This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

The Animated Apocalypse: The "Day Of Rapture" For Dummies

Tyler Durden's picture




 

It appears that according to some, the world will end in 48 hours or something, on May 21, in what Christian radio broadcaster Harold Camping has called the Day of the Rapture. Judging by the inverse selling in the stock market today (if not by those allocated underwriter shares in LNKD: those guys are long gone), mutual funders and other idiot money aren't buying it. Neither is the Treasury which just released its latest 2, 5 and 7 year refunding statement in hopes someone aside from Brian Sack will be left alive to bid up the $110 billion in new US paper. So in order to help readers decide if it is time to start reciting that "The End Is Nigh" here is NMA with their as usual absolutely spot on, and typically humorous, assessment of this most recent brick in the wall of apocalyptic worry, which at best will merely add to the already near record NYSE margin debt.

 

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:09 | 1292156 baby_BLYTHE
baby_BLYTHE's picture

.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:15 | 1292247 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

"No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father."
-Matthew 24:36

this man of god needs to read his own book before claming dates

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:21 | 1292262 jus_lite_reading
jus_lite_reading's picture

WTF!!!!!!!!!!! I THINK THEY WANT TO BRING ABOUT THE APOCALYPSE!!!

http://www.yournabe.com/articles/2011/05/17/brooklyn_graphic/news/courie...

TEACHING MUSLIMS IN BROOKLYN WITH BOMBS!!!!! WTF!!!

GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!! GEEZUS!!!!!

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 15:58 | 1292994 asdasmos
asdasmos's picture

@camaro68ss

It's a great con isn't it?

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 16:07 | 1293031 tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

There's a facebook group for it...

http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-worlds-ending-on-May-21st-2011-Im-just...!/pages/The-worlds-ending-on-May-21st-2011-Im-just-going-to-get-wasted/124927480919650

LOL

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:19 | 1292273 AcidRastaHead
AcidRastaHead's picture

I think the Good Book was referring to the end of QE.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:28 | 1292576 spiral_eyes
spiral_eyes's picture

the father bernank.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:22 | 1292274 jus_lite_reading
jus_lite_reading's picture

WTF!!!!!!!!!!! I THINK THEY WANT TO BRING ABOUT THE APOCALYPSE!!!

http://www.yournabe.com/articles/2011/05/17/brooklyn_graphic/news/courie...

TEACHING MUSLIMS IN BROOKLYN WITH BOMBS!!!!! WTF!!!

GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!! GEEZUS!!!!!

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:28 | 1292304 Hearst
Hearst's picture

Followers continue to listen to Camping despite the fact that he was wrong in his previous prediction of the end of the world. In his book 1994?, he claimed there was a very high likelihood that the world would end in September, 1994, although he did acknowledge in the book "the possibility does exist that I could be wrong."[14] He makes no mention of this failure when establishing his new claims of the end of the world in October, 2011.

 

22"When a prophet speaketh in the name of the LORD, if the thing follow not, nor come to pass, that is the thing which the LORD hath not spoken, but the prophet hath spoken it presumptuously: thou shalt not be afraid of him."  Duetronomy 18:21-22

 

Enough Said.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:39 | 1292353 pazmaker
pazmaker's picture

Hearst,  Combine your bible quote with Camaro's quote is all we need to know to ignore  this wacko.   I am amazed at how conveniently these kooks ignore their own scripture that they purport to espouse.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:51 | 1292405 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

i hope this is not one of those kool-aid moments.

 

Hurry drink the kool-aid to meet christ

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:08 | 1292485 tmosley
tmosley's picture

It'll probably be Red Bull.

Because Red Bull gives you WIIIIIIIIIIIINGS!

