An Artist's Impression Of A Goldman Sachs Bonus Securitization Offering


Prospectus Supplement to Prospectus dated August 19, 2009.
$30,000,000,000 *
(subject to arbitrary increase)
The Goldman Sachs Group, Inc.
in conjunction with
United States Treasury Department
is pleased to offer you the following
0% Subordinated HFT Participation Notes
in the
GSBS I (Goldman Sachs Bonus Securitization *)
*for legal reasons, Goldman Sachs Group will not use the word "Trust" to describe this entity
The 0% Subordinated HFT Participation Notes represent a securitization of forward-looking executive-retention payments, payable to Goldman Sachs employees. The Notes will pay interest in the form of negative-accrual on the notes on August 19 and February 19 of each year. The first such negative-accrual will be made on February 19, 2010. The Notes WILL NOT be guaranteed by Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. or any of its affiliates. The HFT Notes will be collateralized by proceeds from the bond and an indirect guarantee from the United States Treasury. Both the GSBS I collateral and Treasury Guarantee are for the sole benefit of the Goldman Sachs Group Inc. executive retention program, not holders of the HFT Notes. In the event that GSBS I collateral is not sufficient to meet the "2010 Bonus Payment Amount", the United States Treasury has provided a full and unconditional guarantee for any shortfall in payment amount.
At the earlier of the scheduled maturity date (December 31, 2010) or the "Bonus Payment Date", all principal outstanding for the HFT Notes will be extinguished. At the maturity, all collateral in the GSBS I entity will be paid out to executives, which will result in zero recovery value for the HFT Notes. In exchange for the participating in this HFT Note transaction, participating holders will be "exempted" from front-running by Goldman Sachs Group Inc. proprietary and high-frequency trading activities. Such exemption period will last until the "Bonus Payment Date", at which point Holders of the HFT Notes will be subject to front-running, dark-pools, scalping, and other trading actions that Goldman Sachs Group Inc., in its sole discretion, deems appropriate. If Goldman Sachs becomes obligated to pay additional amounts to non-U.S. investors due to changes in U.S. withholding tax requirements, Goldman Sachs may redeem the notes before their stated maturity at a price equal to 100% of the principal amount redeemed plus accrued interest to the redemption date.
Neither the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission nor any other regulatory body has approved or disapproved of these securities or passed upon the accuracy or adequacy of this prospectus. Any representation to the contrary is a criminal offense. If such criminal offense is committed by a Goldman Sachs employee, it will not be prosecuted.
Initial public offering price 99.858 % $ 29,957,400,000
Underwriting discount 0.450 % $ 135,000,000
Proceeds, before expenses, to Goldman Sachs 99.408 % $ 29,822,400,000
Proceeds to Goldman Sachs executives 99.408 % $ 29,822,400,000
Goldman Sachs may use this prospectus supplement and the accompanying prospectus in the initial sale of the notes. In addition, Goldman, Sachs & Co. or any other affiliate of Goldman Sachs may use this prospectus supplement and the accompanying prospectus in a market-making transaction in the notes after their initial sale, and unless they inform the purchaser otherwise in the confirmation of sale, this prospectus supplement and accompanying prospectus is being used by them in a market-making transaction.
Goldman, Sachs & Co.
United States Government
Disclaimer:
Any resemblance to bonds or securitization pools, actual or imaginary, positive or negative-accrual, issued by Goldman Sachs or The United States Government, is purely coincidental. No puppies were hammered to death in the preparation of this lampoon.
h/t Troy
- Login or register to post comments
- Printer-friendly version
- Send to friend

on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 14:39
#41505
Very cleaver, but my face still hurts from the hot slap!!! Fuckers!
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 14:42
#41509
OUTFRIGGINSTANDING stuff TD.
"MARK IT ZERO, DUDE"
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 20:13
#41651
amen
good articles; my newest bookmarked finance site ..http://www..
hat tip: finance news & finance opinions
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 21:03
#41878
Why don't you pimp that slut somewhere else. Sick of your brown-nosing then promoting the same crappy site twice.
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 21:12
#41886
I think we are all yelling at a robot. This bot continues to apply for new usernames to ZeroHedge, it might be related to the individual that posted the algorithm for the captcha since it appears they pull words from the first sentence in a comment and then add the link.
I personally think someone other than ZeroHedge wants your IP address - it is a bait and lure to get you to click and collect your IP address - not sure if it is government or not.
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 21:24
#41894
Yeah, your probably right about the robot thingy. Got a Ford van that has been driving me crazy... oil pressure relief valve is jammed and it is a 15 hour job to fix it... I have to take the alternator and powerstearing pump off just to get to the oil pressure switch! So even if it is a bot, it made me feel a little better.
