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With Apple Representing A 20% Weighting In The Nasdaq, Steve Jobs Better Pick His Words Well Or Flash Crash 2 Is Here

Tyler Durden's picture




 

A chart from Bespoke Investment Group demonstrates why Steve Jobs better pick his word very, very carefully. As AAPL accounts for a 20.1% weight in the Nasdaq, and is an HFT darling, as well as having every analyst on Wall Street loving it, should this stock tumble, we expect an 80 point ES drop in the market by EOD.

 

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Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:15 | 473778 scratch_and_sniff
scratch_and_sniff's picture

Jesus, hope not, i have just spent the last 30 mins loading up on all sorts.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:34 | 473840 scratch_and_sniff
scratch_and_sniff's picture

HOLD ON...EVERY ONE GETS A FREE CASE BUY BUY BUY!!!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:31 | 474039 MarketTruth
MarketTruth's picture

The free case was the cheapest and WORST 'solution' Apple could offer. This is typical of Apple, because if you have ever dealt with them on a middle to higher level you realize they could care less about their customers and only care about profit and what is in their their best interest. Apple's treatment of where they source their products speaks volumes and notice they could care less about the suicides or what workers get paid or how they are treated.

Typical Apple, i expected exactly what they did (do the cheapest thing possible and not properly fix their product with a simply recall in-store antenna fix). Believe me, the more you really know about Apple the company, the more you wake up to their evil doing selfishness.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 15:50 | 474292 rapidsingleflux
rapidsingleflux's picture

Since when is mitigating a problem with a low cost alternative evil?

Why is it expected that apple should behave differently from other corporations?

It's nothing but blind fanboyism to expect apple to go against their own interests. A recall would be terrible for profits and shareholders. The bumper works and the customers will accept it as a solution. The return rate of the phone speaks for itself. At a paltry 1.7% I would say the customers are extremely satisfied with the phone. The 3gs had a return rate of 6%. Let the numbers do the talking. This solution will probably appease most of their customers concerns.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 16:19 | 474337 MarketTruth
MarketTruth's picture

So why not FIX the phones and not use a band-aid (case) for those who feel their device is defective due to bad design? Sure the case is a fast and easy gimme, but many expect more from Apple who claims to be a customer caring company. Agree companies want to save money, yet Apple really blew this one and it was their first real implosion. The relatively small cost of providing a real solution would have paid dividends in the future. Now Apple customers know what to expect when the company releases a defective product. It is bad enough you can not change SIMS easily, can not change the battery easily, can not add a memory card for ease of transferring data and achieving more storage space and so on like other phones.

HTC, Nokia, Samsung, etc may gain some nice marketshare thanks to Apple's lack of custmer service.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 16:28 | 474377 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

Have you talked to any IPhone 4 users??  I have.  All said they love their phone.  One person said their phone works better with a cover on it.  98% of the end users are happy with their phones.  That is what phucking matters.  Not your sidewalk superintendent opinion on what the company should do.  The market doesn't think it is a big deal either.  

 

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 18:15 | 474594 MarketTruth
MarketTruth's picture

Wow, this is not good for Apple

www.bloomberg.com/news/2010-07-15/apple-engineer-said-to-have-told-jobs-last-year-about-iphone-antenna-flaw.html

Apple Inc.’s senior antenna expert voiced concern to Chief Executive Officer Steve Jobs in the early design phase of the iPhone 4 that the antenna design could lead to dropped calls, a person familiar with the matter said.

Last year, Ruben Caballero, a senior engineer and antenna expert, informed Apple’s management the device’s design may hurt reception, said the person, who is not authorized to speak on Apple’s behalf and asked not to be identified. A carrier partner also raised concerns about the antenna before the device’s June 24 release, according to another person familiar with the situation.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 16:33 | 474387 rapidsingleflux
rapidsingleflux's picture

I do agree that would be the customer friendly option, but apple knows its customers are easily swayed by keen marketing tactics and that's what the conference today was all about. Convincing the customers that apple is not at fault. It happens to "all" phones. Many of them will buy into it. Those that don't will most likely switch. Apple does have the take it or leave it mentality after all.

A recall would not be a low cost solution. It would require a full engineering redesign and extensive modification to existing phones. It would not be a small task. One has to question how this got through QA so easily.

And yes this will probably push some more users to android. I consider that a good thing. Competition is good for apple and good for the phone market as a whole. Apple got complacent being the #1 phone and this is what happens when companies are too confident. They release shoddy products. They will respond real quick when they see their market share dropping.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 18:20 | 474602 MarketTruth
MarketTruth's picture

I do agree that would be the customer friendly option, but apple knows its customers are easily swayed by keen marketing tactics and that's what the conference today was all about.

