cabinet when Donald Trump walks into the room."

 

"I don't think I've seen this many New York liberals, this many Wall Street CEOs in one room since my last visit to the White House."

And then it was game on as the Speaker took shots at Schumer, Clinton, and Trump's tweets...

The speaker said that he has indeed dealt many times with an "abrasive New Yorker with a loud mouth... But, once you get to know him, Chuck Schumer's not all that bad," he said.

 

"I know why Chuck [Schumer] has been so hard on President Trump. It's not ideological; Chuck is just mad he lost his top donor."

 

"Wisconsin is a fantastic place to visit in the fall," he said of his home state. "Looking back, someone should've told Hillary Clinton that fact."

 

"The truth is, the press absolutely misunderstands and never records the big accomplishments of the White House ... Look at all the new jobs the president has created — just among the White House staff."

 

"Stephen Bannon said I was born in a Petri dish at the Heritage Foundation," he recalled, adding jokingly. "No one knew Steve believed in science."

 

"Every morning I wake up in my office and I scroll through Twitter to see which tweets I will have to pretend I didn't see later on."

 

"Every afternoon former Speaker John Boehner calls me up, not to give advice, just to laugh."

And finally, on Trump's remarks to the dinner last year:

"Some said it was unbecoming of a public figure and they said that his comments were offensive. Well, thank God he's learned his lesson."

Highlights below...