After Repeated Facts Presented That Stress Tests Are Scam, Europe Relents To Disclose Testing Methods, Even As Tests Still Remain A Scam

Tyler Durden's picture

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Ripped Chunk's picture

That will fix those critics!

OutLookingIn's picture


Stress Test:

Okay stand up. Thats alright - remain sitting. You pass. Just don't fall out of your chair!

jkruffin's picture

And a 50 point move up in the last 5 mins at the close to boot!  They really expect people to invest in this shit market the way its being run? 

homersimpson's picture

Absolutely positively 100% fraudulent. How much taxpayer cash did the Fed burn in today's last 10 mins? Nice ramp up job.

bada boom's picture

This might apply,

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."

Lincoln, Twain, or ?

carbonmutant's picture

It's not going to look good if they reference "Turbo Timmy" as a source for their methodology...

trav7777's picture

If the stress tests were worth shit, the Fed wouldn't have had to step in and buy all these guys' toxic garbage bonds.  Who the fuck do they think they're foolin?

ratava's picture

upfront and honest sure worked out well for our pension funds buying toxic shit

dantes1807's picture

I'm sure the European Central Bank will give the banks a glowing reviewing. Just like they did in the US. Change a few accounting rules and everything will be just fine. That's what we did here before our stress test.

ebworthen's picture
"We need to instill confidence in the insolvent banks in the U.S. and Europe, what can we do?"

"I know...we'll invent 'stress tests' that will demonstrate that they are not insolvent...and that they can survive anything."

The stress tests remind me of the Witch Hunt trials in reverse. How do you determine if someone is a Witch? Dunk them underwater and bring them back up until they confess they are a Witch. If they drown - well - proof that they were a Witch because God didn't save them.

The banks and stress tests are the witch hunters - they will always find a witch - and they are dunking to death the middle class.

Of course the banks are fine - they are the preachers, the church, the Inquisition - the power that must not be questioned or doubted.

Pez's picture

911 started out as a drill.

wyosteven's picture

Here is an example of stress testing (Courtesy of the Federal Reserve):

1 + 1 = ?

A) 142

B) 261

C) 77

D) None of the Above

MarketTruth's picture

Like the SEC, CFTC, FDIC and others, they will simply use their ability to kill the small fish (and protect the big fish who then get even more power). Reminds me of how Miami-Dade's 'finest' handled drug dealers back in the 80's.

Rainman's picture

A classic for the ages, TD.

........" Europe's stress tests are the dumbest thing since, well, our own " stress tests".

DavidC's picture

Can't wait to see if their definition of 'stress' includes the USA's - unemployment at a level that has been exceeded, assets marked to model rather than market, etc - ooh, yes!


knukles's picture

Eh-ah whazza matta fa zoo, eh?  Weez ah on a da longa weeg genda foor July justa befo wez a go on a vacatiooneh fora da montha da Augusto.  Lemme alona eh?  Who givesa shit eh? Basta Fung-ool.

Moonrajah's picture

In Soviet Russia the banks stress market.

Oh, wait...

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