So treat your customers like idiots. Brilliant! Of course Goldman Sachs does the same to many...

 

Convincing the customers that apple is not at fault. It happens to "all" phones. Many of them will buy into it. T

Hey, everyone is doing it in the market nowadays. So perhaps tell a small, kinda, you know, fib like Goldman Sachs does?

i see there is a pattern forming. Seriously, Apple blew it and is now cheating their customers from offering an in warranty mechanical/electrical fix. Bad form and sets an example for possible future problems with Apple hardware devices.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:52 | 473920 Tarheel
Tarheel's picture

Jobs is a fuckin marketing genius. A short run in manufacturing the Iphone 4 was a win win since they now need to modify the design (not to mention the furor it caused when they stopped taking pre-orders).

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:36 | 474058 Johnny Bravo
Johnny Bravo's picture

Who would have thought that a guy that dresses like a Star Trek villain and never changes his clothes would have fanboys lined up around the block to blow him?

I just don't understand.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:41 | 474069 Ripped Chunk
Ripped Chunk's picture

+ 1000

 

good one

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 15:04 | 474134 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

I used to think most of the ZeroHedge readers just hated corrupt thieving assholes a la Goldman Sachs, now I think a bunch of people on here just resent people who are successful.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 15:15 | 474174 Ripped Chunk
Ripped Chunk's picture

Yea, you see right through it all. I myself strive to sell a product with a 30%+_ failure rate where the warranty replacements don't even make a dent in my margin.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 15:26 | 474217 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

10% failure rate in first 2 years.  People that run over their phones are included in your number.  Everyone I know likes their IPhone.  That's why they sell so many.  I've had to replace my blackberry twice, so not uncommon for smart phones.

Sat, 07/17/2010 - 21:53 | 475667 Missing_Link
Missing_Link's picture

Agreed.  Apple is a solid company with several of the world's best products -- iPod, iPad, iPhone, and iTunes -- and doesn't deserve anywhere near the scorn it gets on ZH.

Mon, 07/19/2010 - 10:55 | 476879 Ripped Chunk
Ripped Chunk's picture

It's crap. Glad you are enjoying yours

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:15 | 473781 Turd Ferguson
Turd Ferguson's picture

Apple shitcan, bitchez!!!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:36 | 473842 Turd Ferguson
Turd Ferguson's picture

First of all, "fuck you" to whoever junked me above. ;)

Now, here's my question: Does it bother anyone that one stock makes up 20% of the "index"? Not only that, its one of the only companies in the index that is consistently growing earnings. Doesn't it seem that the NASDAQ is deliberately trying to create the appearance that all is well when they weight 20% into one, fast growing stock and underweight all of the other struggling tech stocks?

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:38 | 473853 suteibu
suteibu's picture

I'm with you on that.  That seems like the big news here and not what Jobs is going to say.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:43 | 473881 Turd Ferguson
Turd Ferguson's picture

And, if my math is right, #s 2-9 make up 24.6% of the "index".

Sooooo.....the top 10 components of the NASDAQ make up almost half of the "index".

Man, the BS is just everywhere. MOPE and SPIN as far as the eye can see.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:52 | 473921 B9K9
B9K9's picture

Pareto principle aka 80/20 rule; also where the term "long tail" comes from. You know, the long distribution of smaller entities (80% of the total) that comprise only 20% of total valuation/earnings.

Since we do everything bigger & better in America, we've taken the PP to new heights in terms of income distribution, so now our curve looks more like the 98/2 rule.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:53 | 473924 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

The BIG news is that for the first time since this stock started running in 2004, they fucked up. And they're gonna pay for it because that one crack is just like the first crack in ANY bubble. The denial and the justifications and all the other typical bullshit will start flying from every house on the Street that has a buy on this thing, which means every house on the Street, and they will all be trying to orchestrate a run-up so THEY can bail before all the greater fools do. This is gonna be funny as hell to watch.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:06 | 473966 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

You are right.  Credit is due.  I was expecting the gulf disaster to be a black swan event.  Turns out history will mark the iCase is market's pearl harbor.  I am being serious.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:11 | 473974 suteibu
suteibu's picture

I am being serious

 

Still...that's funny as hell.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:21 | 473980 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

Thanks... but don't worry, the black swans are going to be raining from the skies in droves before this disaster aka market breathes its last. Btw, did you happen to hear the terror in the voice of that conflicted "analyst" from some brokerage who was bulling AAPL to the crew on CNBS's "Front-Running Money" show at 12:30? The only one who wasn't there lapping it up was Joey Testosterone... he's probably too busy getting his shorts set up on Goldie... Oh, but wait, he said he was LONG that...

