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Bailout-Babel Fish: Vikram Pandit Edition: How 83% Dilution Is "Good For You"
Original version in Pandit-speak:
Dear Colleagues,
Today, we announced a series of transactions to repay the $20
billion of TARP outstanding and terminate the asset guarantee we
received from the U.S. government. The Treasury also announced its
intention to sell its ownership in Citi stock in the coming months.
These actions bring us closer to ending a very difficult period for our
company, and we owe the U.S. taxpayers and the government a debt of
gratitude for their extraordinary assistance.That we are here is a testament to your hard work and
accomplishments in getting our house in order. Today we are strongly
capitalized, efficient, focused on our clients with a clear strategy
for the future. With your commitment and dedication, we have created a
strong foundation for the future.Our goals near term are clear: to achieve sustained profitability
and to promote economic recovery by lending, keeping people in their
homes, and helping clients with their needs. There are still economic
challenges ahead that require your continued focus on clients and
disciplined execution.Over the past few months, I have visited many of you in the U.S. and
around the world. I am continually impressed by the depth and breadth
of talent we have at Citi. I am also very touched by your efforts to
help customers and families in need and the communities of which we are
a part.Thank you for all you do every day for our clients, customers,
communities and Citi. I am very proud of your accomplishments.Vikram
Bailout-Babel Fish translation, courtesy of Portales Partners (via FTAlphaville)
Citigroup: “Today we announced a series of transactions to repay the
$20B of TARP outstanding and terminate the asset guarantee we received
from the U.S. Government.”Translation: I am sick of working for $1 per year.
Citigroup: “Today we are strongly capitalized….”
Translation: We have diluted the shareholders by a factor of six.
Citigroup: “…efficient…”
Translation: We have cut the company in half.
Citigroup: “…and created a strong foundation for the future.”
Translation: We are working on a strategy.
Citigroup: “There are still economic challenges ahead…”
Translation: Forget about any kind of bonus.
Citigroup: “Over the past few months, I have visited many of you in the U.S. and around the world…”
Translation: I am trying to avoid the home office.
Citigroup: “Thank you for all you do every day for our clients, customers, communities, and Citi.”
Translation: Common shareholder? Hello? Dilution of 83% is the inverse of a factor of six.
So much easier to understand.
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It thrills me to no end to recall that these bastards are the holders of my mortgage.
There was an article on 'strategic default' in the WSJ. Get your own bailout.
Hey Pandit, I know you and some of your collegues over there read this site. I hope Abu Dubai sticks it to you on the stock purchase. I wouldn't buy a share of Citigroup while you and your criminal henchmen were running the company if someone paid me to! It's time Abu Dubai and the rest of the world put you idiots out of business for all the fraud you have perpetrated on the world!!!
Hey Pandit, I know you and some of your collegues over there read this site. I hope Abu Dubai sticks it to you on the stock purchase. I wouldn't buy a share of Citigroup while you and your criminal henchmen were running the company if someone paid me to! It's time Abu Dubai and the rest of the world put you idiots out of business for all the fraud you have perpetrated on the world!!!
The ability to analogize the madness that is the current pablum narrative is being stretched by the incessant, perpetual and ubiquitous Orwellian strategerizin' of the bankster enabling Federales.
But we'll give it a shot anyway.
First up, B.S. Bernanke, awarded the Crime Man of the Year.
Oh, we just avoided a Great Depression!
Yeah in the sense that the wealth equalization that occurs through creative destruction after a boom setting the stage for prudent capital allocation and organic income growth has been replaced by a balls-to-the-wall casino marketplace and an approaching tax redistribution that will eviscerate the middle class.
Yea beer!
This Great Depression is being imprinted with the absurdity of a continuing separation of wealth. B.S. sure did internalize that history lesson eh?
Second, the illegal and fraudulent practice of monetizing losses that spearheaded the Smells Fargo -Wachovia hookup and the PNC-National City groupin', although repealed by the Congress was ...what would be the word? unrepealed? in order to gift Bandit a cool 36 billion.
Good times, good times.
Third, page 2 of today's FT, supplicant Guha repeats divinations from the Oracle at Eccles ...when it starts raising should it communicate its policy stance in terms of an interest rate on bank reserves rather than a target for the Fed funds rate as in the past? Maybe......its favoured new tool:the ability to pay interest on bank reserves...but many officials would like to end up in a situation in which reserves are substantially higher than they were pre-crisis...
