Archive - Story

January 12th

Tyler Durden's picture

S&P Pretending Like Its Opinion Still Matters





One can say many things about the ratings agencies, one could be bribed and even say one good thing, but recently S&P has decided to get really proactive to have some ammo ahead of the inevitable congressional hearings (Moody's has Buffet in its back pocket so smooth sailing over there).

 

Tyler Durden's picture

S&P Pretending Like Its Opinion Still Matters





One can say many things about the ratings agencies, one could be bribed and even say one good thing, but recently S&P has decided to get really proactive to have some ammo ahead of the inevitable congressional hearings (Moody's has Buffet in its back pocket so smooth sailing over there).

 

Tyler Durden's picture

Bernie Forced To Find More Creative Ways to Launder Assets





BN 12:09 *BERNARD MADOFF STAYS FREE, MAGISTRATE JUDGE RULES
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*MADOFF IS CHARGED WITH SECURITIES FRAUD IN $50 BLN PONZI SCHEME
*MADOFF HAS BEEN UNDER HOUSE ARREST, GUARD, ELECTRONIC MONITOR
*MADOFF'S ATTORNEY SAID TRANSFER WAS AN `INNOCENT' MISTAKE'
*FEDERAL PROSECUTORS SAID BERNARD MADOFF IGNORED COURT RULING

 

Tyler Durden's picture

Dead Men Walking in South Beach





In what is the greatest annual boondoggle in the hedge fund community, the JP Morgan South Beach Conference, this year held February 2-4 in the Loews Hotel, one should be able to spot some very good leading trends of the credit markets for this year.

 

Tyler Durden's picture

Dead Men Walking in South Beach





In what is the greatest annual boondoggle in the hedge fund community, the JP Morgan South Beach Conference, this year held February 2-4 in the Loews Hotel, one should be able to spot some very good leading trends of the credit markets for this year.

 

Tyler Durden's picture

Show me the mo' money





BN 11:25 *OBAMA ASKS BUSH TO NOTIFY CONGRESS OF INTENT TO SEEK TARP FUNDS

speaks for itself

 

Tyler Durden's picture

I've got a stomachful of Xanax. I took what was left of a bottle. It might have been too much.





You can't make this shit up. All you Hollywood agents scouring under the skirts of Daily Grill waitresses for your next script look no further (I will merely accept a firm virtual handshake and advance rights for my upcoming book), and all you employed sales people, here is a brilliant idea for how to bring your career to new heights...

 

Tyler Durden's picture

I've got a stomachful of Xanax. I took what was left of a bottle. It might have been too much.





You can't make this shit up. All you Hollywood agents scouring under the skirts of Daily Grill waitresses for your next script look no further (I will merely accept a firm virtual handshake and advance rights for my upcoming book), and all you employed sales people, here is a brilliant idea for how to bring your career to new heights...

 

Tyler Durden's picture

Count Vikula Mid-Term Grade in Accounting Alchemy: A+





In the latest round of government-mediated financial synesthesia, Citi is parting with its brokerage crown jewel and making it seems like a sweet deal for investors, tax payers (also investors), and the three or four other people who care about the mass insanity that occurs in present day capital

 

Tyler Durden's picture

Count Vikula Mid-Term Grade in Accounting Alchemy: A+





In the latest round of government-mediated financial synesthesia, Citi is parting with its brokerage crown jewel and making it seems like a sweet deal for investors, tax payers (also investors), and the three or four other people who care about the mass insanity that occurs in present day capit

 

January 11th

Tyler Durden's picture

Ackman and Burkle Agree to Disagree over America's Illiteracy Trends





Even as Barnes and Noble posts a scary -7.7% comp store number for the "holiday" period, two major holders play hot potato with a big chunk of the retailer's equity.

 

Tyler Durden's picture

Titanium Looking Kinda Rusty Too





People suffering from a morbid obsession with titanium dioxide and its principal producer, Tronox Inc., are frantically clicking refresh on Pacer to see the moment the company files for Chapter 11 in Southern District of NY on this cold evening. Reuters cites sources that the filing should come any moment.

 

Tyler Durden's picture

Steel Partners in Need of Serious Rust Removal





Steel Partners, the fund of activist investor and up-to-now wunderkind manager Warren Lichtenstein, has fallen for some tough times.

 

Tyler Durden's picture

Investing Was The Beginning, Now It's Moved Out Of The Basement, It's Called Project Mayhem





And Mayhem it is, as investors are running for the hills, unwilling to find out who the next Madoff turns out to be, and end up stuck with a big fat donut. According to an analysis done by Hedgebay, a secondary hedge fund interest market maker, the average dollar invested in hedge funds traded for an all time low of 87 cents as of November (waiting for December numbers with baited breath).

 

Tyler Durden's picture

There Can Be Only One!!!





We all know about West vs. East, 2-Pac vs. Notorious B.I.G., LA vs NY, etc... How does this express itself in the HF community where most managers are either grads of Steinberg-Dietrich Hall (that Huntsman hall phallic monstrosity will never take the place of the brick facade that Saul Steinberg's Reliance renovated with a whole pile of hard-earned, scandal-free dollars) or ex-Yale Lacrosse players, yet where on occasion you may find the odd Westsider... And they can be quite floral....

 
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!