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And For Today's Dose Of The Surreal: Mubarak Suffers Heart Attack During Questioning

Tyler Durden's picture




 

From The National Post:

Egyptian state television is reporting that former president Hosni Mubarak suffered a heart attack during questioning by prosecutors investigating graft and abuse allegations which prompted his admission to hospital Tuesday

Previously:

Former Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak was hospitalized in the Red Sea resort of Sharm el-Sheikh Tuesday, two days after he was summoned for questioning by prosecutors, security sources told AFP.

“Mubarak was admitted to the Sharm el-Sheikh International Hospital this afternoon, amid a very heavy security presence in the town,” a security source told AFP.

Contacted by AFP, a hospital source refused to comment on the news and said that “the minister of health will make an announcement” shortly.

Mr. Mubarak was admitted by his bodyguards to the VIP wing of the hospital, state television reported, adding that the hospital was not accepting any patients except for emergency cases.

Police cars and ambulances surrounded the hospital, as well as a heavy military police presence, the television said.

Well, with the credit bubble boiling over, and funds using other people's money to buy up bridges in the Kalahari desert from point A to point A, in pursuit of guaranteed 10% in Kalahari Bridge Collateralized Debt, who can really blame the Egyptians for trying to access the collateralized bullshit obligation market?

And yes, we predict now that Mubarak will "die" soon, with his body mysteriously vanishing naturally.

 

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Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:00 | 1162559 apberusdisvet
apberusdisvet's picture

sand-boarding?

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:51 | 1162755 samsara
samsara's picture

Congressional Hearing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzIw44w00ow&feature=player_embedded#at=76

The dart from this secret CIA weapon can penetrate clothing and leave nothing but a tiny red dot on the skin. On penetration of the deadly dart, the individual targeted for assassination may feel as if bitten by a mosquito, or they may not feel anything at all. The poisonous dart completely disintegrates upon entering the target.

The lethal poison then rapidly enters the bloodstream causing a heart attack. Once the damage is done, the poison denatures quickly, so that an autopsy is very unlikely to detect that the heart attack resulted from anything other than natural causes.

Source: http://www.examiner.com/x-6495-US-Intelligence-Examiner~y2009m11d29-CIA-secret-weapon-of-assassination

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 16:54 | 1162990 destiny
destiny's picture

YYep, evil fucks everywhere : 

Gorbachev | Illuminati Conspiracy Archive Blog

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 17:24 | 1163082 Trundle
Trundle's picture

Who do you think got Matt Simmons?

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 18:39 | 1163249 adamparis
adamparis's picture

damn, give him son Viagra quickly.

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:01 | 1162564 LRC Fan
LRC Fan's picture

Bullish

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:28 | 1162675 Rahm
Rahm's picture

Mega Bullish, because he recovered from his coma:

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503543_162-20031716-503543.html

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:02 | 1162569 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

"This is the big one, Elizabeth. I'm coming to be with you".

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:02 | 1162575 Bubbles...bubbl...
Bubbles...bubbles everywhere's picture

You beat me by a second.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stdi-1tIUhM

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:09 | 1162599 long juan silver
long juan silver's picture

Wha chu talkin bout Willis??

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:33 | 1162690 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

Bubbles, Hedge, you both need professional help  :)  that's the first damn thing I thought of, too!

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:55 | 1162783 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

King Chairsatan, Mubarak & Sons, wheezin the junk, like a Milken Heart Attack on Casino Night at the Pyramid next to D Nile, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UupyFSJeQI trying to escape their loss. Got a feeling Mubarak and the Mo Mo's are gonna walk like ...wait for it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nuhja7y4TM

 

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 20:07 | 1163494 knukles
knukles's picture

I want dibs on his testicles.  Just think about it.  What somebody, sometime down the road might pay for that/them little oddities.  Probably better than PM's.  New market in HosniNuts.  Come with a surprise inside.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 03:43 | 1164397 cowpieflapjack
cowpieflapjack's picture

pass the nuts please. plain or salted?

