This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Adam Smith Translates Ben Bernank

Econophile's picture




 
 

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Tue, 03/22/2011 - 19:38 | 1087857 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

    Part 3.

 

"Professor, we need to roll out of here, right quick, before your buddies come back".

"Do you think Fred recognized me?" asked the ex-Fed Chairman.

 

"I don't know but I really don't want to take any chances", I replied.

"Help me up, will you? My legs are not working real well".

 

Yeah, I thought, a year of living in the New York City sewer system will do that to you. I pushed the safety on the MAC-10 back into the "ON" position and put it in the holster. I grabbed the Professor's arm with my left hand and pulled him to his feet, he wobbled, then steadied, no play acting here. I noticed, however, that he managed to keep hold on his Cohiba and the flask of what he called "Talisker".

"One second" I said, and I attached a wireless sound amplifier to the slimy sewer wall with a suction cup, and pointed it down the tunnel towards where Fred had disappeared. I flipped the receive switch to "ON" and listened. Nothing...so far.

 

Suddenly I remembered the DNAnalyzer, looked down, and saw the green light - a match. This was the real deal, Professor Ben S. Bernanke, and my bonus suddenly seemed that much closer.

"You have me at a disadvantage, sir. What is your name, if you don't mind my asking?"

"MacLeod. Peter MacLeod, but my men call me Mac".

"MacLeod. Scottish. Good mechanics, the Scotts. Good with a dollar, too. Frugal, like my people."

I checked the heads up display on the Level 2 Bio-Hazard suit's faceplate for the closest exit to the surface, and the glass said 200 yards to the west. I started down the tunnel, supporting the Professor.

"So, you say the Chinese own New England down to New York now. New Xian Province, you said. And they want me to help Bernie run things. What else have I missed while I have been down here?" the Professor asked.

"The Japanese have taken over Northern California to Washington, including Alaska, in exchange for their Treasuries. They have declared San Francisco "New Tokyo", and plan to move the entire displaced population of old Tokyo there and into Oregon and Washington" I replied.

"God, that was a mess, that damn tsunami, who could have known it would cause the evacuation of all of Northern Japan? So now they are coming here."

Suddenly I heard some noise from the receiver I had left behind. "Wait a second Professor". We stopped, I listened.

 

"... dude with a suit... looked like an astronaut... had a big gun... let's find him... Ben Bernanke... bounty... million dollars... hurry".

 

"What is it?" the Professor asked.

 

"Trouble, Professor. We need to move". I pulled the MAC-10 from it's holster, clicked the safety to "OFF" and checked that the 2x15 clip was secure and ready to spit lead if neccessary.

 

"Wait a second. I know your name. Pete MacLeod. Special Forces, right? You rescued Hillary Clinton from Hamas when they kidnapped her in Gaza during her "peace enabling" visit, right after the Libyan war."

"Professor, that was a whole different world, but yeah, that was me, back when we had a USA and a Special Forces. Things have changed big time since then. I'm private contract now. And if I'm not wrong, we have some company coming we need to neutralize now."

 

 

 

 

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 19:04 | 1087759 Scheißekopf
Scheißekopf's picture

My solutions are this: Tax all political contributions at 80%, suspend all retirement and health benefits to all politicians(presidents,congressmen, senators) and their families, past, present and future. The big banks that are insolvent should be bankrupted, with prosecutions to the criminals that reside at these banks, but are protected by our political whores. Investigate the treasury and central bank, then prosecute these big bank bitches for ther wrong doing. That's a start. Make those responsible pay the price. The government(it's really more a crime syndicate) has everything ass-backwards. They reward the irresponsible, and tax and discourage responsible behavior.

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 19:34 | 1087841 eddiebe
eddiebe's picture

Sure, good solutions, I'm sure we all have a few to add to those. The problem is implementig them, isnt it.

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 18:54 | 1087725 eddiebe
eddiebe's picture

It quite surprises me that so many authors featured here at Z.H. still believe that the Ben Bernank is a stupid economist and just does'nt get it. Makes me wonder who really is stupid.

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 20:02 | 1087929 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Bernanke is not stupid. He has no choice. His shareholders, the TBTF PDs have got the world into this mess and all he can do is print, print. Hope that USd will stay world reserve thanks to its military strength and that they will inflate their way out of debt. Pipe dream, but end of middle class America, whatever the result. This is planned mayhem, in desperation, to run away from past crimes of hubris, like a mad queen on the run in her palace...out, out damned spot...

