The Animated Apocalypse: The "Day Of Rapture" For Dummies

Tyler Durden's picture

It appears that according to some, the world will end in 48 hours or something, on May 21, in what Christian radio broadcaster Harold Camping has called the Day of the Rapture. Judging by the inverse selling in the stock market today (if not by those allocated underwriter shares in LNKD: those guys are long gone), mutual funders and other idiot money aren't buying it. Neither is the Treasury which just released its latest 2, 5 and 7 year refunding statement in hopes someone aside from Brian Sack will be left alive to bid up the $110 billion in new US paper. So in order to help readers decide if it is time to start reciting that "The End Is Nigh" here is NMA with their as usual absolutely spot on, and typically humorous, assessment of this most recent brick in the wall of apocalyptic worry, which at best will merely add to the already near record NYSE margin debt.

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camaro68ss's picture

"No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father."
-Matthew 24:36

this man of god needs to read his own book before claming dates

jus_lite_reading's picture




tekhneek's picture

There's a facebook group for it...!/pages/The-worlds-ending-on-May-21st-2011-Im-just-going-to-get-wasted/124927480919650


AcidRastaHead's picture

I think the Good Book was referring to the end of QE.

jus_lite_reading's picture




Hearst's picture

Followers continue to listen to Camping despite the fact that he was wrong in his previous prediction of the end of the world. In his book 1994?, he claimed there was a very high likelihood that the world would end in September, 1994, although he did acknowledge in the book "the possibility does exist that I could be wrong."[14] He makes no mention of this failure when establishing his new claims of the end of the world in October, 2011.


22"When a prophet speaketh in the name of the LORD, if the thing follow not, nor come to pass, that is the thing which the LORD hath not spoken, but the prophet hath spoken it presumptuously: thou shalt not be afraid of him."  Duetronomy 18:21-22


Enough Said.

pazmaker's picture

Hearst,  Combine your bible quote with Camaro's quote is all we need to know to ignore  this wacko.   I am amazed at how conveniently these kooks ignore their own scripture that they purport to espouse.

camaro68ss's picture

i hope this is not one of those kool-aid moments.


Hurry drink the kool-aid to meet christ

tmosley's picture

It'll probably be Red Bull.

Because Red Bull gives you WIIIIIIIIIIIINGS!

New World Chaos's picture

Would that be Jim Jones flavor or Ken Kesey flavor?  You will meet Jesus either way.

IQ 145's picture

 "Harold Camping"; love the name. tripping with campy Harold. God, there's a lot of stupid fucks living in this country.

NinetyNinePlus's picture

Glad you brought up Deuteronomy.. Usually not mentioned by the cult leaders.. It says there (also ch 18) .. we're supposed to kill false prophets..  Reminds me of a joke.. This believer, looking for guidance opens the Bible and randomly selects a verse.. "And Judas took a rope and hanged himself.".. Nah.. couldn't be.. try again.. next selection: "Go thou and do so likewise."  Ahahaha.. I really don't like fundamentalists of any belief system.. but, I can laugh at them. :-)   In my case, I believe that the Earth rides around the Sun on the back of a turtle.. gives me great comfort.

AldoHux_IV's picture


Nor even a random radio broadcaster in America that is a preacher for some radical group of Christians.

Stormdancer's picture

Sad isn't it?  Oh well, there'll be a few people making quick trips to the store Sunday morning to buy a little something they can cook for a breakfast they didn't expect to need.

smlbizman's picture

will i get my exacta money back on the preakness if my jockey gets sucked off "his horse" at the 1/8 pole...

Stormdancer's picture

rofl...Jockey isn't going anywhere so I don't think it'll be an issue :)

long-shorty's picture

No, you will not cash in. If the jockey was not aboard for the entire trip, your horse is DQ'ed. Sorry man; sucks to be a heathen like you. ;-)

smlbizman's picture

talk about versatility, i got a junk ,a rofl and a guy who thinks im serious.....


truth was i have vast knowledge about racing and by being sucked off i meant, vaporized in front of all...i would actually be considered under weight causing the d'q...

rofl you you and homer all get jokes

chindit13's picture

There's a much larger question:

What if halfway during the Preakness the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse join the field, and outrun the original contenders, Rosie Jones-style (Boston Marathon)?  Does one of them win?  Anybody going to argue with their stablemaster?  What do they pay?  What are the stud fees?

baby_BLYTHE's picture

I'm going kill myself tonight

gordengeko's picture

Don't do that babyb, on sunday we will have a chance to be part of a live video game!  How sweet will that be.


How can we have an apocalypse thread with no spx666 doom and texasgunslinger saving souls!  Can I get an AMEN...RA!

Matxeu's picture

Amen and Allah Akbar- I saw that one too.

Here is a prediction- Alien invasion also slated for Sunday.

Hephasteus's picture

Don't do that. This like the mothership is coming october 15th 2008. The amount of ribbing you can put people through over these things is immense. You haven't seen or heard from that goodchilde thing since then have you?

Unless the last space shuttle launch was able to put a new bluebeam up it's not going to happen. Or considering the rush it's probably up there and will fail leaving the elite with a sinking feeling that their shit is going to be on display for the world to see sooner or later.

baby_BLYTHE's picture

who wants to grow up and live their adult life through total chaos, unrest, faminie, total poverty and world war?

Not me!

Benocide is a monster!