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:41 | 473864 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

First, yes...

Second, fast growing?  Apple is in a baubble..who will buy their stupid gadgets from here on out?  Not maxed out US consumers, not Chinese laborers, not Euro trashed bank bailers, not nobody.

Third, get your ass on the gold thread!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:44 | 473884 Turd Ferguson
Turd Ferguson's picture

OK, headed there now.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:12 | 473977 -1Delta
-1Delta's picture

baubble

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:45 | 473887 centerline
centerline's picture

And one that makes products that consumers really do not need.  Yeah, warm and fuzzy feelings all over regarding the stability of these markets!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:45 | 473889 centerline
centerline's picture

And one that makes products that consumers really do not need.  Yeah, warm and fuzzy feelings all over regarding the stability of these markets!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:45 | 473890 centerline
centerline's picture

And one that makes products that consumers really do not need.  Yeah, warm and fuzzy feelings all over regarding the stability of these markets!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:46 | 473892 centerline
centerline's picture

And one that makes products that consumers really do not need.  Yeah, warm and fuzzy feelings all over regarding the stability of these markets!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:48 | 473906 centerline
centerline's picture

oops to the multiple postings.  something went wrong over here.  anyone got a mop?  cleanup on aisle 4.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:51 | 473915 BurritoGas
BurritoGas's picture

LOL.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:57 | 473933 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

LOL

Looks like a man who's been denied sex for a year suddenly got....um....lucky? Next time pace yourself Dude.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:11 | 473971 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

I'll junk the above in a feeble attempt.  Not this one though, good for a laugh.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:22 | 474007 thesapein
thesapein's picture

lol

why are we all laughing so hard?

i dunno, but thanks for laugh!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:26 | 474027 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

It was the brillant recovery that saved the day.

oops to the multiple postings.  something went wrong over here.  anyone got a mop?  cleanup on aisle 4.

 

Inspired and humble. Nice, very nice.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 15:19 | 474196 thesapein
thesapein's picture

Yeah, I wrote that after reading the comedic recovery and laughed so long I forgot why. 

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:11 | 473972 -1Delta
-1Delta's picture

+1 Apple computers ok, but the stock can suck my cock

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:15 | 473986 Johnny Bravo
Johnny Bravo's picture

Their computers are just like their stocks.  Overhyped and overpriced.

"I just paid 2000 dollars for a notebook!  Now it has an INTEL processor!"

"Oh wow, you mean the same Intel processor in a 500 dollar PC?"

"Ummm... yeah, well, this one's different.  It has a shiny case and ummm... Safari.  Yeah."

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:36 | 474057 almost_have_a_name
almost_have_a_name's picture

They make their money by culling the software herd, only the strongest software survives on their platform. This entitles them a 'holier-than-thou' premium.

Open-source is catching up to Apple and MS. Google uses Linux everywhere. A few more years and Apple will be reduced to a brand name. They are the next Bell and Howell !

 

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 16:19 | 474351 ColonelCooper
ColonelCooper's picture

I bought an ACER computer to use in my pickup, because for the beating it takes, I just couldn't justify spending big money on it.  Did I mention this was in August '08?

Two years of running 8-12 hours a day, vibrating around on a console, extreme heat, punishing cold, powered by an inverter. 

When whatever mystery food from my lunch gets lodged under one of the keys, I just hit that key a lot really hard til it comes out of it.

I've never had so much as one hiccup from it.  (other than vista lockup)

Cost: $375 

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:12 | 473976 Johnny Bravo
Johnny Bravo's picture

What bothers me is that Apple has a higher market cap than Microsoft, which has more than three times the revenues AND profits that Apple does.  Not to mention cash and other assets, which Microsoft has tons and tons more of than Apple.

So why is Apple overhyped to the point it is?
Why does it trade at such a high premium (P/E) to a better and more reliable stock like MSFT?
Because of growth?
MSFT CAN'T grow because it already has the market cornered.  How you going to grow when you already have 90% of the OS market, all the Office software market, etc?

Apple's stock is just like it's products... overpriced to underperform.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:23 | 474013 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

Because of the growth numbers.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:35 | 474054 -1Delta
-1Delta's picture

look at the beta...

and those numbers were based on phones that... umm worked

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:15 | 473987 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

Now, here's my question: Does it bother anyone that one stock makes up 20% of the "index"? 

That one stock is 20% is lunacy.

Doesn't it seem that the NASDAQ is deliberately trying to create the appearance that all is well when they weight 20% into one, fast growing stock and underweight all of the other struggling tech stocks?

Hmmm. Looks that way.

 

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:28 | 474028 thesapein
thesapein's picture

You guys are all over it. It's awesome when ZH posts real news and even better when the posters grab that torch and shine the light in every corner.