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:00 | 1162571 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Sort of like the TEPCO CEO: falls ill when the SHTF.  Are we supposed to feel sorry for him?

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:38 | 1162713 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Nah. He will just be chillin' with Ken Lay down in Argentina.

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 07:08 | 1164508 tonyw
tonyw's picture

Feel sorry, no way he had many years of stealing from the people for the benfit of his cronies and did not hesitate to violently crush dissent.

Good news, apparently his two sons have been taken to jail in Cairo this morning.

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:02 | 1162580 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Funny how everything happens to go in the proper direction as dictated by the Fed.

Either by a tsunami of paper shorts in the oil market, Fed buying of retail stocks, and mysterious illnesses befalling various dictators.

Looks like TPTB has everything under control.

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:15 | 1162640 downrodeo
downrodeo's picture

Everyone has a calling, we all serve our purpose. It is good for business though.

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:07 | 1162588 Arius
Arius's picture

"And yes, we predict now that Mubarak will "die" soon, with his body mysteriously vanishing naturally."

do you mean he is already dead???

come to think of it...his VP read his letter of resignation...

reminds me of Nigeria's president...yeah well...c'est la vie...you win some lose some...

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:07 | 1162591 FunkyMonkeyBoy
FunkyMonkeyBoy's picture

Pure theater.

The world is a stage.

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:08 | 1162606 gordengeko
gordengeko's picture

...And life is just a ride.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7criyE09uy0

Love that bit

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:07 | 1162593 long juan silver
long juan silver's picture

It occured the moment he was told gold was down $13. Net to you Mr President? A $580,000,000,000 hit to your 1,400,000 tonne stash. Relax sir, 1.1% is no big.

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:10 | 1162605 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Mubi is donating all of that gold to the "Bill and Melinda Gates Charitable Foundation" upon his death.  Wants to go to heaven and wait for Buffie up there.

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:10 | 1162604 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

You can't waterboard an 82 year old man...

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:12 | 1162617 oklaboy
oklaboy's picture

Y

S

R

O

W

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:12 | 1162628 Misean
Misean's picture

The USeless Empire had best be careful how it treats its aging satraps. The deal has always been a nice villa in the south of France, with all the stolen loot to make things cozy.

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:25 | 1162633 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Righto Tyler,

And now that every last really pathetic loser long side criminal institutional bagholder has been bailed out intraday by the power of the magic HFT deployed today at 1:31 est on the Roach Motel [SPY] in unison with the printing press in Ben Bernanke's basement...I think we can now resume the plunging and screaming in disbelief portion of today's market programing...as the Great Goldman "surprise" continues while every last hockey helmet wearing moron who has not left yet tries to jam himself into the exit door at the same time...because he is still "bullish" because historical PEs are "cheap" and UnicornDew futures contracts suggest 20% upside in Pixiefuckindust, while E. Burnett smiles and laughs her disturbingly syrupy laughter and Phil Le beau reports on anything but GM cars with steering wheels that pop off, and Cramer chants the same 10 ticker symbols for the 1000th time in hopes that one last algorithm written by a retarded programmer...buy buy buys...and Becky Quick prepares to freak everyone out by endorsing the IRS.

Great!  Now...where the fuck is the actual market?  Anyone...Beuller....Beuller....

And anyway...in the final stretch...while you report the upcoming planned dollar crime spree to come at Treasury... bringing us home is M. Bartiromo and grandpa Giffith with a scintillating Bull/Bull debate between people who long ago lost track of their actual intellectual curiosity, misplaced with their credibility which was inside of their moral code....and Bob Pisani tells us what the "important thing about today is."

LONG AND STRONG HERE, Tyler!!  Fucking crazy pills everywhere baby!!

 

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 20:13 | 1163507 knukles
knukles's picture

Your're doing well, son.

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:14 | 1162636 JailBank
JailBank's picture

Did he try to eat all the gold he stole? It has 0 nutrional value, so I'm told.

