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And Now For Tonight's Prime Time Event: The Durbin-Dimon Smackdown

Tyler Durden's picture


Some time ago Ben Bernanke's right hand man (and it certainly goes both ways), better known as the guy who is the gatekeeper to the entire shadow banking system, Jamie Dimon railed against debit interchange fees, claiming they are "counterproductive", represent "price fixing at its worst" and are "downright idiotic." Dick Durbin, who introduced the interchange fees amendment responds in kind.  "I recognize that Chase will likely see decreased revenue from interchange reform, but I urge you to keep some perspective. Last year Chase had $17.4 billion in profits — up 48 percent from the previous year - and a 15 percent profit margin. Your own personal compensation "jumped nearly 1,500 percent to $20.8 million in 2010" according to Reuters. In contrast, middle-class American families are struggling to get by in a tough economy — an economy that went south because of the banking industry's unregulated excesses. There is no need for you to threaten your customers with higher fees
when you and your bank are already making money hand-over-fist. And
there is no need to make such threats in response to reform that simply
tries to spare consumers from bearing the cost of interchange fees that
are anticompetitive and unreasonably high...In the coming weeks I am confident the Fed will produce a reasonable set of reforms that will enhance the efficiency, competitiveness and fairness of the debit system. This will neither be "counterproductive" nor "idiotic." It will be good news for all Americans." Poor Dick apparently does not know that you don't call out Jamie's BS - it only leads to exponential escalation in the M.A.D. doctrine until Jamie finally blows his top and threatens the world with an extinction level event if the ROI for his "shareholders" does not grow by at least 100% Y/Y? But at least this response does set the precedent that someone voicing an opinion contrary to that of JP Morgan does not lead to a horde of satanic demons flying out of a hole in the ground and dragging the offender deep into the bosom of Hades.

Full letter courtesy of the WSJ:

durbin letter

h/t Cate Long



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Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:21 | 1166970 ghostfaceinvestah
ghostfaceinvestah's picture

Poor Dimon, one of these days someone will call his bluff and he will destroy his own company out of spite.  Now THAT will be a Prime Time event to see.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:28 | 1166983 cswjr
cswjr's picture

If I were taking that route, I'd show the world all of the "bullion" inside JPM's new vault.  Silver to the moon, USD to the deck.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:57 | 1167071 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

JPM insider provides picture of it's new bullion safe.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:16 | 1167125 NOTW777
NOTW777's picture


Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:35 | 1167003 Shameful
Shameful's picture

Or he'll use his access to infinite dollars to destroy all opponents. When you have infinite dollars and don't care about other people/dollar users one can work wonders.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:04 | 1167088 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

And... what do infinite dollars imply? Why zero value, of course.

Destruction guaranteed!

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:23 | 1167133 Twindrives
Twindrives's picture

Jamie Dimon better enjoy his stay on Earth cause it ain't going to be so cool to be a banker where he is going. 

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:27 | 1166976 ghostfaceinvestah
ghostfaceinvestah's picture

Simon Johnson's article that Durbin cites is worth reading for background:


Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:25 | 1166977 DeweyLeon
DeweyLeon's picture

I guess it takes a Dick to beat a dick. Here's to hoping Durbin isn't FOS on this.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:38 | 1167004 redpill
redpill's picture

It's probably a regulatory clusterfuck per usual, but that doesn't mean Dimon isn't wrong also.


I hope Dick doesn't enjoy spending time in the hot tub.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:37 | 1167008 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

Yeah, whatever.  Dick's check is in the mail for his latest soliloquy.  Everyone feels vindicated that finally someone in Washington did something, then the next distraction comes along.  And Dimon votes himself another salary hike and bonus.

When will you dupes ever learn?

I am Chumbawamba.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:45 | 1167029 redpill
redpill's picture

Of course if everyone bought their shit with cash and didn't borrow a dime from these dogs, none of this would even matter.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:50 | 1167047 Gold 36000
Gold 36000's picture

Ive tried to get people to take their money out of the banks, at least twenty percent of their savings if nothing else.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 20:37 | 1167366 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

I've basically given up trying to reach anyone anymore.  I still pontificate but it's mostly empty and hollow, just like the heads of those with whom I'm usually speaking.

The only thing you can do is keep buying ammo and get in lots of range time to prepare for what's coming.