Collect my IP address?? Hope the pricks don't room 101 me... I hate rats.
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 14:53
#41524
Ha, ha, ha!
Please forward this to Timmy, Bennie, Barack, Barney, Nancy, and Harry, and tell them that we are watching.
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 14:55
#41529
i bet if you posted this on Ebay someone would bid on it.
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 15:25
#41565
Or call Jim Cramer's Mad Money show and see if he recommends adding it to a "Green Shoots!" portfolio.
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 14:58
#41533
Reuters-
"The stock market shook off early losses Wednesday and turned higher, led by a surge in energy stocks amid signs that demand for oil may be rising."
signs of.... :), i just saw a sign in the sky..and it's gone!
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 15:03
#41534
Funny on the GS issue...
David Kelly, "strategist" for JP Morgan Funds on Bloomberg TV... Economy improving, bull market, etc. First, I have never seen that guy say anything negative about the market in the last 2 bear markets (before he was with Putnam). Second, I have never seen a highly ranked JP Morgan fund (the damn mutual, not the HFs). Third, you can shut 80% of all mutual funds down, substitute with the relevant index products without telling the shareholders, and in 5 years (or less) they will have higher returns with less expenses. So, the time to fire three-quarters of the mutual fund managers is upon us (especailly our joker). Too bad the shareholders are too dumb to do it.
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 15:16
#41548
/agree
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 17:26
#41699
People on average are clueless (not the ZH crowd!). They are getting scammed by the mutual fund industry big time, for a very LONG TIME now. And the scams in the 401k and similar plans are even bigger (ridiculous expenses, terrible plans, you name it)...
Don't get me started. That is a (multi?) trillion dollar fraud right there.
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 17:30
#41703
+9...Infidelity charges a premium to shag you and your money. Those retirement account referral fee's have to come from somebody?
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 17:36
#41713
very shagadelic, you are right about that, there has been a whole lotta shagging for many many years... Those funds are practically permanently overdosed on Viagra
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 19:31
#41811
In my case it was time release Cialis for 20 years...I pulled out with 38% loss..Enough of this crap. Cash is the new Black card...its in my pocket and will remain there forever! I complained to Taleb about missing the rally, he said sweetheart its preservation...;-)
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 19:55
#41828
bear market rallies are the sweetest, if you catch them... kinda like a really hot chick that looooves you when you have money, and you know what happens god forbid you lose a job?
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 15:03
#41537
Print this on fancy paper. Wall Street will buy it.
on Thu, 08/20/2009 - 15:49
#42643
Then GS will short it.
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 15:08
#41541
Tweeter and the monkey man
Are going to the Goldman bash.
They are staying up all night
Printing a washtub of cash
Tweeter said to monkey man
I don’t like being called a liar
Monkey man said don’t worry Tweet
We are taking it to the wire.
Monkey man said the Chinese
Are doing as they please
But we know what we are doing
Soon they will feel
The monkey man squeeze
Tweeter and Monkey Man from the Traveling Wilburys
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 15:25
#41566
In Jersey anything's legal as long as you don't get caught.
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 20:13
#41656
don't get me wrong, i'm a big pro education guy, but in NY it is just throwing money at a situation
good articles; my newest bookmarked finance site ..http://www..
hat tip: finance news & finance opinions
on Thu, 08/20/2009 - 10:27
#42241
I think Bob might like the update.
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 15:13
#41543
Where did he get the original TARP documents from?
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 15:13
#41544
This would have saved our economy a lot of grief if we had just paid the crooks a couple hundred million a piece instead of the structural damage to the economy so they could get a couple hundred million a piece by gaming compensation. This is much more efficient, but we just need to add the quid-pro-quo related to the government guarantee - you scratch my back, I'll scratch your back - I can't get your back if I don't get re-elected so fund my campaign.
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 15:20
#41550
I agree, write it into the usa budget. Dear NYC scumbags, here is your $200B/yr to divide between you, now stop f$cking things up poste haste.
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 15:24
#41564
Obama has no financial sense whatsoever, GS kicks in a million, sure throw them some scraps, not the whole freakin cow.
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 15:13
#41545
Pay up Sucker!
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 15:21
#41553
Is this in any way related to a GSGSE?
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 15:22
#41557
Heh.. I feel so much better now that our oppression is being made fun of on the web.