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 18:53 | 1293748 New World Chaos
New World Chaos's picture

Would that be Jim Jones flavor or Ken Kesey flavor?  You will meet Jesus either way.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:22 | 1292549 IQ 145
IQ 145's picture

 "Harold Camping"; love the name. tripping with campy Harold. God, there's a lot of stupid fucks living in this country.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:30 | 1292608 NinetyNinePlus
NinetyNinePlus's picture

Glad you brought up Deuteronomy.. Usually not mentioned by the cult leaders.. It says there (also ch 18) .. we're supposed to kill false prophets..  Reminds me of a joke.. This believer, looking for guidance opens the Bible and randomly selects a verse.. "And Judas took a rope and hanged himself.".. Nah.. couldn't be.. try again.. next selection: "Go thou and do so likewise."  Ahahaha.. I really don't like fundamentalists of any belief system.. but, I can laugh at them. :-)   In my case, I believe that the Earth rides around the Sun on the back of a turtle.. gives me great comfort.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:32 | 1292337 AldoHux_IV
AldoHux_IV's picture

+1

Nor even a random radio broadcaster in America that is a preacher for some radical group of Christians.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:23 | 1292553 andybev01
Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:33 | 1292344 Stormdancer
Stormdancer's picture

Sad isn't it?  Oh well, there'll be a few people making quick trips to the store Sunday morning to buy a little something they can cook for a breakfast they didn't expect to need.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:49 | 1292399 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

will i get my exacta money back on the preakness if my jockey gets sucked off "his horse" at the 1/8 pole...

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:04 | 1292465 Stormdancer
Stormdancer's picture

rofl...Jockey isn't going anywhere so I don't think it'll be an issue :)

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 19:27 | 1293830 long-shorty
long-shorty's picture

No, you will not cash in. If the jockey was not aboard for the entire trip, your horse is DQ'ed. Sorry man; sucks to be a heathen like you. ;-)

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 19:44 | 1293861 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

talk about versatility, i got a junk ,a rofl and a guy who thinks im serious.....

 

truth was i have vast knowledge about racing and by being sucked off i meant, vaporized in front of all...i would actually be considered under weight causing the d'q...

rofl you win...me you and homer all get jokes

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 22:05 | 1294224 chindit13
chindit13's picture

There's a much larger question:

What if halfway during the Preakness the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse join the field, and outrun the original contenders, Rosie Jones-style (Boston Marathon)?  Does one of them win?  Anybody going to argue with their stablemaster?  What do they pay?  What are the stud fees?

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 21:59 | 1294227 chindit13
chindit13's picture

.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 21:58 | 1294242 chindit13
chindit13's picture

.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:42 | 1292366 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

+ 100

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:27 | 1292315 baby_BLYTHE
baby_BLYTHE's picture

I'm going kill myself tonight

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:34 | 1292339 gordengeko
gordengeko's picture

Don't do that babyb, on sunday we will have a chance to be part of a live video game!  How sweet will that be.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/blogpost/post/cdc-prepares-for-zombie-apocalypse-tips-on-how-to-survive/2011/05/19/AFHPqD7G_blog.html

 

How can we have an apocalypse thread with no spx666 doom and texasgunslinger saving souls!  Can I get an AMEN...RA!

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:00 | 1292457 Matxeu
Matxeu's picture

Amen and Allah Akbar- I saw that one too.

Here is a prediction- Alien invasion also slated for Sunday.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:33 | 1292342 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Don't do that. This like the mothership is coming october 15th 2008. The amount of ribbing you can put people through over these things is immense. You haven't seen or heard from that goodchilde thing since then have you?

Unless the last space shuttle launch was able to put a new bluebeam up it's not going to happen. Or considering the rush it's probably up there and will fail leaving the elite with a sinking feeling that their shit is going to be on display for the world to see sooner or later.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:39 | 1292365 baby_BLYTHE
baby_BLYTHE's picture

who wants to grow up and live their adult life through total chaos, unrest, faminie, total poverty and world war?

Not me!

Benocide is a monster!

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:51 | 1292407 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

 

bB, hang in there and laugh off the present infatuation with apocalyptic preoccupation. Things are definitely unsettled throughout the modern world. I wonder how much of it is in a subconcious aversion to being overwhelmed with techno overload.

I saw this article online and it just goes to show how fixated everyone is with a certain apocalypse.

http://www.observer.com/hedge-funds-running-farms-05172011

All one can do is be prepared for an uncertain event that may leave us without food, water and power for an unknown period. Beyond that don't sweat the small stuff and remember, it's all small stuff!