If I'd never found this site, I'd totally be a hermit in the hills by now.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:46 | 474085 Ripped Chunk
Ripped Chunk's picture

These Apple device junkies are unlike any other life form you will ever encounter. Take it as a compliment.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 15:16 | 474181 Ripped Chunk
Ripped Chunk's picture

1

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:16 | 473783 CosmoJoe
CosmoJoe's picture

My money is on free bumper pads, with a promise to modify the design in future phones.

I doubt they will issue a recall.

I think the worse case scenerio is Jobs says Apple has "studied the data and found nothing conclusive to indicate an antenna problem".  Stock will crater.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:23 | 473803 black_furry_dog
black_furry_dog's picture

Umm... your assuming there is a problem with the iPhone 4 antenna. So far outside of a few videos on youtube, i haven't seen any and i know alot of people with them and have one myself. The 'death grip' in my opinion is nothing more than PR firms trying to boost sales of the new android phone.... good luck with that ;) 

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:33 | 473831 Popo
Popo's picture

Death grip?   It's not exactly difficult to verify you know.   Use one, and compare the signal to an old iPhone.  It's weak.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:37 | 473845 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

It's way past "reality" at this point. Everyone believes there's a problem.

The best thing Apple can do is admit there is a problem and promise a quick solution, like covers and modifications to future iPhones. The problem will quickly be relegated to the back burner. Jobs has plenty of political capital to burn. But he can't be stupid here and so far he's hasn't.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:56 | 473936 black_furry_dog
black_furry_dog's picture

Compared to the iPhone 3, i might agree.... haven't tested that, but its defiantly not the 'call dropper' that its being made out to be in the news. 

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:55 | 473932 Pheesh
Pheesh's picture

You claim it's nothing more than PR firms trying to boost sales of an android phone?  Talk about taking fanboyism to extremes.

 

"Consumer Reports' engineers have just completed testing the iPhone 4, and have confirmed that there is a problem with its reception. When your finger or hand touches a spot on the phone's lower left side—an easy thing, especially for lefties—the signal can significantly degrade enough to cause you to lose your connection altogether if you're in an area with a weak signal. Due to this problem, we can't recommend the iPhone 4.

We reached this conclusion after testing all three of our iPhone 4s (purchased at three separate retailers in the New York area) in the controlled environment of CU's radio frequency (RF) isolation chamber. In this room, which is impervious to outside radio signals, our test engineers connected the phones to our base-station emulator, a device that simulates carrier cell towers (see video: IPhone 4 Design Defect Confirmed). We also tested several other AT&T phones the same way, including the iPhone 3G S and the Palm Pre. None of those phones had the signal-loss problems of the iPhone 4.

Our findings call into question the recent claim by Apple that the iPhone 4's signal-strength issues were largely an optical illusion caused by faulty software that "mistakenly displays 2 more bars than it should for a given signal strength."

The tests also indicate that AT&T's network might not be the primary suspect in the iPhone 4's much-reported signal woes."

 

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:19 | 473999 Johnny Bravo
Johnny Bravo's picture

"Talk about taking fanboyism to extremes."

You could put a turd on a stick, put an Apple logo on it, and there'd be 4 million people lined up to buy one on launch day, telling you it's the best phone/computer/music player whatever.

The majority of Apple's consumers don't know anything about technology.

It's like people that buy into the war on terror.  They see nothing wrong with giving up freedoms with technology to protect against unlikely threats.
You can't change the battery, you can't write code for the programs, you can't use their crappy proprietary formats on other devices.
Oh, but you won't get a virus that .001% of PC users that are too stupid to use anti-virus software get.

I guess that being too stupid to use antivirus software that works automatically is worth 3X the price and lowered functionality.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:13 | 473982 Johnny Bravo
Johnny Bravo's picture

Well, they can certainly afford it with 40% margin on every iclone manufactured.

What's a 5 dollar piece of plastic to them?

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:19 | 473790 wang
wang's picture

I'm watching / reading it almost live here

http://live.gdgt.com/2010/07/16/live-iphone-4-press-event-coverage/

 

“It’s a challenge for the whole industry, and we’re doing the best we can. But every phone has week spots. Now, we’re not perfect: we made it very visible (with a little help from some of our friends from certain websites).”

 

seems like he is making excuses to me

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:19 | 473792 jbc77
jbc77's picture

That would be fun....

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:19 | 473793 besodemuerte
besodemuerte's picture

A little overdone no?

Apple is not going to tumble here.  What's the worst that'll happen?  They'll offer some little $10 gizmo to cover the outside?

