The Animated Federal Reserve For Dummies (Literally)

Tyler Durden's picture

From the bears who explained Quantitative Easing, we now get a crash test dummy simplifying the Federal Reserve's current outlook on life, the universe and everything, courtesy of yesterday's press conference. All confusion abandon ye who enter.

Courtesy of Omid Malekan

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azengrcat's picture

Tornados and floods in the south is positive for GDP just like Japan.  

rocker's picture

So China needs some disaster and all is well.  Can we buy stock in Alabama? I know Halliburton. They fix everything on the cheap.

flacon's picture

I think WAR is the best idea. Spend our silver on cruise missiles. Blow shit up and then employ BILLIONS of the survivors to pick shit up! Instant stimulus. God, I can't wait until we are all rolling in wealth created out of destruction. And the cherry on top is that it's just so damn easy to create wealth. There hasn't been a good war since WWII - and that's why our economy is suffering. Time to kill! 

dlmaniac's picture

Don't worry we can always raise the margin request to fight commodity surge. We've just raised the margin on silver for the ... uh... uh ... how many times is that? I lose count already. Hmmm, what's the definition of insanity again?

Well never mind. Summer of recovery 2.0 is straight ahead so cheer up.

uhb's picture

...and the best thing is we could get rid of france in the process!!!

A Nanny Moose's picture

Well, that might wipe out some excess capacity. Worked for us in/after WWII

duo's picture

It does seem that as the death toll increased, the SPX rose.  Sick.

Zero Govt's picture

yes but running 3 soon 4 or 5 wars i think like QE's 1, 2 and 3 the "wealth effect" of war is starting to wear off... gets a little weary all this murder, mayhem, breaking international laws after a while ...all for a good cause of course insisting Western crony banking puppet "democratic Govts" are installed at the end of a barrel of a gun, F16, warship and attack drone

Hell look at our Banksters Banana Republics, sorry Western democracies, who'd not want to become a student, mortgage, credit card, loan booked bankers debt slave 'Living the Dream' right?

New_Meat's picture

lotsa' broken windowz, poor bastards.

zaknick's picture

The Four Horsemen have interlocking directorates with the international mega-banks.  Exxon Mobil shares board members with JP Morgan Chase, Citigroup, Deutsche Bank, Royal Bank of Canada and Prudential.  Chevron Texaco has interlocks with Bank of America and JP Morgan Chase.  BP Amoco shares directors with JP Morgan Chase.  RD/Shell has ties with Citigroup, JP Morgan Chase, N. M. Rothschild & Sons and Bank of England.

Former Citibank chairman Walter Shipley sat on Exxon Mobil’s board, as did Wayne Calloway of Citigroup and Allen Murray of JP Morgan Chase.  Willard Butcher of Chase sat on the board of Chevron Texaco.  Former Fed chairman Alan Greenspan came from Morgan Guaranty Trust and served on the board of Mobil.  BP Amoco director Lewis Preston went on to become president of the World Bank. 

Other BP Amoco directors have included Sir Eric Drake, the #2 man at the world’s largest port operator P&O Nedlloyd and a director at Hudson Bay Company and Kleinwort Benson.  William Johnston Keswick, whose family controls Hong Kong powerhouse Jardine Matheson, also sat on the board of BP Amoco.  Keswick’s son is a director at HSBC.  The Hong Kong connection is even stronger at Royal Dutch/Shell.

Lord Armstrong of Ilminster sat on the boards of Royal Dutch/Shell, N. M. Rothschild & Sons, Rio Tinto and Inchcape.  Cathay Pacific Airlines owner and HSBC insider Sir John Swire was a director at Shell, as was Sir Peter Orr, who joins Armstrong on Inchape’s board.  Shell director Sir Peter Baxendell joins Armstrong on the board of Rio Tinto, while Shell’s Sir Robert Clark sits on the board of the Bank of England.

As a result of the deregulation craze in the US companies no longer have to report their top shareholders to the SEC.  According to 1993 10K reports filed by the Four Horsemen, the Rothschild, Rockefeller and Warburg banking combines still control Big Oil.  The Rockefellers exert control through New York mega-banks and Banker’s Trust, which in 1999 was purchased by Warburg-controlled Deutsche Bank in its bid to become the largest bank in the world. 