I am Chumbawamba.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:28 | 1166978 Gold 36000
Gold 36000's picture

somebody needs to take out Jamie Dimon.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:40 | 1167014 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

Are you running for president?  Because with solid and workable solutions to our problems like this, I'd vote for you.

I am Chumbawamba.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:46 | 1167032 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

While solid and workable solutions are fine, I'm holding out for comprehensive ones.

4 syllables = better

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:47 | 1167044 Gold 36000
Gold 36000's picture

I hadn't thought about it.

But you know I might.

My platform is simple.

I will set up an exploratory committee and get back with you.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 20:13 | 1167286 Irwin Fletcher
Irwin Fletcher's picture

Just please don't replace him with Turbo Timmy.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:30 | 1166982 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

How did this guy get elected to the senate?  He sounds expensive.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 20:22 | 1167309 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

The Durbin staffers who wrote this certainly need a promotion, but they'll probably just get jobs a JPM instead.   Moving right along....

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 20:46 | 1167385 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

"a promotion", exactly.  Soon we get the "Durbin Bill", a big mea culpa from the big boys, a pay off to water the bill down, and....nothing.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:29 | 1166987 Manny
Manny's picture

Its like pouring water on a rock!

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 21:17 | 1167485 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

waterfalls are nice this time of year

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:29 | 1166988 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

Debit interchange reform.

Of all the things fucked up this is what they are waisting their time on.

Not impressed.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:42 | 1167019 spekulatn
spekulatn's picture

Debit interchange reform.

Of all the things fucked up this is what they are waisting their time on.


+1 bob_dabolina.

Two dicks, same team. 


Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:15 | 1167114 equity_momo
equity_momo's picture

The US political system is an Hamephrodite. A dick and a pussy that share the same brain.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:23 | 1167134 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture



Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:46 | 1167041 Gold 36000
Gold 36000's picture

it had bipartisan support and the approval of the fed.

That is what is required to move legislation nowdays.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:04 | 1167092 FoodTiger
FoodTiger's picture

Next week Dick introduces his internet tax proposal.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:29 | 1167147 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

Every time you or I use a debit card (encouraged btw) - it costs us. I agree that it is small potatoes but costing mom and pop.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:32 | 1166990 Spalding_Smailes
Spalding_Smailes's picture

J.B. Hunt Transport Services Inc. posted a 34% rise in first-quarter profit, aided by volume growth at the trucking company's intermodal business and higher rates.

The U.S. transportation sector's rebound has continued for several quarters, and trucking firms have benefited from large cuts in capacity, an uptick in demand and better pricing. J.B. Hunt said Wednesday that weather contributed to tight capacity in the trucking segment but also added to costs. "With the effects of winter weather and rapidly rising fuel costs, it was a tough quarter to get through as well as we did," J.B. Hunt Chief Executive John N. Roberts said in a prepared statement.J.B. Hunt Transport Services Inc. posted a 34% rise in first-quarter profit, aided by volume growth at the trucking company's intermodal business and higher rates.



Back to 2006 growth ( 96.5 )


MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. & LOS ANGELES, Calif., April 12, 2011 – The Ceridian-UCLA Pulse of Commerce Index™ (PCI), a real-time measure of the flow of goods to U.S. factories, retailers and consumers, rose 2.7% on a seasonally and workday adjusted basis in March, more than offsetting the 0.3% decline in January and the 1.5% decline in February. On a quarter over quarter basis, the PCI is up 3.9% at an annualized rate, a welcome acceleration from the relatively weak growth of the PCI experienced in the second half of 2010.

“The PCI growth of 3.9% for the first quarter of 2011 is a middle-of the-road number, signaling that we are not in either one of the extremes. In other words, the recession is over, but we are not yet experiencing a robust recovery,” said Ed Leamer, chief PCI economist and director of the UCLA Anderson Forecast. “This means that for the coming quarter, the PCI is expecting GDP growth close to historically normal levels of around 3% and normal increases in payroll jobs at approximately 150,000 per month. The unemployment rate is likely to hold stubbornly to its current level but could be driven down by discouraged workers dropping out of the labor force.”

“March represents the sixteenth consecutive month of year-over-year growth in the index"

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:42 | 1167025 Gold 36000
Gold 36000's picture

There is hope in spite of obama's best efforts.