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 18:38 | 1087683 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

Daily Capitalist? WTF???

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 17:17 | 1087482 InconvenientCou...
InconvenientCounterParty's picture

this shit is way deeper than finance.

The U.S. needs to get back to rule of law. "Of the people by the people for the people" values, not the values of a fucking machine. A corp. is a money making machine. Humans can translate human characteristics to it, like they do to a car or something, but it's only a machine, a hunter-killer. When did the values of a machine become aspirational?

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 18:26 | 1087652 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

Comment of the day.

Legal immunity for crimes through incorporation needs to end.

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 17:25 | 1087508 falak pema
falak pema's picture

+1...

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 17:11 | 1087464 falak pema
falak pema's picture

When shit hits double shit before they die together crushed against the tree, double asks single ..."What has life taught you?" Single replies with his dying sigh..."It would have been nice to have died with a bang with some one else than a double of my kind. I've missed something by being so single minded and one tracked in my existence"... "I see your point" replied double,"I've had the privilege of knowing Unique Virtue. Frankly I prefer dying in your arms. We have a smell about us like no other. I'll take it with me to eternity...like a talisman of my own tribe". So they died together happy, the one for having known his opposite the other for having been true to himself, knowing his regrets to be unfounded.

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 17:03 | 1087434 gina distrusts gov
gina distrusts gov's picture

Apply a import duty on all products / components of American cooperation's who mfg their goods in other than the 50 states equal to the difference in wage and environmental quality laws

that will bring jobs home with much weeping and gnashing of teeth in board rooms as the outrageous pay there will have to go down

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 16:24 | 1087266 AcidRastaHead
AcidRastaHead's picture

My suggestion would be to actually replace Bernanke with an anime pig/bear creature.  This pig/bear figurehead would then defer all federal monetary decisions to sock puppet.  Hey it's gotta be better then the Bank's puppet at teh helm.

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 18:33 | 1087668 Catullus
Catullus's picture

Best idea all day.

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 16:20 | 1087246 Bazooka
Bazooka's picture

The impact of these critiques would be far more compelling if some blogsters actually also provide their thoughts on how to fix the huge problem.

Here are a few I've heard from Chris Whalen:

1. Take the big banks into receivership, split them up and make healthy again.

Gerald Celente says:

1. Tax the churches!

2. Tax more to corporations who ship the jobs offshore

 

 

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 17:49 | 1087564 strannick
strannick's picture

I dunno about 'tax the churches'. Private non-profits give a way better bang for the buck on social work than some fat-assed state run operation. I remember as a kid travelling around, in Houston. One night I stayed in a Sally Anne. All their stuff was cheap, homey, nice volunteers. Then I went for lunch to some state run operation. It was clean, new, lots of sullen staff. I'll take the churches.

Lots of social workers actually hate 'volunteerism' cause it keeps them from expanding their bureaucratic empires and public employee unions.

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 17:11 | 1087461 malek
malek's picture

Tax the churches!

Have you read some Martin Armstrong?
He told some tales how empires switched their main religion, mainly to be able to rob all the treasures from the former faith.
What will the US convert to?

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 18:20 | 1087643 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

The US already worships money far more than any faith.

Your model seems very appropriate.

Down with money worship (greed).

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 17:21 | 1087489 IQ 145
IQ 145's picture

 Atheism; then we could stop pretending that the Moslems are "ok", and have a real religious war. Just declare the Moslem program, and its' "book" to be an illegal terrorist cult, and let her rip.

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 17:02 | 1087426 THE DORK OF CORK
THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Ireland is the most extreme example of this corporate problem - it has the highest per ca pita trade surplus in the EU , and amazingly the second highest in nominal terms after Germany.

However if it taxed this activity to any great degree its surplus would shrink into a deficit as most of this surplus comes from the multinational pharmaceutical industry and this business would simply move shop.

Catch 22.

The Templars of old used this model of business in remote backward mountain areas - building up churches into quasi fortresses and then engaging in trade activities.

The new Rome based in Frankfurt wishes to crush this activity much like times past.

The world has never really changed much.