Please, Flash Crash 2, relax.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:22 | 474012 chistletoe
chistletoe's picture

Apple will offer users a new plastic cover

(top kill),

then later they'll offer to replace them

(relief well).

 

Meanwhile, Greenpeace keeps on finding swans covered with oil ...

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:20 | 473795 TooBearish
TooBearish's picture

"if you dont want an i4 phone, don;t buy it....we're not perfect....all smart phones have same problem..."

 

WOW

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:22 | 474009 Johnny Bravo
Johnny Bravo's picture

Actually, I've never seen PC users have the same hardware problems as Apple users.

As far as phones go, I've never heard of people with the Android or the Pre having these problems...

People will do anything to cheer for Apple.  People are gay.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:21 | 473797 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

AAPL down a whopping .29%.  Yawn.  A temporary problem.  Go back to focusing on important things.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:18 | 473994 -1Delta
-1Delta's picture

wait till the nas breaks 1800...

 

I TIMBER for the I PIECE OF SHIT

BITCHEZ

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:21 | 473798 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Shoot me now. CNBC has an octobox going and they're discussing the software fix of the reception bar indicator on the iPhones. The iPhone has been showing strength bars that aren't "real".

So does this mean that even Apple has been inflating earnings....er, sorry.....reception bars?

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:26 | 473810 besodemuerte
besodemuerte's picture

Seriously CD, it's ridiculous.  Just listened to them in that octobox all simultaneously argue with each other on whether or not Steve Jobs used the correct opening language for the conference....you'd think they're covering the Super Bowl.

 

 

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:57 | 473940 Pheesh
Pheesh's picture

well when they make up 20% of the nasdaq...they sort of are

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:40 | 473861 HedgingInfinite...
HedgingInfiniteRiskIsNotPossible's picture

"Octobox", I love that. It reminds me of that James Bond movie, "Octopussy".

Say, do any of the boxes contain a female?

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:44 | 473883 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Does Jim Cramer have a third nipple?

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:42 | 473874 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Kill your television.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:21 | 473799 hellboy
hellboy's picture

“We have an extremely sophisticated antenna lab.” Yes, those are some serious antenna lab! “This is a state of the art antenna test facility. We have 17 anechoic chambers. We’ve invested over $100m in our antenna testing facilities over the last 5 years, and we have 18 PhD scientists and engineers doing some very advanced antenna design.”

I like!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:26 | 473812 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

Amazing the sheer man-power and money invested to advance the updating of facebook pages.  Society on the downward slide?  hopefully.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:49 | 473910 economessed
economessed's picture

I whole-heartedly agree:  we can't produce wealth as a nation by tweeting one another, despite all efforts to the contrary. 

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:58 | 473941 BurritoGas
BurritoGas's picture

PhD's.

I feel so much better now.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 15:20 | 474198 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

So THAT'S where those extra Economics PhDs went! - Ned

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:23 | 473804 Teaser
Teaser's picture

nothing a little duct tape can't fix.  Move along now kids.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:23 | 473805 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

Product recall?  I thought most recalls were due to safety issues such as cars, cribs, etc.  An iPhone?  Strange, its electric gadget.  Infact, not getting reception would help safety by keeping people off the phone in cars.  Besides Tyler, they need to run the "formula" before initiating a recall.  Out of court settlement costs?  zip.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:24 | 473807 jbc77
jbc77's picture

Flash crashes are tons of fun. Watch them lips Stevey boy....

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:25 | 473809 God
God's picture

Steve's health is once again failing. It won't be long now...

Without Steve Apple will just be another version of unix. Short that *ucker, hard.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:30 | 473823 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

<Here's my chance.>

Um.....God? Is that really you? 

Could you tell me if that little......er.......rash is all cleared up and won't come back? The wife was a little upset.

Oh, and I gave at the office.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:48 | 473909 Jake Green
Jake Green's picture

666 low .. now God shows up ... and 12.21.12 is coming

All we need now is for the Anti Christ to show up

 

lol

 

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:48 | 474090 oddjob
oddjob's picture

How much is the i-casket?

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:27 | 473818 CosmoJoe
CosmoJoe's picture

Haha this is great.

Steve Jobs: "You all came here today to listen to an update on the iPhone 4 reception issue.  With that in mind, allow me to now talk about all the other smartphones out there, and the issues they have!"

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:30 | 473828 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

But the other smart phone companies do not have a $250 stock price.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:48 | 473907 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Well Dr No remember its not JUST a smart phone company...they do also make these thingies called Imac's, IPro notebooks...theyre called computers.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:20 | 474001 -1Delta
-1Delta's picture

or analysts that suck cock for retail dollars

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:43 | 474075 poopdeville
poopdeville's picture

Yeah, GOOG is 461.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:38 | 473856 Popo
Popo's picture

Oh, so you're iPhone is just as good/bad as the other smart phones on the market?  