Thu, 04/14/2011 - 06:39 | 1168101 knowless
knowless's picture

What is the Ceridian-UCLA Pulse of Commerce Index™?

ceridian takes the feds numbers and adds diesel bought by truckers with a ceridian debit card..

they do not account for any independant drivers, or any company that does not use ceridian to manage their fuel purchases, so unless ceridian has a pretty significant market share, this seems pretty useless.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:35 | 1166996 Catullus
Catullus's picture

Hey Dick Durbin and aides of Dick Durbin, why did you vote for TARP your spineless piece of dogshit?  Check your bottom half.  You have no legs to stand on.  Go fuck yourself.


Jamie Dimon

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:36 | 1167001 I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture

Dicked Dimon.  More to come....

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:43 | 1167023 DR
DR's picture is having a tough time too...

The Wall Street Mind: Anxious.

"Nonetheless, despite all the reasons for celebration, the mood inside many banks is downbeat, even paranoid...... More important, many fear that the twenty-year bull run that led up to the crash, when bonuses, debt, and leverage all grew to what turned out to be unsustainable levels, may turn out to be a golden age that will never return. Wall Street feels not only loathed but also fearful."

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:44 | 1167028 Gold 36000
Gold 36000's picture

they better be paranoid.

Most of them better have good security details.

Someone is going to take a few of them out eventually.

Even the taliban has talked about it.

I will celebrate and make it an annual holiday and

pilgrimage as I go piss on their graves.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:52 | 1167051 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

That's true for Finance and Real Estate.  Not as many 22 year old coked out analysts making 200k at my desk these days.  The quants that replaced them are much friendlier.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:45 | 1167036 HROLLER
HROLLER's picture

The FDIC robbed a SOLVENT Wamu and gave it's assets to JPM/Chase. It must be nice for JPM/Chase in making a killing from those deposits, credit card division, property, 2200 branches, loans, when they only aid $1.88 billion. Well, the hedge funds have tried to take control of the bankruptcy case and they are trying to give JPM approx. $2 billion in tax refunds. The equity committee is about to give them a smack-down.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:00 | 1167037 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Jamie "Legs" Dimon is Gozer the Gatekeeper?

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:48 | 1167048 apberusdisvet
apberusdisvet's picture

News Flash:  Senator Richard Durbin has been admitted to Walter Reed Hospital for mysterious chest pains.

News Flash:  Durbin in ICU; news at 11

Breaking Presidential Address:


My fellow Americans:  I regret to inform you of the passing of a great American.....

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:48 | 1167049 Auricle of Omaha
Auricle of Omaha's picture

I'm no fan of the banks but I offer Debit/Credit option to my customers for their convenience of paying me money. I'd love to pay less for the merchant fees, but in the end, if the charges get to be too much, I just eliminate accepting credit cards of any type. I've already eliminated American Express because it's so expensive.

Besides, I love the smell of fiat in the morning!

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:56 | 1167069 Gold 36000
Gold 36000's picture

fiat does not leave an electronic record

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 20:23 | 1167322 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture


Wed, 04/13/2011 - 21:51 | 1167595 Ned Zeppelin
Ned Zeppelin's picture

I can't believe people carry Amerikan Express for any reason whatsoever. 

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:53 | 1167050 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

Pains me to admit: I'm on Jamie's side.

this pigfucker has got to be eventuated away from this.

- Ned

{and yes ...}

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:55 | 1167066 Gold 36000
Gold 36000's picture

even the fed thinks monopolistic pricing is inefficient and anticompetitive.

The banks are free to add on extra fees in addition to the interchange fee if they wish. They are not free to collude and set minimum fees with Visa and Mastercard.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 21:52 | 1167597 Ned Zeppelin
Ned Zeppelin's picture

You're entitled to your opinion. 

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:54 | 1167052 ZeroPower
ZeroPower's picture

Not gonna happen.

Good on Durbin though. Im assuming a bit less than Jamie's $20MM/yr.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:52 | 1167055 Gold 36000
Gold 36000's picture

I sure hope dimon is aware of how much hatred there is out there for him, blankfein, henry paulson......


I would like to make some MOST WANTED posters.

Can you guys put up a list of names of the biggest perps?

It starts with blankfein, paulson and dimon right?  We need a top ten perps and I will definitely make wanted posters.

It might go viral just like those clown faces of obama with socialism written on it.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:09 | 1167101 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Which Obummer supporters (er... trolls) used to play the race card, knowing full well the difference between blackface and the Joker's face.