DaddyO

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:03 | 1292459 SMG
SMG's picture

I agree. It's not going to stay bad forever.  Things always get better, it just takes time.

Either become part of the resistance, or hide out till it's over, as long as you prepare you'll be fine.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:15 | 1292460 Rynak
Rynak's picture

bB, at the risk of you ignoring my post after the next word: relax.

You're putting too much into this stuff, are too emotionally involved and *you care too much*. I understand why you act this way. I too years ago was like that - everything and everyone was important to me, because i felt what i saw and thought. Problem is: You will this way be disappointed in this environment. Caring without any "filter" makes you defenseless against a fucked up world.

Ask yourself this: Do they deserve you caring so much? Are you responsible for them? And what do you achieve with this besides or ruining youself?

You're not responsible for saving the world. You're just responsible for you, your actions and how you interact with others.

This is not to say that you should just sit back, do nothing and ignore everything. All i'm saying is: Learn to filter, select and channel. Not just because it protects you, but also because what you do will be more efficient. To care about others, you need to care about you!

P.S.: If you want to talk directly (non-public), then i can arrange this securely.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:08 | 1292496 tmosley
tmosley's picture

You don't have to. Go down to Costa Rica and live on the beach.

You don't need money to to nothing.

I've thought about moving to CR or the Orient at some point. I love my job too much though. The work we do here is too important to be abandoned.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:33 | 1292625 BigJim
BigJim's picture

You're kidding, right?

If not - please, PLEASE go and talk to someone.

Seriously. Ring Samaritans, or a friend... or, last resort, keep posting here, and we'll cheer you up with our doomer pessimism.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:45 | 1292663 gordengeko
gordengeko's picture

Look at it this way, you should only fear coming back after you die reincarnated as a dumbed down sapienhomo.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:48 | 1292677 Korrath
Korrath's picture

Why so serious, BB?

 

You should always strive to live long enough to laugh at the stupidity of your enemies as they destroy themselves; and if they're not self-destructing fast enough, then by all means, help them on their way.  Hang in there.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 19:42 | 1293784 New World Chaos
New World Chaos's picture

It's not going to be that bad.  The collapse will be short and sharp, and the NWO will lose control because they think on the timescales of bureaucracy.  Total chaos and unrest for sure, culminating in fire and guillotines.  The sack of Washington and New York will be this generation's Woodstock; surely you don't want to miss that.  After the revolution we will be much more free.  Without the parasitic elites bleeding our life-force, there will be a glorious new renaissance of prosperity and technological advancement.  You will be glad you lived through it.  So grab some popcorn and we'll all meet on the other side.

If you're really thinking of killing yourself, I prescribe shrooms.  Not to kill yourself, but to help you find your place in this fucked up reality.  Give you a reason to live, help you surrender your attachments, or at least help you realize that it's all a huge cosmic joke.  Don't worry about them being illegal- they're not illegal because they drive people nuts.  They're illegal because they make people sane.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:06 | 1292486 Stormdancer
Stormdancer's picture

Don't do that to us.  We need evidence that there just might be some youngsters coming behind us with enough thinking ability to steer a different course...and you're it girl.  Hope I can believe in comes from people like you...not our Idiot-in-Chief.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 15:06 | 1292787 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

it is good to know that someone cares and is willing to take up the Flag of truth for all to see! it is a burden but God gave you the brains to be able to focus.. so use the gifts God gave you! not the good gifts! your brain gift, lil girl!

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:27 | 1292594 andybev01
andybev01's picture

I'm goint to sit outside a local church on Sunday morning with a cooler of beer and tell everyone that their presence there can only mean 1 of two things:

A: there is no god.

or

B: there is a god and you're not saved.

Amen

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 15:06 | 1292786 Forward History
Forward History's picture

Right, because all Christians believe everything that one random pastor says in some 'burb somewhere. God bless you, man.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 15:08 | 1292796 andybev01
andybev01's picture

she does ;)

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:41 | 1292638 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

please, I hope you are not serious.

 

edit.  its a bummer I know.  gotta live thru it and come out the other side. 