As of 1993 Banker’s Trust was #1 shareholder in Exxon.  Chemical Bank was #4 and J.P. Morgan was #5.  Both are now part of JP Morgan Chase.  Banker’s Trust was also leading shareholder at Mobil.  BP listed Morgan Guaranty as its biggest owner in 1993, while Amoco listed Banker’s Trust as its #2 shareholder.  Chevron listed Banker’s Trust as its #5 shareholder, while Texaco listed J.P. Morgan as its #4 owner and Banker’s Trust as #9. 

Thus, Deutsche Bank and JP Morgan Chase – the banks of Warburg and Rockefeller – have increased shares in Exxon Mobil, BP Amoco and Chevron Texaco.  Rothschild-controlled Bank of America and Wells Fargo exert West Coast control over Big Oil, while Mellon Bank also remains a big player.  Wells Fargo and Mellon Bank were both top 10 shareholders of Exxon Mobil, Chevron Texaco and BP Amoco as of 1993.

Information on Royal Dutch/Shell is even harder to obtain since they are registered in the UK and Hollandand are not required to file 10K reports.  It is 60% owned by Royal Dutch Petroleum of Holland and 40% owned by Shell Trading & Transport of the UK.  The company has only 14,000 stockholders and few directors.  The consensus from researchers is that Royal Dutch/Shell is still controlled by the Rothschild, Oppenheimer, Nobel and Samuel families along with the British House of Windsor and the Dutch House of Orange. 

Queen Beatrix of the Dutch House of Orangeand Lord Victor Rothschild are the two largest shareholders.  Queen Beatix’ mother Juliana was once the richest woman in the world and a patroness of the right-wing occult movement.  Prince Bernhard, who married Juliana in 1937, was a member of the Hitler Youth Movement, the Nazi SS and an employee of Nazi combine I.G. Farben.  He sits on the boards of over 300 European companies and founded the Bilderbergers.

When you’re being robbed, it’s always a good idea to be able to identify the perp.  Now if only we could get the cops to bring em’ in…

Conrad Murray's picture

Give this site a view to see many, many more connections of the powerful:

Chuck Walla's picture

And the Bernank is the bastard mutant child of all this incest.

i-dog's picture

The Bernank is not a relative, just an employee. He can---and will---be replaced at the appropriate time.

@zaknik: Great job! Would be nice to see a similar rundown of pharmaceutical ownership ... most of the same names will again appear. Ownership at the very top of the oligarchy is very concentrated and represents untold wealth and power that Gates and Buffett only dream of.

rufusbird's picture

It is late, and it could be that last glass of wine, but I thought you wrote 'Bernie'...really! I had to do a double take..

hambone's picture

Fake money created by the few, for the few, at the push of a button as a liability for the many.  The governments debts are forced usury so everyone (those unable to find a loophole) owes principle and interest on this fake money.  And worst of all the Fed has the ability to destroy any currency competitors (read RE, PM's, commodities)...all seem gunned up and then whacked down as needed to maintain the primacy of the fiat, the centrality of the lender.  If not the dollar then some other new fiat at the control of a few as a liability to the many.

Not enjoying my thoughts but willing to play out my hand on PM's to see if we really can create a "sound money" competitor but not overly hopeful.

Any historical precedent for a re-emergence of financial freedom, sound money, rebirth of Republic absent terrible violence?

Diogenes's picture

Six degrees of frigging crooks.

Blanche DuBois's picture

I LOVE this f@?&ing website!
We got some smart bitchez here!

palmereldritch's picture

You mean the largest shareholders of Big Oil are also the largest shareholders of the global private central banks whose Nazi chump fiat currency is denominated in said petro widgets?!!

B..b..b.b but Peak Oil?

BlackChicken's picture

That is no dummy, it is the Bernank replacement.

The only dummies are us, for accepting this private company that is not Federal, has no reserves, and is not a bank.  What a fracking nightmare...