In other words, if your plan goes viral, it will just be another identifier that Homeland Security will use to identify those who use wanted posters to engender terror amongst the public.

Now, where's my Gadsen Flag???

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:54 | 1167063 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture


How many Americans will:

A. Read this letter

B. After reading it do the following;

(1) Call their congressman and ask them to do the same,

(2) Feel sympathy for the TBTF banks, or

(3) Watch American Idol later tonight and ask "Where is Pia?"

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:03 | 1167084 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

(4) Call their congressmen and ask "Where is Pia?"

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:08 | 1167102 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

+1 and appreciated.  After the billions and trillions discussed today, I forgot how to count to 4.....................

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:31 | 1167160 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

Sorry, long day and it seemed funny. Didn't mean to trivialize your post.

I have called my congressman on a number of things to -- surprise -- no avail. For congressman, they start campaigning for re-election the day after they win so they could give a rat's ass. Most of them are a pubic hair this side of retarded anyway, so what the hell am I thinking.

For Senators, they seem to be so annoyed by the chattle even raising their voices to Mount Olympus so there is another instance of shouting at the dark.

In the end, I'm hoping the law of averages catches up and these twats get their come uppance. Not holding my breath.

The DC aristocrats don't get it and times don't change. Here is an excerpt from Bull Run during the Civil War -- DC scum didn't care then and DC doesn't see the severity of the economic situation now -- just gala events and town halls with free food. Everything is so quaint inside the beltway:

Manassas.  Bull Run.  The first major battle of the Civil War, plus a second battle a little over one year later.  Manassas Junction, just twenty miles west of Washington, D.C., became the site of two struggles to solve the split in the Federal government started with South Carolina secession and the bombardment of Fort Sumter.  It was a struggle that many thought would be over quickly, so much so, that when it was learned that a battle was brewing along the edge of the stream known as Bull Run, picnics were packed and bonnets were tightened amongst the political class and aristocracy of the city.  By the end of one hour amongst the hail of bullets, cannon fire, and the shrieks of the wounded and dying, it was pretty clear that the calousness and lack of seriousness that the citizens of the city thought about the strife, would be gone forever.  Fours years later and over 600,000 citizens and soldiers dead would make the first day at the first battle of Bull Run, in Manassas, Virginia, far from a quick and easy problem to solve.



Wed, 04/13/2011 - 18:58 | 1167068 Misean
Misean's picture

Is Dicky boys campaign coffer a little light at the moment? Has Demon not provided sufficient bribes for ol' Dicky boy? Or is their some other nit to pick at this juncture?

It sure as f**k isn't cuz Dicky boy has a conscience and gives a rat's ass about the peasantry.

Wonder what it is...

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:00 | 1167078 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

In related news, Matt Taibbi continues his amazing efforts to educate the herd with "The Real Housewives of Wall St."

Long story short, Christy Mack and Susan Karches got $220M in TALF money which they used to buy student loans risk free.

If TPTB can sweep this under the table, then it must mean a record-breaking season of American Idol.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 20:55 | 1167399 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

I can never figure out why these perfectly good links to ZH articles don't work.


Wed, 04/13/2011 - 21:54 | 1167601 Ned Zeppelin
Ned Zeppelin's picture

Kudos to Taibbi. Now there's a guy who needs a remote start for the Honda. 

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:02 | 1167087 Bob Sacamano
Bob Sacamano's picture

Durbin should prove the price fixing charge given his clarity on the matter.  Likewise he should explain how he knows precisely how much a company should make, how much it should charge for a product and how much it's CEO should make.  And somehow he possesses this clairvoyance while being a part of the absolute worst financial management in the history of the world called the US federal government - yet he comfortably throws stones at others.

Not a banker or care much for or about that industry (despite dealing with them like everyone else), but it is depressing to see those in government who believe they possess great wisdom on a whole host of issues (including very narrow ones like the right price for bank interchange fees).  The "fatal conceit" concept - tendency among policymakers to think they can organize the complex inner workings of the modern-day economy - becomes more true the larger the zone of influence.

"I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than those attending too small a degree of it." - Thomas Jefferson.  


Wed, 04/13/2011 - 20:04 | 1167266 SME MOFO
SME MOFO's picture

My guess is that you don't know anything about this issue because if you did you wouldn't be saying such stupid bullshit out loud.  Unless of course you are a paid shill, in which case shut up you dick.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 21:56 | 1167603 Ned Zeppelin
Ned Zeppelin's picture

Great, Bob, just what we need: another moronic douchebag.  


