Local Chinese Newspaper On North Korean Border Shares Some Advice On Surviving A Nuclear Attack

Just yesterday the Russian foreign ministry issued a stark warning to the international community that"the situation on the Korean Peninsula is on the brink of war," adding that "Kim seeks to raise the stakes before any talks." 

Of course, these warnings followed the announcement earlier this week that the US and South Korea launched their largest aerial drills yet, less than a week after North Korea tested its new Hwasong-15 missile which military observers said has the capacity to strike Washington DC, or nearly any other location in the continental US.

As we reported Sunday, the annual US-South Korean drills, called Vigilant Ace, will run until Friday. Six F-22 Raptor stealth fighters will be deployed among the more than 230 aircraft taking part. Not surprisingly, the North has condemned the exercises as yet another provocation.

And while continuous warnings such as these go mostly unnoticed by Americans, at least one local newspaper in the Jilin province of China on North Korea's northeastern border figures its better to be safe than sorry and issued a helpful guide on what residents should do in the event of a nuclear attack.  Per Bloomberg:

An official Chinese newspaper near North Korea has published a page of articles on coping with nuclear attacks, in a sign of growing anxiety over Kim Jong Un’s weapons program.


The Jilin Daily -- the government newspaper of Jilin province on North Korea’s northeastern border -- published articles on page 5 explaining how nuclear weapons work and the damage they cause. The paper used cartoons to offer advice on what residents can do about radiation exposure and provided instructions on how to respond during an attack.


One article listed essential items for emergency kits, including fire extinguishers and breathing masks. Another warned that air raids could mean nuclear, chemical and biological attacks, and used the 1945 atomic bombing of Hiroshima as an example.


The cartoon images illustrated how residents should clean their bodies, boots and coats after being exposed to radiation. They suggested taking iodine tablets, if there is radiation nearby.

Meanwhile, the paper even offered some helpful cartoons for residents looking to prep for the nuclear apocalypse.  And while our Mandarin is not great, the cartoons seem to imply that so long as you cover your face with a cloth and down some iodine tablets...you'll be just fine.


And, for those who like to be extra safe, the Jilin Daily also provides these helpful tips which presumably suggest you should clean your ears, take a shower and vomit as necessary.


Then again, we hear that taking "giant panic breaths" of pure oxygen also works well for scenarios such as these...


macholatte wisehiney Wed, 12/06/2017 - 20:52 Permalink

 If you are anywhere within the blast radius you will die right away.If you are outside the blast radius but within the shock wave you might survive if a building doesn’t fall on you.If you are 20+ miles from ground zero you have a good chance to survive if you can run like hell to get upwind from the radiation which will kill you over the next two weeks.... or less.All of the above is dependant upon the yield of the weapon as well as other factors.There is a much greater risk of being killed by your fellow citizens during the initial panic phase after the attack.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effects_of_nuclear_explosions

In reply to by wisehiney

zorba THE GREEK pc_babe Wed, 12/06/2017 - 20:41 Permalink

In case of Nuclear attack, get the fudge out of the area as soon as possible and take a thorough shower as soon as you can. That's the real deal. Iodine tablets would be a good choice too after you follow the first two steps. If you survive the initial blast, survival prospects are good. 

In reply to by pc_babe

Dragon HAwk Wed, 12/06/2017 - 20:23 Permalink

Most people who do end up using the oxygen masks complain they do not work because they distribute so little oxygen. you barely notice, my personal opinion  is the masks are to slow down the screams which distract the pilots. Allows them to grope the stewardesses one last time and such

MontgomeryScott Dragon HAwk Wed, 12/06/2017 - 21:36 Permalink

Having been in several situations where the oxygen masks drop due to a catastrophic loss of cabin pressurization, I can tell you from experience that MOST people complain about being sucked out of the cabin; and the ones that aren't complain about hitting terrain at 600 knots; and the ones that are left ALWAYS complain about the fireball as it races through the cabin.MY complaint is that I can't overcome the 10+ G's to unfasten my seat belt and grope the stews who are nailed to the roof of the plane as it spirals out of control after losing a wing or something (but the oxygen masks always worked just fine). Naturally, you have statistics and testimony to back up YOUR claims, don'tcha?

In reply to by Dragon HAwk

Dickweed Wang Wed, 12/06/2017 - 21:00 Permalink

Since when were there red haired Chinamen??Also, in that last cartoon panel does it look like junior is blowing chunks while he's getting it from behind by big Sis and her strap-on or is it just me??

TeraByte Wed, 12/06/2017 - 21:03 Permalink

NK won´t simply make such a move for one simple reason. The Fatso himself and the regime try stay in power at any price and a nuclear option from them would lead to a total annihilation. They play hard ball one must admit, but US should not be allowed to start such a huge catastrophe.

MontgomeryScott Wed, 12/06/2017 - 21:23 Permalink

Did I get this straight?The Chicoms are telling the Norks that the best way to survive an atomic attack is to:1)Lock the door2)Put on a mask3) Take some pills4) Don't forget to clean your ears (ALWAYS)5) Take a shower6) Projectile vomitIN THAT ORDERAre you supposed to vomit before, or after you take a shower (and clean your ears)? Should you leave the mask on or take it off when you vomit? If you already have a mask on, how do you get the pills in your mouth? What if you don't want to vomit?... Should you take the pills anyway? Can you 'mix it up' and clean your ears while you take a shower and projectile vomit?WELL, ALWAYS shut and lock the door (I hear that it stops thermonuclear radiation and extreme overpressures and nuclear fireballs just FINE). ABOUT TIME that the REAL Tyler showed up (referring to the clip at the end). He should fly over to North Korea and sell some SOAP to the Norks (so they can take their recommended showers).SWEET!Oxygen gets you high (and LOVE IS LIKE OXYGEN):https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRVwcPTnug8Did you know that paper spontaneously combusts at exactly 451 degrees farenheight? Ray Bradbury taught me that fact.Aye. I'll be In my quarters studying engineering plans.https://www.encyclopedia-titanica.org/titanic-deckplans/profile.htmlSco… out.

MontgomeryScott YourAverageJoe Wed, 12/06/2017 - 23:38 Permalink

The global pharmecutecal industrial complex will, no doubt, be looking at projected profit margins for the forseeable future (and moving/'outscorcing' their production facilities to CHINA), in their next battle (the 'WOAR' on 'PARASITES'). If any OTHER "race" contracts these parasites (besides the NORKS) and demands that they be ERADICATED, they will naturally be labeled by the MSM as 'RAY-CISS'.PARASITE LIVES MATTER! I'll be in my quarters, working on the perfect AR-15 pistol build (good for taking on parasites at close range),and working on my 'bowl' haircut.Scott out. 

In reply to by YourAverageJoe

Tennessee Patriot Wed, 12/06/2017 - 21:55 Permalink

All that Tai-Chi & Yoga should come in handy when it's time to bend over & kiss your ass goodbye. Too bad all these fat, sorry ass 'Mericans won't be able to do the same.