WeekendAtBernankes's picture

The only thing more monstrous would be a central bank under direct control of the government.  Turbo Timmy?  Congress?  ::shudders:

BlackChicken's picture

I would have to disagree with you on the more monstrous part only; the fact that people do not realize that the Constitution specifically states that only gold and silver are "money."  If this was widely known, we would not be in this mess.

In short, the only monster is really ignorance (mixed with good propaganda and fear).

GoinFawr's picture

Love the `Hitchhiker`s Guide...` ref.

chubbar's picture

OT but here's a little tidbit on Obama's release of his birth certificate yesterday from


The release of the (pick your terms here) purported, alleged, so-called, yada, yada) birth certificate by the White House has turned into a major boner.  I mean, this one puts Viagra to shame kind.


Here's a hint at why:  The Smoking Gun's article is a good start "Will Release of Obama's Purported Birth Certificate Give Rise to New (birth) "Certer" Movement?"


Up until now, I had blown off most of the 'birther stuff' since Obama is the nominal president and ain't no removing him, since the PTB run the country away, despite representations contrary wise.  We learned that with the Big Bank Free Money Festival on the Potomac.


But that was until a reader - we'll call him "Joe" -  sent me this amazing email which includes (gasp!) source documentation on some serious inconsistencies:

"As you all know, Donald Trump made a big deal about Obama's birth certificate. As of yesterday, the White House released the birth certificate.

I will tell you right now that I had never given this "birther" issue any credit. I watched the hype and the crazies come out. I completely dismissed the entire ordeal altogether. In fact, it was not until the White House released the birth certificate that it had gained my attention.

I am the studious sort of guy, and I have plenty of time on my hands. So, I took a close look at this document. While I would have thought that this issue would have been closed for good (and, got the crazies to crawl back into their holes), I found two extremely strange inconsistencies that merit some attention.

First of all, the birth certificate that the White House released lists Obama's birth as August 4, 1961. It also lists Barack Hussein Obama as his father. No big deal, right? At the time of Obama's birth, it also shows that his father is aged 25 years old, and that Obama's father was born in "Kenya, East Africa". This wouldn't seem like anything of concern, except the fact that Kenya did not even exist until 1963, two whole years after Obama's birth, and 27 years after his father's birth. How could have Obama's father have been born in a country that did not yet exist? Up and until Kenya was formed in 1963, it was known as the "British East Africa Protectorate". But, this is not the only thing that I found that just does not jive.

The other item that I looked into was the hospital that Obama was born in. On the birth certificate released by the White House, the listed place of birth is "Kapi'olani Maternity & Gynecological Hospital". This cannot be, because the hospital(s) in question in 1961 were called "KauiKeolani Children's Hospital" and "Kapi'olani Maternity Home", respectively. The name did not change to Kapi'olani Maternity & Gynecological Hospital until 1978, when these two hospitals merged. How can this particular name of the hospital be on a birth certificate dated 1961 if this name had not yet been applied to it until 1978?

Go ahead, look it up. I am not talking crazy talk, these are the facts. Like I said, I thought that this was a non-issue until the actual certificate was released. Now that it has been released, of course I had to look into it. I have found these issues, now I know that something is up. If you doubt me, just look at the following resources:

Sure as hell, the hospital part is true, as you can read about the 1978 merger here.


The discussion about the East Africa Protectorate is less decisive, however.  Still, Keyna didn't gain independence until 1963, be preceded in independence by Tanganyika which became Tanzania, Uganda, and then Kenya.  Whether it would have been referred to in Hawaii as the Kenya Colony of Great Britain, however is an interesting discussion, for sure.


Don't mean to throw gas on the debate here, but our reader makes some disturbing points.  When coupled with the report on Death by 1,000 Papercuts that "Obama Birth Certificate: Adobe Illustrator Reveals Different Layers" well, things to be not look as sold... Still, we're just offering cites which is what research if for, after all.  Might try firing up Illustrator if you have it and see if it auto-generates layers, though...


But the hospital merger?  That one bothers me.  Be interesting to see if other birth certs from that period show the same name, huh?  I know a TV engineer out in the Islands who might know some folks up in the newsroom who could pull a few to check.  Make an SDX or Pulitzer, I reckon.  You on this? Email me the link to the story when it airs is all I ask...