Fail.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:28 | 473819 London Dude Trader
London Dude Trader's picture

Steve is talking BS IMO.

 

AAPL 240-strike puts at $0.05 with 3 hrs to exp seem pretty cheap to me.....

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:26 | 474025 -1Delta
-1Delta's picture

good point....

 

be back in a sec...

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:28 | 473822 anony
anony's picture

Apple will mate its Iphone with bunnies.

The offspring of this unnatural act will be an Iphone5 which will automatically come with a complete set of powerful rabbit ears. 

Ka-ching.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:01 | 473945 BurritoGas
BurritoGas's picture

Announcing External Handheld Antenna only for Iphone 4

http://www.businessinsider.com/image/4c3e0f727f8b9ae61a840600/steve-jobs...

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:29 | 473824 wang
wang's picture

seems in denial

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:29 | 473827 CosmoJoe
CosmoJoe's picture

<1    !!!!!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:31 | 473829 The Franchise
The Franchise's picture

The CNBC octo box is one of the most ridiculous things invented. Only surpassed in stupidity by those actually in the octobox.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:33 | 473833 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

Whenever I see that thing I actually wonder what those people are thinking to be one of the eight.  They have to be thinking to themselves there must be more productive thing to do with their lives.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:42 | 473876 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I get a kick watching 4 or 5 people at the same "desk" on the CNBC set talking to the camera instead of to the person next to them. Instead of turning left or right to answer a question from the person 3 feet away, they stare into the camera and ignore the physical person next to them.

Surreal. We've arrived at crazy town. The wait is long but a good time will (eventually) be had by all.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:48 | 473903 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

Somebody in the production business please post reply.  My question: They get these guest speakers to sit on a quad or octa box for about 18 seconds.  Some of these people appear to have repuations and real jobs.  Do they actually take 4-5 hours of time from their day to drive to a studio someplace sit infront of a camera and listen for a total of 1 minute?  Nevermind the guests they choose to grill over the coals.  How much do they pay?

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:55 | 473931 faustian bargain
Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:03 | 473946 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Yeah, but Marcia was hot. At least to this getting-nothing-from-the-local-girls teen at that time in my life.

BTW wasn't Alice the house keeper in the middle box?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Brady_Bunch

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:20 | 474000 Mikebrah
Mikebrah's picture

The epitome of impracticality.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:32 | 473830 FaithEqualsZero
FaithEqualsZero's picture

Perhaps a tinfoil hat will help?

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:34 | 473839 pjvandal
pjvandal's picture

steve: nothing’s wrong, but here’s a free case to fix it.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:35 | 473841 n2dark
n2dark's picture

and with a 0.81 asset correlation this can take down commodities, currencies, basically everything ... the whole world could down the sink hole because of iTulips

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:36 | 473844 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

Stocks up now.  Funny.  This antennae issue has gotten more attention than BP.  

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 15:19 | 474197 Ripped Chunk
Ripped Chunk's picture

I can't stop laughing. 

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:37 | 473846 Mako
Mako's picture

All this over a phone.  This world really is going to get it's ass kicked.  Hahahah

You would think nukes are in flight.  

 

 

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 15:20 | 474201 Ripped Chunk
Ripped Chunk's picture

Somehow, I wish they were.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:38 | 473854 jbc77
jbc77's picture

A free case.......are you kidding me? Fucking apple up 3 bucks on a three case. Problem solved I guess. Throw the moron's a free case, that will shut them up.

So much for the flash crash.

 

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:39 | 473857 meatloaf
meatloaf's picture

FREE CASE!!!!  BUY BUY BUY!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:41 | 473866 curbyourrisk
curbyourrisk's picture

There is yur friday afternoon stick save.

 

Whatch the rally this bullshit gets.  They should do the right thing and recall the damn thing.  Gas the stocks and shoot the shorts....

 

The fuckers!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:41 | 473867 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

"in other news, taking a page from Apple's play book, BP will be offering a free gas can to anyone with a potential claim on Gulf losses.  Upon investigating, our sources found small "waiver of liability if the gift is accepted" stickers on the bottom of the can."

Sat, 07/17/2010 - 00:11 | 475002 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Apparently, your Doctorate is in "Applied Cynicism" -- well done sir/madam!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:42 | 473871 HedgingInfinite...
HedgingInfiniteRiskIsNotPossible's picture

Free cases, bitchez!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:42 | 473872 digalert
digalert's picture

WTF is going on here?