DaddyO's picture


bB, hang in there and laugh off the present infatuation with apocalyptic preoccupation. Things are definitely unsettled throughout the modern world. I wonder how much of it is in a subconcious aversion to being overwhelmed with techno overload.

I saw this article online and it just goes to show how fixated everyone is with a certain apocalypse.

All one can do is be prepared for an uncertain event that may leave us without food, water and power for an unknown period. Beyond that don't sweat the small stuff and remember, it's all small stuff!


SMG's picture

I agree. It's not going to stay bad forever.  Things always get better, it just takes time.

Either become part of the resistance, or hide out till it's over, as long as you prepare you'll be fine.

Rynak's picture

bB, at the risk of you ignoring my post after the next word: relax.

You're putting too much into this stuff, are too emotionally involved and *you care too much*. I understand why you act this way. I too years ago was like that - everything and everyone was important to me, because i felt what i saw and thought. Problem is: You will this way be disappointed in this environment. Caring without any "filter" makes you defenseless against a fucked up world.

Ask yourself this: Do they deserve you caring so much? Are you responsible for them? And what do you achieve with this besides or ruining youself?

You're not responsible for saving the world. You're just responsible for you, your actions and how you interact with others.

This is not to say that you should just sit back, do nothing and ignore everything. All i'm saying is: Learn to filter, select and channel. Not just because it protects you, but also because what you do will be more efficient. To care about others, you need to care about you!

P.S.: If you want to talk directly (non-public), then i can arrange this securely.

tmosley's picture

You don't have to. Go down to Costa Rica and live on the beach.

You don't need money to to nothing.

I've thought about moving to CR or the Orient at some point. I love my job too much though. The work we do here is too important to be abandoned.

BigJim's picture

You're kidding, right?

If not - please, PLEASE go and talk to someone.

Seriously. Ring Samaritans, or a friend... or, last resort, keep posting here, and we'll cheer you up with our doomer pessimism.

gordengeko's picture

Look at it this way, you should only fear coming back after you die reincarnated as a dumbed down sapienhomo.

Korrath's picture

Why so serious, BB?


You should always strive to live long enough to laugh at the stupidity of your enemies as they destroy themselves; and if they're not self-destructing fast enough, then by all means, help them on their way.  Hang in there.

New World Chaos's picture

It's not going to be that bad.  The collapse will be short and sharp, and the NWO will lose control because they think on the timescales of bureaucracy.  Total chaos and unrest for sure, culminating in fire and guillotines.  The sack of Washington and New York will be this generation's Woodstock; surely you don't want to miss that.  After the revolution we will be much more free.  Without the parasitic elites bleeding our life-force, there will be a glorious new renaissance of prosperity and technological advancement.  You will be glad you lived through it.  So grab some popcorn and we'll all meet on the other side.

If you're really thinking of killing yourself, I prescribe shrooms.  Not to kill yourself, but to help you find your place in this fucked up reality.  Give you a reason to live, help you surrender your attachments, or at least help you realize that it's all a huge cosmic joke.  Don't worry about them being illegal- they're not illegal because they drive people nuts.  They're illegal because they make people sane.

Stormdancer's picture

Don't do that to us.  We need evidence that there just might be some youngsters coming behind us with enough thinking ability to steer a different course...and you're it girl.  Hope I can believe in comes from people like you...not our Idiot-in-Chief.

JW n FL's picture


it is good to know that someone cares and is willing to take up the Flag of truth for all to see! it is a burden but God gave you the brains to be able to focus.. so use the gifts God gave you! not the good gifts! your brain gift, lil girl!

andybev01's picture

I'm goint to sit outside a local church on Sunday morning with a cooler of beer and tell everyone that their presence there can only mean 1 of two things:

A: there is no god.


B: there is a god and you're not saved.


Forward History's picture

Right, because all Christians believe everything that one random pastor says in some 'burb somewhere. God bless you, man.

dogbreath's picture

please, I hope you are not serious.


edit.  its a bummer I know.  gotta live thru it and come out the other side. 



wandstrasse's picture

 It doesn't matter if we all die
Ambition in the back of a black car
In a high building there is so much to do
Going home time
A story on the radio

Something small falls out of your mouth
And we laugh
A prayer for something better
A prayer
For something better

Please love me
Meet my mother
But the fear takes hold
Creeping up the stairs in the dark

Waiting for the death blow
Waiting for the death blow
Waiting for the death blow
Stroking your hair as the patriots are shot
Fighting for freedom on the television
Sharing the world with slaughtered pigs
Have we got everything?
She struggles to get away . . .

The pain
And the creeping feeling
A little black haired girl
Waiting for Saturday
The death of her father pushing her
Pushing her white face into the mirror
Aching inside me
And turn me round
Just like the old days
Just like the old days
Just like the old days
Just like the old days

Caressing an old man
And painting a lifeless face
Just a piece of new meat in a clean room
The soldiers close in under a yellow moon
All shadows and deliverance
Under a black flag
A hundred years of blood
The ribbon tightens round my throat
I open my mouth
And my head bursts open
A sound like a tiger thrashing in the water
Thrashing in the water
Over and over
We die one after the other
Over and over
We die one after the other
One after the other
One after the other
One after the other
One after the other

It feels like a hundred years
A hundred years
A hundred years
A hundred years
A hundred years
One hundred years

johny2's picture

bB, wait at least a few years more, what's the rush? 

Nacho Libre's picture

Not funny... Silver is no reason to be killing yourself... "Wisdom is better than silver and gold..." It'll be back in 2012.