And if it doesn't prove out, I'd be pleased to put this all to bed...again."


Jasper M's picture

That's . . . actually, pretty interesting stuff. Good for you for fishing that up for us.

I agree with you analysis re almost everything. 

rich_wicks's picture

Except that the East Africa Protectorate ended in 1920 and it was called Kenya during it's entire colonial period.

You know people, there is this website called Wikipedia you can make use of..

Bitch Tits's picture

Seriously. If you don't trust Wikipedia, surely you can find another valid source which will tell you Kenya has been around since before the 8th century.

If something sparks a question in your mind, I don't understand why you wouldn't do the research to get at the truth? Just lazy or is there another agenda perhaps?

That Peak Oil Guy's picture

This birth cert from the same hospital just a day later has the same hospital name:


Hephasteus's picture

Yep those crazy birthers.

They were right.

And me. Well Intel is actually fraudulantly enroning most of it's profits and record sales.

And the jews actually are going to try to burn you in ovens and claim you were jews and ethnically cleansed.

BTW my name is Jonathan and I have a circumcised penis. I'll be counted as a jew. But I won't be getting any of the reparations money for being burned.

ejhickey's picture

I followed the link.  It says the hospital changed its name in 1978, not 1931

Chuck Walla's picture

Gee-Zus, interesting as this all is, if we can't defeat that clown by people reading their grocery bills while filling their gas tanks, then nothing can beat him.

WeekendAtBernankes's picture

I think you bring up some interesting points here.  I did a little fact checking and I see that Wikipedia claims that the Kapi'olani Hospital changed its name to Kapi'olani Maternity & Gynecological Hospital in 1931.

OldTrooper's picture

I kept expecting the dummy to give the Bernank the finger!  Very disappointing!

hambone's picture

Where are our cute, cuddly, colorful bears off to???  glad to have a little insight bout now?

slewie the pi-rat's picture

cuddly this: DJ Comex Gold And Silver Warehouse Stocks-Apr 28

then this:  DJ Comex Gold Delivery Intentions Breakdown - Apr 28

hmmmmm...?  coffee & donuts? 

can we get some electronic warrants over here, please?

we need them b4 we end up with electronic ankle bracelets...

hambone's picture

Slewie da pie-rat,

would you be so good as to offer an education on what we are looking at?  More ponzi-rific games in the Comex?


Rainman's picture

GE Jeff gots no time for his GE Capital masters at the NY FED. The boyz are now looking all the Agent Smiths.

StychoKiller's picture

Guess if anyone would know about Agent Smiths, it would be you! :>D

michigan independant's picture

We just found our viable candidate. No straw men need apply.

cpnscarlet's picture

Hasn't anyone asked the obvious question about the birth "certificate"...Where's the f**king state/county SEAL????? Just because it's on green "official" paper means nothing.

And the next obvious question...Are any of the people who signed it still alive??? Wouldn't it be terribly convenient if they were ALL dead? Sure...very old...but ALL dead???  The doctor has definitely been reported as deceased and his family is surprised by seeing his name on the report.

Personally, I still believe he was born in Kenya. Leftists lie freely and Marxists even more so.  He qualifies for both.

StychoKiller's picture

My birth certificate (CO-1957) did not have seal, embossed or otherwise.  Whoa, maybe I could run for President! :>D

Bitch Tits's picture

Who gives a shit? It doesn't even frackin' matter, for shit sake. It's a global ponzi world and I think we can all agree that it's never been a fair world. Where this dude was born is so beside the point, it's a ridiculous waste of intelligence and time to even entertain the thought.

SunBlaster's picture

So if the Obummer wasn't born in Hawaii, WHERE DA FAK WAS HE BORN ?

StychoKiller's picture

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.

Bitch Tits's picture

Birthers are one of two things: gullible or deliberate in their agenda.

jerry_theking_lawler's picture

i am by no means an Obama supporter or 'birther' but the info about the Kapiolani Hospital may be incorrect (cited correctly but not the whole picture). from Wiki

read the history yourself. check all references for 'fact'.

don't like him or his team, think there is still something FISHY with his birth certificate, but just wanted to share some more facts.