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 17:30 | 1087522 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Dork,

You entered that church benefitted from its handouts, got temporarily rich, now having sold your  soul to it's opposite model, the anglo-saxon liberal clique, you are being f***ed two ways like a porn whore. Take your medicine and find your way but don't ever play it both ways when you're a nation of five million minnows in a sea of five hundred million sharks.

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 18:37 | 1087676 THE DORK OF CORK
THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Yea I agree , our economy is a form of mutant.

Beginning in the late 50s we needed to find a mechanism to suck  the global credit teet that was being fueled by middle east oil.

We found a tempory mechanism as otherwise we would have become a Atlantic Albania  , however we sold our lucrative fishing rights as well as engaging in a grand bargain with these barracudas.

But our workforce has no experience of fishing or indeed agriculture to a lesser extent now.

Its all very sad but we could not fight this juggernaut at the time - it had unlimited access to credit fueled by oil.

We had Peat !

All the same its great seeing the vultures of Irish monetarism struggling to fly in a environment without any updrafts.

Its almost worth the pain to see those fuckers starve with the rest of us.

 

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 20:07 | 1087968 BigDuke6
BigDuke6's picture

If Guinness could travel so that it tasted and poured as good as it did in Dublin then the Irish economy would be fine.

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 19:51 | 1087899 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Hang in there...when irish eyes are smiling...and Brian O'Driscoll is the greatest centre in the world...

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 20:16 | 1088017 THE DORK OF CORK
THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Yes, England God love them made this fantastic Video celebrating their Grand slam acheivment.

One problem - they made this before they came to Lansdowne road.

They are not the Grand Slam victors of 2011.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJ5VT_u3Lb4

 

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 21:21 | 1088159 BigDuke6
BigDuke6's picture

Funny link.

That is why i own no nike gear and never will they are a truly offensive, evil, pompous multinational company - who pay their low life sport whores millions while squeezing out the pips from their sweat factories.

Bit like apple.

http://www.wired.com/magazine/2011/02/ff_joelinchina/all/1

 

Well done to the Paddy's.

 

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 21:46 | 1088243 THE DORK OF CORK
THE DORK OF CORK's picture

We are bigger whores - Lansdowne road was recently renamed the Aviva stadium !!

Mawkish minions

When you have no self respect you have nothing.

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 22:13 | 1088333 BigDuke6
BigDuke6's picture

Aviva? Great.. that means murrayfield will be right behind with Barclays Bank stadium.

Only the great sport of golf remains untarnished with its integrity intact.

Nike slapper Tiger Woods doesn't count.

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 17:03 | 1087424 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

The solution to the problem are obvious but there are 2 problems

 

#1 The politicians are wholly owned by various foreign interests from International corporations to AIPAC

#2 The American public is too stupid/brainwashed to take action against those who oppress it, is too divided and the influence of the 'minorities' like Mexians and Blacks and Jewish is too great to change course in a democraticall way, you can no longer vote your way out of this shitstorm

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 16:47 | 1087360 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

The impact of these critiques would be far more compelling if some blogsters actually also provide their thoughts on how to fix the huge problem.

 

I've got one: GET OUT BEFORE THE SHIT HITS THE FAN AND WHEN EVERYTHING IMPLODES COME BACK AND BUY REAL ESTATE FOR A PENNY ON THE DOLLAR!!

 

 

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 18:06 | 1087610 Mayer Amschel R...
Mayer Amschel Rothschild's picture

tough love:

massive defaults and deflation

allow boom & bust to cycle through according to ageless limbic system induced mania & depression

end collectivist, centralized control over production and finance

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 17:48 | 1087567 strannick
strannick's picture

Yeah, but your property taxes will be in the zillions

Tue, 03/22/2011 - 17:30 | 1087526 Hang The Fed
Hang The Fed's picture

"GET OUT BEFORE THE SHIT HITS THE FAN AND WHEN EVERYTHING IMPLODES COME BACK AND BUY REAL ESTATE FOR A PENNY ON THE DOLLAR!!"

Small correction to that...get out before the shit hits the fan, and when everything implodes and ninety percent of your neighbors are dead because they can't feed, clothe, or warm themselves with fucking ipods and cellphones, enjoy your egrarian retirement, 1800's style.


Tue, 03/22/2011 - 16:49 | 1087378 10kby2k
10kby2k's picture

Thats my plan.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!