 

 

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 16:15 | 1293078 wandstrasse
wandstrasse's picture

 It doesn't matter if we all die
Ambition in the back of a black car
In a high building there is so much to do
Going home time
A story on the radio

Something small falls out of your mouth
And we laugh
A prayer for something better
A prayer
For something better

Please love me
Meet my mother
But the fear takes hold
Creeping up the stairs in the dark

Waiting for the death blow
Waiting for the death blow
Waiting for the death blow
Stroking your hair as the patriots are shot
Fighting for freedom on the television
Sharing the world with slaughtered pigs
Have we got everything?
She struggles to get away . . .

The pain
And the creeping feeling
A little black haired girl
Waiting for Saturday
The death of her father pushing her
Pushing her white face into the mirror
Aching inside me
And turn me round
Just like the old days
Just like the old days
Just like the old days
Just like the old days

Caressing an old man
And painting a lifeless face
Just a piece of new meat in a clean room
The soldiers close in under a yellow moon
All shadows and deliverance
Under a black flag
A hundred years of blood
Crimson
The ribbon tightens round my throat
I open my mouth
And my head bursts open
A sound like a tiger thrashing in the water
Thrashing in the water
Over and over
We die one after the other
Over and over
We die one after the other
One after the other
One after the other
One after the other
One after the other

It feels like a hundred years
A hundred years
A hundred years
A hundred years
A hundred years
One hundred years

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 16:57 | 1293290 ZapBranigan
Thu, 05/19/2011 - 17:56 | 1293562 ColonelCooper
ColonelCooper's picture

This again?  Must we?

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 17:59 | 1293570 johny2
johny2's picture

bB, wait at least a few years more, what's the rush? 

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 19:42 | 1293857 Nacho Libre
Nacho Libre's picture

Not funny... Silver is no reason to be killing yourself... "Wisdom is better than silver and gold..." It'll be back in 2012. 

Fri, 05/20/2011 - 02:17 | 1294750 Tsukato
Tsukato's picture

WHOA! Dont do anything RASH! Why do you have to do it tonight?! Take a couple of days, and think of some way you can take out lots of others, write a manifesto, and make sure its messy as hell. No suicide these days should go wasted. No media exposure = wasted death. Just my humble opinion. Anyway, hope it all works out well for you. Cheers ;)

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:32 | 1292340 SMG
SMG's picture

Of course this guy is full of it,  he was wrong in 1994 and he'll most likely be wrong again in 2 days. 

But the thing is in anywhere from  next few months to the next few years, we are going to have a financial apocalypse and maybe even a real one if the financial collapse causes WWIII.  People need to be ready.  Guys like this might make people think this is a joke, but the truth is there are really hard times coming and everybody needs to be ready for it.  Tell your friends and family and if you're well off buy a little extra preparations for them even if they didn't listen.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:38 | 1292350 Sgt.Sausage
Sgt.Sausage's picture

"... most likely be wrong again ..."

 

No. WILL BE wrong again in 2 days.

 

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:38 | 1292361 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Ah, c'mon, let them hedge a lil bit.

It's a fairly short time-lime, after all.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:04 | 1292475 cossack55
cossack55's picture

I hope they all bank at Chase.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 17:25 | 1293452 Blano
Blano's picture

Guess this means no QE3.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:07 | 1292166 silberblick
silberblick's picture

YouTube's Harisebon7777777 should be commended for his work on measuring the radiation levels in Tokyo. The device he uses costs about $1000, which I am sure he has paid out of his own pocket to provide us with the truth of what is really going on in Japan.

It is eerie to watch his videos. Typically, his hand is shown holding a geiger counter in some public place with people walking all around him as if there was nothing of importance going on; while all along, the geiger counter in his hand reveals what is really happening. Harisebon is documenting the slow irradiation of the Japanese archipelago. A visual unfolding of a tragedy.

While watching these videos. it is hard not to wonder how many of the folks one sees walking down the street will come down with cancer in 10, 20 or 30 years.

Go to Harisebon's YouTube channel and give him a shout-out. He deserves it.

http://fukushimadisaster.blogspot.com/2011/05/radiation-harajiku-omotesa...