"Jobs better pick his words well"

CNBS: "Apple needs to come clean"

A media feeding frenzy on bullshit! Next we'll need a congressional dog and pony show with Jobs in the hot seat.

Headline news: IPHONE CRISIS! worse than BP

Obama demands new improved IPhone for all, including subsidized service contract.

AT&T service sucks, always has, probably always will. Yet, like Toyota or any other unfortunate business, Apple gets demonized by the lame stream media.

Give me a break.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:42 | 473875 meatloaf
meatloaf's picture

I want the iPhone4 it has the 3G and the wifis.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:29 | 474035 Johnny Bravo
Johnny Bravo's picture

"The HTC Evo fucking prints money!"

Apple Fanboy: "I don't care."

"It will build you an island, turn into a jet, and fly you there."

Apple Fanboy: "I don't care."  "I want the white one with all the Gee bees."

LOL.

Stupid Apple fanboys.  That video was perfect.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:30 | 474042 -1Delta
-1Delta's picture

but no signal...

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 15:22 | 474205 Ripped Chunk
Ripped Chunk's picture

Excellent!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:42 | 473878 perma bear
perma bear's picture

Load up some S&P puts ..by the end of the year you can buy Apple itself..fuck the phone and its case 

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:30 | 474045 Johnny Bravo
Johnny Bravo's picture

I'm up like 8% since I went long on VXX yesterday!  (or at least I was this morning...)

VIX, bitchez!!!

That's more than goldbugs made all year in one day!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:45 | 473888 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Man Id love to see a flashcrash 2.0 today. Im so sick of all these idiot permabulls all around me here its either flash crash to shut them up or I start strangling bitchez.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:48 | 473891 chindit13
chindit13's picture

Clearly the only thing holding back the recovery of the world's economy was a free case for a poorly engineered cell phone.

What neither Bernanke nor Geithner could produce, nor Trichet, nor the Mandarins in the Middle Kingdom, Steve 'Second Coming' Jobs has now delivered to a hungry world.  I'm going to run out right now and buy a condo in south Florida to celebrate.

Some future doctoral candidate at Princeton will earn a PhD by writing a thesis arguing that the way to stop a deflationary spiral is not via dropping buckets of money from a helicopter, but rather dropping buckets of plastic cell phone bumpers.

Wait!  +$3.50 on AAPL suddenly dropped to only +$1.40!  Infidels!  Apostates!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:47 | 473901 Grand Supercycle
Grand Supercycle's picture

 

The DOW/SP00 leg down has started.

http://stockmarket618.wordpress.com

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:48 | 473905 Overpowered By Funk
Overpowered By Funk's picture

AAPL is up now! Good job Steve! Uh, wait ... crap.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:51 | 473912 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

Soon the NYSE will get Jobs to chedule his meetings so they release news a few minutes before 4:00pm. eastern (market close).

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:52 | 473913 ozziindaus
ozziindaus's picture

"QID" listening to Steve Jobs ; )

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:52 | 473919 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Uh...back down oh well...BTW if you want to see real hillarity, Yahoo apple board has about 20 headlines screaming about 'Stevie Jobs says FREE $2 BUMPER CASE for all! BUY BUY BUY'! Its outrageously funny.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:03 | 473950 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Woah!  Does Job's have the PPT clubhouse on speed dial or what?

<Brrrlllling....Brrrllllliing>

Timmah was fast asleep after a long night investigating if Bieber's testicle had indeed been removed.  He had also busy texting Lord Blankcheck who was partying in the Hampton's for the night. 

"Timmah?"  "Timmah it's Jobs.  We got to ramp Apple if you want the index to hang on."  "Timmah!"  "Is Summers there?"  "Timmah, Timmah."  "Alright, don't wake him up, he will understand.  Just ramp the hell out of it, ok?"  "Timmah!" 

Jobs hang up and thought that he wanted a granola bar.  Then and there a robot rode up to him with a bowl of granola and milk.  "Damn it, I was thinking bar."  He slapped the bowl out of the robot's clutches and thought, 'Fix telepathic glitch in robot.'  His ipaduh lit up, and recorded the note.  He stood up and grabbed a granola bar from the cupboard.  'One day soon, I will be able to not leave my bathroom.'  He was gratified at knowing that he could forever be lazy.  Just then the robot approached with a bed pan.  "Damn it!"  he said and smacked it down.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:32 | 474050 Johnny Bravo
Johnny Bravo's picture

You wanna talk about lazy???

The man hasn't changed out of his star trek villain's outfit in ten years!

If I had a billion dollars, I wouldn't wear the same outfit everyday...

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:48 | 474089 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

I laughed at your comment above, and again now.

