Is Apple's Afterhours Weakness Based On The Assessment Of A Less Than Credible "Doctor?"

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Wed, 02/16/2011 - 22:40 | 968902 GS is short Gold
GS is short Gold's picture

that's not even Jobs, totally fake picture. I hate bullshit stories like this.

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 22:44 | 968915 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Whoever it is looks like Alan Greenspan, poor guy.

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 00:39 | 969209 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

As a doctor, I assure you he looks terminal.


(Did I forget to mention I'm a Juris Doctor?)

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 03:51 | 969439 Tapeworm
Tapeworm's picture

Aw crap, that's just Shmuel Jacobson, the noted Russian stock manipulator at his craft again.

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 05:16 | 969491 Michael
Michael's picture

Here is the real Doctor.

I uploaded a new Youtube video I made.

FOX News Deception CPAC Official Uncut Announcements 2010 Vs 2011

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 01:15 | 969291 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

The best thing we can all do is figure how to profit from this right?

Sad as it is, money will make us feel better.

Long dated out of money puts?

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 03:20 | 969415 quintago
quintago's picture

Steve Jobs getting out of a 1996-2000 Honda Civic Coupe? Unlikely. What a load...

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 22:43 | 968918 djsmps
djsmps's picture

Are you turning into Business Insider or CNBC? Exploiting pseudo news and then talking about the stock collapse. It's down three dollars. Jesus.

My sister has survived two bouts of cancer, one of which was a fatal brain tumor 13 years ago. Her breast cancer was 16 years ago.

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 22:47 | 968928 Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden's picture

Reading the headline may be a useful first step toward factual comprehension.

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 22:59 | 968959 Jump The Shark
Jump The Shark's picture

The National Enquirer has good stuff.

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 23:14 | 968999 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

I read in a similar publication that the reason for him being so skinny is because he is pregnant with alien twins and it is draining his mana.

This is normal just before giving birth. AAPL stock is fine.


Thu, 02/17/2011 - 07:55 | 969546 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Other headlines in the issue:

"Two-headed baby kills own mother!"

"I sold my family as sausages - story of fiend butcher"

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 23:14 | 969000 theXman
theXman's picture

Pancreatic cancer is almost always terminal. My mother died of that in 2009. It's just a matter of time before chemo can no longer hold back the cancer cells. Next you won't be able to eat anything. But IV can keep you going for weeks. Then it is all over.

I'm very sadden by this news -- it brought back painful memories.


Wed, 02/16/2011 - 23:37 | 969064 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

you mean iV

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 03:45 | 969435 Millivanilli
Millivanilli's picture

Fuck you faggot.  The man was telling us about his dead as door nail mother. Have some fucking respect.  

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 08:31 | 969565 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

Marla Singer: Candy-stripe a cancer ward. It's not my problem.

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 03:12 | 969414 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Very sad. I am not an Apple shareholder, huge fan or anything else. I admire him more than Bill Gates.  I hope Jobs does get well. 

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 01:58 | 969335 Barb Dwire
Barb Dwire's picture

Tell me again about how she survived a fatal brain cancer?

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 12:08 | 970252 djsmps
djsmps's picture

We were told by the doctors that there was a minimal chance of survival. It did pretty much destroy her memory.

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 02:46 | 969382 Judge Smales
Judge Smales's picture

Actually, as I type this post, CNBC hasn't bothered to post anything about Apple or Jobs today. They are going to pretend this story isn't out there, until they are forced to discuss it. That's the way market pumpers act. You know, loose lips and all that.

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 03:01 | 969401 zoogle
zoogle's picture

Let me know when there's an instrument that let's me go long her immunity system.

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 09:36 | 969674 Pee Wee
Pee Wee's picture

There is one, it's called a bank holding company.

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 04:20 | 969463 simone
simone's picture

djsmps, I have battled several fucking fatal brain tumors myself.  I bet that you are exactly 6 months older than your sister.

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 12:10 | 970260 djsmps
djsmps's picture

I'm not sure what you mean. I'm glad you survived.

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 05:32 | 969496 Michael
Michael's picture

My Jewish nephew David age 21 died 2 years ago of brain cancer. I attribute it to Diet Coke, vaccines, fluoridated water, and Ritalin.

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 08:05 | 969550 Judge Judy Scheinlok
Judge Judy Scheinlok's picture

No joke, your lifespan is engineered.

Retire at 67, die at 68. The house wins.

This is further proof that iPhones give you cancer.

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 22:46 | 968923 fragrantdingleberry
fragrantdingleberry's picture

Steve Jobs has been dead for three years. They've been using the same doubles Sadam used.

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 23:24 | 969020 I Am The Unknow...
I Am The Unknown Comic's picture

Jobs is actually Osama bin Laden minus the beard. 

Truly Tasteless Jokes of the day:

"Steve Jobs is so thin he only has one side!"

"Jobs says he's been losing his ass shorting AAPL!"

"Jobs disappearing in California!"

Hey don't worry, this is obviously great news for AAPL and NASDAQ, both of which will somehow be up huge by tomorrow's close.  I'm guessing that they will surge on the news that this is all a hoax.  Some doctor will come out and say "the fundamentals of the economy are strong" ....oh wait, I have that confused with The Bernank.      