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:06 | 1292186 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

TEPCO releases new pics of the tsunami hitting the plant, from two locations inside the plant (and where pray tell have these been hiding?   The Nuclear Secrecy Shadow knows)

http://www3.nhk.or.jp/daily/english/19_24.html

 

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:10 | 1292213 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

Jim - 

Did you hear about that worker with internal radiation of 30,000 cpm? 

Pre-tt-y crazy if you ask me.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:08 | 1292493 Stormdancer
Stormdancer's picture

I read that.  They're killing many of those workers and they know it.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:07 | 1292168 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

The Facebook group 'Post rapture looting' has nearly 300,000 signed up.  Bet the folks at 33 Liberty will still be there, though, so don't count on looting there.

 

 

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:07 | 1292192 WALLST8MY8BALL
WALLST8MY8BALL's picture

That is where they have the factory for ROBOLOOTERS!

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:09 | 1292200 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

If I had facebook I would probably check it out. 

I'm sure it's quite fascinating.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:05 | 1292177 CPL
CPL's picture

well...if doesn't come on Saturday, I'll wait for the next one.  Seems to be at least a couple hundred predictions every year on this shit.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:07 | 1292193 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

It actually happened on september 1994. Just not many people participated so they are trying to hype it up more.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:11 | 1292217 CPL
CPL's picture

I recall Pat Roberts claiming jesus was coming to take him in the rapture, as it turns out it was only the anti-fraud agencies that were after him along.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:24 | 1292289 Korrath
Korrath's picture

What is the plural form of Apocalypse?  

 

...Apocalypses?

 

...Apocali?  

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:35 | 1292336 Mad Max
Mad Max's picture

Apocalypto?

Wait, I think that was a Mel Gibson film.  Same thing pretty much.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:51 | 1292409 RichardENixon
RichardENixon's picture

Apackalips

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:21 | 1292535 Stormdancer
Stormdancer's picture

Apocali is taken already.  Thats the day California defaults, the Cascadia subduction zone lets loose with a 9.2 and a 9.5 in Mexicali pours the Gulf of California into the Imperial Valley.  Not  until May 27th I think....something about some volcanic activity around Mono Lake that day too...

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 17:11 | 1293361 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

Apoca-lie.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:05 | 1292179 Magnix
Magnix's picture

No, only God knows when time ends not even Jesus. Nothing is going to happen in 48 hours.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:15 | 1292222 pan-the-ist
pan-the-ist's picture

Phew.  Your rational insight provided me with some much needed relief.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:19 | 1292251 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Nothing is going to happen in 48 hours.

 

Well, although I disagree with the rapture coming in 48 hours, your comment is a judgement that goes against the bible saying "no one will know the time or the place" and refutes your first sentence.  If only God knows, then how do you know nothing will happen in 48 hours?

 

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:50 | 1292400 Magnix
Magnix's picture

Yes, this is what I meant by God know when to end this, but the last sentence was based on my guts. :-) because what you see out there is not that bad and can last some more times. I dont know. Thanks for your pinpoint comment.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:49 | 1292415 RichardENixon
RichardENixon's picture

Why Pope wear monkey hate?

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:54 | 1292428 Magnix
Magnix's picture

...and you're right I'd never know whats gonna happen in 48 hours.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:55 | 1292419 Rick64
Rick64's picture

Lol. I will ease your mind a little more. It will never happen.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:13 | 1292228 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture

tyler is not going. he was bad. he has to stay here and serve his penance.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:20 | 1292254 theopco
theopco's picture

I'm confused. I thought Jesus WAS God. Are they the same or different?

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:32 | 1292320 scratch_and_sniff
scratch_and_sniff's picture

Jesus was on bass, god was on drums. Get with the programme.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 19:36 | 1293843 johny2
Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:48 | 1292404 Magnix
Magnix's picture

Jesus is the son of God.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:56 | 1292435 theopco
theopco's picture

so is He a different God?

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:23 | 1292569 Stormdancer
Stormdancer's picture

Naww......same One.  Just looks different depending on which dimension you're viewing Him from.  He's still one being, just multidimensional.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:43 | 1292656 BigJim
BigJim's picture

This was considered one of those Beautiful Mysteries that help us deepen our faith in God: the mystery of the Holy Trinity.