When Goldie took Trader Hank aside during one long weekend to inform him that AIG was systemic, it was clear that a tough hard decision had to be made to liquidate in order to forgive past debts ... unfortunately it turned out to be a bankster jubilee.
Failure to liquidate the insolvent banksters liquidated a large part of the productive economy.
We are doubling down to turn a lost decade into a lost generation.
Excess reserves are nothing more than DIP financing for a generational workout...
How much is a couple points on a trillion?
Thank you, drive through. Would you like TLGP or TALF with that?
And J6P, of course, is getting hosed at the drive thru. Damn dirty apes ...Its' a Madhouse.
You belong to the citi
concrete under your feet
YOU BELONG
YOU BELONG
Why is Bandit (not a misspelling) or any other banking CEO who steered these banks underwater still in charge? I am always AMAZED how incompetence and failure is rewarded these days.
Mainly in the USA. In most other countries, you are removed.
In China you are executed!
In Japan, you execute yourself!
He wasn't in charge, although he did play a part in leading the cow to the slaughterhouse.
Tyler's translation says it all.
While Bandit may not have been on board the whole time, the one supreme idiot of all time that has been, and was dumb enough to by the toxic consumer loan portfolio that was Amsouth at the very height of over valued prices, and has absolutely no business having a job ANYWHERE, even cleaning my toilet, could someone please explain why the ire hasn't engulfed C. Dowd Ritter?
I know someone in HR and she says half the employees are ready to go postal and the rest are disloyal to the company.
ready to go postal
---------------
i thought it reserved for USPS workers only
Pandit is one typo away from being Bandit. Did anyone ever think about that?
It says here that you've misspelled Pandit a lot lately.
AM: I wouldn't say that I missed it.
Vikram Pandit
Vicram Pandit
Vicram Bandit
Vicrim Bandit
Vicrime Bandit
Icrime Bandit
Crime Bandit
love it!!
Citigroup: “Today we are strongly capitalized….”
Thanks to our Congressional servants strong arming FASB into modifying FASB 157 last March so we can mark our assets anyway we want, regardless of their worth, and falsely inflate our profits.
Also, we would like to extend a special thanks to Sheila Bair (and you know who, tee hee) for recognizing how important it is to look the other way on bank capital needs by delaying any need to raise capital to do the incoming onslaught of shit assets from our off balance sheet entities. This capital requirement delay, announced this very morning (tee hee) by the FDIC, gives us great optimism that we can better tweak our asset modeling assumptions and find a way to value these assets at over one hundred cents on the dollar.
Absent the ability to do that, we will consider moving our banking charter to Japan where they have announced a much sounder and more fiscally responsible policy of allowing banks to increase necessary capital ratios to a bare minimum over the next 10 to 20 years.
I am slightly retarded and not at all considered the sharpest knife in the drawer. Hell I am just a lowly salesman with no financial training what-so-ever. If I can understand the grand larcany that is taking place, why can't others in America "the greatest country in the world" figure this nonsense out?
Too much television and reading of newspapers is what I am gathering.
He forgot to thank the Treasury and the IRS for 'tweaking' the tax rules last Friday that will give Citi the benefit of having to pay billions of dollars less in taxes against its profits. Other than that bit of discourtesy and ingratidute, I would say it is a good letter.
I knew there was a reason I dumped my Citi stock in '06. For A while I thought I was much too early.
Speaking of dilution, when is the SEC going to look into John Winfield monetizing his debt at Goldspring?
The guy's been financing the company using convertible debt and selling his converted shares to fund the company, thus diluting the small shareholders. No Form 13G, no Form 4. Shareholders are financing the company but getting less and less. Seems illegal, no?
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/GoldSpring-Receives-Funding-prnews-2209566...
"we owe the U.S. taxpayers and the government a debt of gratitude for their extraordinary assistance"....f*** the gratitude, you owe US real money Vik (TGLP, the too big to fail put that is STILL in place)
Now go use that cheap taxpayer credit to do overnight/bought equity deals with weak economics but surely buy league table market share. Oh yeh, and keep tie, tie, tie-ing the provision of lending to winning more M&A, bond and equity mandates, just like you've done so well in the past!!!!