+1

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:53 | 473922 DoctoRx
DoctoRx's picture

AAPL is a classic financially strong GARP stock in an overvalued market and messed-up economy.  If you must own a stock, buying "value" such as this at a time of controversy that prob is much ado about little makes sense to me.

Will AAPL beat earnings expectations and guide cautiously next week?  Why bother asking . . .

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 13:58 | 473942 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

Can you say Nortel ??? At one point they were roughly half of the TSX.

 

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:06 | 473965 barkingbill
barkingbill's picture

since i went to the genius bar one day fifteen minutes late and they refused to see me i hate apple. they used to be a good innovative company, but like everything else that gets big and corporate and everybody buying their crap. yes now it is shit. who needs a yuppie iphone gizmo that doesnt even work right....perfect symbol for fake plastic corporate america.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:07 | 473968 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

I would love to see Lebron and Jobs have an ego battle.  This whole announcement is all about Steve "Hand" Jobs masturbating his ego.  It really contained nothing worthwhile.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:08 | 473969 barkingbill
barkingbill's picture

the corporations have a perfect recipe to ruin EVERYTHING. they steal rob and produce crap to get the best profits and bonus. and im seeing now the s&p break support as i speak. go baby go. 

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:19 | 473997 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

'Breaking Newz'- Micro-cap CASE makers leap on Stevie Jobs (Whatchoo talkin bout Willis, Im not sick I feel fine) surprise announcement to nevermind crap Iphone antennae thats overblown, free bumper case included! Wow, and all is well on Whore St once again!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:21 | 474004 plocequ1
plocequ1's picture

Nokia and Droid Bitchez. I received my IPhone 2 days ago and there is nothing wrong with this badboy. Nice try Nokia\ Droid Bitchez. Thanks Mr Jobs for my Bumper refund. You are a Gentelman. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:34 | 474055 Johnny Bravo
Johnny Bravo's picture

Why do you need a bumper if there is nothing wrong with your (inferior) phone?

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 16:36 | 474390 plocequ1
plocequ1's picture

Because when you lay it down on a table , it protects the rear glass and the camera by elevating it slightly. It also protects the front glass. It's good overall protection.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:41 | 474068 MrTrader
MrTrader's picture

I am very comfortable with my old 3G IPhone. No need to buy the "new" one...:=)

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 14:42 | 474070 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

*deleted duplicate*

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 15:08 | 474153 The Franchise
The Franchise's picture

Ahh yes, GARP in a messed up overvalued market...

Salesman: Sir, you can have the boat that sinks to the bottom, the boat that will float halfway between the bottom and top, or the one that will hover somewhere 30 feet below the surface.

Buyer: So they all sink, just to varying degrees?

Salesman: Yes.

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 15:10 | 474160 merehuman
merehuman's picture

not buying till i can drive it. Never had one , dont know what it is and am certain i dont need it.

Can it be eaten?   I- What?

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 15:26 | 474216 tahoebumsmith
tahoebumsmith's picture

Apple is one of the largest contributors to the fall of humankind....period..Instead of focusing our attention on the true fundamentals that make up a healthy society we worry about the latest i phone application or the coolest gadget. I was at a minor league baseball game the other night and took notice of all the people's heads that were looking down instead of at the game, they were probably watching the game on their i phone. Kids these days don't even know how to communicate face to face, they just sit and text one another even though the person is only across the street. Pretty sad that our society has been taken over by a company like apple. I know what your thinking, the technology is great and I need it? Think again...you don't, it's nothing but a plastic narcotic that you get dosed with through your eyes. As far as I'm concearned Steve Jobs is nothing but a greedy control freak that wont be happy until he has everyone under his spell. When our society finally is at its knees wondering how we got there don't say I didn't tell you so!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 16:13 | 474338 rapidsingleflux
rapidsingleflux's picture

Apple, and all tech companies, never intended for people to be addicted to the tech they create. I love technology. I have all the gadgets. However, I don't sit there staring at my phone or monitor 24/7. I use the internet to do research and look up DIY advice. I use my droid as bathroom entertainment and as a PHONE (who would'a thought?). Technology is fantastic, the trouble is it's not used in moderation. I completely agree with you, kids are really going to lack the social skills necessary in their futures. However, it's not the technology at fault. The problem is parents giving their kids these phones to play with all day, in school, wherever. Kids text in class, the teachers say nothing because their hands are tied now. My nephew got his cell phone taken away for texting in class, what does my sister in-law do? She calls up the principal outraged that her son's rights were violated. What she should have done was taken the phone away from him for using it when he was supposed to be LEARNING! It's not just the kids that are addicted either. If we don't start moderating our usage a good chunk of society will be nothing more than mindless content sponges looking for the next 30 seconds of entertainment. Oh wait, it already happened...

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