Thu, 04/14/2011 - 05:14 | 1168070 Bob Sacamano
Bob Sacamano's picture

Thoughtful response and brilliant counter.

The government wants to determine what is "reasonable" and "fair" level of prices and profit in this case.  That is government over-reach - which comes natural to those in government. 

If they want to argue price fixing (presumably at the Visa/MC level and not at the JPM Chase level), they should pursue that case through the Justice Department.

Thu, 04/14/2011 - 08:06 | 1168199 SME MOFO
SME MOFO's picture
by Bob Sacamano
on Sun, 04/03/2011 - 18:37

Non-experts may not provide any less biased information, but also suffer from a lack of a deep understanding of the subject matter (yet still feel the need to pontificate with gusto).

Thu, 04/14/2011 - 09:18 | 1168395 Bob Sacamano
Bob Sacamano's picture

Weak, out of context retort, but so far no substance regarding the failure of my reasoning on the subject at hand - just name calling.  Brilliant.  But you are in good company on this site in that regard.

So what is your opinion about the role of government determining the "reasonableness" and "fairness" of price and profit levels for a product or company?   Again, if price fixing is the real problem, pursue that case against Visa/MC.

My bias is the government should get out of our lives wherever possible.  My bias is that the government is not particularly capable or efficient at doing most things and has a political self interest that is corrupting.  My bias is that individuals (including you and me) are more capable of managing the affairs of our own lives than the government wants us to believe (government prefers we be more dependent on them -- and hence likes folks to feel like they are victims so they need someone to take care of them).


Fri, 04/15/2011 - 04:50 | 1171459 SME MOFO
SME MOFO's picture

On the off chance that you are a real person, and further that you are capable of considering evidence and changing your position as your understanding matures, I'm going to lay it out for you in 50 words or less.  Money, currency, medium of exchange is a shared social endeavour.  Governments provide this token of exchange for yada yada whatever look up all that bullshit. 

The citizens use the money to organize both public and private affairs.  Now that we don't use cash anymore, why do we have to pay 100 times more to the network than the cost of the network.  Every other country in the world is orders of magnitude less in these charges because its just stupid and mean on the face of it to have to tithe these network "owners" in their absurd rent seeking behavior. 

Unlike you, probably, I have extensive experience with these networks, the bank policy drift, the costs to merchants, and the history of debit cards and interchange rate development for the entire network.  Huge retailers have been fighting these systems for years in hidden mega wars.  Use the fucking google and try to understand what actually happened, what is happening, and what everyone but the banks want to happen.

I have read all your posts and you seem like the philosopher type that has lots of proclamations about how stuff should be arranged; it may make more sense for you to gabble your simpleton analysis to the other desiccated biddies on bingo night.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 12:05 | 1172628 Bob Sacamano
Bob Sacamano's picture

Bottom line -- you are in favor of the government setting the price of this product and a relevant factor in deciding such is the profitablity of the product (and Durbin would include the profitability of the company and the compensation of the CEO as well).

I just disagree.  I understand some don't like the interchange fees and that they are very profitable piece of business for others, but I see no right of Americans to have cheap / cheaper interchange fees nor the government's right to force such - despite the "shared social endeavour"(?) you claim. 

If there is price fixing going on (as seems to be implied), it is a perfect case for the Justice department. Unclear why that has not been vigorously and successfully pursued given the clarity of the allegations.  

But with this philosophical slant of government (which admittedly many Americans like), I am looking forward to the government's similar solution to skyrocketing food commodity prices.  Those damn farmers could sell their corn for less and still make plenty of money. And what more important "shared social endeavour" is food?

P.S. You miss the whole point -- I do not know "how things should be arranged" (I am not the one suggesting a dictated exchange fee).  But I am certain Washington DC does not know -- yet they have the power to dictate such because they are conceited enough to believe they know the correct price.  You embrace that level of government control.  I fear it.  Philosophical difference -- without the name calling you seem to like.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:05 | 1167091 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

F this crap. hang them all and get thsi crap over with. Too much time wasted reporting and talking.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:05 | 1167095 WTF2
WTF2's picture

Little Sarkosy chewed out Jamie too and got respect for it.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:10 | 1167108 israhole
israhole's picture

Careful, Dimon might exercise the Samson Option on all us Goyim.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 20:02 | 1167271 zen0
zen0's picture


Samson was blinded, shorn, and in chains. You think Israel runs the world already. Make a decision.




Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:11 | 1167110 IdioTsincracY
IdioTsincracY's picture

Of course the American people, worried about the dire straits of millionaires, will give Republicans the majority in the Senate, and maybe even the Precidency.

DWho needs Durbin and all the other people trying to do something about this, when we can have a repeat of the wonders of 'trickle down economics' we had under W.


Oh... the good ole times!

The sheer joy of watching my income keep up with inflation, my savings grow, my purchasing power boom, and my quality of life improve ...

No wait.... sh!t, then I woke up!

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 20:01 | 1167260 zen0
zen0's picture

Its you again. I just junked you without seeing your handle. Don't be bringin that Ass and Elephant show down this way, monkey puppet boy.

Your kung fu be not only weak / but yer style be obsolete

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:11 | 1167111 tradewithdave
tradewithdave's picture

And all this time I thought the conflict with Chase was about "Disney Dollars" and how they might lead to children being imprisoned for twenty-five years like Bernard VonNothaus of Liberty Dollar fame.  With the news that Chuck E. Cheese is a lamister (i.e. on the lam, on the run) I knew it was just a matter of time before these mice ratted out Jamie. 

Dave Harrison

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:16 | 1167119 HamyWanger
HamyWanger's picture

Who cares??? 

Jamie Dimon has direct, privileged access to the infinite fiat machine. This guy is one of the most powerful men in America. He can order Bernanke to buy the judges if he faces a trial. 

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:18 | 1167127 mcarthur
mcarthur's picture

He may be the last man standing but he is a sleazy scumbag nonetheless.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:20 | 1167131 IdioTsincracY
IdioTsincracY's picture

That is exactly the attitude that makes it possible for 0.1% of the population to control the rest of us.

Thu, 04/14/2011 - 00:24 | 1167140 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

at least tyler sets the stage by announcing the hype and the bullshit! "And Now For..."

durbin is the senior US Senator from illinois, Dem, 0'course.  president milk dud usta commute with the fukin shill!

i was gonna say hold yer nose and put up his web page link, but i couldn't get it to load 2X and finally slammed that fukin window shut!  he's a pretty high ranking senate dem.  #2?  so, we know he just hates fukin banksters like we do! 

these crooks are just laughing up their sleeves abt this debit card bullshit!  jamie dimon is one of the most fabulous banksters in the history of the world.  lucky us!  i'm already on the rcord, like 3X,  that i'm glad he's not chinese!  he may be one of the rothschild/mossad puppet masters of our insignificant nation, but he's no chinese commie, for pete's sake!

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:26 | 1167146 bankonzhongguo
bankonzhongguo's picture

Put both of these privileged assholes in a blender.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:41 | 1167186 Misean
Misean's picture

Yep. Best idea so far on this thread...

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:30 | 1167149 IdioTsincracY
IdioTsincracY's picture

Yeah ... lucky us!


“If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their money, first by inflation and then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them (around the banks), will deprive the people of their property until their children will wake up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered.” -
Thomas Jefferson

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:31 | 1167158 Dr. Porkchop
Dr. Porkchop's picture

Cue up the suicide vests, time to blow up the economy again. Maybe his mad power will finally go to his head and he'll pull a glock and put it to Turbo Timmy's head, threatening to pull the trigger.. this will all backfire when the crowd chants 'Do him! Do that motherfucka!', like a prison yard shiv fight.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:37 | 1167172 Arkadaba
Arkadaba's picture

Ok kids, as one of the few female posters on this site- JDimon is hot! I admit it! Luckily I do have morals (mostly). I'm guessing he will be president wannabe in in 2020?

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:42 | 1167197 IdioTsincracY
IdioTsincracY's picture

I'm voting for Brooklyn Decker!!

Thu, 04/14/2011 - 00:28 | 1167909 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

lol!  no shit, arka!  he's a fabulous bankster!  tell it like it is!

Thu, 04/14/2011 - 10:05 | 1168548 gall batter
gall batter's picture

Arkadaba, I concur.  Hot, hot, hot.  I have mostly morals, too, but an hour-long relapse, um, might be fun.  I think I could forgive myself.    

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:38 | 1167180 TideFighter
TideFighter's picture

Hopefully, Durbin has hygrothermophobia.