Is He one? Or is He three? No! He's both at the same time.

Think of it as the indivisible Oneness of the Threeness.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:24 | 1292555 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Wow... could it be a whole blown hash-out of the Holy Trinity?? Here at the Hedge??

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 18:52 | 1293743 pan-the-ist
pan-the-ist's picture

...I don't think he is equipped with the weapons to fight this particular war.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:38 | 1292629 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

I thought she was a bunch of baseball players from the Caribbean?  I love this sight!   The religiobigot squad really knows how to come out and show how they hate everyone but their mirror. Since we typically stick to science, lets have some evidence on that religion crap eh!   thought not.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:43 | 1292383 InconvenientCou...
InconvenientCounterParty's picture

God? Is that you?

I have some questions about the great white jesus I've been seeing representations of my whole life.

I think it might be skewing people's ideas about who is allowed to go to heaven.

Can you let me know who in the complaint department I should speak with about that?

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:06 | 1292183 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

So are bill gates, steve jobs and all the other bozo's moved into iron mountain yet?

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:11 | 1292215 Creed
Creed's picture

No, only God knows..... not even Jesus

bingo, and thanks

it sounds like you understand what was meant when the woman called Jesus Christ "good master" and he said "there is no one good but God"

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:20 | 1292258 Magnix
Magnix's picture

Jesus is the son of God.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:32 | 1292308 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

Jesus is the sun of God.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:22 | 1292270 Hephasteus
Hephasteus's picture

Ya it meant he was setting up his strawman. Jesus Inc. LLC.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:23 | 1292279 Magnix
Magnix's picture

Jesus is the son of God.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:53 | 1292716 weinerdog43
weinerdog43's picture

Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick.  We get it already.  Jesus!

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:20 | 1292284 Magnix
Magnix's picture

Jesus is the son of God.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:37 | 1292330 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

9th Rule of Fight Club:
Newbies have to STFU and read their first 26 weeks...

You must honor an elder like Hephasteus...

Magnix, my 6 week child...

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:16 | 1292515 schizo321437
schizo321437's picture

13:37ist

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:54 | 1292724 Korrath
Korrath's picture

Jesus built my car.  

It's a love affair...mainly Jesus and my hotrod.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lspjLG9nHXk

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 23:16 | 1294427 Confused
Confused's picture

Bringing me back. Thanks. 

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:11 | 1292197 Ecoman11
Ecoman11's picture

This event is just a "test-test, testing one-two" for when the system breaks down. Another public survey.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:09 | 1292202 Bob Sacamano
Bob Sacamano's picture

It must be a really slow news day to post this garbage......

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:12 | 1292204 jus_lite_reading
jus_lite_reading's picture

LMAO... very clever... you guys should work for Hollywood.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:10 | 1292211 HamyWanger
HamyWanger's picture

Another proof of the bigotry of ZeroHedge readers. 

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:43 | 1292371 scratch_and_sniff
scratch_and_sniff's picture

If you equate bigotry with a low threshold for horseshit, i suppose it is proof.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:42 | 1292664 BigJim
BigJim's picture

C'mon, Hamy! You can do better than that!

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 16:05 | 1293034 gwar5
gwar5's picture

Sorry, but the HW thing is getting a little tedious. Not your fault, gimmicks just tend to go stale pretty quick. Get some balls and jazz it up a little....

Example: Announce that you're doing your duty and going to burn a pile of Qurans at your house next week, and post your address. Videotape the ensuing hilarity. Report back to ZH with funny uploads right away.

(p.s. no, I didn't junk you.)

 

 

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 19:32 | 1293833 long-shorty
long-shorty's picture

you still got it, Hamy. don't let the haters get you down.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:13 | 1292212 cheesewizz
cheesewizz's picture

 To funny, I like the part were we are smoked up by our leaders.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:42 | 1292377 schizo321437
schizo321437's picture

join cult = joint cull

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 15:13 | 1292800 JW n FL
Thu, 05/19/2011 - 15:52 | 1292972 schizo321437
schizo321437's picture

and so, it began...