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 16:15 | 1162870 Vendetta
Vendetta's picture

Nouriel recommends spam as a solid investment because you can't eat gold

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 16:34 | 1162924 velobabe
velobabe's picture

well i almost swallowed my gold crown tooth. it fell off as i bit into my bubble gum, this morning. i could of swallowed that fucker†

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 19:21 | 1163353 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

It's not a gold crown tooth. It's a gold mercury almalgam. It's kill you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ylnQ-T7oiA

My mom tripped and lost a tooth and they could have put it back in but the people who worked at the dentist office were so poisoned to retardation that they were unable to figure out what she was calling about. They thought a crown had fallen off or some shit when they could have put her in the chair and put it back in within a couple hours.

They had to force my dentist into retirement because he was making so many bad mistakes because he had been neurologically damaged so badly.

 

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:19 | 1162648 Bubbles the cat (not verified)
Bubbles the cat's picture

Illness often precedes a pardon. Might find him mingling on Bondi Beach.

http://www.smh.com.au/world/mubaraks-stash-put-at-660b-20110410-1d9c4.html

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 20:23 | 1163542 knukles
knukles's picture

ClubMed.  In a neon international flame rescue electric orange banana hanger, humongoliod white rimmed blue tinted sunglasses, slathered with Crisco, Lindsay Lohan on his arm barely able to stand or move being dragged along in the sand, a Motorola DynaTAC 8000X slung over his shoulder screaming obscenities at Jim Cramer live on the air (something about the equity layer of the Aswan Dam Advantage VIII defaulted interest only equity layer of a deal he's trying to unload) ultra long hand carved ivory cigarette holder with a massive splib/Gitanes (F*me that sounds bloody good!) mix alight, a massive cloud of blueish smoke wafting about after him.
The world is his oyster. 
And all I wants's his testicles for my odditiies collection.
Is that asking too much?

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:23 | 1162651 Ruffcut
Ruffcut's picture

Pulling a Ken Lay. Got to get him to caymens to reward him of his loyal service.

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:21 | 1162653 nah
nah's picture

he will never talk... he would rather die by heart attack

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:25 | 1162662 Pchelar
Pchelar's picture

Sounds like just how Slobodan Milosevic died of a "heart attack" during his trial at the Hague.  Ex-US puppets always seem to expire before they can deliver any damning testimony...

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:42 | 1162729 samsara
samsara's picture

Or WhistleBlowers  sitting in a Hot Tub.  

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 18:02 | 1163171 samsara
samsara's picture

Yes, alas he was too. 

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:24 | 1162670 centerline
centerline's picture

Is there a 3x ETF for bullshit?

 

Wait... don't answer that.

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 20:24 | 1163558 knukles
knukles's picture

Ding ding ding ding ding
The winning comment of the month.

Priceless

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:28 | 1162684 tmosley
tmosley's picture

"Enhanced interrogation", ie torture (stress positions, etc), put a huge amount of stress on the heart.  An older person being subjected to such treatment is likely to suffer such a fate.

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 18:48 | 1163263 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Yes, the Mukhabarat got Mubarak.

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:47 | 1162736 Lilguy
Lilguy's picture

. . . maybe it was the electric wires connected to his gonads.

I can only hope!

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:47 | 1162739 max2205
max2205's picture

He cant buy the dip anymore....you can't make this shit up

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:48 | 1162752 belogical
belogical's picture

Your gonna need about 10,000 ambulances for heart attack victims when this economy crashses and memebers of congress, banks, wall streeter and the like start getting  questions before people tribunals with death sentences over their heads. It's coming

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 16:19 | 1162878 Vendetta
Vendetta's picture

there will probably be some heart attacks from the PM launch at that time as well.  Different reasons, same stress factor

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:48 | 1162753 topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

Naive guys like mubarak and the tunisian dictator really believe they are loved by the people and will go down in history as a legendary revered leader. They are surrounded by yes men and obsequious sycophants and are oblivious to reality.

