The Annotated 3rd Edition Goldman Apologist Release

Courtesy of William Banzai

Once upon a time investment bankers were supposed to facilitate capital formation for exciting new businesses. They were trusted advisors looking out for the interests of their investor clients, chaparoning to capital to efficient purposes.

How quant...(pun intended)

Now Wall Street has metastasized into a cesspool of predatory "financial intermediaries" like Goldman, who help predatory financiers like Paulson and Magnatar target suckers and fools in “private placements” of synthetic CDOs to sophisticated idiots. You know suckers and fools like AIG and your pension.

Lets face it, pension funds and insurance companies are all managed by suckers and fools in the age of synthetic CDOS. You know, those facinating quatitative marvels that aren’t even understood by the CEOs of the banks that created them.

This is what happens when regulation gets diluted and polluted and cheap money sloshes around in Greenspans Land of 0. People have plenty of funny money to throw at these kinds of bets and irreputable banks like Goldman are more than happy to intermediate the all the fun!

Comments

[chumbawamba]

Give them the Chair! The Chair!!

I am Chumbawamba.

[RockyRacoon]

That's too civil.  I say we hang 'em high.

[williambanzai7]

SUBPRIME BLANKENSTEIN:

http://williambanzai7.blogspot.com/2010/04/subprime-blankenfein.html

[Ned Zeppelin]

Alas, if only the "extensive" disclosure had been "complete" disclosure.

[SWRichmond]

Disclosure?  How about cougarlife models disclosing how much of their ex's money they spent on those plastic boobs?  About as likely as GS or C disclosing a Wells notice.  Meanwhile, Jamie Dimon attempts to prove that the best defense is a good offense, and comes off as...offensive.

Another interesting disclosure was who at Goldman was fucking who at ACA.  Well, at least they apparently lived in the same house.

[sheeple]

Lets face it, pension funds and insurance companies are all managed by suckers and fools in the age of synthetic CDOS.

These are the fucking idiots that handles your retirement money, superstar lemmings... these folks have to take on responsibilities as well

[Hephasteus]

It's ok. They are the good kind of screw ups. They make it possible for the banks to tap the taxpayers more and more which is the greater fool in every scenario.

I'll be the dumb bank for my taxpayers today if you'll be the dumb bank for your taxpayers next tuesday.

[primefool]

Sheeple +1
I think there should be pressure brought to bear on the real gatekeepers of the money - pension managers etc. They are by and large fat, dumb and underequipped. We need the sharks working for us - not on the sell side.
Just compare random resumes of say a pension fund manager and a Squid banker. It will tell the tale - the pension guys dont stand a chance mano-a-mano. This needs to change. Then the poorly designed , toxic products will automatically go away.

[williambanzai7]

GOLDMAN'S DEFENSE:

Here is Goldman's response to the SEC last September (sourced from FT Alphaville). Note that they are refered to as an underwriter, not a market maker.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/30188948/Goldman-Defence-Doc-Part-I-Source-FT-...

[tip e. canoe]

brilliantly banzai!