Oh, and likes take the walkbridge.

I'm coming Elizabeth.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:44 | 1167195 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

this is just a prelude to Uncle O's fat cat bankers routine during the reelection campaign.

cue the smoke machine and mirror balls.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:48 | 1167215 IdioTsincracY
IdioTsincracY's picture

At least somebody is doing the routine, because on the other side all we have is the usual "bend-over and get-ready-to-rumble" act.


Obvously we Americans, being the masochistics we are, will gladly oblige and  bend over!

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 20:53 | 1167418 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

"bend-over and get-ready-to-rumble" act.

that's being saved for the sequel in development, release date sometime spring 2013.


Wed, 04/13/2011 - 20:57 | 1167421 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture


Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:50 | 1167225 BernankeHasHemo...
BernankeHasHemorrhoids's picture

Every American needs to do what I did: close every Chase account that I had. And if I ever get one of their prepaid mailers - fill them up with garbage and mail them back. FIGHT BACK!

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:51 | 1167239 zen0
zen0's picture

Garbage? you don't have access to dog turds? Just a sample in saran wrap will do. You don't have to actually touch it.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:57 | 1167249 IdioTsincracY
IdioTsincracY's picture

Great idea!

Working on it right now...


Wed, 04/13/2011 - 23:34 | 1167841 Montgomery Burns
Montgomery Burns's picture

I just kept my free checking and savings accts open each with less than $1 in them. Took them a couple of years to close the accts.

Thu, 04/14/2011 - 00:37 | 1167918 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

i tried that for a while after i got the free $100.  then i got a piece of mail explaining that they could start charging me fees on my lifetime free checking if they felt like it, basically.  so i went in and took up mr. smoothie manager's time, again, for an hour, while he kept trying to  innocently question me about where else i banked and what kinds of services i used at my other banks. 

i finally told the slimeball it was none of his fukin business, after he'd just innocently asked me the probing question for about the eighth time.  i told him i didn't mean to be rude, but what why the fuk do i need this shit from a jackass banker?  anyway? 

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 19:49 | 1167232 zen0
zen0's picture

Dis Jaimie Demon guy sounds like a prime candidate to be an example.


You know, the kind of example where wise guys say "you don't wanna do a Jaimie Demon", in order, you know, to keep things in orderly.

Its not personal, its business.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 20:26 | 1167329 monopoly
monopoly's picture

It felt so good closing out accounts at BAC, WFC and US bank. We went to a smaller bank, solvent and very pleasant. Want nothing to do with Squids. That is how you can fight, get out of these banks as soon as you can. There are good credit unions and solid banks. Believe me it will make you feel better.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 20:37 | 1167367 monopoly
monopoly's picture

If Durbin is for real, which is sounds like he is, a breath of fresh air in this cess pool called Congress.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 20:51 | 1167395 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

Has Obama taught us nothing about a "breath of fresh air"?  I think have all I can handle.   At least the hot air is honest about his intentions. 

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 21:10 | 1167468 max2205
max2205's picture


Political mullet: yelling in the front and butt licking in the back

I kill myself...

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 22:11 | 1167635 vxpatel
vxpatel's picture


Why is the Federal Reserve forking over $220 million in bailout money to the wives of two Morgan Stanley bigwigs?

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 23:10 | 1167813 tpberg7
tpberg7's picture

This could end up being a serious pissing match!

Two dicks with no brains = showtime

Thu, 04/14/2011 - 00:30 | 1167911 LMAOLORI
LMAOLORI's picture

Of course, banks are "already" making money "hand-over-fist" because of the bailouts, implied bailouts and special trading privileges that big banks get with the Fed. You would think Durbin would understand this, since it appears he adjusted his portfolio to gain from the benefit Berkshire Hathaway received from these bailouts.

Thu, 04/14/2011 - 01:03 | 1167948 Bartanist
Bartanist's picture

Still have no respect for Durbin since he sided with Monsanto over small farmers. Dick is just paid from a different end of the pool.

Thu, 04/14/2011 - 02:23 | 1167997 j0sh1130
j0sh1130's picture

Well done, Mr. Durbin.

Thu, 04/14/2011 - 09:24 | 1168412 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

Dickhead Durbin, always grandstanding on the wrong issue. This is the biggest problem we have in the banking system today?

I guess if he tackles the real issues he loses his gravy train though.......hey Dick say hi to Bill Daley out in DC would ya..........

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