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:14 | 1292219 Cocomaan
Cocomaan's picture

This could be their best video yet. I'm not sure what's more hilarious: the aliens or Hitler in heaven.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:15 | 1292223 Gubbmint Cheese
Gubbmint Cheese's picture

Umm.. did I see that correctly? Hilter AND Michael Jackson up in heaven?

 

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:13 | 1292230 steve from virginia
steve from virginia's picture

 

It's clear what pushed Dominique Strauss-Kahn over the edge.

"Only a few days left ..."

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:13 | 1292232 steve from virginia
steve from virginia's picture

 

It's clear what pushed Dominique Strauss-Kahn over the edge.

"Only a few days left ..."

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:16 | 1292234 SilverDoctors
SilverDoctors's picture

Sad thing is..this group's followers have all quit their jobs to go around warning the world that the judgement is this weekend.  What will these people be left with after this weekend passes and there's no apocolapse?  The Doc has actually had these people come around to his house warning him about this.  Craziness.

http://www.silverdoctors.com/

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:25 | 1292295 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

you need a guard gate!

and a club house..

a golf course..

and deep water access!

strippers..

I could go on and on.. but I will stop there!

see ya'll Saturday at the after party, here! I wanna Loot ZeroHedge becuase if ayone is being scooped up! it will be Tyler for telling the truth! Tyler dont forget to leave Marla the passwords so the evil ZeroHedge can Continue on after you leave!

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:29 | 1292326 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

is this counted in the bls numbers...does it mess up there birth/death model...is this considered seasonal?????

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 16:46 | 1293220 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

we would have to average the persons missing with job openings.. with the new suicide rates..

 

I am sure we could milk it for a positive.. its us man! we can make anything look good on paper! LMFAO!!!

 

If we could only leverage it into a annual event then we could forecast job opening for the next 50 years.. wow, we all could have paper jobs by the end of next week!!!

 

Bro! You are FANTASTIC!

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:13 | 1292235 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

The world is going to end in less than two days? Well, that's a weight off my mind.
Signed,
Ghod, Allah, and Jehovah (not necessarily in that order)

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:17 | 1292240 plocequ1
plocequ1's picture

Does this mean i shouldn't plant my Alex Jones seeds?

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:23 | 1292259 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

Does this mean I shouldn't plant my Marc Emery seeds?

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:34 | 1292333 theopco
theopco's picture

does this mean I shouldn't plant my CHS seeds?

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:15 | 1292243 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

New highs for AXP and COF.  Those stocks are definitely not pricing in the "End of the World".

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:15 | 1292244 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

But of that day and [that] hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father.

Mark 13:32

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:19 | 1292269 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

Apparently Mark wasn't familiar with the Patriot Act. 

We tapped the phones without a warrant, se we know.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:19 | 1292250 steve from virginia
steve from virginia's picture

 

It's clear what pushed Dominique Strauss-Kahn over the edge.

"Only a few days left ..."

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:19 | 1292252 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

But of that day and [that] hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father.

Mark 13:32

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:17 | 1292256 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Why were Slash and Hitler in Heaven during the rapture scene?

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:53 | 1292697 schizo321437
schizo321437's picture

No Child Left Behind...

 

ha, that is so much worse.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:22 | 1292266 Fantasy Planet
Fantasy Planet's picture

I've been pitching this recent "end of the world is here" msg to numerous women, and we should therefore drop laundry and comfort each other, but no luck. 

Oh well, I'll just wait for the next doomsday and try again. 

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:19 | 1292272 monopoly
monopoly's picture

Luv it Tyler. Wonder if the Bernank has a direct link to this?

LNKD> What a short at 120. If only.......

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:22 | 1292276 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

Everybody forgets Camping predicted Armageddon and Judgement Day in 1994...

His "Christian" radio station just needs ratings, money and love...

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:23 | 1292285 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

Hahahaaa here is some pointers from somegreybloke.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmX-lZOYcVA

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:23 | 1292286 zaknick
zaknick's picture

Man, ZH has hit peak trolls! Sean Corrigan's piece was radioactive! They di not want you to hear the truth. There IS a war for your mind, fools. The banksters learned a long time ago that full fascist frontal attack against an aware population is a losing proposition.