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 15:39
#41580
As long as you guys are all here, let me ask you - does anyone have ANY idea why, @ 11:48 EST exactly, the market went into parabolic, nuclear, shit-your-pants, mega-rally mode? Any idea at all? Reuters/Yahoo Finance is trying to pin the blame on Energy; their daily 1-line attempt at an explanation is "Market Rallies on Signs Oil Demand May be Rising." As if. Oddly enough, CNBC hasn't come up with theirs yet. I'm sure they're scratching their heads right now trying to use something from their archives (yesterday they said it was cause of HD's earnings.) But, other than the obvious manipulation, was there any specific catalyst that could explain why, as if on cue, the indexes went bananas right @ noon? I wasn't paying attention. I know you got OPEX on Friday, and the bias is to the upside in a month like August 2 days before OPEX, when the ETF's have no dividends. But What. The. Fuck? Everything, right @ 11:48, went nuts.
Did I miss anything? Was there ANYTHING in the news that could explain this shit? Or was it the same ol'/same ol' fry it/buy it programs? Aren't they starting to get worried that somebody - like the rest of the free world - might notice?
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 15:48
#41591
I noticed this too, and I agree it was unusual -- but I have no idea why or how.
It came to my attention after lunch when I noticed there was a correlation coefficient of near 1.0 between gold and U.S. equities during the time in question. Perhaps the U.S. dollar had something to do with it? I have not checked that intraday chart.
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 17:30
#41700
I think it is the currency move... market trading inversely the USD for a while now... TD is all over that:
http://www.zerohedge.com/article/happy-pimco
(not sure why my links are not clickable)
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 18:13
#41745
rumor of a 2nd stimulas
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 18:20
#41754
so we are shooting now for a 15% deficit/GDP target, 13 not being enough... Brilliant, give me 1000 eminis now!
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 15:44
#41586
Stop the press TD!
Boomberg: Swiss Government Decides to Sell Stake in UBS Immediately
http://bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=ahHxThBKIivc
Is UBS still one of the largest counterparties for derivative transations? What can happen if 10% of the deposit base flees / is prosecuted, while the remaining 90% wonders if they are next. While at the same time the government dumps 6 billion CHF of in shares (about 10% of marketcap)
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 15:53
#41598
I think you would call that entertainment in its finest form...
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 16:13
#41618
Holy Cannoli...Blockbuster!!!
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 17:06
#41686
I would think the Swiss Government pull out is part of the settlement and there are more names to come now that the Gov. will not get burned when the stock plunges.
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 17:31
#41704
That was my thought as well...
Hard to believe it is not related.
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 18:03
#41733
Yeah, sure their asses are nice and clean. But this is a recipe for serious trouble. They are dumping 10% of the stock, while at the same time BEGGING the clients to run for the door. UBS should plunge tomorrow.
That said, it is not good when one of the largest derivatives dealer plunges in share price. I think the point is proven by last summer. Tends to give a nasty reinforcing negative spiral. UBS is much larger than Lehman, and people have not reduced their exposure to UBS like they did with LEH.
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 18:23
#41755
UBS down after hours -2.33% on +50% vol over pervious day. Looks like the long knives are out.
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 20:13
#41654
Patterson was actually pushing for large cuts in education spending, mainly because he had no choice due to the precipitious
good articles; my newest bookmarked finance site ..http://www..
hat tip: finance news & finance opinions
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 16:28
#41661
Already got it in my email from some dude in Nigeria
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 16:57
#41680
"Don't ever lose your sense of humor Dan. Don't EVER lose your sense of humor." - James Belushi; About Last Night (1986)
Thanks TD!
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 18:11
#41743
China dumps dollars, US market goes ballistic on dollar fall
stuff the reasons why duh, dollar dump means stocks up in computer speak
Don't think that would do grab the headlines as some other media non think
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 18:16
#41747
The current state of the US economy reminds me of my garden which is a disaster this year. My husband summed it up with a line that seems to me would apply equally well to GS : "All you're doing is feeding the slugs".
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 18:18
#41749
C
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 20:20
#41845
This is lame. What are you, five years old?
on Wed, 08/19/2009 - 21:57
#41926
"No puppies were hammered to death..." very doubtful. Llyod Blankfein is an alleged puppy killer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WFaREeKR1M
on Thu, 08/20/2009 - 22:29
#42969
Apparently GS' wives can act like stupid rich walking plastic boobjobs and get away with it too.
http://www.nypost.com/seven/08052009/gossip/pagesix/goldman_sachs_wives_hate_to_wait_183044.htm
http://www.hedgefund.net/publicnews/default.aspx?story=10330
Hey, Greenspan's been supposedly arrested so many times, it hasn't stopped him from continuing to oeprate as a DVD "asset".