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 22:46 | 968929 wretch
wretch's picture

A market based on the health of one douchebag boomer-hero deserves to crash on false rumors.

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 00:12 | 969130 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

It's sad, but we knew it was coming. And no, it's not priced into the stock.

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 01:04 | 969269 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Why Sad I'd? He's had a hell of a life. he's also led a lot of people into hell.

The pied piper may be playing his last tune or not.

He should have retreated into the sidelines with some grace years ago.

I wish him well, but out of the public/tech sphere. He's done enough damage as it is.


Thu, 02/17/2011 - 01:19 | 969295 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Death is always sad. People just don't want to believe and say photos are fake or whatever.

He's too sick to work, hes not going for checkups.

But the wall St way is to find a way to profit from this. Just like Microsoft topped out it's market cap a decade ago, we are seeing it here with apple.

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 01:24 | 969304 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Hmmmmm...perhaps for him (judging by his looks) it will be a huge release?

Death is all good. Just the other side of life, which, if un-examined, is not worth living anyways (plato?).



Thu, 02/17/2011 - 03:20 | 969418 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Maybe this will be another weekend at bernies.

Too many people betting this stock up. A topple will drop the NASDAQ, the the rest because it's all correlated, the the world indexes...

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 22:47 | 968932 lolmaster
lolmaster's picture

More importantly, what did SAC know and when?

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 22:55 | 968950 Brokenarrow
Brokenarrow's picture

I find itinteresting that the appl longs would argue that they saw him running a 10K yesterday.

I have some first hand experience with these matters. Jobs is dead man walking.

I wish it wasnt true.

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 23:25 | 969025 tsx500
tsx500's picture

unfortunately u are right on... dead man walking... and it's priced in.... B T F D .

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 22:56 | 968953 BobPaulson
BobPaulson's picture

I can't figure out why he hasn't detached his name from the brand. The poor guy can't even have cancer in peace. I guess he's probably in denial like I would be if I were terminal but I would have thought the company would have taken measures to isolate itself from the physical health of one guy.

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 23:04 | 968974 Judge Judy Scheinlok
Judge Judy Scheinlok's picture

I love TMZ! Woops, I mean tmz! My friend Harvey.

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 00:06 | 969122 Trimmed Hedge
Trimmed Hedge's picture

TMZ is the best!

Probably the only show these days which I actually burst out laughing while watching.  : )


P.S. That's not Steve Jobs.

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 00:07 | 968979 Jasper M
Jasper M's picture

A pulmanologist would be expected to see a lot of lung cancer, which frequently presets the same sort of profound wasting as some other cancers. That said, I do not find that photo ID-able to His Jobs.  

Besides, AAPL's True Believers know he'll just rise again on the third day . . . 


Edit: And What is the big deal about "weakness"? It's just given up what it made in the day trade. Yes, over 1% but it's been a high beta stock lately, so really, what's the BFD?

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 23:06 | 968981 Orly
Orly's picture

Godspeed to Steve Jobs.  One of the greatest of all time.

Vaya con Dios.

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 23:37 | 969058 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

He created one of the greatest manias in the history of the world! Vaya Con Bubbles!!

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 23:45 | 969081 Orly
Orly's picture

Call him showman, marketeer, designer, aesthestist, whatever.

He changed the way the world looks at products by always pushing the envelope further.  Fantastic career, no two ways about it.

Steve Jobs has nothing at all to do with the Federal Reserve Pump and Dump schemes and to insinuate that he did is, frankly, silly.  Sorry you have a problem with other people's success.

Perhaps, too, you are revelling in a bit of twisted shaedenfreude yourself?  That's not healthy, either.

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 01:22 | 969298 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Designed in California by apple.

Made in china.

Apple Is holding a ton of money overseas and won't bring it back unless they get a special tax break.

Money that could Employ Americans and pay their fair share of taxes.

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 01:28 | 969308 Orly
Orly's picture

Not his fault.  What, you expect him to be some benevolent demi-god or a simple human doing the best for his shareholders?

I'd have done the same thing, while telling the president and Congress why I have my stuff built overseas.  The red tape alone stifles more businesses in America than is imaginable.  Top it off with some of the highest corporate tax rates in the world...

No thanks.  You'd have done the same thing, too.

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 02:00 | 969339 Barb Dwire
Barb Dwire's picture

Watch the documentary "The Corporation" - CBC film that is a fantastic eye opener about corporations and their moral propensities.

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 06:59 | 969523 Cash_is_Trash
Cash_is_Trash's picture

I'd fight Steve Jobs

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 01:59 | 969336 patience...
patience...'s picture

"Apple Is holding a ton of money overseas and won't bring it back unless they get a special tax break"

Do you have a link?

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 03:26 | 969421 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Guess you don't know any people who actually create jobs and run businesses.  Those people are doing as little as possible as long as the islamic is destroying america.  Nothing will improve until he is gone and even then it may be too late.   He is mugabe.

As far as Steve Jobs - I could care less about Apple.  The man does have a wife and children. I hope he recovers for his sake and his family.   

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