Its hard to believe they are so naive but they are. Then when reality intrudes and they find out the truth, it is so emotionally wrenching that it is not surprising they have a real or just a psychological coma, or heart attacks.

The more cynical dictators know the expression of affection is false, but these two bozos must have really believed they were the greatest most beloved leaders ever.

The tunisian dictator even went to visit the burned.dude in the hospital and offer condolences to his family!

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 15:51 | 1162767 Dr. Porkchop
Dr. Porkchop's picture

Isn't that the old mobster trick? Trouble with the old ticker when it comes time to take the stand?

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 16:13 | 1162863 dogismyth
dogismyth's picture

these guys are not stupid.  They know what's coming, and when and why.  One reason why their final moments are certainly seen as acts of desperation.  The trap has been sprung...like a Venus flytrap.  No way out now for Mubarik and he knows it.  But what the hell....he probably had one helluva life and screwed some of the hottest bitches on the largest yachts while drinking the finest and partaking of the finest shaman cocaine available.

I'll bet he agreed to be put to death in lieu of what will be done for his family.  We're talking about dealing with the mafia here....not a witness protection program.  There is nothing at the end of the rope but certainty.

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 16:22 | 1162892 BT310
BT310's picture

Dear Mr Gaddafi,

I apologize for the late response to your Channukah package. Anna and I enjoyed the cookies.

Funds have been kept in our bank in NY amounting to $16 billion(including $4.2 in gold). Please accept a cease fire and agree to cooperate for a few weeks. I am 100% certain that funds will be released without incident or uproar(I saved the damn financial system after all). Thanks to our timely rescue of Bear Stearns, I have wound up with a bunch of worldwide properties where you may "vacation" if needed. Call or text my cell to let me know whats up.

Benny

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 16:28 | 1162903 Gordon Freeman
Gordon Freeman's picture

"collateralized bullshit obligation market" LOL!!!

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 16:44 | 1162955 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

Death is too good for such people

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 16:53 | 1162995 DNB-sore
DNB-sore's picture

By the way, how is Ben Ali coping his stroke?

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 17:02 | 1163022 DNB-sore
DNB-sore's picture

in the media it's death silent

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 17:31 | 1163097 TideFighter
TideFighter's picture

I have a commercial foreclosure hearing coming up. I was wondering how I was going to handle it.

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 20:28 | 1163572 knukles
knukles's picture

The MSM is dead silent about anything of importance whatsofuckingever substituting anything of no importance that they can pawn off as important.

"It's faux important."

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 18:20 | 1163222 gwar5
gwar5's picture

Mubarack is already a dead man walking from advanced cancer. This is not too surprising. Why are they even bothering? I suppose it's to get his $$ or to prevent his children or his cronies from making a comeback.

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 18:56 | 1163284 Fantasy Planet
Fantasy Planet's picture

Can't hack the gold dips.   

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 22:04 | 1163857 zen0
zen0's picture

Gold is an odd thing. If you collect it, but it goes down in fiat terms, you can keep it till it comes back. If you die before that time, you can give it to the ensuing generations to keep, waiting for it to come back.

 

But you never sell it. If gold goes up and up, you feel more secure, but you don't sell it in case it goes down, because it will go up later.

If you properly handle gold, you love gold more than you love yourself.

This cannot be existentialy consistent, can it?

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 21:56 | 1163813 zen0
zen0's picture

Is Ariel Sharon still in a coma?

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 23:13 | 1164002 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

Was Ken Lay asking the questions, or Tupac?

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 03:46 | 1164400 cowpieflapjack
cowpieflapjack's picture

A shame Rudolf Hess isn't still the hotelier at Spandau

Wed, 04/13/2011 - 06:17 | 1164478 kraftwerk
kraftwerk's picture

Hmmm its strange how BBC News doesn't say heart attack but "heart problems"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-13058855

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