By way of deception, bitches!

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 14:06 | 1292477 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Radioactive indeed! At first, I was quite surprised at the reception Corrigan's article got, until I realized it was all due to his style of writing in regards to peak oil (and anyone who might believe in it).

Instead of helping to persuade anyone, all he did was to reinforce their existing biases. For the rest of us, it was preaching to the choir. Let's just say he fails when it comes to winning friends and influencing enemies. Even though I agreed with every fact he stated, as well as his conclusions, his delivery managed to give a black eye to Austrian Economics in the eyes of his dissenters.

I've noticed that he likes to participate in name-calling. Hell, he's even called me a "monetary crank" before in an email exchange concerning Antal Fekete's writings on Adam Smith's "Real Bills Doctrine." Next, he even had the nerve to write another article demonstrating his victim-complex due to all of us "cranks" who mercilessly "attacked" him. (all I did was to attack his incoherent ideas, that he refused to address)

He is obviously a very intelligent man, and I find his content compelling. Problem is, he's got an ego standing in his way. For a while after the victim article, I wanted to meet him and slap the smirk off of his face. Now, I just feel sorry for him, and his inability to communicate across boundaries. His main value lies in tossing out red meat to his teammates, an exercise of severely limited value, as evidenced by his ZH welcome.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:23 | 1292296 I_Rowboat
I_Rowboat's picture

Shall we assume that the zombie-Saviour will be a no-show yet again?

 

The dude's dead and is staying dead for good, just like all his other Bronze Age crackpot contemporaries. 

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:23 | 1292298 boiltherich
boiltherich's picture

CHRISTIAN BROADCASTER: Gays to blame for May 21 doomsdayhttp://www.towleroad.com/2011/05/watch-leader-of-may-21-end-of-the-world-movement-blames-gays.html

That old fart is essentially blaming this on Ru Paul and Gene Simmons.  You would think that the religious nut bags would come up with SOMETHING original every few centuries wouldn't you?  How any adult can look you in the eye and claim to be Xtian with all the potty bullshit artists running the religion sideshow and keep a straight face is way beyond me. 

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:25 | 1292302 scratch_and_sniff
scratch_and_sniff's picture

There is only ever two things to worry about in life;

Are you sick, or are you healthy?

If you are healthy, then everything’s going to be fine.

If you are sick, there are still only two things to worry about; will you live or will you die?

If you live then everything’s fine.

If you’re going to die then there is still only two things to worry about; are you going to heaven or going to hell?

If you are going to heaven then everything’s fine, and if youre going to hell there is still nothing to worry about, because you’re in good company.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:30 | 1292305 AldoHux_IV
AldoHux_IV's picture

Hahaha, well done.  I like the part where it seems like this whole rapture thing is like we all hold hands and buy cars-- that'll stimulate the economy.  Maybe the good reverend/broadcaster actually works for the fed.

I myself plan to be at the Sofitel in LA hoping to find my own special maid-- unless of course those Christians are right in which case I hope the soul patched JC can forgive me for my transgressions on this day of days.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:28 | 1292307 fuu
fuu's picture

If we read this does it make us death worshippers?

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 15:04 | 1292778 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Only if you want it to happen, and you abandon all other possibilities.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 16:08 | 1293037 fuu
fuu's picture

Right on just checking.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:26 | 1292312 monopoly
monopoly's picture

DJN:

Dudley,Fed will exit current policy in a timely way.

 

Right, like 2014 or sooner, when it all blows up. Cannot make this shit up.

Anybody find a day job for Robot yet? Pleeaseee.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:26 | 1292313 faustian bargain
faustian bargain's picture

This is bullish for equities.

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:37 | 1292352 baby_BLYTHE
baby_BLYTHE's picture

you literally can't make this shit up.

All the bad news in the world yet the market SCREAMS higher!

Time for some Cannibal Corpse:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqTeGt6ZHQs

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 13:47 | 1292390 Abitdodgie
Abitdodgie's picture

They have that hair thing going on.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!